Chapter 208 - Shedding Tears

That night, in Valois...

I had taken off my uniform and changed into a shirt before taking a

broadcast call with someone.

"Fuuga has sent an envoy accepting the ceasefire," said Liscia on the

other end, looking relieved.

"I see. We can relax for now then."

She was currently with Excel, leading the main body of the Friedonian

National Defense Force that had landed on the west coast. If we'd used our

shipping capacity and the Empire's transport network to their fullest, they

would have arrived here sooner. However, though we'd announced over the

broadcast that the Friedonians were the Empire's allies, we were still a force

of more than 10,000 foreign soldiers appearing out of nowhere. The towns

and villages along their route were no doubt trembling in fear. We had to be

considerate of that, which slowed them down a little.

If Imperial citizens decided we were an enemy they had to resist, it

would lead to unnecessary casualties. In order to prevent that, we had to

send people ahead to explain the situation, calming the citizenry as we

advanced. That limited our march to a cautious speed.

"Still, I expect we'll be there sometime around tomorrow. But don't let

your guards down until then."

"Yeah. I want to see your face soon too, Liscia."

"Hee hee, thanks... Wait, now's not the time to think about me." Liscia

leveled a finger at me from the other side of the broadcast. "Souma, you

need to be with Madam Maria now... I'm sure she must feel crushed—like

you were that day."

"Yeah..."

Although we'd made it through the current crisis, Maria was staying

shut up inside her room. Her fate, and that of the Empire, rested on

negotiations between Fuuga and me. While the Empire wouldn't be

destroyed outright, they were the defeated party in a war. I couldn't even

imagine what a defeated empress like Maria must be feeling right now.

Liscia was likely worried she might try to take her own life again...

"I told her off for it, so I don't think she'll throw herself from the

balcony again..." I said.

"It's still more than one person can bear on their own. The only one who

can be with Madam Maria right now...the only one who understands the

burdens she was bearing...is you, right? You're the one who can protect her

heart."

Of course I would, I thought. I had every intention of trying to help

Maria. "But what can I do...?"

"Go and spoil her."

"Spoil...her?"

"Do whatever she wants you to. Madam Maria's been shouldering a

nation all by herself this whole time. As a fellow woman, and as a fellow

royal, I respect her. So, just...set her free. Accept her wishes, her loss, her

desire, her regrets, and her pain. As your first primary queen, you have my

permission to do whatever you have to do."

"Ha ha ha..." Liscia sure was amazing. I needed to prepare myself.

"Okay. I'm going to spoil Maria absolutely rotten."

I headed straight to Maria's room as soon as I wrapped up my talk with

Liscia. Outside Maria's door, there was one dratrooper who I'd left to guard

her, and one Imperial guard. I greeted them quickly, then stood in front of

the door, steadying my breathing before I knocked.

"Madam Maria, it's Souma. May I come in?"

"Sir Souma...? Please do," came Maria's voice from inside the room.

I opened the door and entered. My first impression: it was dark. The

candles were unlit, and there was only pale moonlight shining in through

the window. I was glad it wasn't cloudy tonight. If not for the moonlight, it

would probably have been too dark for us to have a proper conversation.

Closing the door behind me, I looked around at the expensive-looking

furniture and other decorations. Overall, the tone of the room was light and

feminine.

Maria was standing by the window. When I walked close enough that

we could see one another's expressions, she smiled faintly at me.

"...This reminds me of the time we met in Zem."

"Now that you mention it...the moon was bright that night too."

Maria chuckled. "Yes. And we made a promise under the moonlight.

That's why you're here with me now."

"I'm still not sure...it's something to be happy about though," I said with

a shrug.

◇ ◇ ◇

That day, when we first met in Zem, in exchange for the Empire's help

with the (then) Nine-Headed Dragon Archipelago Union, Maria proposed

that I promise her something in exchange. At the time, it had been

something that seemed unthinkable.

Here is what Maria said...

"If at some point in the future...the Empire looks like it may break apart,

I intend to split it without hesitation."

I was taken aback. I doubted my ears, and could say nothing in response.

Not letting my reaction stop her, Maria continued.

"Our country has grown too large. The population is too great for us to

handle. I've accepted my position as the head of the Mankind Declaration

up until today because I understood the necessity of a powerful nation as an

emotional support in the confrontation against the Demon Lord's Domain...

But now, the Kingdom of Friedonia is firmly established as a powerful

nation in the east, and Sir Fuuga's faction has been rising as well. The era in

which people relied on the Mankind Declaration to keep them going is

drawing to an end."

She shook her head.

