It was forty minutes before school started. I'd given myself time to spare,
since I didn't know exactly where Sewing Room #2 was, but I found it more
easily than I expected and got there ten minutes early.
The room had an old-fashioned feel to it, and the blackboard's claim that
it was October 26 on an early summer day made it feel like some kind of
abandoned ruins, but in a good way. The dust swirling busily through the rays
of sunlight made the atmosphere almost magical. The sewing machines lined
up at even intervals near the windows seemed to be last decade's model,
which gave the room a modern feel, contrary to what you'd expect. The
ceramic surface must have been white once, but now they were yellowed
from the sun, and something about the color evoked a brief feeling of
nostalgia.
As I was soaking up the quiet morning, Hinami came in.
"Good morning, Tomozaki-kun. Today's the big day one, huh?"
"Uh, yeah."
"The atmosphere in here's kinda neat, don't you think?" She looked
around.
"Uh, um, yeah. It's not bad. Kinda feels like ruins."
"Wow, you get it. You've got good taste. I wanted to choose somewhere
good since we'll be coming here a lot," she explained, sitting down. "The
chairs are uncomfortable, though."
She smiled. I sat down opposite her on one of the rickety stools. She was
right—it wasn't very comfortable.
"I don't mind that. I actually like retro games and board games."
"Really? I'd love to play you some time."
"With pleasure. If you think Atafami's all I'm good at, you're in for a
nasty surprise."
"Ha-ha, I don't think that… But you might be the one in for a surprise."
For an instant, we had a clash of pride as nanashi and NO NAME.
"Anyway…what's on the agenda for today?"
"…Right. Let's get down to business. For now, in order to reach your first
small goal, just keep up the mask strength training… And for your medium
goal, I'd like to start testing the waters."
"And that medium goal is…finding a girlfriend…"
Honestly speaking, it still didn't feel real.
"How do you manage to be so obnoxious even with a mask on? Must be
your own special gift."
"That's none of your business."
"Anyway, it's clear what today's assignment should be."
"Uh-oh…" Gulp.
"…Today, your job is to talk to at least three girls at school."
Um… "Well, that sounds easy… But I'm starting field practice already?"
So far, the only thing I'd done was train my facial muscles, and I'd barely
started that.
"Did you have a question?"
"No, I mean, isn't it a little soon? Nothing about me has changed, yet,
so…"
I could understand talking to girls once I'd practiced talking in general or
finished my face training, but if I did it now, wouldn't they just call me a
creep?
"I understand your concern. But this is necessary right now, so just do it."
"Well…okay." I'd already decided that if I was going to do this, I'd obey
her completely.
"There are a couple of important points you need to watch out for,
though."
"Important points?"
"Yep. First is what you talk about, and I have some guidelines for that."
"Like what?"
"It's gotta be something like, 'I've got a cold and I ran out of tissues;
could I have one of yours if you have any?' Doesn't matter if it's tissues or
something else, but the cold should be your icebreaker."
"So anything goes as long as I start with the cold?"
"Right. When you talk to someone you've never talked to before, you
need an immediately visible reason, or else they'll be wary of you. Especially
if you're at the bottom of the class hierarchy. They'll wonder why you're
suddenly talking to them. It's not a problem if you can strike up a naturalsounding conversation, but knowing you, you'd probably say something
weird. Since they'll see your mask right away, it's perfectly normal to say
you have a cold."
She did insult me in the middle of her little explanation, but it was still
convincing.
"Worst case, if you screw it up by acting creepy and the girl backs off,
you can fix it later. She'll probably blame it on the cold and change her
opinion of you, right?"
"R-right…"
She'd even considered the possibility of a pathetic failure. Thank you very
much. I'll probably need that.
"There's one more thing to be careful about. Make sure you talk to them
when I'm nearby."
"Why do you have to be nearby? Is that because you want to make sure I
actually talk to three girls?"
"Uh…well, pretty much." She was surprisingly strict.
"Okay."
"Good answer."
"Oh, do you think I'll even have three chances to naturally talk to a girl
while you're nearby?"
"Definitely. You can talk to Yuzu before homeroom because she sits next
to you. Yuzu Izumi. Then there's Mimimi in home ec, when we change
classrooms—Minami Nanami, I mean. You won't have to go out of your way
to talk to ther."
"…You really remember who I sit next to."
"Oh, I always memorize where everyone sits when we get new seating
arrangements."
Weird. But impressive. She's right that I should have time to talk to those
two if I make an effort… But…
"…What about number three?"
"Can't you take a little initiative during lunch or something?"
"Oh right."
This was gonna be hard.
Our strategy meeting ended on that note, and I returned to our classroom a
couple of minutes after Hinami. That was when I realized it was now or never
for me to carry out my assignment of talking to Yuzu Izumi. I am not
emotionally prepared for this. Whoo boy.
I mean, think about it. Yuzu Izumi, of all people? She was one of the
"cool kids." She wasn't the boss or anything, but she was cheerful and loud
and laughed a lot—the bright and happy type. Some days she wore a necktie,
which was also proof of her coolness.
Here at Sekitomo High School, girls can wear either a ribbon or a necktie,
but there seems to be an unspoken understanding passed down from year to
year that unpopular girls are not allowed to wear the neckties. Yuzu Izumi
apparently doesn't care which she wears and switches back and forth
whenever she feels like it, which suggests she's fairly comfortable in her
position.
