Today was one of those days when the sun lights up the
world with crisp, clear rays and everything feels new.
I was standing in front of the full-length mirror in my
room, locked in an inner struggle.
"…No, that's not quite right…"
I had a black Chesterfield coat in my right hand and a
black down jacket in my left, trying to decide through trial
and error which one to wear.
"This one would be the safe Hinami-style choice…but…" I
slipped on the Chesterfield.
I could wear a white sweater underneath with my black
slim-fit…what were they? Slacks. If I put the round red scarf
thing—I mean, "snood" on top of that and wore my red
socks, my easy Hinami-style outfit would be complete. The
black-and-white elements tied the whole thing together, but
the splash of red at the top and bottom made me seem
stylish enough that you'd never guess I was a born-and-bred
gamer. I'd worn that very outfit on multiple occasions and
personally experienced its effectiveness.
But…
"Three times could be pushing it…"
Yeah. This outfit Hinami chose for me is my trump card
for going out in street clothes in winter, and I've played it
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eagerly every time I had a chance this winter break. If this
was a Hydro Pump, I'd have just two PP left.
"I don't want her to think I have only one outfit…"
That wasn't fun to imagine. I'd seen Kikuchi-san twice
over break so far, and both times, I'd thrown down that
trump card without hesitating. I might be able to get away
with wearing the same clothes twice, but I bet even Kikuchisan would have some questions if I wore them a third time.
She might even change her opinion about me. I could see
her now, trying not to hurt my feelings.
In my mind, she struggled to find the words, then finally
said—
Tomozaki-kun…have you ever washed that?
"Ahhhhhhh!!"
I leaped away from the mirror, stung by her imaginary
voice. This time, it was just an emotional wound, but if
Kikuchi-san said that to me in real life, I'd instantaneously
turn into a blade of grass or something. Considering that I'd
managed to advance from a completely unsophisticated nerd
to a somewhat sophisticated nerd, it would suck if I turned
into a plant and lost all that progress.
"…So maybe this one, then?"
I put on the down jacket in my left hand. I'd bought this
without any help from Hinami.
After wearing my "mannequin clothes" enough times, I'd
gotten both a logical and an instinctive sense for how they're
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different from what I used to wear before. Lately, I'd also
been looking at the outfits posted by stylish people on a
fashion app that Hinami told me about, then trying to see
what they all had in common.
Strangely enough, that's allowed me to start seeing things
that I used to filter out because I thought stylish people lived
in another world—and now I kinda have something
resembling a personal preference.
I mean, this down jacket is the first item of clothing I ever
bought because I liked it. Well, to be more accurate, I
actually stole the idea from an outfit I liked on that app.
Come to think of it, it's basically the online version of buying
the whole mannequin.
Kikuchi-san had never seen it before. Even if I wore it
with the same slacks, the overall look should be different
enough that she wouldn't think I had only one outfit.
Without giving it much thought, I put the down jacket on
over the white sweater I'd worn with the Chesterfield coat.
"…Nice!"
The white sleeves were sticking out from the sleeves of the
jacket, which were surprisingly short given its bulky width.
I'd figured that with the pants, I'd be all black, but the white
at my wrists made for a nice contrast that seemed fairly
intentional. Since the jacket's sleeves were so short, you'd be
able to see the sweater from behind, too.
"Aha!"
Suddenly, inspiration struck, and I pulled off the red
socks I'd had on to match the snood and replaced them with
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a white pair.
I checked myself in the mirror again.
"…Oooh!"
The reflection staring back at me had on a black down
jacket, a white sweater, black slacks, and white socks, which
ended up giving me a black-and-white stripe vibe. It would
probably sound better if I knew a more style-savvy word
than stripes, but I don't—point is, I looked like one of those
guys on the app.
"It works!!" I shouted, spinning around.
I was excited about this kinda-almost-stylish version of
myself in the mirror. If my mind wasn't playing tricks on me,
I might have just discovered a new outfit.
Then I realized something. I'd always been either cribbing
off the mannequin or basing off the ones that Hinami had
designed for me—which would make this my very first
original outfit, right?
"Yooooooooo!"
I was getting all wound up now as I struck various poses
in the outfit I'd created for myself. I was, again, taking
inspiration from the app, since the models didn't usually
take their pictures just standing there like a statue. I thought
I looked pretty good, which got me even more excited.
"I did it!!"
"Shut up!!"
Suddenly, the door banged open.
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I froze in my model stance, face-to-face with my little
sister, who was very annoyed.
"…What are you doing?"
"Um…"
She looked extremely dubious—scornful, even. I looked
back at her, my weight still on my right foot and my right
hand resting on my right shoulder. Uh.
Very gradually, I unfolded myself and straightened my
body. Slowly, ever so slowly. Maybe she wouldn't notice
anything had happened.
Once I was standing upright again, I took a breath and
said solemnly, "Sorry for being so loud."
"I saw you, y'know."
"Yeah."
The attempted cover-up was a bust, and my sister was
having none of it.
"…You're such a weirdo."
With that, she shut the door in my face.
"H-hey, wait…!"
But she didn't hear me, and I was left alone in my room.
She was a year younger than me, but her words hit like a
punch to the face.
"Oof."
I was dying of embarrassment—but at the same time, the
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nuance of the word felt slightly different from when she'd
called me a weirdo in the past. The phrase when she'd called
me a weirdo in the past is very sad, but anyway, the point is
that I noticed a difference.
I used to feel powerless when she said that, or even a
sense of failure, like I was lower than her—I still did, a little
—but it wasn't as strong as before.
I checked myself again in the mirror.
"…Hmm."
Yeah, a few months ago, I couldn't have even imagined
myself looking like this.
My hair, which I'd styled this morning, was decently neat.
The smile I'd worked so hard to master was fairly natural.
My newly invented outfit was pretty stylish.
All that gave me—the character Fumiya Tomozaki, who's
living this life—a kind of confidence in my ability to raise my
stats.
And best of all—I was on my way to meet someone I
wanted to see in a place I wanted to go.
I was familiar with this feeling; nanashi would never think
he was a weak player just because he lost one game.
The results of the work I'd put in bit by bit was showing
on both the inside and the outside. That was my winrate in
life, and getting caught in an embarrassing moment by my
sister didn't make me a loser.
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And now I could see it myself.
So I stepped confidently in front of the mirror one more
time.
I struck a pose. The door banged open again.
"You're doing it again? Weirdo."
The door slammed shut, and for the second time in
several minutes, I was plunged into shame. Okay, this was
different. Two times in a row was rough. Seriously, though,
what's with her? At least knock. I dived onto my bed.
"Gahhhhhhhh!!"
Even for me, being called a weirdo twice in five minutes
sent my confidence right into the red. I buried my face in my
pillow, hoping to purge some of the embarrassment by
screaming it out. It was hopeless. I'm an embarrassment to
society.