"No, that's not it," Maria corrected herself. "It's an old, ossified system

that needs to be done away with. If all that remains in the hearts of my

Empire's people is their pride in being the head of the Mankind Declaration,

that's not a healthy place for us to be. I can't allow blood to be shed over

pride. To that end, I think I am going to begin making preparations."

Maria's eyes were filled with conviction as she spoke.

"In order to cut off the hard-liners who obsess over how the Empire was

once the greatest of all nations and want to get proactively involved in

dealing with the Demon Lord's Domain, I will slowly gather them in the

north by moving their domains there. That will make it easy for them to

separate from the Empire when they give up on me."

"You're going to make them exercise the right of self-determination?!"

"Yes. The hole in the Mankind Declaration that you taught me about, Sir

Souma. Because the declaration respects the right of cultural and racial

groups to self-determination, we have no way of stopping them from

leaving. The rules say we're not allowed to. I will have them 'take

advantage' of that."

I held my head in my hands because I realized Maria was serious about

dismantling the Empire. The breakup of a great power and the shifting

power balance among countries in the vicinity—that was sure to cause great

waves that would swallow up the nearby countries. It was guaranteed to

have an effect on our country too.

I've gotta prepare, I thought urgently.

Then, in a quiet voice, Maria said, "I have a request for you...when that

time comes."

"A request?"

"Yes. When that happens, the Mankind Declaration will be no more. The

Empire will cease to be the strongest nation, and I believe it will be difficult

for us to sustain the state on our own. Even once it comes to that...I still

want to protect those who believe in me. I want to dismantle the country,

not destroy it. So, when the time comes..."

Looking resolute, she stated her request.

"I want to form a non-secret alliance with the Kingdom."

Overcome with various thoughts, I managed to muster, "You shouldn't

say ominous things like that..."

"It's important to prepare," Maria said with a laugh.

I was surprised that there was a leader who could prepare for that sort of

thing. It gave me a new appreciation for her as the person who had

supported the dignity of that great nation all by her lonesome.

At the same time, I realized she had reached her limits and was reaching

out to me in search of salvation.

"Okay..." I said, taking her hand.

I felt both the rational desire as a king to prevent the collapse of the

Empire and its effects on my country, as well as a personal wish to save the

woman I saw in front of me. They both had the same answer, so I felt no

hesitation.

"If that time ever comes, the Kingdom will do as you wish."

"I have faith in you, Sir Souma."

That was the promise we made.

◇ ◇ ◇

"The Empire broke..." Maria said.

Hearing her, I came back to my senses.

She spoke of the breakup of the Empire like someone who was

disappointed their favorite mug got broken. But...I knew better than to

assume that the way she was talking was the same as how she felt inside.

She'd been wearing masks all this time. The mask of the empress of the

greatest nation in the world. The mask of the leader of the Mankind

Declaration and all mankind. And the mask of a saint who was kind to

everyone, yet her heart was always breaking.

No matter how she wished to be a single, ordinary person, those masks

had stalked her everywhere. At times she used them, and at times they used

her. To the point she'd forgotten what her original self was truly like.

Maria smiled softly as she continued.

"I've spent a long time preparing so this day could come. I took those

who wanted me to be a saint, those who wanted to take proactive steps

towards the Demon Lord's Domain, those who blindly worshiped me, and

concentrated them in the northern regions. I did it slowly, so they wouldn't

notice. It even included Sir Krahe, who would have given his life for me,

and Jeanne's former friend Lumiere."

I listened intently to her words.

"I made it easy to cut them loose. So that when my powers were no

longer enough, I could let go of those lands and reorganize the Empire into

something easier to rule... No, it can't be called an empire anymore. I can

finally let go of the title of empress."

With a smile that could have been read either as wryly amused or as

self-mocking, Maria put a hand over her chest.

"Still, now that it's come to this, my emotions are swelling up. Despite

wanting to cast it aside all this time, sometimes I even desired to just break

it outright. Now that it's broken though, I feel pathetic. I'm overcome by a

sense of regret I didn't expect to feel. Heh heh... I'm such a hopeless ruler."

"Madam Maria..."

I walked closer, saying her name. But she continued talking.

"Heh... The truth is, I feel terrible for getting you, the Kingdom of

Friedonia, and even the rest of the Maritime Alliance caught up in this. I'm

sorry, but I have to count on you to look after things from here. I know you

can be a healthier ruler than I was—one who the people won't turn into an

idol. So..."

"Maria!"

I grabbed her by the shoulders and looked directly into her eyes, as if to

say, "Look at me." Although she had been smiling as she spoke, she hadn't

been looking at me at all. It seemed she'd killed her heart to the point where

she couldn't see the face of the person she was talking to.

"Ow...! That hurts."

The smile that had been plastered on her face twisted with pain. I'd

finally torn that mask off her.