By the way, our school's very modern attitude toward the dress code is
popular with the students, but some people think it's stupid to be out here
flexing in the middle of our rice fields. Such is the fate of Saitama.
Well, anyway. Yuzu Izumi wears her skirt short, and whether she's going
for the ribbon or the tie that day, she ties it loose and pairs it with a bright
cardigan. She's like a model cool girl. The kind of girl rumored to flirt with
all the boys. She's got big boobs, too. She's neat and tidy and cute, which
makes her less intimidating, but still, I was supposed to say something to
Yuzu Izumi out of the blue? It would be impossible without a cold for an
excuse, definitely.
When I got to my seat, Yuzu Izumi was digging through her bag like she
was looking for something. Once she found it, she would probably get up and
go over by the window to join the group of cool kids hanging out there. That
meant now was my only chance. Hinami was in sight, too… Here I go. Hope
this goes okay!
"Um, e-excuse me, Izumi-san, uh…"
"Huh? Oh, Tomozaki-kun? You need something?"
To no one's surprise, she looked a little confused by the fact that I'd
spoken to her. Still, I could sense how bright and cheery she was just from
the perky way she turned toward me. The little gap between her buttons gave
me a glimpse of her boobs. The buttons were under stress from her large
chest, and taut horizontal wrinkles had formed between them and her armpits.
In other words, her top was so tight I couldn't help picturing the curvature of
her boobs. They were huge. Why did normie girls always wear such tight
shirts? Did they buy them a size too small on purpose? I wish they wouldn't,
because I can't stop looking.
"Uh, um, do you have a tissue? I have a cold, but I forgot mine…"
I was trying to act sick, struggling desperately to avoid looking at her
chest, and training my grin under the mask, so I have no idea what my voice
sounded like.
"Oh, um, wait a second… Oh sorry, I don't have any!"
She brought her palms together in an apologetic pose. The way she
pressed her arms in made her big chest even more pronounced. Not looking,
not looking. But she'd answered casually, like a regular "Oops!" to someone
in her cool group. She'd treated me more like an ordinary human being than
I'd expected. That was a relief.
"Oh, okay. Sorry, it's okay."
Even as the words left my mouth, I was thinking, What am I saying?
"Sorry, it's okay"?
A second later, Yuzu Izumi swiveled around to the seat behind her and
did something surprising. "Hey, got a tissue?"
Whoa, that was unexpected. Very unexpected. Her reflexes when it came
to interpersonal relationships were incredible. I mean, look how she
instinctively asked another person for a tissue. Was I ready for this?
"Yes, I do… Please, help yourself…," the girl replied gently, then
immediately offered a packet of tissues. It was all happening so fast. Did she
keep a pack of tissues constantly at the ready on her desk or something?
Um, that's Fuka Kikuchi-san, right?
I could give a quick, generic description like "artsy type with fair skin and
short black hair," but that wouldn't do justice to her unique, sensitive aura
and fairylike presence. One glance was enough to know she was beautiful.
She had a habit of looking down, which highlighted her long eyelashes. For
some reason, she used formal, polite language even with her classmates.
"Thanks! Here you go."
Yuzu Izumi cheerfully took the tissues from Kikuchi-san and held them
out to me.
"Th-thanks."
I threw a quick glance at each of them in turn to express my gratitude.
That was all the sincerity I was capable of.
Yuzu Izumi must have found what she'd been looking for while she was
searching for the tissues. She picked up a small hand mirror, stood up, threw
me a quick "Bye," and walked over to her friends.
That left me suddenly face-to-face with Kikuchi-san. I still hadn't blown
my nose. Since she'd handed me the whole packet, I wouldn't be free until I
blew my nose and gave the rest back.
Kikuchi-san was looking absently in my direction, apparently because she
didn't have anything else to look at. This was oddly awkward. I wanted to
just pretend to blow my nose and return the tissues as quickly as possible, but
her look was so odd—absent-minded, maybe, but also strong. Her black eyes
glittered strangely, like treasures in a dense jungle.
I'd sat down sideways in my chair, which meant that when I blew my
nose Kikuchi-san's glittering eyes would take in the whole thing. But turning
to face forward would be awkward, too, since it could seem overly deliberate.
I decided to stay where I was, pull the mask away, and blow my nose.
Kikuchi-san probably felt like looking away would imply something, so she
absently watched me blowing my nose with her mysterious eyes. What is
going on? A minor drama born of our unwillingness to move.
After the deed was done, I looked at Kikuchi-san. She shifted her gaze
away slightly.
"…Um, thanks."
"…You're welcome."
If you'd only seen this part of the interaction, you'd think we were a
happy, innocent pair of kids. After me blowing my nose, not so much. I
solemnly handed back the packet of tissues, then went to throw away the one
I'd used and returned to my seat. Mission accomplished. I was wondering if I
would be able to count this as talking to two girls when…
"Tomozaki-kun."
"Ah!"
I was startled by Kikuchi-san's clear voice, which felt like a breeze
blowing down my ear and hitting my brain.
"Wh-what?"
"Um…"
Had I done something wrong? She seemed extremely dubious.