* * *
At a few minutes to ten in the morning, I was standing in
front of the Bean Tree sculpture at Omiya Station.
In my new outfit, I awaited her arrival.
Normally, Omiya Station is packed with all kinds of
people, from students and drunks to talent scouts and girls
in crazy outfits. It has a kind of messy feeling. But today,
everyone walking through the station seemed to share the
same feeling—probably because today was New Year's Day.
Everyone had put down the baggage of the previous year
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and was getting ready to take in fresh experiences and
emotions. We were all drawing a line between past and
present and putting an end to certain intangible things in
our lives. There was something ritualistic about it. Not
exactly the most logical thing in the world, but I like the way
this day of the year feels.
It's a chance to end some things neatly, to free up a little
bit of your limited capacity so you have room for something
special and new. Like when your inventory is full and you
find mini medals— Okay, sorry, I know this is getting old,
but comparing this stuff to games is just a habit of mine by
now.
I smiled wryly at myself, and then I noticed the person I'd
been waiting for was walking toward the ticket gate.
"Tomozaki-kun."
Kikuchi-san walked toward me from the station's east
exit, wearing a green coat. It was long and had a fancylooking, slightly furry texture that suited her perfectly. I'm
fairly sure the fluffy sky-blue scarf she had on was a blend of
wool and angel feathers.
"Morning, Kikuchi-san."
"Good morning."
After our greeting, which hadn't changed one bit from
before, she stepped alongside me. I loved how easy and
natural that movement was. She wasn't unsure anymore
whether she was in the right place.
"Should we get going?"
"Yes, let's go."
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We set off, walking very close to each other—which was a
huge change from before.
It all started at the school festival; the play we put on as a
class was the catalyst for me and Kikuchi-san to start dating.
As individuals, we were basically the same people, but our
relationship had changed drastically. I was her first
boyfriend, and she was my first girlfriend.
We walked down the stairs outside the east exit and cut in
front of the bronze statue of Toto-chan the squirrel. A little
boy was leaning over the banister next to the statue,
battering Toto-chan with his hand warmer like it was a
beanbag. He stared curiously at us. I can't see Kikuchi-san's
holy aura anymore, but I bet for an innocent child, it's clear
as could be. Kikuchi-san must have felt him looking at her,
because she looked back and smiled quietly at him. He
waved at us happily.
"…He's so cute," she said, shifting her gentle gaze from
him to me. She seemed to be enjoying the moment.
"Yeah."
You're the cute one, I thought, but even the words were so
corny that I told myself not to say them. Man, her priceless
smile and those warm feelings are good omens for the year.
They've gotta be right up there with seeing the sunrise on
January 1. This really is a happy New Year. No complaints.
Kikuchi-san waved daintily at the little boy, then
continued past the front of the station with me. Hikawa
Shrine, where we were headed, was actually closer to KitaOmiya Station, but the route was simpler from Omiya. But
really, I thought walking through the Omiya neighborhood
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together like this would give a different feel to a familiar
place, so I chose that station as our meeting spot.
Good choice, I think.
Somehow, the mood was lively and calm all at once. The
time drifted by pleasantly, with no positive or negative
expectations. It reminded me of when we went to see the
fireworks. We were just walking along together, our hearts
full of warmth.
"Um…" We reached a corner, and Kikuchi-san seemed
unsure where to go next.
"It's this way." I pointed and kept walking calmly ahead.
She smiled, reassured, and strolled alongside me like she
was putting herself in my hands. She was dressed for the
weather, and her breath as she spoke was a misty white.
"Think all these people are going to the shrine for their
New Year's visit?"
"Probably," she said, giggling a little.
"Ha-ha, yeah."
The crowd swelled more as we neared Hikawa Shrine. The
flow of people naturally pushed us closer together, but I
didn't totally freak out. The cold January air cooled my very
slightly flushed cheeks.
The long road was paved with cement blocks. We passed
rows of beauty salons and vintage shops until we came to the
end of Ichinomiya Road and took the crosswalk. Then we
passed under the shrine gate, looking at the big rocks on
either side. We were now on the road leading to the main
building at Hikawa Shrine, which was arrow straight and
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probably a few hundred meters long, with three paths
running parallel between rows of trees. When you think
about it, this lengthy, wide triple road that goes right
through a residential neighborhood is fairly strange. I bet
you wouldn't see it anywhere else.
The crowd was even thicker now that we were near the
shrine, and Kikuchi-san and I were so close that our
shoulders kept bumping. Suddenly, out of sight, my fingers
brushed hers.
But it was fine. I mean, this was naturally what should
happen between us…right? Yeah, no.
"…Oh!"
"Uh, s-sorry! Ah-ha-ha!"
Overreacting to Kikuchi-san's very quiet gasp of surprise,
I withdrew my hand. Strange. We'd full-on held hands
during the school festival, but I guess now that we were back
to everyday life, we weren't up to it.
* * *
We kept heading down the tree-lined path, passed under
another shrine gate, and found ourselves in an open plaza
paved with stones and gravel.
Hikawa Shrine is one of the biggest shrines in Saitama.
I've heard that more than two million people come here
every year for their first shrine visit of the year.
There are a lot of places called Hikawa Shrine in Tokyo,
but this one in Omiya is the head shrine of them all. I guess
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that means in terms of the Shinto religion, Omiya is the
capital of Japan.
The plaza was surrounded by trees. A lively crowd jostled
inside it, as if they were trying to fill the expansive, flat gray
ground with their shoes. Boredom alternated with the sense
of breaking from routine; the crowd moved at a snail's pace,
restless.
"Wow…"
Kikuchi-san peered around her like she wasn't used to any
of this.
"You don't come to places like this much?"
She shook her head. "I always visit with my family, so…"
"Huh?"
I didn't get what she meant. She looked up at me and
smiled calmly. "Oh, I just meant that when you come for a
different reason, everything looks different."
"Oh…"
Her comment could have been embarrassing depending
on how I interpreted it, but I did sort of understand what she
meant.
"Same. Feels like I'm actually seeing everything now."
Kikuchi-san's eyes sparkled like a child's. "I know just
what you mean!"
She nodded enthusiastically, which was good to see.
"Instead of tagging along with someone else, I'm going
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where I wanna go to."
"Exactly!" She smiled innocently, and her voice rose
energetically. "It makes sense, since we chose the place and
the person we're going there with ourselves," she said,
casually as could be. I wasn't ready for that.
"Oh…uh, yeah. R-right."
When I shied away a little, she tilted her head in
confusion.
"What's the matter?"
"Um, uh, it's just…"
"Yes?"
I'm not sure how to put this, but ever since we started
dating, Kikuchi-san had started saying what she was
thinking more directly, which made me more comfortable
with her—but sometimes, I got thrown off because she
would mention things without seeming to realize the
implications.