I squeezed harder. Her arms were so slender that even my grip—which,

despite all the training Owen had given me, was little better than a common

grunt's—was painful to her. Yet still, these slender shoulders had been

supporting the weight of a massive nation. How much of a toll must that

have taken on her heart?

"That's enough, Maria..."

Something flowed from my eyes, down my cheek. The next thing I

knew...I was crying before she had.

Maria stared at me, taken aback. Of course she would be. She was the

one who really wanted to cry, but I'd beaten her to it.

"Sir...Souma?"

"That's enough, Maria. You don't...have to hold it in anymore."

The next moment, a large tear rolled down Maria's face. She touched it,

overcome with surprise, and then looked down at her own hand.

"Ah..."

Her face, so composed before, scrunched up.

"Ah... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

She cried out loud.

Once I released my grip on her shoulders, she tried repeatedly to wipe

the tears away. But that was impossible. She gave up, and instead buried her

tear-stained face in my chest.

I gently embraced her delicate body.

◇ ◇ ◇

The day my father died, I, Maria Euphoria, became empress.

During my father's reign, the distortions in the nation caused by past

emperors' policy of expansionism had fueled unrest, leading the Gran

Chaos Empire to enter an era of decline. Father was a temperate man, so he

likely didn't mind that. However, with the emergence of the Demon Lord's

Domain, people looked to our declining Empire to become the flag-bearer

of mankind, and our authority began to recover. This led to the combined

forces of mankind launching an incursion into the Demon Lord's

Domain...and their utter defeat.

Father was grief-stricken at the thought of all those who died, and it

ruined his heart, his body, and ultimately took his life. Even so, I inherited a

massive empire. Those were dark days.

The towns were full of voices of uncertainty... Refugees driven from

their homes with nowhere to go. Those living on the border worried they

would be next. Rulers suspicious of one another. Friction with the refugees,

and my own people struggling with the poor economy.

"What'll happen now...?"

"There ain't nothing we can do. The attack on the Demon Lord's

Domain was a bust..."

"It's only gonna get worse from here on."

They all hung their heads, none of them able to see a bright future.

Those with some degree of affluence, fearing it would be taken away,

were unable to show compassion to others. That left the refugees, the poor,

and the other downtrodden of society to suffer. It was an era without hope. I

wanted to do what little I could to change that.

First, I set up the Mankind Declaration, serving as the chief signatory to

the pact, and showed the world that things were not going to get any worse

than they were. At the same time, I used my position as the empress of a

superpower to keep other countries in line, preventing wars between all the

other nations of mankind. I wanted to be the hope that would allow people

to raise their heads.

As I did all of this, the expansion of the Demon Lord's Domain led to

the pressure from monster attacks to be distributed more widely. That

created a stalemate, and the Empire and other countries began to calm

down. Then, as calm returned, they came to call me the Saint of the Empire.

While I was pleased to have become a source of hope for people, I was

hated by the Lunarian Orthodox Church as a result. Still, I had accepted

that.

Donning the mask of a peaceful ruler, I smiled at them harmoniously.

The rulers, who, despite their wariness of my country, requested our

assistance and looked for any opportunity to take advantage. The

impoverished people, longing to be saved from their miserable standard of

living. My own retainers, ossified by their pride in belonging to the greatest

country and calling for revenge against the Demon Lord's Domain... I had

to act so that all of these people would see me as a good ruler.

The only one I could show my true self to was my sister, Jeanne. I

would go to her room, sit by her bedside, and chat with her about silly

nonsense as she looked at me in exasperation.

"Jeanne...I'm tired. Can I borrow your lap as a pillow?"

"Oh, for goodness sake. And you act so dignified in front of everyone

else..."

Despite her sighs, she would always relent and let me rest my head in

her lap. Thinking back to it now...I may have been wearing a mask even

then. The mask of Jeanne's undisciplined big sister.

I acted that way to keep Jeanne from worrying, letting her see me slack

off so she would think I still had some flexibility. The truth was, I'd actually

hit my limits long ago and was only acting the way people demanded of me.

I could even play at being a lorelei. But...I had one small sliver of hope: Sir

Souma Kazuya, the hero summoned by the then Kingdom of Elfrieden.

I had offered performing the hero summoning ritual to the Kingdom as

an alternative because I knew they couldn't pay us war subsidies. I never

thought it would actually work... And I never in my wildest dreams

imagined Sir Souma would rebuild the declining Kingdom, annex the

Principality of Amidonia—albeit with Princess Roroa's help—and become

the greatest power in the east.

I had finally found someone who could shoulder the burdens of the

world with me. Souma, unlike myself, would not become anyone's ideal.

He would keep his eyes firmly set on reality, and would steadily carry out

his political vision even if he had to be cruel to do it.