"Um…I wanted to ask you…"
"Yeah…?"
"Um…why…"
Why what…?
"Why…were you smiling?"
Ha-ha-ha… Shit.
In the end, I managed to save myself with some incoherent answer about
my teeth hurting, which made me pull my lips back into something that
looked like a smile, but Kikuchi-san's frown when she had asked the question
and the confusion in her eyes made me think I probably didn't convince her
of anything.
When I glanced at Hinami to see what she thought of this little exchange,
she gave a dramatic sigh. Yup, I screwed that one up. Kikuchi-san thinks I'm
a creep. Still, details aside, I'd fulfilled the basic requirements of the
assignment. All I could do was view this as a big step forward and consider
how to do better next time.
Next up was fourth-period home ec. Once again, I was a nervous wreck.
Now I had to talk to Minami Nanami, who goes by Mimimi or Nanana. She
got both nicknames because her whole name only uses two different
syllables. Apparently, she mostly goes by Mimimi these days. She's a classic
Japanese beauty—pale skin, long black hair, and even, defined features—but
for someone with such a traditional aesthetic, she has a bright, cheerful
personality. She's on the track team with Hinami.
Whenever we have to switch classrooms and I get there too early, the
other loners are usually sitting at their desks thumbing through their
textbooks or notes, trying to play at being cool and disinterested in the others.
I don't like to get involved in that, so I always kill time by going to the
library first.
Not many people go to a library on a ten-minute break, so it's usually
either just me or me and one other person. By the way, I only pretend to read
the books—I'm really working on tactics for Atafami. But today, I didn't
have time to go to the library. I had to get to class as early as possible to talk
to Minami Nanami, or maybe, if I had the chance, to another girl.
The moment third period ended, I grabbed my home-ec textbook and
workbook, my pencils, and some loose-leaf paper and left the classroom.
As expected, the air of the home-ec room hung thick with apathy—with
an extra twist. Two loners were sitting apart from each other, as well as a
relevant party—I mean the person who sits next to me—I mean— Okay, I'll
just say it: my target, Minami Nanami. Oh, come on! She had her workbook
open and mechanical pencil at work. This was definitely an opportunity, but
if I talked to her now, when the classroom was otherwise silent, our voices
would be the only sounds in the room. I didn't mind if the two loners
overheard us, but I didn't like the idea of my own voice filling the room. I
know that's irrational, but it's true.
This was tough. What to do? I would rather have waited… Oh wait,
Hinami isn't here yet. Yeah, I'm supposed to do it when she was watching, so
I can't do it yet. Oh well, I'll just have to wait a little longer. Until some more
people come in.
By the time I sat down next to Minami Nanami, I'd prepared a hundred
excuses and was in a safe mental state.
"Hey, what's up Tomozaki-kun? You're early today, aren't you!"
Oh, come on!
A second ago she'd been silently focused on her workbook, but the instant
I sat down, she started talking to me like it was the most natural thing in the
world. The whole flow was so smooth that it took a second for it to register
that she had talked to me at all. But no, she had definitely said my name.
I couldn't ignore her, but if I told her the real reason I'd come so early—
specifically to talk to her—I'd look like such a freak she'd probably kill me.
Unfortunately, I'm the opposite of a witty conversationalist.
So…
"…No…"
"Huh?"
"…No, um, it wasn't on purpose."
"Oh really? Well, yeah, that's usually how it goes, isn't it?"
…that's how our conversation went.
Wow, all I said was "it wasn't on purpose," which was completely
pointless, and she still answered "Well, yeah." …I've gotta say, young
women these days really have an amazing ability to empathize. Wonder if I'll
ever get to that point.
But what to do now? A conversation had begun, which meant that if we
fell back into silence, the mood would give its divine verdict: that we were
not each doing our own work, but that we had started a conversation and
couldn't continue it. It goes without saying that I didn't have any safe topics
on hand, such as the latest episode of a show or gossip about so-and-so in our
class. Worst case, I could ask her for a tissue as if the need had just occurred
to me, but that would be a little weird.
With awkwardness pressing in on me, my only choice was to muddle
through.
"Wow, that was amazing," I timidly offered, trying to make my voice as
nonchalant as possible.
"Huh? What was?"
Nanami-san blankly stared with her round eyes. Her voice was clear but
very loud, which meant it reached the whole classroom.
"Um, I mean, all I said was 'it wasn't on purpose,' which didn't really
mean anything."
"Huh?" She was confused. Of course she was.
"But you still managed to agree with me…and it made me think about
how this generation has amazing powers of empathy…"
Nanami-san was silent, as if her brain hadn't yet fully processed what I
was saying. No surprises there. I'd just said exactly what was on my mind a
second ago. This conversation was shit.
"…"
"…"
Awkward. Well, this is hopeless. Now everything was weird, and it was
completely my fault. There was no saving this. How are you supposed to
make conversation? She told me to talk to girls, so I did, and look where that
got me.
"Uh, sorr—"
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
"Huh?"
She was really losing it. The other two kids in the classroom kept glancing
toward us.
"Uh, wh-wha—"
"What are you talking about, Tomozaki-kun! You sound like an old man!
Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Wh-what's going on? "Um, I was just saying this generation…"
"But you're this generation, too! Ah-ha-ha-ha!"