"The person you're with…"
"Hmm? …Oh." If her cheeks were apples, they would be
ripening very quickly, and since I was standing so close, of
course it spread to me. That kind of statement is a OHKO if
you're not careful.
"Uh, yeah, so…yeah."
"Oh, um, yes…"
Once again, we'd drawn close and then stepped back, shy
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even though we were comfortable together.
"Oh, uh, look! People are lining up!"
"Oh, y-yes!"
Still, I liked our time together—even the shifting sense of
distance.
* * *
"We're next."
"Uh-huh."
Kikuchi-san and I fidgeted nervously, the shrine building
looming over us.
The couple ahead of us swung the hanging rope to ring the
bell, then brought their hands together in prayer and stood
silently for a moment before giving each other a slightly
embarrassed look and walking off to the right. They were
joking around happily about what they'd wished for.
Not long ago, I'd probably have been watching them with
a feeling even I couldn't define, somewhere between hatred
and jealousy. But not this time.
Of course, being there with Kikuchi-san was part of the
reason—but really, I think my view of dating itself had
changed.
I even thought that couple was kinda cute. Amazing how
people can change.
"Here we go!" I was a little silly about it as I took a step
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forward. I think I wanted us to have fun, or maybe I just
wanted to shake off my slightly sentimental mood. Kikuchisan smiled at me.
She stepped forward, too, and the two of us grabbed the
thick rope hanging down and clanged the bell. The sound
melted into the blue circle of sky above the trees, a little
different to my ears than when other people had rung it.
We let go of the rope, then each brought our hands
together and closed our eyes.
But what to wish for?
Every time I come to a place like this, I remember that I
don't like praying for things.
I mean, I've always tried to get what I wanted through my
own effort—usually something related to Atafami. I
completely ignored the things that didn't matter to me,
which, until I met Hinami, included "real life," and did what
I made up my mind to do. That's the type of person I was.
In my opinion, effort was the quickest way to get what I
wanted, and there was no reason to force myself to do stuff I
didn't want to do. Even now that I'm playing the game of life
and deepening my relationships with people, my
fundamental way of thinking hasn't changed.
I'm my own person. When it comes to actualizing my
choices, even choices about depending on other people,
effort is hands down the best strategy.
In which case, when it came to what to pray for—I figured
I'd better go with my old standard.
I prayed, made my wish, and opened my eyes. I shifted
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my gaze from the imposing shrine to Kikuchi-san at my left.
Her eyes were still closed and her lips pressed together. The
even line of her nose and chin were as pretty as a doll's, and
the smooth texture of her white skin brought to mind fresh
snow.
"…"
I couldn't help staring at her.
Her presence was so still, I could get lost in it. Obviously,
she was quiet because she wasn't saying anything, but I felt
like the air around her and even time itself had stopped
moving. The cold rays of the sun slanted onto her, deepening
the black of her long eyelashes.
Her eyes stayed closed for a long time. She must have
been wishing for something big. Her expression was so
earnest and beautiful.
Suddenly, her eyes opened. Startled, I quickly turned
away, then looked back. She looked at me, too, and when our
eyes met, we both smiled a little shyly. Without saying
anything, we nodded at each other.
"Um, should we go?"
"Y-yes."
That shyness was still there, weird, and hard to explain as
we slipped off to the side of the shrine. I'd definitely been
missing this vibe.
"You were praying for a long time."
"Tee-hee, I guess I was."
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Side by side, we started to stroll around the grounds of the
shrine.
To the right and left were stalls selling amulets, souvenirs,
and little bamboo rakes covered in decorations. The path
running through the center was packed with people. We
chatted as we walked.
"You finished before me, right? What did you wish for?"
"Um…what did you wish for?" I asked, instead of
answering her. Hmm, am I misusing my newfound
communication skills?
"Um…," she said, looking away awkwardly. "It's a secret."
She was blushing.
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"
"Tee-hee. I told you—it's a secret."
"Now I'm curious."
We went on talking contentedly about nothing much.
We were just the same as the couple in front of us—and
suddenly, I remembered. Oh right, I'm dating Kikuchi-san.
* * *
We were having a nice, relaxed time when I remembered
something else. This sort of peaceful time never lasted long
in the record-breakingly successful game of life as
engineered by Hinami-san.
Right. My assignment.
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I stood next to Kikuchi-san, thinking back a few days,
back to what Hinami-san had told me.
It was the end of December, and we were in an Italian
place in Kitayono. Hinami and I sat facing each other.
We'd come to the same place after I told off Erika Konno.
Hinami is crazy for the salad here. I've gotta admit, it really
is good.
"Anyway, about your winter-break exercises…"
"You're not going to slip that by me just being casual
about it. What exercises?"
Hinami sighed softly. Since I started this game, she's
never once given me an easy assignment. She always aims
for the very limit of what I'm capable of. It's why I've been
able to raise my level, but I knew this wasn't going to be
some simple little holiday training.
"Now, now, if you're going to talk like that, maybe I
should make it as hard as usual."
"What?"
"I just can't decide," she said with a smile. She was baiting
me, and I tried to ignore her because she was being so
annoying, but I was too curious.
"…Can't decide what?"
"Oh, you want to know?"
"N-not especially."
I tried to play it off, but she just said, "Is that so?" and
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smiled. Then she picked up her fork, elegantly stabbed
several pieces of salad, and eagerly shoved them in her
mouth. She was definitely doing this on purpose. Which of
course made me more curious.
"Ahhh, this is so good."
"…Yeah."
Grinning, she delicately sipped her black tea. She had a
certain childishness when she ate that wasn't visible in
Hinami the final boss. I couldn't take my eyes off her as we
talked.
"The veggies are fresh, of course, but I think the
combination of flavors and the dressing are what truly make
it delicious."
"O-oh."
"You haven't eaten much. If you don't want it, I can help
you out," she said, extending her fork in my direction.
"No thanks…I'm gonna eat."
My brain wasn't working right after the two-hit combo of
Hinami's intriguing words and her strangely attractive way
of enjoying her food, but I knew enough to defend my salad.
I mean, it really was good stuff.
"…So what were you starting to say?"
"You want to know?" She gave me a smug smile. God,
what a jerk.
"Not especially…"
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"Oh?"
I'm virtually incapable of just doing what I'm told, so my
resistance was instinctive. So she ignored me and went on
eating her salad. Damn her.
"…You said something about 'as hard as usual,' didn't
you? So that means this one is going to be easier?"
"I knew you were curious."
"Argh…"
That was all I could get out, and she was satisfied. Ready
to stop tormenting me yet?
"I was just going to mention that you could take it easy
around the New Year holiday."
"Huh?"
