After being thoroughly chewed out by Kronos again, we made our way back to the town of Lorelei with the bandit leader's head as proof that they had been dealt with.
Unfortunately...Kronos was right.
Duke Oswald had no intention of giving us a full reward for executing the bandits and instead, we were paid a third of what the contract stated.
The Duke expressed that it was always possible that we could have killed one man and claimed to have executed the bandits.
So I was forced to go without pay, and I missed out on most of the celebratory meal.
In fact...the celebratory meal consisted of bread and soup. Of which, I only had a piece of bread...thanks to Nasumi's kindness.
This wasn't the worst thing in the world for me since I knew how to hunt and prepare food, myself, but it still hurt...
To see my friends forced to live in such a way, of course.
It didn't help that everyone, save Nasumi, was angry with me.
At this point, I was beginning to trust her more than the others. She was kind to me when no one else was. Now I understood why Mako seemed to constantly glance at her.
Anyone could tell that he fancied her. That much was obvious. And the nicer she was to me...the more wary he seemed to get of my presence.
Regardless, I began to feel deep regret for my actions.
And that...was only the beginning...
* * *
A few weeks passed.
In that time, we took many more jobs and I began to remember things about my friends.
All of them constantly did their best to help others. Even giving donations to the poor when they themselves had no money.
Garen was quiet, clumsy, but protective of his friends. Mako was a gentleman who feared almost nothing. Kesia had a firey personality and loved to compete...but also had a weak spot for cats. Nasumi was the type who would even heal an enemy to end all suffering in the world...
Mori was childish, but very smart underneath her kid persona. And finally...Kronos was the apex of heroism. A true protector of the weak and destroyer of evil.
However...there was a significant problem...
Aside from continuously feeling weaker throughout all this time, I kept making mistakes. I truly didn't know my own strength...as Kronos was fond of reminding me...
And at the same time, I couldn't fight my own instinct to kill enemies on sight. It was as if something unknown took hold of me every time I went into battle.
Over and over, I got yelled at by Kronos and the others. Nasumi continued to be patient and kind with me, but the others were angry that I couldn't stop killing.
And as a result...our profits tanked...
As did our reputation...
Some began to fear us. And often, jobs were withheld from us because they wanted a more delicate touch.
And now...
As I instinctively sliced the head off a bandit and shot an exploding fireball at their wooden fort, I cursed myself inwardly.
The fireball violently exploded and set the entire fort ablaze.
"GODS DAMN IT, MIZIK!!!" Kronos yelled.
"Kesia! Put out the fires!" Mako shouted.
"Got it!" She said as she sumoned several massive runes in the sky.
The runes glowed blue and released a torrent of water to out out the flames, but...
It was too late.
By the time the fires were out, the explosion had demolished most if the fort. The only remnants of life were the charred bandit corpses and burned body parts scattered about.
"Eh...I'm sorry..." I said.
"Why? WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN!?!?" Kronos shouted as he came close.
I recoiled at his tone and looked away.
"I just...I don't know... It's instinct. I'm not sure-"
"How did this happen? How did you turn out to be such a ruthless, unfeeling, killing machine? What did you feel when you cut that guy's head off? What did you feel when you blew up that fort?"
"I...felt nothing. Actually, I think I'm more bothered by the fact that I upset everyone more than killing these people... It was similar to the feeling of...uh...stepping on a bug by accident..." I said.
"That's your problem right there. You don't value human life at all. Why don't you see that these people, while being bandits, are still humans?" Kronos asked.
I looked at the decapitated corpse laying on the ground behind me. I looked the face on his head a few feet away.
His expression was one of fear and desperation.
But...I felt nothing. I didn't even see him as another person. Just an obstacle. An enemy that had been properly dealt with.
All because...a corpse can't hurt anyone ever again.
"He was in my way?" I said.
"Damn it all, Mizik..."
"Yo Kronos, the Duke's advisor said he wanted these shitheads alive. And uh...that ain't happening..." Kesia said.
"I know, Kesia... Mizik ruined our chances of getting paid again..." Kronos said as he angrily glanced at me.
I was honestly sick of this...