"No, I was just…"
"…What? Just what?" she asked eagerly, still giggling. I'm trying to say
something serious!
"Like, high school girls these days use words like 'yikes' to mean all
different things, right…? So I was thinking empathy is becoming more
common for girls in this…"
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Stop! Stop talking like a talk show host! Ha-ha-ha!"
The more seriously I tried to explain, the more hilarious it was. What was
going on? While she was busy laughing at me, other students had started
trickling into the classroom and looking at us with curiousity. Tomozaki and
Mimimi?!!
"No, it's just, like, I heard about it somewhere, but it didn't sound like a
real thing, and when I saw it for myself, it sort of gave the theory more
punch…"
"Ah-ha-ha-ha! You're killing me!"
"I just thought it was a valuable example…"
"That's what I'm talking about—you sound like an old man! You literally
live in the middle of examples! Ah-ha-ha-ha!"
"Minmi, what's going on?"
Hanabi Natsubayashi, who was in our half of the class for home ec, had
sat down across from Nanami-san. She's petite and delicate, with bobbed
hair, a childlike face, and very compact little movements, like a squirrel.
"Hi, Tama! Still tiny, I see!" Nanami-san said, ruffling Natsubayashisan's hair. I'm not sure how it started, but everyone calls her "Tama," like the
popular name for cats. Tama calls Nanami-san Minmi. I don't know where
that came from, either.
"Cut it out! Just answer my question!"
Natsubayashi-san pushed Nanami-san's arm away with one hand and
scolded her sharply from her height of less than five feet. Still, there wasn't
much real bite to her harsh-sounding reply.
"You're scary, Tama!"
"Don't change the subject! Explain!"
"Sorry, sorry. Tomozaki-kun's talking like an old man. He said—what did
you say? I forgot!"
"Huh?!"
"Hee-hee-hee. Guess you shoulda got here earlier!"
"That's not true! You! Uh, Tomozaki, right? Tell me what happened!"
Next, she turned her razor-sharp tongue on me, but what cut deep was the
way she kind of forgot my name.
Who, me?"
"Is there another Tomozaki around?"
"No…"
"Then stop dawdling!"
"Good luck, Tomozaki!" Nanami-san joked with both fists pressed to her
cheeks.
"What do you mean, good luck…? Uh… Um…"
I bumbled through an explanation. In the meantime, Hinami had come
into the home-ec room with a few friends, smiling. When she saw what was
going on she froze for a couple of seconds, then quickly recovered.
"…and that's what happened."
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
"That's not funny at all," Natsubayashi-san said.
"What? It's hilarious!"
"No it's not! You're just crazy!"
"Ooh, you're so mean! Ah-ha-ha!"
"Stop laughing!"
Natsubayashi-san really seemed to enjoy cutting Nanami-san down. Not a
shred of empathy. I guess not everyone in our generation is the same.
Anyway, Nanami-san had laughed at me when I was trying to be serious, so I
was on Natsubayashi-san's side.
"Um, I don't think it's funny, either…"
"What?!"
"Right? Like I said, Minmi, you're crazy!"
"Aw, I wouldn't say that! You just don't understand 'cause you're a
child!" Nanami-san said.
"Shut up! You're so annoying!"
"Ha-ha-ha, look at you! Come on, Tomozaki, wouldn't you say Tama's a
child?"
Huh? She's asking me?! Is she a child? I don't think so, but I have no idea
what to say. What do I do? I'm not smooth enough for this. My only choice
was to say what I was thinking again.
"Um…uh…I don't know if she's a child."
"Of course you do!"
"Um, yes…but, like, what I felt before was… You had amazing powers of
empathy, but just now, Natsubayashi-san shot you down, right? So everyone
is different, and you can't make snap judgments about all young women…"
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Listen to him!"
"…"
Nanami-san exploded with laughter, while Natsubayashi-san glowered up
at me, disgruntled.
"So the conclusion I can draw is that you shouldn't generalize based on a
single example… That's about it…"
"Stop already! Ah-ha-ha!"
As usual, Nanami-san was cracking up. Natsubayashi-san ignored her
deafening laughter and addressed me.
"…That…"
"Huh?"
"…That was kinda funny!"
What was?
"Mimimi and Hanabi and…Tomozaki? What're you guys all worked up
about?"
In the middle of our muddled conversation, I heard a familiar voice. I was
so flustered I'd forgotten the time, and I hadn't noticed someone coming up
to us, either. Actually, though, I'd predicted this, and it was exactly what I
was afraid of. I should have wrapped up this conversation sooner.
Tomozaki, Natsubayashi, Nanami. We sit in order of our student numbers
in home ec. And between Tomozaki and Natsubayashi was—
—Nakamura.
"What's up with you two? Having fun with Tomozaki, huh?"
He walked up to us, frowning moodily and flanked by two other guys
from his group, Mizusawa and…Takeishi, I think? They were both solid
members of the so-called Nakamura Faction, with Nakamura at the center
and the other two backing him up. Mizusawa in particular wasn't just a
follower but more like a key advisor. Even I could tell he was a sly operator.
"Hey Nakamu, listen to him! Tomozaki is really hilarious…"
"Oh really? Tomozaki is?" Nakamura glanced at me. His mouth was
grinning. His eyes were not. "Whaddaya mean?"
