Chereads / Ded Killy, An Ork Phanphishun / Chapter 1 - Da First Part: Afta Da Drop

Ded Killy, An Ork Phanphishun

🇺🇸Jaredthefox92
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Synopsis

Chapter 1 - Da First Part: Afta Da Drop

Warboss Dakkamasta Shootaluva had just gotten out of 'Da Drops', after having a bit woozy in his stomach from all the turbulence and a bad fungus brew mixed with the unwise consumption of a nice skorched squig pie to go along side it as a hearty meal. His Boyz were still holding "Da Line" with their Shootas and Flashgitz to the best of his knowledge, but the Boss was feeling only a tad better now and wanted to show off his shiny Kustom Mega Shoota.

"Ugh, dat's da last time I eat skorched squig ta celebrate a proppa landin" the Bad Moon Warboss said to himself while moving in his massive cybork kustom mega armor as while having a nauseous episode of bad indigestion.

"I betta find how da boyz iz doin ta get me out of me slog" Dakkamasta muttered to himself while his bacteria infested stomach was still upset.

It had only been about a month since the Bad Moonz had collided their huge Rokz in an orbital raid invasion of the once rich agri-world of Dionysus, a rich and bountiful planetary treasure trove of fertile food and nourishment within the Imperium. While other Ork Klans were too busy serving Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka elsewhere, Dakkamasta thought it would be a lovely opportunity to take his fellow Badmoons on his own galactic campaign of conquest. Even better, this particular planet was actually putting up a "proppa fite"!

The 707th Siagian 'Grey Hounds' Regiment of the Astra Militarum were using their 'fancy shootas and ummie kanz' to hold off Dakkamasta's advances on the world. This however, to Dakkamasta only meant a long and fun campaign of glory and spoils to be had on this fertile world that would make an excellent planetary squig pin. Dakkamasta was curious however, who the 'ummie boss' that was marshalling the Astra Militarum forces on the world against his Boyz were. If Dakkamasta were to discover this and challenge them to a duel he would real all the prestige and respect from his Klan.

Dakkamasta would slowly stomp through Ork held lines as his abnormal amount of trained Shoota Boyz, Lootas, and Flashgitz had done something many Orks would simply find un-orky like, fortify their positions. However, Dakkamasta was a Kunnin' boss and he had a silver tongue of sorts, at least for an Ork. If da Ummiez were gonna hide behind der big shootas, why not do the same? Only until it was time Fer a WAAAGH dat iz.

"U'z gitz keep da ummiez at bay wif yer dakka. If dey get close den ya can krump em. If not let dem foot slog ovah here ta get dakka'd!" Dakkamasta commanded to his fire squad of Orks as he would wave his Kustom Mega Shoota around.

The lovely sounds of dakka, yelling, and the occasional explosion filled the air as the Warboss would grin and go towards his favorite Bunka. This Orky fortification was a salvaged Stompa E'ad and he was using it as a way to bark orders to his boyz while also having a good vantage point over the battlefield.

As he would move his massive cyborg enhanced body, he would go down a trench as swing around his favorite Shoota around. Dakkamasta would suddenly hear a sound that he quite frankly enjoyed but also knew would be 'bad' for his Boyz. It was the sound of the Emperor's Basilisk artillery hurdling through the skies and right down towards his Ork's positions!

"Incoming!" one of Dakkamasta's grot lookouts squealed out.

Now, ducking and cowering wasn't Dakkamasta's strong suit. Still he would try to weather the storm by covering his head as his Orky ears could only but relish the loud explosions being blasted at his own WAAAGH by the humans in this barrage of the Emperor's wrath. While to any other lesser and scrawny race this turn of events would be a terrifying moment to beheld as one would get shelled. To Dakkamasta he couldn't help but laugh in a maniacal manner at the awesome display of BOOM and explosions happening all around him. It was at this moment that he had to "fink Da Ummiez" for a "proppa fite". Even as they rain death all around him.

"HA HA HA! DAT'S RITE UMMIEZ! KABOOM! HA!" Dakkamasta let out while laughing so much that even his own Boyz would start chuckling while being shelled by their foes 'holy' ordinance.

Of course, this massive display of dakka would also have the negative side effects as many of his Boyz had succumbed to the shelling. Still, that was of little concern at the moment to the Warboss. After all, there's always more Orks to be literally grown and blessed by Gork and Mork when a WAAAGH! is happening. Dakkamasta would eventually be disappointed when the shelling would suddenly stop.

"Iz dat all? Oh Zog et! I wuz 'avin fun!" Dakkamasta replied to the boring silence and calm before the storm.

After several moments of quiet, and Dakkamasta looking around to see some of his Boyz being nothing more than a smear of green on the ground, curiosity would get the better of the Ork as he would slowly stomp up to the edge of the trench and peek up. To his surprise however, he would find a rather interesting sight. It seems several of the "ummie wagons und tanks" were slowly advancing towards them off in the horizon.

"Boss! Da Ummie wagon'z a komin! Wut should we'z do?" a nearby shoota boy ask.

"I'z want ya to get da tankbusta's ta leg et up e're! De'yz got some fancy wagons ta scrap and loot!" Dakkamasta ordered.

"Rite, U'z Da Boss!" the smaller shoota boy said as he nodded and would rush down the trench to relay orders to more of Dakkamasta's subordinates.

Over the horizon, a small unit of the Imperium's famous Lemen Russ battle tanks. They were of the standard battle cannon variants and were rolling into to pressure Dakkamasta's battle line. As the tanks would get into firing range, they'd begin to fire their stubbers and heavy canons at Dakkamasta's Boyz.

"Dat's one..two...uhh...I forgot da ofa numba. Zog et!" Dakkamasta muttered to himself as he would monitor their approach with his cybork implant.

"Uh Boss? Tankbusta's reportin fer duty, sir!" the Ork heard as he would slowly turn around and move back into the trench to see them saluting.

"U'z a Blood Axe, I can tell cuz U'z doin da proppa salute!" Dakkamasta replied back as he'd grin.

The tankbusta would start to reluctantly nod. It made sense, Dakkamasta was once a Blood Axe too before he gave up his 'ummie finkin dayz' and became a well established Bad Moon. Still, Dakkamasta had an eye for the finer things in life and actually understood the use of such a rag tag Klan of Orks. Unlike other more, stubborn warbosses. Dakkamasta actually relished in 'Brutal Kunnin' and using 'taktiks' to bring his foes demise.

"Yes, Boss Sir!" the Blood Axe tankbusta replied in an ironically dignified salute.

"Good lad. Now I'z want ya to uze yer ea'd and move ova der to da ruinz. Set up a ambush on da ummie wagonz and make em go KABOOM! HA HA!" Dakkamasta stated as he would relay his order while pointing his Kustom Mega Shoota at some ruins to the right of the firing Lemen Russ tanks.

"Rite Boss, we'll get Da Job dun!" the Tankbusta Boss Nob replied as he would motion for his Boyz to follow him.

"Gud! Get to et!" Dakkamasta replied as the Tankbusta squad would proceed to move out.

As the Tankbusta Boss Nob would lead his team to the frontlines. Dakkamasta would move back into the trench and head towards his personal Big'ead Boss Bunka. To where he would have a better vantage point to observe the battle and coordinate his WAAAGH much better. The Ork Warboss would slowly waddle towards a huge former head of a destroyed Gargant that was refurbished to be his own personal command bunker.