TW// PTSD, panic attack, violence
He felt a pressure on his chest. That wasn't normal. He shouldn't have felt anything. Tivon was sure he was dead. So why did he feel slamming against his chest? He knew death. He knew how it felt. He knew it felt like nothing.
The pressure became worse, and Tivon felt his lungs burning. He forced his eyes open. Elias was on his left, pushing against his chest. Tivon pushed himself to the side and vomited out the water. Air filled his lungs as he gasped for it.
He was alive.
He was drowning again. But he survived this time.
Tivon was shaking, barely leaning on his hands. His lungs were burning, his heart slamming against his scar. I almost drowned again. He took a shaky breath and turned to Elias, who was heavily breathing himself, his eyes fixed on the wavy sea. Rain was still pouring down on them.
He saved me.
Did he remember me drowning? Does he remember me?
Elias suddenly turned to him, furious.
"You." He pointed a finger at him. "You! It's all your fault!"
He stood up and before Tivon could slip away, he pulled him up with one hand. "I fell into the sea, because of you!" Tivon opened his mouth to speak, but Elias dropped him, turning to the sea. "Now we're stranded on the island because of you!"
"T-they pushed you." His voice was shaking, still processing the fall, the drowning. "I tried to save you."
"Save me?!" He took a step towards him. Tivon didn't move. "I saved you. You were drowning."
Tivon stayed silent. All he wanted to do was lay down and rest. He looked down at his shaking hands.
"And now, because of you, we're stuck here!" Elias pushed passed him, headed towards the forest.
"Where are you going?"
Elias didn't say anything. Tivon flinched at a thunder struck. Running after Elias was stupid, however Tivon had no other choice. He didn't want to be alone on this island. He ran after Elias.
He followed him to some abandoned houses up on the hill, looking down at the lagoon. They were both silent as they entered one of the houses, whose roof was still attached. Elias took off his coat and threw it over a chair. He was irritated. His fists were clenched, and his body was shaking in anger. Tivon leaned on the wall by the window. He couldn't stop the shaking of his body. He couldn't stop himself from gasping for air.
He could've died again. It was too familiar. The cold water, the smell of gunpowder, the pressure, the pain. Tivon shut his eyes tightly. He could've died and he wouldn't have Cornelis to save him. Tivon wasn't even sure if she could do it again.
Tivon glanced towards Elias, who was still turned away from him. But he saved me. Why did he? He could've let him to die. He could've just swam away. Why? Why do you push me away and claim you don't remember me and then save me?
Tivon hugged his arms over his body and looked back through the window. The rain came to a stop. Leaving the air damp and cold. Maybe he remembered seeing me drown. What if he's remembering?
"Why are you still here?" Tivon looked at him, confused. "I'm The Grímur. I'm The Masked Man!« He turned to face him. "Why aren't you running away from me? Why do you keep searching for me? Why aren't you afraid of me?!"
He sounded so… desperate. Tivon sighed and leaned off the wall. "I've told you before. It's because I kno- "
"Don't say that!" He shouted. "You don't know me. Only my crew knows me and even they don't! My parents were killed, and the crew took me. They taught me how to fight."
"They made you a murderer." Interrupted Tivon.
Elias didn't listen to him, he continued. "The Kingdom of Naydawin was always our enemy. I killed Sabur because he tried to make an alliance with them."
"No, you killed him, because you didn't want for anyone to carry the same curse as Sabur."
"There is no curse!" Shouted Elias.
Tivon pointed at the tattoo on Elias' wrist and stepped towards him. "That tattoo is the sign of your curse. It's your duty!"
"The only thing we are obligated to do is get rid of The Green Woman's houses."
They were face to face, shouting at each other. "Yes, but not by murdering them!"
Elias ignored his facts. "Why are you forcing yourself into my life. You were never there!"
"I was!"
Now Tivon's voice was sounding desperate. He never wanted to shout at Elias, he never wanted to see him furious. He never wanted any of this.
Elias turned away and hissed. "I should've killed you in that village. I should've killed you a long time ago."
"Then why haven't you?!" Tivon forced his tears down.
"I would've!"
"If you want to kill me, kill me now!"
Elias snapped. He grabbed Tivon by the collar of his shirt and pushed him against the wall. Tivon forgot to breathe for a moment. His body stopped shaking, eyes narrowing. He was afraid. He was terrified of him.
Elias dropped him, stepping away and turning away. Tivon opened his mouth to speak. He struggled to say anything as tears fell down his cheeks.
"I-I…"
He shut his eyes and ran through the door. Tivon didn't know where he was going, he just needed to run. He wanted to get away. He couldn't see through his tears. There was nothing left for him. Nothing. Elias was gone.
Tivon shut his eyes tighter and ran faster till he felt the water at his feet. He stopped and opened his eyes, breathing wearily. He was standing in the lagoon, the moon shining through the clouds parting away.
He lost him.
He lost Elias.
Tivon fell down on his knees, buried his head in his hands and wept.