His eyes glittered like those of a snake ready to sink its fangs into my
heart. What was he planning to do to me?
A week had already passed since our Atafami showdown. The tension
back when everyone had basically guessed what happened had dissipated, but
right now, he had his followers with him, which meant he'd probably want to
look even tougher than usual.
"He sounds just like an old guy on a talk show!"
"What? An old guy on a talk show?" he asked grumpily.
"Yeah!"
"I don't get it," Nakamura said.
Mizusawa, who was standing next to him, turned his gaze to me without
moving his head. "Tell us about it, Tomozaki!" he said.
Maybe he had guessed Nakamura's intentions; he directed the question
straight at me. I didn't like the way he called me by my name. Did he think
I'd start stuttering if I had to say more than a few words? Was he playing
with me? Don't underestimate me, man. I may not be smooth, but I can
explain myself just fine. Plus, I'm a hell of a lot better than you guys at
Atafami.
And explain myself I did.
"…So that's what happened."
"Ah-ha-ha. See what I mean?"
Not surprisingly, Nanami-san didn't laugh as hard this time, since this was
the second time she'd heard it. As for Natsubayashi-san, she'd been silent
ever since Nakamura and his crew showed up. Was she intimidated because
three popular guys were there?
"…And?" Nakamura said when I finished talking.
"Huh?"
"That's it?"
"Yeah…"
"That's not funny."
He turned to his two followers.
"Right?"
"Yup, not funny at all…," Takei agreed gravely.
Mizusawa looked at him and started cackling loudly. "Ah-hah-hah!"
"You guys have a weird sense of humor," Nanami-san commented,
"Uh, that would be you!" Nakamura shot back.
"What?! Nanamu, you're harsh!"
Everyone except me and Natsubayashi-san was cracking up. Things were
getting very uncomfortable. I started thinking the only reason this was still
bearable at all was thanks to Nanami-san's comical expression and tone.
"Okay then…should we vote on it?" Mizusawa proposed.
"Brilliant," Nakamura said, like a general bowing to his tactician.
"…Uh-oh, this feels like a setup…," Nanami-san said, laughing.
"Okay! Who thinks Mimimi's a weirdo?"
Takei enthusiastically took a vote, acting like this was finally his big
moment. Nakamura, Takei, and Mizusawa raised their hands.
"Ah-ha-ha-ha! Hey!" Nanami-san joked. I got the sense she was spinning
her wheels, but if she hadn't been, I think I might have suffocated.
"Damn, we don't have a majority," Mizusawa joked back.
"Wait, those guys didn't vote, so we don't know yet!"
…A bizarre game had begun. What was I supposed to do? First of all, I
didn't like the idea of joining in this weird voting game. They'd probably say
it was more playing around than bullying, but I'm bad at judging these things.
Plus, Natsubayashi-san was getting grumpy. Intimidation didn't explain it.
What relationships were at play here?
"Oh, come on, Nakamu! You sure look like you know!"
"Okay, who thinks Shuji's a weirdo?"
Nanami-san thrust her hand into the air comically. Natsubayashi- san kept
staring at the ground, ignoring what was happening. Something out of the
ordinary was definitely going on. I examined everyone's expressions and
tried to figure out what it was. What is this? What am I supposed to do?
I thought about it in my own totally-inexperienced-with-humanrelationships way.
…If I didn't raise my hand now, they'd definitely ask me why I hadn't
voted for either one. And given what I'd observed so far, if they asked
Natsubayashi-san the same thing, there was a high likelihood she'd ignore
them. Which meant that my decision to raise my hand or not at this point
would determine whether Natsubayashi-san was the one they started needling
for not voting.
In other words, if I raised my hand, Natsubayashi-san would be left all
alone. If I didn't, there would be two of us to tease. And I'd be the main
target of their attack. Which meant it would be wiser for me not to raise my
hand. Yeah, definitely. I'm keeping my hand down.
But what is this about, anyway? How did Natsubayashi-san end up in this
position? Why is Natsumi still laughing? Does she not realize what was
happening? Or is it not really a big deal, and I'm just overreacting? God, I
have no clue! Group conversations are way too hard!!
"Hey! I vote for Nakamura, too!"
Just then, I heard a cheerful, friendly voice behind me.
No—an overly cheerful, overly friendly, and definitely fake voice.
"You don't even know what we're talking about, Aoi." Nakamura's tone
was cheerful but also threatening.
"Aww, but I was listening to the whole thing from over there. I thought I
could vote, too."
"No way. This is a Group 4 issue. Bye-bye, outsider."
Nakamura flapped his hands like he was sweeping Hinami away. Her tooperfect smile remained firmly in place.
"Whaaaat? But you're the one who lost to Tomozaki-kun in Atafami."
The air froze.
Hinami had spoken in a fairly loud voice, and the topic was a minor taboo
that no one in class ever brought up. Everyone else had been casually
watching us ever since Nakamura arrived, so all of them heard what she said.
For a second, Nanami-san's ever-present smile seemed to twitch.
"Hey, Aoi."