I hadn't expected that. She's obsessed with efficiency and
hates wasting a single second. I figured she'd say something
like The New Year is just another day a bunch of idiots
decided to make special. So her proposal surprised me.
"You sure?"
She smiled kindly and nodded. "Well, I can't let you do
absolutely nothing. I just meant that you can take a few
breaks here and there."
"I c-can?"
"Yes," she said, displaying another kindly smile. "After all,
you were able to achieve your mid-term goal with time to
spare."
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The compliment was my reward for my hard work.
"Yeah. I guess so."
A wave of happiness washed over me.
The objective she'd given me was to have a girlfriend by
the time I started my third year.
When I'd met her in June, that seemed like a completely
impossible task, but by the end of the second semester, I'd
told Kikuchi-san I liked her, and we started dating. I'd
reached my goal more than three months early.
Within six months of working at the game of life, I'd
managed to get my first girlfriend, which seemed like a
major checkpoint on the path to victory.
I was happy simply to be dating the person I liked, but I
was also feeling that primal excitement at accomplishing
something I really wanted to achieve.
Whatever game you're playing, that's always one of the
best moments.
"I do…have a girlfriend now," I said with some emotion.
"You do," Hinami said calmly and nodded.
When she looked at me, her expression was scornful.
"Why are you getting all worked up? Ugh."
"Sh-shut up! I can't help it!"
As soon as I felt my nostrils flaring in excitement, I half
expected her to say something like that, but her reaction was
mean. I had to push back at least a little.
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"Anyway, you were saying I get an easy assignment for
winter break?!" I asked, changing the subject.
Giving me a sudden smile, she finished off her salad and
looked down regretfully at the plate.
"Right. I mean, you chose her yourself, so you'll be
moving things along without me telling you, right?"
"…Move things along how?" I echoed.
"You know, hold hands, kiss, things like that," she said
casually.
"Hold hands and kiss?!"
"Keep your voice down."
"But you said…holding hands? And kiss!"
"Stop repeating yourself." She scowled at me for being
stupid, and… Yeah, I was talking like Takei now.
I was sounding as stupid as Takei now, and she glanced
down and paused for a moment like she was resetting the
mood before looking up at me again.
"But that part's not so important anyway."
"…I-it's not?"
She raised one finger and pointed at me. "What is your big
goal?"
"Um," I said. "To reach the same status as you?"
If my calculations were correct, she was probably about to
say Hexactly. She pointed at me.
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"Hexactly."
"Called it," I said, before I could stop myself.
"Called what?" She tilted her head.
"Nothing," I said, trying to avoid the topic even as I
recognized my mistake.
"Hmph. Then would you mind not interrupting me?"
"Oh, u-uh, sorry."
Somehow, even though I had predicted what she would
say, she still had control of the conversation. Very strange.
Meanwhile, she continued as if nothing had happened.
"By reaching my status, I mean when it comes to our
school. You can hold hands with Kikuchi-san or kiss her or
do whatever comes after, but that's all part of your own little
couple world. It has nothing to do with becoming a normie
in the world of school."
"Oh…that makes sense."
I was slightly unnerved by the casual way she mentioned,
"whatever comes after," but she did have a point. Even if
people talk about me because of our relationship, developing
that relationship wouldn't make me popular at school. If I
told my guy friends what was happening, all they'd do was
say that I had it going on or poke me in the ribs.
"Of course, some people consider themselves normies as
long as they've got a happy relationship, and I don't intend
to contradict them. But your goal is to rival me."
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"Yeah, you definitely don't get your status from dating."
When I thought about it, I'd never heard anyone say she
had a boyfriend, at least since second year started, yet she
still had an iron grip on her place at the top of the heap. You
don't normally see someone with that status without a
significant other.
"You're aiming for the same position. So you may have
found a comfortable spot with your girlfriend, but you can't
just sit there. You need to keep breaking new ground."
"Yeah, I get what you're saying," I said cooperatively.
"Good," she said, smiling confidently. "Your big goal is
especially useful as a guidepost at times like this when it's
hard to know how to proceed. Do you see now why it was so
important to decide those at the beginning?"
"…Yeah."
I had a girlfriend, which at first glance looked like the
finish line. I wanted to be a normie, so I got a girlfriend—
now what? If I didn't have a bigger goal in mind, I probably
wouldn't know what to do next.
But simply having that overarching idea sharpened my
thoughts. Most games have clear objectives and standards
for winning and losing, so you don't waste too much time
wandering around, but the level of freedom in this game is
too high.
"That's why I'm going to tell you what your next mid-term
goal is."
"Th-that sounds important…"
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A goal to replace the goal of getting a girlfriend. I'd come
to that major fork in the road, and now I was heading for the
next one. Guess you could call it part two of the game of life.
"It is. This one's slightly difficult, but I'd like you to
achieve it by summer."
As she spoke, she placed a small, closed notebook on the
table.
Then she slowly announced the big reveal.
"Your next mid-term goal—is to become the central figure
in a group of at least four people."
"…The central figure?"
I kind of understood what that meant, and I kind of
didn't. I couldn't quite picture what I'd need to do or how
hard it would be.
"Um, so what does that mean?"
"Well. Basically…" Hinami opened the notebook and took
out a black ballpoint pen. Our empty salad plates had been
cleared away, leaving only my iced tea and Hinami's lemon
tea. "So there are several groups in our class, right?"
"Right…"
She tapped the first page of the notebook with her pen.
"Do you know which groups there are?"
"Well…there's Nakamura's, then yours. And Konno's
gyaru group…"
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"Correct." She wrote down the groups I'd named in the
notebook. "That's what I mean by the central figure."
"What?"
That's what "what" meant?
"Need me to explain?" she asked smugly, circling the
name of each group.
Nakamura Group. Hinami Group. Konno Group.
"Ohhh…"
Gotcha.
"You mean I have to make my own group, like Nakamura
and you and Konno."
Again, I had a feeling I knew what she was about to say.
"Hexactly."
"Called it."
"Called what?"
I was starting to have an intuitive sense for when she'd
bring it out. "Nothing."
This time, I was the smug one, but I pulled myself
together and took another look at the names in the
notebook. Hinami was grumpy with me now.
Nakamura Group. Hinami Group. Konno Group.
Which meant…
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"…I gotta make the Tomozaki Group, right?"
I sensed it again.
"He— That's correct."
"Huh?"
Where'd her hexactly go? I felt like I heard her start to say
it, but…
She threw me a victorious look.
"Weird…," I mumbled.
"What?"
"…Nothing."
"If it's nothing, could you please stop interrupting me?"
She sighed reproachfully.
"S-sorry."
She was right that I'd been cutting her off with my strange
reactions all day. I should cut that out.
Hinami sharpened her gaze, apparently refocusing
herself.
"You can do it in class or in some other group. Either way,
you need to create a clique that you can confidently call the
Tomozaki Group. That's your focus from now on."
