Ivan remembered the times he had to ask for permission to take Tivon and Rea outside the castle walls. With Rea it was easier for her mother and father never knew about their ventures out into the forest. But for Tivon, Ivan needed to promise to stick to the forest paths, away from towns and villages. At first, he thought it was for the prince's safety. Later it turned out it was for Urien's image.
He looked at Rea ridding in front of him. She had grown so much. She was almost taller than himself. He could still recall all the times they had to measure each other up against the tree in the castles garden, eager to finally outgrow Ivan one day.
Time flew by so fast. Tivon and Rea were unbearable as children. All their teachers and governesses had given up on them. They were in fact too smart for anybody. The kingdoms last and only solution for these two little smart heads was Ivan, so they gave him Rea and Tivon to babysit, even though he was just barley seven years older than them. At that time, he wasn't a General yet, no, he was merely a guard of the castle. He first thought they've given him the job of babysitting to spite him and at first, he hated every second of it.
Tivon and Rea wouldn't listen to him, he could never get them to sit down and stay still and they would never, not for even a second, stop talking.
"They're unbearable. They're so tiresome. Because of them, I don't have any time to rest. It makes my job as a guard even more intolerable."
He laid down in the tall grass, pressing a palm on his forehead.
"Oh, did two little kids get into your head?" He laid beside him, supporting his head on one hand.
Ivan sighed. "They are two little demons."
"Then listen to the little demons."
Ivan looked at Ameer. A playful smile danced across his face, dimples in the corner of his mouth, his blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight. "Listen to them? All they do is talk!"
"Talking or asking?" That made Ivan think. He was so used to ignoring Rea and Tivon that he didn't even know if they were asking him things. "They are used to being ignored. No one ever wants to answer their questions. They're just curious. Show them the world. You had already seen much of it, so just show them."
Ivan looked up at the sky. White, soft clouds were lazily rolling through the sea of blue. "How do you know so much about this stuff?"
He giggled and closed his arms behind his head. "A natural talent." Ameer closed his eyes. "Just give it a chance."
"I will try." Sighed Ivan.
Ameer gently brushed his fingers against his hand and then tangled his fingers in Ivan's. Ivan flinched at first but didn't put his hand away. He didn't let go till they had to go back to the castle.
Next day Ivan took Ameer's words and listened to Tivon and Rea. Ameer was right, they were just two little kids eager to know more about the world, all its dark and bright secrets. Ivan told them everything he knew. He told them stories, real and fictional ones, he told them about his adventures and later as they grew older, he taught them to ride and to fight.
They loved it. They wanted to spend more and more time with Ivan. They loved him and Ivan had to admit that these two little rascals grew close to his heart.
Ivan would tell everything about them to Ameer. He would always patiently listen, gently smiling at him.
"See I was right."
"I should've listened to you earlier."
"Mhmm." He smiled and looked in front of him.
Ivan looked at him. He had to admit to himself that Ameer was handsome. His short black hair, his dark smooth skin untouched by the scars despite that he worked in the royal army, his long, lush eyelashes, and his blue eyes, that sparkled like two diamonds in the dark. He was beautiful.
"You're staring at me."
Ivan's face heated. He quickly looked away, his hand going through his golden hair, which was short at the time.
He cleared his throat. "They would like y-you. I mean, I would like for you to like them. N-no, I mean, they would like you. I like you." He stumbled on his words, realizing what he had said only a minute later. Ivan could feel his whole body turn red. He was too scared to look at him. He just wanted to run. His body wouldn't listen. "I mean- I-I"
"Say it again."
Ivan finally looked at him. Ameer was staring at him, waiting for Ivan to say something. Ivan's mind went blank. He didn't even know when he said it. "I-I like you."
Ameer leaned closer and whispered. "Really?"
Ivan's voice was steady then. "Yes."
Ivan put his hand behind Ameer's head and leaned in for a kiss.
After that day they would always meet on their little hidden spot on the tall grass, away from curious eyes.
He missed those simple times when it was just the two of them, one part of the day and the other part him, Rea, and Tivon. After Tivon's accident, Rea's visits were less frequent, Tivon had gotten quiet, his father let him outside the walls less and Ameer and Ivan, had to see each other less, even though they were in the same ranks in the royal army.
And then the battle happened. They weren't prepared. They took them by surprise. Ameer was prepared to risk his life, no, to pledge his life for the kingdom. And he did. Ivan was never the same since then.
"Where do you intend to go, General?"
Ivan had to blink separate times to finally remember where he was. Rea was picking flowers, while he held her horse's reins. Those were the only flowers that grew in cold weather. He cleared his throat and spoke. "Ivan. Today I'm just Ivan." he gripped the reins in his hands. "And we'll go wherever you like Your Majesty."
"Rea." She looked at him with a smile. "The same goes for me. Today, I'm just Rea."
She mounted her horse. He looked down at his horse. It was a graceful black stallion with black mane, but it was not the same as his previous one that Rea had stolen from him.
"I still need to get back to you for my horse."
"My horse fell off a cliff Ivan."
"Mine was more valuable. It was the best horse in the kingdom."
"And my mare was mine. I treated you with breakfast, didn't I?"
Ivan frowned. "A horse and a breakfast are not the same."