"Sure is cheap to use a vote to pick on someone just 'cause you're upset
he beat you! That's why Shimano dumped you! She was like, 'Younger guys
are so immature!'" Hinami changed her voice to imitate the older girl's and
mimed along.
"You…just shut up."
"Ah-ha-ha-ha! You sound just like her!"
"Pfft, ha-ha!"
"Ha-ha-ha!"
Not only Nanami-san but Takei and Mizusawa were laughing. The other
kids who'd been watching were giggling, too.
It was incredible.
"So with me and Mimimi, that makes two votes. Who else?" Hinami
glanced at me… Ah, I gotcha.
"I vote for Nakamura, too."
"Oh shit!" Nakamura said. He sounded vaguely humiliated but cheerful at
the same time. This was how Hinami worked. And then next…
"Hey," I said quietly, throwing Natsubayashi-san a glance.
"…"
She silently raised her hand.
"That's four votes! Looks like Shuji's the one with the weird sense of
humor!"
"Nice work, Nakamu!"
Hinami and Nanami-san were teasing him, but affectionately.
"Welp, the majority has spoken," Nakamura joked, frowning.
"Bet you want revenge! You should play Tomozaki-kun in Atafami
again!"
The whole class burst out laughing. What was going on? The taboo had
suddenly become a joke. What was this?
"All right, all right! Tomozaki, I'm waiting for you!" Nakamura declared
theatrically as he looked at me. When our eyes met, I saw genuine anger.
Yikes. This is why I don't like to look people in the eye.
"Uh, yeah, can't wait."
The home-ec teacher arrived right then. Perfect timing.
Could Hinami have planned that, too? …No, no way.
"Thanks, Aoi! That was awesome!"
"Ha-ha, thanks, Hanabi."
As soon as Nakamura left the room after class, Natsubayashi-san ran up to
Hinami and threw her arms around her.
"I was about to ruin everything again."
"Thought so. It's so easy to tell what you're thinking," Hinami said,
patting Natsubayashi-san's head as she hugged her. If I'd only seen that one
image, I'd have thought it was a happy scene, but that comment about being
"about to ruin everything" was interesting.
"Nice job, Tama! You did good!" Nanami-san added, running up and
throwing her arms around her and Hinami from behind with the same
enthusiasm as Natsubayashi-san.
So there was Hinami, with Natsubayashi-san hugging her from the front
and Nanami-san hugging her from behind. A cute girl snugly caught between
two beautiful ones, like some gorgeous high school girl sandwich.
"Hey! Get off us!" Natsubayashi-san scolded in her typical domineering
tone, but Nanami-san totally ignored her.
"You were so good! You deserve a compliment!"
Nanami-san ruffled the smaller girl's hair with both hands. When
Natsubayashi-san wordlessly pushed them away, Nanami-san just moved
down and ruffled her hair. Then, to my disbelief, she nibbled on
Natsubayashi- san's ear.
"Eep!"
Nanami-san looked very pleased by this reaction and traced her long,
slender white fingers from the base of Natsubayashi-san's neck up to the
bottom of the ear and between her lips. Then, at just the right moment when
Natsubayashi-san shivered, she gave her ear a lick and made her jump again.
"Hey, Minmi…! That…ah! Tick-tickles!"
Natsubayashi-san clung to Hinami, squealing as if she couldn't stand it
any longer. Nanami-san, looking entranced with her eyes half closed and her
cheeks red, blew out a warm breath.
"Hey, Mimimi, now you're going too far," Hinami said with some
disbelief as she gently bopped Nanami-san on the head. Nanami-san looked
at Hinami with the same fascination, which then turned into a smirk. Hinami
stepped back slightly, but she couldn't move far with Natsubayashi-san still
clinging to her. Perhaps guessing what was about to happen, Natsubayashisan let her go, but she was too late—Hinami was right where Nanami-san
wanted her.
"Hmmm…I wouldn't expect you to say something like that, Aoi," she
said, as brightly as ever, but with a hint of a more grown-up kind of mischief.
"Poke!"
"Ooh!"
Nanami-san jabbed Hinami lightly in the ribs on her right side, and
Hinami responded with a sound so sexy I never would have imagined it from
her previous behavior. Nanami-san slowly, teasingly walked her first two
fingers up Hinami's side to her armpit and poked three times.
"This is your weak point, isn't it?"
"Heyyy! Mimimi…!"
Hinami clamped both arms down by her sides and pushed away the hand
that had started to crawl up again. Nanami-san took the opportunity to move
away from Natsubayashi-san and circle around behind Hinami. Then she
wrapped her right arm around Hinami's waist and grabbed her left side
through the gap between her shirt and skirt. The next thing I knew, she had
cupped Hinami's chin with her left hand and was brushing her lips with one
finger. At the same time, her left elbow had pinned down Hinami's left arm.
She sure had some technique.
"What? Did you say something? Aoi?"
Nanami-san had stopped moving and was whispering a hair's breadth
from Hinami's cheek.
"I said sto—eeek!"
As soon as Hinami started to talk, Nanami-san drew a circle with the
finger that was resting on her side, and her reply turned into a loud squeal.
All the uncool guys in class, including me, stared at her with blank faces.
"What was that? Tell me again."
"Just…leave…me…," Hinami managed to say, bending her still-free right
arm at the elbow and sticking it out a little. Oh, that's what she's up to.