It sounded simple, and I had a clear image of the
destination I was aiming for. But with my current strength,
getting there would be difficult, and I still didn't have a
concrete idea of what I should do. Just like last time.
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I realized something. "Oh, I guess that does make sense."
"…What does?" she asked, checking her messages on her
phone, which had just buzzed.
"I was just thinking you're right that it's not very
connected to what Kikuchi-san and I do."
Hinami raised her eyebrows, and the corners of her
mouth rose, too.
"So you get it. Anyway, the point is that being a normie is
about more than romance."
"Huh…"
I recalled the assignments she'd given me.
"Now that I think about it, you even made developing
friendships with guys one of my goals."
Her assignments were like that from the start. I don't
know if she'd always been planning for this checkpoint, but
at that stage, she'd already decided on the direction I needed
to aim for.
"That's right. And now you've met your romantic goals, to
some extent. That's why moving forward, I intend to make
your assignments focus mainly on gaining skills and taking
actions that will position you as the central figure in a wider
network of people."
"Okay, I understand."
"All right, then, let's talk about your next small goal. Your
first assignment in working toward your real red-letter
event…"
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I gulped, waiting for her to go on.
"Hold hands with Fuka-chan by your third date."
"Hey, you said you'd lay off the romantic stuff!" I shot
back, confused.
Hinami just looked at me with a teasingly sadistic smile.
* * *
With that grand lead-in, she threw me an assignment that
was aimed straight at my love life. When I asked her about
it, she said she wasn't trying to lie or scare me with that
preamble—it was just that she had no other choice. We
weren't going to school over winter break, so I couldn't do
much else. She also said she definitely wasn't making my life
difficult with an anxiety-inducing assignment for her own
amusement, which I'd like to believe is at least half-true.
By the way, I'd already met with Kikuchi-san once when
she had me read the story with the changed ending, and we
hung out alone together another time after that, which made
this the third time, aka the deadline for holding hands. I had
some qualms about doing this as an assignment, but if you
asked me if that meant I didn't want to hold her hand, I
could tell you no in an instant. I mean, I wanted her to let
me hold her hand, so I decided to earnestly give it my all.
Following the flow of people, I stole a glance at Kikuchisan. I could probably grab her hand casually to make sure
we didn't get separated in the crowd—but of course, I didn't
have those skills. On the other hand, we already drew back
when our fingers brushed that one time, which made things
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even harder. But I was determined not to fail.
Oblivious to my nervousness, Kikuchi-san smiled quietly
as she observed the hustle and bustle at the stalls.
Just then—
"Hey, Tomozaki!!"
The cheerful female voice was coming from somewhere
behind us to the right. That voice was very familiar… In fact,
I was almost certain who it was.
I turned around and saw a couple.
My eyes met theirs.
"Um, hey."
I wasn't sure what to say. This guy was as grumpy and
domineering as ever.
"…Well, well, it's Farm Boy. Whaddaya doin' here?"
"Uh…visiting the shrine."
"I can see that."
"What a coincidence! So you decided to come here, too!"
Yes, that's right; we'd run into Izumi and Nakamura.
Izumi was wearing a furry white coat with a voluminous
scarf. The fabric was kind of glossy and vaguely glamorous.
Despite the cold weather, her legs were bare all the way up
to the thigh. I figured she had to be wearing some sort of
stockings, but I didn't know where I could safely look.
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Nakamura was standing next to her in a camouflage
North Face down jacket and a pair of black pants with huge
rips in the knees. It was the kind of power-plus-powerequals-super-power outfit that would make me look like an
elementary school kid but somehow made him look trendy
and hot. His face was scary as usual. But when the two of
them stood next to each other, they were an attractive pair.
Or maybe I should say a power couple.
Given that this was the biggest shrine in the area, it wasn't
surprising that we bumped into some kids from our class,
but did it have to be these two? Kikuchi-san poked her face
out from behind me and looked back and forth between the
two of them.
"H-hello."
I was surprised; I'm sure it took quite a bit of courage for
her to greet them. Nice job, Kikuchi-san—that wasn't easy! I
felt like giving her a gold star.
"Hi, Fuka-chan!"
"'Sup."
Kikuchi-san smiled slightly at their responses. Izumi
smiled back. Aww, this is nice.
"So you guys are dating!!" Izumi said, her eyes glowing
with excitement and her whole face cheerful, bright, and
childlike. She really does love to talk about relationships. I
glanced over at Kikuchi-san, who was looking at me with
obvious embarrassment. I could practically see sweat flying
from her head like Bonobono the sea otter.
I wasn't sure what to say, but I decided I had nothing to
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feel weak-kneed about.
"Yeah, we are," I said boldly.
"I knew it! You're so lucky!"
Wait, what does that mean? What's she jealous of? Does
she just say whatever seems to fit the mood?
"Why are you jealous?" I asked, smiling wryly. "Aren't you
dating Nakamura?"
"Um, yes, but…!"
"But what?"
"I hardly even feel like we're dating anymore. It's like I'm
used to it or something!"
She turned to Nakamura, who nodded and mumbled,
"Yeah."
"What the heck?"
I smiled again. They hadn't even been together that long,
but they were already acting like some couple who'd been
married for fifty years. Was that love? Or were they at the
age where they wanted to say stuff like that?
"Oh, by the way! Have you gotten your fortunes yet?"
Izumi asked suddenly.
"No, not yet."
"Then let's go get them together! We were just on our way
over there."
This was an unexpected invitation. Would that make this
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a double date? Fine by me, but how does Kikuchi-san feel
about it? I looked over at her, and our eyes met like two
master fencers sussing out each other's next move. En garde!
What is happening.
"Wait, won't it be bad luck to go with Farm Boy?"
And now Nakamura was messing with me. Hmm. Typical.
There's no reason for him to do this, but he's doing it
anyway. Better think of a comeback quick. I couldn't let
Kikuchi-san see me go down without a fight.
"No way, it'll be good luck."
I ended up just saying the opposite, but I think it was
better than nothing. I should probably brainstorm responses
to stuff like this beforehand.
"Ha-ha, you wish," Nakamura said, casually brushing me
off.
"I'm serious! I challenge you to a battle of luck."
"Bring it on!"
A fortune competition was pretty dumb, but Nakamura
hates to lose and instantly latched on to it. He's so
predictable. Honestly, I could possibly fight off all his
attempts to mess with me with this same strategy. He
wrapped his arm around my neck and steered me toward the
window selling fortunes.
"Ah-ha-ha. Guys are such kids, aren't they?"
"Tee-hee, I know!"
Izumi and Kikuchi-san walked along side by side, talking
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quietly. That's good; I'm glad they're making friends.
* * *
"I win. You're no match for me."
"Come on. I clearly won."
Nakamura and I were bickering like preschoolers.
