Chapter 43 - Ivan 42

TW// Mention of alcohol and drug abuse, mention of child abuse, mention of sexual abuse

Silence fell between them as the carriage rode through the forest towards Lucine. Ivan's eyes glanced at Rea, whose, still pale face, was turned towards the window, but her look was distant, in a place entirely different.

None of them wanted to speak about what had happened. They didn't want to talk about the lies Urien preserved from them, for they feared if they spoke them out loud, they would turn true. The kingdom had been collapsing for far longer than it was known. They didn't want to hear that. They came to Urien for help not the truth of the state he left his kingdom. He searched Rea's face in hope to find something, anything, but her face was just distant.

Ivan knew reassuring words wouldn't help, yet he still opened his mouth to speak.

"He let his people starve." Rea said before, any sound could leave Ivan's mouth. "He left them to die."

She finally looked at him and, the light coming through and falling upon her face. Only then he could see tears falling down her cheeks. She didn't even bother to wipe them away.

"And I'm no better." She laughed through the tears. "I left them. I was stupid and went out to the sea without helping my people first. I spent all of my time preparing for a banquet that turned out to prove nothing. I let the most dangerous woman escape my prison. I am no better than Urien. I'm even worse than him." Rea looked outside. "They were right. A woman could never lead."

Ivan watched her. Once, years ago, he would agree with her. After all, it was all he knew, it was all his mother taught him.

"Our lives are so easy." Continued Rea, her voice now low. "Everything is brought to us on a silver plate. We get everything while the rest suffer. People struggle to make it through their day. They sacrifice everything for small things and food, that should be essential to them. Children live without their parents, or their parents don't give a shit about them." She clenched her fists, her knuckles white. "And we just sit there on our thrones, looking down on them from high, safe places."

Rea buried her face in her hands, her shoulders hunched – trembling. It pained Ivan, how much truth there was in her words. It had and it still was a cruel place they lived in. But they could change it. She could change it.

"You don't have to be like them." Rea looked up in surprise. "You can be different."

Rea sat there, gaping at him. Her mouth was open, her lower lip shaking, but she couldn't muster out a word. Ivan sighed and looked down at his hands, fingers entwined.

"I've come from a poor family. I lived with my mother in the town in Venzior. It wasn't a pleasant city for a kid to live in." He took a shaky breath and continued. "I never knew my father. We were poor, barely living day by day. Everything my mother earned, which was by offering her body, she used for alcohol and drugs. I've learnt to take care of myself at a very young age. No child should become an adult so young."

Ivan glanced out of the window, afraid of meeting Rea's eyes. "As I've said, my mother offered her body and she let others do with her, whatever they wanted. There was no help I, or anyone for that matter, could offer her. She was lost in it. I got myself a little job that paid me enough to leave everything behind and come to Naydawin, where I joined the royal army."

He sighed when he remembered his first days at the kingdom. He struggled as everyone came from important families – all of them had a reputation that helped them. Ivan had nothing but his body and heart. The only person who also had nothing, was Ameer. His parents had died at a young age, so he joined the army with nothing, just as Ivan did.

Despite everyone always opposing and looking down on them, they climbed up the ranks surprisingly quickly. Soon they were known as the best soldiers in the royal army.

His eyes were fixed on the scenery outside, changing from a forest to a fields of Lucine. "My mother was an awful person. She cared little about herself and couldn't fend for herself."

Or her son. He wanted to say, but he had long since accepted that his mother never cared for him. "I became to hate women because of her. My mother had taught me that women were just mere objects, who weren't able to fend for themselves and could never oppose others and that they could never fight or rule." He lowered his voice, till it was only a whisper. "I grew up knowing only that."

Finally, Ivan looked at Rea, her face still teared up, shocked. "But you showed me otherwise. Since the day I've met you, you have proven me wrong. You showed me kindness, you showed me how smart you are. You always knew how to stand your ground and fight. You showed me strength, a will to prove others wrong when they doubted you. The determination in you always inspired me. Rea, you showed me that women are not just mere objects."