Getting ready for an elbow blow.
"Ooh… "
"Eee?!"
In a flash, the left hand that had been stroking Hinami's lip snaked around
under her right armpit in a semblance of a hug. Hinami responded by
slamming her armpit shut, thereby failing in her attempt at an elbow blow.
Nanami-san craned her head around and brought it so close to Hinami's face
it looked like she was about to kiss her, but all she said was a satisfied, "Too
bad. " She smiled mysteriously…
And then, as if she'd just gotten an idea, Hinami turned her face toward
Nanami-san. They stared at each other, glassy-eyed. Now what's happening?
Hinami brought her lips toward Nanami-san's. Huh? Really? When they
were so close I could hardly tell if they were touching or not, she parted them
slightly. Nanami-san slowly parted her own lips. Closer and closer, and
then…
Foooh!
Hinami blew hard into Nanami-san's mouth. This unexpected attack
landed perfectly, and Nanami-san loosened her hold and staggered back a
few steps. Pressing her lips with the pad of her finger, she looked at Hinami
with a mixture of frustration, enjoyment, and satisfaction. Her cheeks were
red.
"…Yup, just like I thought. I'm no match for you, Aoi."
Hinami looked fed up. "Geez, Mimimi, you are so silly! You give up
yet?" she scolded in a somewhat childish tone.
"Well, only if 'giving up' means…"
Nanami-san turned her misty eyes up toward the ceiling.
"…That next time I'm not letting you win." She stuck her tongue out
clownishly and winked.
"Hey! What she means is, we're not putting up with your sexual
harassment anymore!" Natsubayashi-san said, jabbing her finger up toward
Nanami-san.
"Ah-ha-ha. You're still in love with Aoi, I see."
"Am not!" Natsubayashi-san turned her face away before continuing.
"Thanks for earlier, Minmi." Her voice was suddenly serious, and her eyes
completely sincere.
"…What for? I didn't do anything," Nanami-san said.
"Don't give me that! Just let me say thanks!"
"Huh? Sometimes you say complicated stuff… You better not act like that
tama-rrow!"
Despite Nanami-san's little pun, the conversation seemed to have a deeper
meaning. My guess was that Natsubayashi-san was thanking her for acting so
cheerful and happy during the exchange with Nakamura. That would make
sense—she really did save our butts.
Now that the girl-on-girl action was over, the male spectators wandered
away. I thought of doing the same, but then changed my mind and walked
over to the three girls. After all, I'd been part of the earlier incident, and I
figured Hinami's presence would make talking to them easier. Mostly,
though, I wanted to get closer to my goal.
"Um, Hinami…Hinami-san, thanks for that. You really saved me."
Hinami responded with a genuine grin, not one of her salesperson smiles.
Honestly, did she have a split personality?
"No problem! You're actually pretty funny, Tomozaki-kun. I was smiling
the whole time I was listening to you guys."
I almost laughed at how girly she sounded.
"I just said what I was thinking…"
"I could tell."
"Ah-ha-ha-ha! He's still going!" Next to the smiling Hinami, Nanami-san
was cracking up again.
"You laugh too much, Nanami-san," I said.
"Sorry, sorry…oh, and just call me Mimimi!"
"Um…"
"Only teachers ever call her Nanami-san!"
That was Hinami. Basically, she was ordering me to call Nanami-san
Mimimi. Okay, fine then. At least it's not real first-name basis.
"Um, okay, Mimimi, then."
"Thanks, Tomozaki!"
"What about you, Hanabi?" Hinami asked.
"Whatever."
"Okay…Tama, then?" Hinami suggested.
"Aoi?!" Natsubayashi-san squealed in surprise, looking up at Hinami.
"Ah-ha-ha-ha! Why not? We're all buddies!"
"Um…Tama? Why Tama? Your name's Hanabi Natsubayashi, right?" I
asked.
"Well, because Hanabi means fireworks, and when people watch
fireworks, they shout 'Tamaya,' right? Also, because it sounds cute!"
Nanami-sa—er, Mimimi—explained excitedly.
"Yeah! You don't mind, do you, Tama?" Hinami asked.
"Wait, you're betraying me, too?!" she snapped back.
Once again, Hinami was giving me an order. It was gonna be tough, but
then again, not as tough as dropping polite formalities altogether.
"Um, okay, Tama…chan?"
"Ah-ha-ha-ha! When you say it like that, she really does sound like a
pet!"
"Stop messing with people's names, Minmi!" Tama-chan scolded.
"Um, so…?" I was confused, but just then Tama-chan jumped in.
"It's fine, just call me Tama-chan… I'm used to it anyway."
She didn't look annoyed. In fact, she was acting oddly sincere. It felt
weird when everyone else was joking around, but I don't think she was lying,
anyway.
"…Okay, so we'll go with Tama-chan… Thanks." I said.
"You don't have to say 'thank you' all the time!"
"Ha-ha-ha!"
She was a weird one.
The four of us managed to have a little conversation during the one- or
two-minute walk to the next class. Of course, Hinami was nudging me along
the whole time. If you were wondering, Tama-chan said the reason she calls
Mimimi "Minmi" is because Mimimi is just too hard to say.
And that was my crazy first day.