The reason we were still both insisting we'd won even
after picking our fortunes was simple.
I got "Luck is yours," and he got "You're in luck." What
the heck? Sometimes, confusing shit like this happens when
you choose a New Year's fortune.
"It doesn't even matter!"
"Tee-hee, it really doesn't."
Izumi and Kikuchi-san exchanged exasperated smiles as
they watched us. They seemed to be getting along well.
Occasionally, Izumi acts older than her age, and I actually
feel like she and Nakamura aren't such a bad match. But I
was in a battle now, and I really didn't want to lose. It was
kind of like Nakamura and I were two kids and they were
our parents.
I shoved the slip of paper my fortune was written on
under Nakamura's nose.
"Look, 'luck' comes first on mine. I win, see?"
"The hell are you on? 'Luck is yours'? I've never even
heard of that fortune before, so that means I win. Bam!"
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"And nobody's ever seen a 'You're in luck.'"
"What did you just say?"
"Nothing…"
I was starting to crack under the fear, but I'd managed to
hold my own. Impressive, huh?
"Oh, geez, you guys!! It's a tie, okay?!"
Thanks to our all-powerful referee Izumi and her
emotion-based decision, my victory was postponed until our
next encounter.
"A tie with Farm Boy? Dammit, come on."
"My feelings exactly. Next time, I'll kick your ass so bad,
you won't be able to argue."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing…"
"Y-you're going to do this again…?"
The battle over for now, the four of us walked farther into
the shrine grounds.
We were around the center of the Hikawa Shrine complex.
Underneath a broad roof was a large stone basin where
some apparently sacred water bubbled up. We stood side by
side scooping up the water with a ladle and taking turns
drinking it. That naturally cool water seemed cooler than the
mineral water I always grab out of the fridge, although I
couldn't say for sure if it really was.
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For some reason, Nakamura, who usually rebelled against
everything, performed this Japanese custom quite solemnly.
It was kind of heartwarming. I bet it really stirred up Izumi's
maternal instincts, too.
"Man, that's cold! It's making my teeth hurt!"
"You need to brush more."
"What?! I do brush them! It's not a cavity—they're just
sensitive!"
Kikuchi-san and I exchanged glances and smiled furtively
at this little lovers' quarrel. We didn't get to see them acting
like a couple very often at school, so it was entertaining.
As I set the ladle back in its place, I realized something. It
was all well and good that Izumi and Kikuchi-san were
becoming friends while Nakamura and me had our stupid
arguments, but—
—as long as the four of us were together, wasn't holding
Kikuchi-san's hand going to be even harder?
I mean, if I suddenly took her hand in front of everyone, it
would be like PDA, and also, holding hands for the first time
around other people felt meaningless. By the way, I googled
holding hands first time the other day, and according to the
Internet, the key is to just do it, like it's completely natural.
Needless to say, that would be impossible in front of
Nakamura and Izumi.
As I racked my brain over this impossible problem, the
four of us continued walking toward the back of the grounds.
This place sure is big.
Just then, Izumi pointed to one of the stalls.
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"Look, Shuji! Isn't that cute?!"
She grabbed his arm as she gestured to a maneki-neko cat
keychain.
"What is?"
"This one!"
They looked at the display and continued their
conversation, although I couldn't make it out.
But just now, what she did? Linking arms with him for a
second like it was totally normal? It didn't feel weird at all—
more like the natural thing for a couple to do. Here I was
struggling over it, and she'd done it so casually. Natural
normie.
In which case…I guess my only option was to follow her
lead. I'd just gotten an up close lesson in how to do it, and
you've gotta strike while the iron's hot, as they say.
I took a deep breath and glanced at Kikuchi-san's white
fingers. She was smiling, watching the happy couple with
her beautiful straight-as-an-arrow gaze. Her sleeves were
pulled partially over her hands—maybe they were cold?—
and the glimpse of her pale-peach nails gave off an attractive
aura of delicacy blended with sanctity.
"Buy me one, Shuji!"
"Buy one yourself!"
"These only mean anything if it's a present. I'll buy you
one, too."
"Oh, fine, fine."
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He sure gave in quick, I thought, smiling to myself.
Kikuchi-san giggled, too, and then maybe because she
noticed my smile, she turned and locked eyes with me. It felt
good, the way we understood each other without saying
anything. U-uh, is this my chance?
I was super nervous, but action was my only choice. The
mood felt right, and Izumi and Nakamura were distracted.
The planets were in alignment. When you know your enemy
is about to counter, a gamer unleashes maximum firepower.
I got ready to say the line I'd come up with for a crowded
situation (I'd mentally rehearsed a bunch of potential
scenarios), summoned my resolve, and reached out.
"Kikuchi-san…oh…"
My strategy had been to say, Watch out, grab her hand,
and then keep holding it, but…
…I had to reach my hand out while saying the line, so I
hadn't looked around first. And the instant I was about to
warn her, I realized something.
Not a single person was walking toward her.
"…"
I abruptly stopped after saying her name. I could have
recovered easily enough, since all I did was start talking to
her.
But my hand did not do me the favor of stopping.
"…Uh…"
After all my effort to get it moving, my hand continued
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along its original trajectory and followed the original plan.
My fingers twined around her cold, white fingers.
But unlike my original strategy, the only words that came
out of my mouth were "Kikuchi-san."
The meaning of this was simple.
I abruptly said Kikuchi-san's name, then grabbed her
hand.
Predictably, this confused her. Although we'd held hands
when we talked after the class play, the moment called for it
back then. But this time, we were out in the open and right
in front of Namakura and Izumi. We had other options. I
was the one who'd reached for her hand, and I was super
shocked myself. It had to be so much worse for her. And in
fact, despite what was happening, she'd frozen stock-still.
But if I let go of her hand now, I felt like it would come off as
skeezy, so I stubbornly held on.
We were surrounded by people, but no one was paying
attention to us. A few moments passed by, just for us.
We spent those hidden moments in this oddly private
space.
"…Ah!"
"Uh, um…sh-should we buy one of those, too?"
Kikuchi-san had made only the tiniest of sounds, but like
an overblown balloon popping, I let go of her hand and
hurried toward the stall where Nakamura and Izumi were
browsing.
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"Oh, um, y-yes, let's!"
"O-okay, let's!"
All the air rushed out of my lungs as we tried to ignore
what just happened. We walked up behind them, scanning
the goods on display.
"Hey! Are you guys gonna buy some of these, too?"
Izumi held up one of the miniature cat keychains between
her fingers.
"…Um…"
I thought for a second. That particular cat key chain was
what Nakamura and Izumi had picked out as a matching
couple item. Even if we were going to buy something here,
choosing the same thing as them felt a little insensitive.
"Oh, no…we were thinking of getting something else."
"You were? Okay!"