Maybe I should just leave...? Obviously, I'm not cut out for this type of work... Yeah, I think I should just get lost... If I find a nice cave somewhere away from people, I'll stop being such a menace to society. Ugh...I hate myself...
"Hey Kronos..." I began.
"Yeah? What's up?"
"Do you think maybe it would be best if I just left...?"
He seemed somewhat surprised by my words. I couldn't understand why.
If all I did was cause problems, why did they want me here?
"Mizik...that won't be necessary. We can simply try harder to teach you."
"Nooo! Don't go! Please!" Nasumi said suddenly.
She ran over and hugged me.
I could see Mako twitch in annoyance at the same time. He really did have a soft spot for Nasumi... And everyone knew it except her.
"See? Even if you make mistakes, you're still part of our team. In the future...I might just have you on the sidelines until we really need your help. That way you won't make trouble for us and you get to stay."
"But is that really okay? If I don't contribute-"
"Mizik. Stop it. We'll look out for you no matter what. You don't have to do everything, okay?"
"Very well...yes sir..." I managed.
"Great. Well, we're going to make our way to Albatross city to deal with some disturbances underground."
I suddenly had an image in my mind...a painful one...
I saw a woman with pink hair lying dead on the ground in a cavern.
I swore that I recognized her...and I couldn't stop myself...
"No...please no... Please don't die..." I whimpered.
"Uhh...Mizik...?" Kronos said.
"I...what? What happened?"
I snapped to myself and saw Nasumi looking worriedly in my direction.
"You okay? You kinda started freaking out there."
"I think so..."
I couldn't remember what I was thinking about.
"Well if you can avoid losing it, I'll tell you more about this job of ours. We have a client in the capital offering to pay lots of money to us if we can go into the sewers and figure out why people keep going missing. They also want us to maintain a presence in the city as a deterrent to criminal activity for a while."
"Who is the client?" I asked.
"Don't know. They sent a letter with a royal seal and an image of a rose on it."
"..."
I couldn't help but feel like I knew something...but I didn't bother to say anything. I couldn't remember anyways...
"Fine...let's just get this over with..." I said.
"I should have been a fisherman. Maybe that life would have been far less stressful..."
"And boring. You'd bore me to death if you started doing that!"
The voice of the strange woman started speaking in my head again.
The others began sorting themselves out and Nasumi started saying prayers for the fallen bandits.
Meanwhile...I had to talk to the psychopath in my head.
"Really, who the hell are you!?"
"I still can't believe you let those fools ambush you like that! Although it wasn't as if you had a choice to go... You really hurt my feelings by forgetting."
"I asked you a question."
"You can't hear my real name. That bastard you call 'sir' is blocking me. Same with the stupid annoying little girl. Call me...Era. Yes, that sounds cool enough, right?"
"Cool...?"
"Yes! Cool! Like you! I'm your biggest fan, remember? You're so cool and awesome! You've laid waste to entire worlds in the past. Killed trillions in your conquest. They're just trying to-------------------------------------"
"Trying to what?"
"I think he's onto me. I'll be quiet now."
Before I could respond, Kronos put his arm on my shoulder.
"Hey Mizik! Try not to get lost in thought too much, okay? It could be dangerous," he said with a smile.
Something about him seemed malicious. Like he was ready to fight.
"It's dangerous to think?" I asked uncertainly.
"For troubled people such as yourself, it's best not to dwell on things, okay?"
I was starting to feel somewhat agitated. Was I not allowed to think to myself?
Besides, it wasn't as if this voice in my head was real anyway.
"Kronos...can I at least have the freedom to think? I feel like I'm being chained up recently. I'm still a human being..." I said.
He looked as if he wanted to laugh.
"You...? Human...? That's-"
"Kronos!" Nasumi said quickly.
"Ah...right..."
"Mizik, you're allowed to think as much as you like. Just be careful when fighting, okay? We don't want anyone to get hurt," she said.
I didn't respond to her, but nodded.
"Kronos, let me know when it's time to go. I'll be over by that tree..." I said.
"Yeah...sure..."
I sat down in the shade and leaned against the tree.
Moments later, I must have dozed off.