And it wasn't just in Rea, Ivan had seen it in Amelia, in Margey and even in Cornelis. There was more than what his mother had shown him and now looking at Rea, seeing her grow up – he knew now, that Rea could one day lead countries and kingdoms and fight and win wars.

"I know I told you again and again, but I will say it a million times till you believe me." He reached for her hands. "Rea, you are the best thing that could happen to this kingdom. You are capable of more than you think, and I believe you can bring this kingdom to its glory."

Ivan paused, thinking Rea would say that he was wrong, or worse, that she would say that his mother was just trying to protect him. But Rea's eyes filled with new tears.

"Oh, Ivan I- " She jumped into his arms and hugged him tight. "I never knew your mother was… I-" She stuttered her words. "I'm sorry." Rea looked him in the eyes. "Did you really mean it?"

"Every word I said." Said Ivan with a gentle smile. He reached to her face and wiped away her tears. "I know I've been saying this the whole time, but we will find a way and if your parents won't be able to help, I will." Ivan placed his hand above his heart to where the pin of Lucine was. "I swear on my life – I will stay by your side and help you get through everything. I swear it on my name and life."

A big grin crossed over Rea's face as she hugged him again. "Oh, Ivan. You didn't have to swear an oath to me. I believe you."

Ivan hugged her back, gently stroking her back.

"Thank you." She whispered. Ivan smiled in response. He looked out the window now recognizing the familiar scenery of Rea's homeland.

"We're almost he- "

The carriage suddenly stopped with an aggressive tug. Rea pulled herself away from Ivan, eyes wide. "What was that?"

Ivan was already reaching for his sword, but before he could draw it, a long sword snapped to his neck through the window.

"Don't. Drop the sword, I won't hurt you." A non-threatening, soft voice said.

"Amari." Whispered Rea.

Ivan only gripped the sword tighter and looked at Rea. "Who?" Ivan never got an answer, as Rea opened the carriage door on the other side and rushed out of it. "Rea!"

He went after her, going around the carriage and stopped. Two people were standing in front of him – a short, figured person, their longsword still in their hand, but withdrawn and a dark skinned woman, who was covered in bandages, clutching at the side of her body. Ivan had seen them once. He quickly realized it was at the banquet. They were the ones who attacked.

"What are you doing here?" Rea asked as she stepped forward.

Ivan grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away. "Rea don't."

"We won't hurt you." Said the woman standing behind, face swollen with bruises and wounds. The shorter one put away their sword. "We've come to help."

"Help? Last time I remember you attacked me, Neirin?!"

"Rea please there's no time."

Ivan's eyes darted from one to another, his hand steadily on the hilt of his sword. "You know each other?"

"They were the ones who attacked my ship and stormed in on my banquet." Spit Rea. "Oh, and left me stranded on an island."

The short one stepped forward. "Rea, there is no time. Luana is coming for your parents."

At that, both Ivan and Rea froze. "Luana is coming for my parents? How do you know that?"

"I know you may not trust us, but I heard Luana. She's planning something. At first I didn't quite understand what, that's why I told Elias I didn't know- " Said Amari.

"Elias? You saw him?"

Neirin jumped in. "Luana wanted to kill me. Elias and Amari found me. He told me to go on The Rose Sparrow and wait for him, but there is no time, Rea. Luana is already at Lucine." When Rea didn't say anything Neirin's voice turned desperate. "I swear I will explain everything to you, but we need to move now, before it's too late."

"How do I know you won't betray me again, Neirin?"

There was a long pause as Neirin stared up at Rea. "Because I want to stop Luana." She closed her mouth, but Ivan could see she wanted to add something.

Everything seemed wrong to Ivan. Something wasn't right. He already had a bad feeling going to Lucine, and now this. The King and Queen might be in danger. Ivan glanced at Rea, her face mixed with expressions. She wanted to step forward when Ivan pulled her away again.

"You aren't going with them. Are you?" He whispered. "You're not trusting them."

"Ivan, Luana is after my parents, for god knows what reason. I will take my chances."

"Rea-"

"We'll be careful. I promise." She smiled, through the worried expression. "Besides, I've got you with me." She turned back to Neirin and Amari. "What's your plan?"