Izumi gave us a smile that conveyed no ulterior motives.
Hmm. I'd abruptly taken Kikuchi-san's hand, and now we
were about to buy matching tchotchkes. I'd hardly had time
to process the fact that we just held hands secretly for twenty
or thirty seconds, and the next instant, we were buying
something together. This rom-com was packing a lot into its
timeslot, that's for sure.
"…D-do you like any of these?"
"Uh, um…"
Kikuchi-san seemed equally surprised by the high drama.
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I mean, so was I, and I was the one who'd spoken first. But
despite it, I decided to play it cool and act all like This is
what dating's about. Besides, that's what Mizusawa would
probably do.
I glanced over the items hanging from the rack,
wondering if I could afford any of them except the one Izumi
had already chosen. And that's how I realized I didn't
actually know what Kikuchi-san's taste in this stuff was.
"Which ones do you like?" I asked offhandedly.
"Oh… This is nice," she answered, picking up one of the
amulets with a cute retro-style picture of a cat on it. She
went to it like a magnet. "…It's so cute."
"Yeah, it is." All right, let's do this. "Let me see it."
"Sure."
Taking it from her, I walked over to the elderly woman
running the stall. "I'd like to buy this, please."
"That will be six hundred yen."
"All right."
With that, I swiftly paid with my own money. Kikuchi-san
hurriedly pulled her coin purse out of her bag, but I ignored
her, finished buying it, and handed the amulet to her.
"Here you go."
"Um, but the money…"
When she tried to pay me back, I copied Izumi's strategy.
"Don't worry about it. Just buy me one of the same… Uh, I
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know I'm copying Izumi," I said shyly.
Kikuchi-san smiled happily, quickly picked another one of
the amulets from the rack, and trotted with it over to the
cash register. Um, it's okay, you can calm down…
"H-here…!"
For some reason, she was out of breath when she
returned, holding the same amulet in a different color.
"…Thanks."
"S-sure…"
We weren't used to this kind of conversation.
Um, yeah. Right now, Fumiya Tomozaki is very happy.
* * *
The four of us were walking toward the gate leading out of
the shrine.
"This sure is an unusual combination…"
Looking around our group, I intentionally brought up a
new topic.
"Ah-ha-ha, I know! I feel like this is the first time I really
talked to Fuka-chan! I didn't get much of a chance to take
part in the play!"
"Yeah, you were doing committee shit the whole time,"
said Nakamura.
"Exactly! I hope we can hang out more in the future,
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Fuka-chan!" Izumi grinned at Kikuchi-san, who smiled back
at her.
"Me too, Yuzu-chan."
"Yay!"
They were getting along great, and it warmed my heart to
hear Kikuchi-san calling Izumi "Yuzu-chan." You got this!
"What are you smiling like a girl for?"
"Huh?"
And Nakamura was messing with me again. But I was
used to it by now. Don't think you can get away scot-free,
dude.
"'Like a girl'? I'm just smiling."
"Whatever. I'm asking why."
A decent comeback, but he underestimated me. I actually
had a reason.
"It's so great to see Izumi and Kikuchi-san getting along."
"Oh, that," he said, like that explained everything. "…
Kikuchi seems different now."
"What do you mean?" I asked—although it made me really
uncomfortable to hear Kikuchi-san's name without the san.
Nakamura was watching the two girls. "It's easier to talk
to her. Or something."
"…Uh-huh."
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I couldn't help breaking into a smile again. Nakamura
looked at me.
"C'mon, seriously, what's with the girly smile."
"It's a completely normal smile."
"What's the difference?" He guffawed, then looked in
front of him again.
Kikuchi-san was talking to Izumi in a sort of gentle cloud.
"Guess that's what happens when a girl gets a guy,"
Nakamura said in a mocking tone before grinning.
"…Nope." I wasn't gonna give him this one.
"Huh?"
"It's not about getting a boyfriend as much as…"
"What? Spit it out."
I told it to him straight, just as it occurred to me. "She
wanted to change, so she changed."
"…That so?"
He looked down at his phone, and we were silent for a few
seconds. Then he turned to me and gave me a smile that
asserted his dominance.
"Nice," he said curtly, but I couldn't tell if there was
emotion in his voice or not.
As usual, he gave no sign that this had affected him in any
way. But I didn't think he meant any harm.
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"Yeah," I said, matching his casual disinterest. "It really is
great."
I smiled at him, trying as hard as I could to display my
own power.
* * *
"I went with getting into my first-choice school."
"That's so typical, Shuji!"
"What's wrong with that?"
The four of us walked under the torii gate, leaving the
grounds of Hikawa Shrine. Okay, technically speaking, the
grounds also cover the few hundred meters of road outside
the gate, but for most of the year, it's just an ordinary road,
so it doesn't feel like part of the shrine.
"Well, it is test season," I said, nodding.
We were talking about what we'd wished for when we
prayed at the shrine. I was joining in, although I was
nervous about what I'd say when it was my turn.
"If I'm so typical, what did you wish for, Yuzu?"
"Who? Me?"
"I just said your name; who else would I be talking to?"
"Um, I can't remember… World peace?"
"Liar."
Izumi was blushing a little and obviously trying to hide
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her real wish. I wondered for a second what it might be
before realizing that even I could guess this one. They'd been
dating for a couple of months now and were in full loveydovey mode, plus she'd blushed when Nakamura asked her,
which probably meant—
"Leave me alone! What about you, Tomozaki?!"
"Me?"
"Yes, you! I just said your name, so who else would I be
talking to?"
"This sounds familiar."
"Shut up!"
There was too much pressure to answer, and I caved. That
kind of core emotional strength is a normie feature.
"Um, I…"
I wasn't sure what to do. Not like I couldn't say my wish,
but it was totally boring…
"Tell us!"
Izumi turned up the pressure on me, even though she was
just getting the spotlight off herself. Very sly.
"Y-you probably wouldn't be interested."
Nakamura seemed to be getting annoyed at my
floundering.
"Who cares; it's not like we expect much in the first
place."
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"W-well…"
"The longer you put it off, the harder it'll be to say it."
"G-guess you're right…"
I'd be forced to say it anyway, so the sooner the better.
With all this weird attention on me, it was already getting
harder to throw it out there. Kikuchi-san was acting slightly
expectant, and I didn't want to let her down.
So I decided to be honest about what I'd wished for at the
shrine.
"I…wished that I'd get back as much as I put in."
Nakamura and Izumi both gave me a confused look.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.
"Does that even count as a wish?" she asked.
"Um, well…"
She did have a point. Why did I have to be so practical
even when I was praying to the gods? I mean, it was kinda
like wishing for results without heavenly intervention. If you
want to call that pointless, I can't argue with you.
But as a gamer, I can't help thinking that my progress
should come from my own effort. I don't like it when anyone
else interferes, whether it's a god or my next-door neighbor.