From the time he appeared, little by little, I was able to show more and

more of my true self; the Maria Euphoria who was not an empress or a

saint, but an ordinary human being.

"You and him are like oil and water... It feels like you two are facing in

entirely different directions..."

Come to think of it, that's how Jeanne saw Sir Souma at first. How did I

respond? Hmmm... Oh, yes!

"But if we're both facing different directions, don't you think we could

eliminate our blind spots if we cooperate?"

That's what I said. Right, Jeanne? What I said then. What I felt at that

moment. Maybe you understand it now?

Having a king in a faraway land, one with a different perspective, who

was willing to be my trusty ally. One who'd extend his hand to me as my

country fell into ruin and I was on the verge of death. And who, even now,

was lending me his chest to lean on as my heart felt ready to tear itself in

two.

Do you see how wonderful it is to have someone like that?

"Wahhhhhhhhhh!!!"

I was now shamelessly bawling my eyes out on Sir Souma's chest.

When was the last time I could show my true feelings like this?

Souma gently embraced me as I was, stroking my back.

"I...! I—"

"Yeah..."

"I-I didn't want to just be nice to everyone!" I stammered as I sniffled.

"The truth is, I just wanted to protect those I care about—the people who

care about me! I wanted to play favorites!"

"Yeah..."

"The ones I really wanted to protect were the normal people in

town...the people struggling in their ordinary lives... The refugees driven

from their homelands... I wanted to be their hope! But if I was only kind to

those people, I was sure to meet resistance! For the people who wanted me

to liberate the Demon Lord's Domain, to show that the Empire was the

greatest nation in the world...I needed to act like I was a good ruler."

"Yeah..."

"In my heart...I didn't care about that... If people could live in peace,

that was enough for me... But I was forced to wear the mask of the serene

and powerful ruler. I...I don't want to do that anymore..."

"Yeah...I know."

Sir Souma's arms tightened around me. I was close enough now that I

could feel his heartbeat, and he most likely could feel mine too. It felt like

proof I was revealing everything to him.

Sir Souma whispered in my ear.

"The world is stronger now because of all your desperate efforts. The

Kingdom of Friedonia, the Republic of Turgis, and the Nine-Headed

Dragon Archipelago Kingdom have all come into their own. And, while I

know it's weird to say this about a person who just tried to destroy the

Empire, but Fuuga is a great man. The world won't be destroyed easily.

This isn't an era for everyone to keep their eyes downcast anymore. And the

one who led us out of those times...is you, Maria. Never doubt that."

"Yes..."

Held in Sir Souma's arms, I turned my eyes up at him.

"But I didn't do it on my own. It's because you were out there too."

"Ah ha ha... I'm honored to hear that. Well, I've got allies like Kuu and

Shabon, and family and friends who support me. Even a powerful enemy

like Fuuga. If any one of those were missing, I don't know that I could have

come this far. So..."

Sir Souma pushed away from me before placing his hand softly on my

cheek.

"There's no need for you to shoulder everything anymore. We'll carry

the burden with you."

"Sir Souma..."

"I'm powerless alone, but I have all the help I'll need; family, people,

and allies aplenty. There are lots of us to carry the world on our shoulders,

so let's take it on with a human wave attack."

"Hee hee... You're pushing it off on all of them."

Hearing the way Sir Souma talked about it finally brought a smile to my

face.

"There's nothing wrong with that. In my country, our style is to delegate

things to people we can trust to do them. So..." With his hand still on my

cheek, Souma smiled softly at me. "You can do what you want from now on

too."

Those words smashed all the masks I'd been wearing all this time.

The burden fell from my shoulders, the tension faded, and I even felt

like I was floating weightlessly in the air. I must have had a real goofy look

on my face when I was set free.

I reached out, touched Sir Souma's cheek...and pinched him.

"Ow..."

"I thought I might be dreaming."

"Don't you have to pinch your own cheek to test that?"

"I can feel pain in my own dreams."

"Yeah, I dunno then."

As we were having such a silly exchange, the tears went away.

"Is it really...okay for me to do what I want?"

"I don't see why not. I'm sure you've been repressing yourself for one

hell of a long time."

"I see..." I grinned at Souma and said, "There's something I want to do

right this second. Do you mind?"

"Mm. Sure, if it's something I can do. Liscia told me to spoil you, after

all."

"Lovely."

I grabbed Sir Souma's face hard with both my hands. As he stared at me

in surprise, I stood on my tiptoes, and...the very next moment, my lips

locked with his.

Seconds later, when our faces parted, his eyes were wide. I chuckled at

his goofy expression.

Then, as he stared at me in a daze, I told him:

"From now on, I think I'll do what I want without holding back.

So...accept me for everything that I am."

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