"Oh, Ivan." She reached forward for her rains. As he gave it to her, Rea quickly took one flower and tucked it behind Ivan's front pocket on his coat. Ivan looked down. It was a pink Camellia flower. Ameer's favourite flower.
Rea took the reins, smiled gently, and nudged her horse forward. "The waterfall near Penrith. I would like to go there."
"Then we shall go there."
They had to leave the horses behind, for the terrain became too steep and dense with trees. They struggled a bit to get to it, but it was worth it. The waterfall was fourteen feet long, water pouring down in a lake, a steady river floating down to the village.
They had seated themselves on a flat rock by the water. Rea was putting flowers she had gathered earlier on the surface of the water, while munching down on pomnies, little orange sweet berries, Ivan had packed for them at the castle.
She looked much more rested and relaxed than the previous day. He was glad that she was able to set aside her worries, even if just for one day.
When Rea put down the last flower she turned to Ivan. "I'm sorry if I stepped over your boundaries by giving you that flower. I know what it means to you."
"It's okay." Ivan took it out and held it in his hands. "I wanted to thank you. I just forgot how words work."
"What was he like?"
Ivan took his eyes of the flower to look at Rea. "Huh?"
"I never knew his name. You barley talked about him."
Ivan looked back at the flower and sighed. It was not that he never trusted Tivon and Rea enough to tell them about Ameer, he actually didn't know why he so rarely spoke about him, and it was not that he wouldn't want to remember him either. He was on his mind all the time.
"If you don't want to talk about-" Began Rea.
"His name was Ameer," Ivan looked at the lake. "He was the kindest person in the army I knew. He was smart, Saints, he was really smart. And he was witty, he knew what to say to make the situation less awkward or less pessimistic. He always knew what to do or say. And he was beautiful. I loved his dark, warm skin and his smile. Every time he smiled dimples appeared at the corner of his mouth." He put the flower up to his eyes. "He would leave these flowers everywhere for me. I would find them in my bed, my uniform, with my swords, tugged in my study books, he would always find places to put them. I miss him."
The last three words came out as a whisper. He tried to push away the tears, he was gathering in, for years. Rea placed her hand on his.
"I'm sure he misses you too."
Ivan let out a laugh. "You two would get along really well. He always wanted to meet you." He let Rea hold his hand as he talked. "We had to keep our relationship hidden, but I had promised him, I would introduce him to you two after we'd sailed back home. Fate had other plans."
Rea focused on the lake in front of her. "I think I have met him once." Ivan looked at her, curious. "As I was visiting Naydawin, my guard got sick, and I needed to get home. Ameer was put in charge of protecting me. He would talk to me the whole way back. He wouldn't stop talking. I was grateful for that. None of my guards ever wanted to talk to me. I said to him that he would get along well with you. He only smiled at that. He was a good man."
"One of the best." He tried his best to hide his sob. "It felt nice to talk about him with someone. Thank you, Rea."
"You can always talk to me. About anything. I will listen."
"Same goes for you."
Rea quickly removed her hand from his and hugged her knees to her chest, like she just remembered something important.
"Something wrong?"
She smiled, her worried expression gone in a second. She stood up. "We should start heading back, before it gets dark."
Rea turned on her heals and headed towards the horses. Ivan stood up and leaned towards the lake. He put the flower down into the water, letting it flow down the river with the rest of the flowers.
They stopped in Penrith for Ivan had to take care of something. At first, he wasn't keen on Rea going with him, but she insisted if she wore her hood that she wouldn't be recognized.
Ivan took care of his business quickly and joined Rea at the fountain in the middle of the town. She wasn't waiting for him there. I let her alone for five minutes. Panic hastily seized him. Something happened to her. That was the only thing he could make out of the situation. Or someone recognized and kidnapped her. It wouldn't be unlikely as thieves and roughs were known in these lands.
He set in a run through the village. He couldn't call for her name. It would attract too much attention. As he almost came to the end of the street, he saw her in a narrow alley. Her hood was still on. She was handing a pomny to a child, his face so thin from starvation. He ran to her.
"Rea." He whispered her name. "What are you doin-"
When she turned around, her face was covered in tears. "They're starving." She muttered.
More people emerged from the street as they saw the berries, all of them famished, their thin limps reaching towards them. They started running towards them.
"Please, if you have food."
"Miss, please, we're starving."
Rea started walking backwards. "I-I can't-"
They started reaching for her coat. Ivan pulled her by her wrist. "Rea, we need-"
Her hood fell and the crowd gathered around them gasped. Time froze for Ivan.
"Princess Rea?!"
The crowd pushed towards them. "You need to help us."
"We are starving."
Ivan could feel Rea shaking. "I-I can't-"
"Please, you're the princess."
"Rea, we need to go." He started running, holding Rea tightly by her wrist. She didn't resist. They quickly made their way out to their horses and rode towards the castle.
Rea didn't say a word all the way back. Ivan noticed that she had stopped shaking, but her face was still full of shock, eyes red from the tears. Ivan wanted to comfort her, but he didn't know how. They shouldn't have stopped in the town. What they saw at Penrith was a cruel reality that they would need to fix.
Ivan cursed under his breath.
He wanted Rea to relax and forget about her problems for just one day, but he had just made everything worse.