They might end up improving my results, but I don't need
improvements that come from depending on others.
"Even if my prayers made me successful, it would be
meaningless…"
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I tried to put it in simple words, but Nakamura just stared
at me.
"…Hmph." He snorted, before suddenly smiling
pleasantly. "That does sound like something you'd say."
"Right?"
He even sounded a little friendly. Like he was starting to
understand me slightly as a person. It made me happy to
hear those words come out of his mouth.
"Yeah, it's a very Tomozaki-like wish," Izumi added.
"I agree. Very much like him."
"You too, Kikuchi-san…?"
I had mixed feelings about them all ganging up on me
now. Was I that transparent?
"So what about you, Fuka-chan?!"
The flow of the conversation shifted toward Kikuchi-san.
This was good, since I'd been wondering myself. When we
were alone, she'd dodged the question.
"Y-you're asking me…?"
"Yeah, I'm curious, too. You seem like the type who
doesn't want anything."
"I do…?"
This was rare, Nakamura and Kikuchi-san having a
genuine conversation. I waited to see what would happen.
Sorry, but just this once, I was on Nakamura's side.
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"I get you. I'm wondering, too."
"T-Tomozaki-kun…?!"
Kikuchi-san turned her head toward me, her eyes moist.
Oh no, should I get back on her team…?
"Um…"
"What? Tell us!"
"Can't I say it's a s-secret?"
"Come on, just tell us!"
"Um, well…"
Izumi's cheerful but persistent persuasion was gradually
breaking down Kikuchi-san's defenses. And her face was
getting steadily redder… Um, what? Redder? Which
means…?
I thought back to a couple of minutes earlier. Nakamura
had asked Izumi what she wished for, and she'd blushed just
like Kikuchi-san. In the end, she hadn't revealed her wish,
but it probably had something to do with romance. Like, I
wish Nakamura and I blah-blah-blah. At least, that was my
guess.
And now…just like Izumi, Kikuchi-san was blushing at the
same question. Hmm? Hmmmm?
Oh, just a second now, there's no way…, my logical mind
was saying, but all the same, my instincts were having an
undeniable premonition. I glanced at Kikuchi-san. Her face
was beet red, and she had the watery eyes of a damsel truly
in distress. The instant our eyes met, I looked away. What
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was going on?
"Fuka-chan…"
Izumi was hanging on Kikuchi-san's shoulder pleadingly,
like some kind of honest, friendly cat. I doubt anyone could
resist her very long.
"Uh, um…"
"Won't you tell me? Please?"
"Um, well…all right." Kikuchi-san had accepted her fate.
"Ooh! I knew you would!"
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"Um, are you sure you're okay with that…?" I asked her.
She gave me a determined look and nodded. "I th-think
you might have already guessed, but…"
"Uh-huh…"
My heart pounded in my chest. S-seriously? If my hunch
was right, was it really okay to say here? It would be super
embarrassing, but I guess she was ready for that. Really?
"A-actually…"
"What?!"
Izumi was the chorus whipping up excitement. There was
no going back. I closed my eyes tight and prepared to hold
steady no matter what happened next.
"…I wished that the novel I'm writing right now wins a
prize!"
A beat.
My heart deflated, while Izumi and Nakamura latched on
with avid interest.
"Ooh, I didn't know you were so ambitious!"
"Kikuchi's writing a novel? Well, that's not a surprise—
that play was pretty good."
"Ah… Ah-ha-ha, I knew it…"
I was the only one anxiously trying to bluff. What was I
thinking, "something to do with romance"? I was way off.
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Hoping my mortifying mistake wouldn't be discovered, I
pretended to have already guessed the truth, but Kikuchisan just glanced at me and blushed a brighter red.
"I-it's so embarrassing," she whispered.
I knew exactly how she felt. But I didn't think what she
said was embarrassing at all. And I had a good reason for
that.
So this was what I said, with an almost unnatural level of
confidence:
"Kikuchi-san, that's not embarrassing at all."
"I-it's not?"
"Nope, definitely not."
Why? Because I was a hundred times more embarrassed
than her right now.
* * *
After the four of us left Hikawa Shrine, we parted ways in
pairs. Kikuchi-san and I headed to a café in Omiya.
The double date with Nakamura and Izumi was fairly fun,
but wave after wave of drama had left me exhausted. It was a
relief to sit together drinking hot cups of tea.
"I didn't realize you were writing something to submit for
the new author awards!"
"Um…actually, yes, I am."
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She looked down shyly at her plate of omurice. The
gesture was so dignified and moving, I could hardly bear to
watch. (Also, Kikuchi-san really likes omurice.)
"I was thinking…I'd submit it to some competitions."
"That's great!"
I tried to react positively without skipping a beat, since
she sounded more unsure. I bet she was super nervous to tell
me about this, and I wanted to minimize the amount of time
she had to spend feeling anxious.
"D-do you really think so?"
"Oh yeah, for sure. It's a great idea."
"I'm not sure…"
"Oh, it's definitely great. Um…yeah, it's great."
I felt like I was beating her over the head with the word
great now, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't have a
lot of dynamic strength in this area, so coming up with a
reason why it was great on the spot was way too hard.
Sometimes, my habit of saying what I'm thinking leads to
this problem.
"Hmm…it's great you think so."
Nevertheless, Kikuchi-san seemed to take my words
seriously, even kind of echo them. We understood each other
so well. If I got too used to this, my vocabulary might take a
dive. But when I was with Kikuchi-san, it was fine.
"I'm still just trying to see what I can do, so I don't know
how it will turn out…but I'll do the best I can."
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"Yeah, go for it!"
"I will," she said, glancing down. "It's like I…"
"What?"
She touched the small gold necklace around her neck
lightly. "Thanks to you, I've been able to try out lots of new
things… It makes me so happy."
"Really…?" I said, nodding and looking her in the eye.
"But that's all thanks to your own effort."
"…I wonder." She seemed vaguely worried. "It's like you
have a strange power to motivate me."
"Ah-ha-ha, I definitely don't think that's a thing."
"I think it is," she said a little sullenly, glaring at me with
an injured look.
Her expression and eyes were not even slightly
threatening. I felt a wave of affection for her surge up inside
me.
"Ha-ha. Okay, I'm sorry."
"…Why are you laughing?" She pouted.
This time, her glare was a little shy. She still wasn't the
least bit threatening—in fact, glaring seemed so new to her
that she was struggling.
I nodded firmly and grinned. "When it's done, I hope
you'll let me read it."
She broke into a sunny smile. "Of course!"
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Her way of talking to me was more natural now. We were
growing closer.
It was strange, the way nervousness coexisted with this
warm feeling like sitting in a patch of sun.
From the bottom of my heart, I was happy she was my
girlfriend.