I'd only been waiting in Sewing Room #2 for a couple of minutes when
Hinami arrived.
"…Hey," I said.
"Hi. Let's get started."
"Oh, okay."
We were starting on a more solemn note than I'd expected, which made
me nervous.
"First, congratulations on accomplishing your mission."
Oh, a compliment from the boss.
"Th-thanks."
"Technically speaking it's not clear if you talked to them or they talked to
you, but since you talked to four girls instead of the three that were required,
I'll let it slide."
"Well, that's a relief. I was worried if it counted."
The truth was, of those four, I'd only initiated with one.
"So how was it? What are your impressions?"
"My impressions?"
"Anything is fine. What do you remember most clearly?"
"That's hard. There's so much…"
I scratched my head.
"But I guess the thing I remember most…was in the home-ec room… The
thing about Atafami."
"What thing about Atafami?"
"Yeah, you said Nakamura had lost at Atafami in front of everybody."
"Oh, that," Hinami said, smiling.
"And you made it into a joke. That surprised me."
"Okay, but this is a time for self-reflection. The focus is supposed to be on
what you did, not me…"
"Oh right."
"It's fine. I had to do it, either way."
"How so?"
"He seemed like he had a pretty strong grudge against you for beating
him. Like he didn't want to mention it, or like it was his dark past… You
must have really crushed him, huh?"
"Well, yeah… He didn't take a single stock from me."
"That's what I thought," she said with another smirk.
"Was that bad?"
"Not particularly. But it was bad that everyone was tiptoeing around it.
Because of that, all his regret over losing got bottled up inside him. Then
when no one could mention it at school, that made it awkward, too, and I'm
sure he had all kinds of other feelings that couldn't be released."
"So that's what was going on."
"Yeah. And the more time passed, the more those negative feelings built
up until he was like a balloon ready to pop. And the harder it got for anyone
to mention it. Well, that's my take on it, at least."
"Makes sense."
"Once things got to that point, Nakamura went harder and harder on you,
and the balloon became trickier and trickier to pop. Since Nakamura is an
influential member of the class, his rudeness to you destabilized your
position. That would spell trouble if you want to be successful in the real
world, and that's why it was necessary to prick the balloon as soon as
possible and just blow it up."
"Blow it up."
"Yeah. Just give it a little prick by saying something in front of everyone
and turning it into a joke."
Turn it into a joke… She made it sound so simple.
"It wasn't that easy, was it?"
"Well, it wasn't that hard in terms of technique, but I doubt anyone but
me could have done it." She smiled broadly. "No one else is brave enough."
"O-okay." This girl is a force to be reckoned with.
"So that's what I did. I think Nakamura will ease up a little now, too."
I would never have guessed that so much thought went into that little
stunt.
"Back on topic. What do you remember most about what you did today?"
Hmm, what I did…
"Probably how tactless I was in conversations."
"Tactless how?"
"It's hard to explain. Like, saying the right thing to keep things fun for
people."
"I see… But everyone seemed to be having fun in home ec. I was
surprised."
"Uh…that was different."
"Different?"
"I was just saying whatever came into my head, and they happened to
think it was funny. We weren't really communicating."
"If you said what you were thinking, isn't that communication?" She was
studying me.
"I guess."
"You're misunderstanding something."
"What?"
"Okay. Conversation is essentially telling another person what you're
thinking."
"Um, but…wouldn't both people end up pushing their opinions on each
other?"
Conversation was supposed to be about respecting each other's opinions
and empathizing, right? Like Mimimi did.
"Not at all. You're thinking that conversation just means getting the other
person's ideas and sympathizing or empathizing with them, but that's not the
heart of it."
Just like she said, I did think conversation was the same as sympathizing
or empathizing. After all, everyone did that—both adults out in the world and
my own classmates. At least, that's how it looked to me. And since I was bad
at it, I always felt uncomfortable.
"It's not?"
"Nope. Clearly, it would be arrogant to ignore what the other person said
and then say some entirely unrelated thought of your own. But that's not
what you did, is it?"
Ummm… "I didn't?"
"No. You explained it. You listened to what Mimimi said, and it made
you think about how young people these days have amazing powers of
empathy. So you said that. Which means you listened to what she said and
had a related thought of your own. In which case, you weren't being
arrogant."
"Uh, I guess so?"
"It's true that simply sympathizing with what someone says often does
smooth out the interaction. But listen. People have surprisingly sharp
intuition. Eventually, they'll figure out what you're doing. In the long run,
people trust those who don't simply sympathize with what they say, but
instead pause to think for themselves and then say what they came up with.
You did that. A lot of people can't, and they suffer for it."
"I—I see."
I kinda got it, but kinda didn't.
"So as far as that goes, you did extremely well for a first-timer in today's
field practice."
Really? "Extremely well" was great news.
"But you did horribly in other areas. Nothing positive whatsoever. The
thing with Kikuchi-san was awful. You asked her to lend you some tissues,
and when she did, you were still smiling under your mask, and then you
pretended to blow your nose. You should be sinking into the floor with
shame."
"Hinami… If you're using the good-cop, bad-cop method, your bad cop is
a little too strong…"
"What are you talking about? That isn't even all of it. You talked to
someone in home ec when I wasn't there. What did I tell you? Only do it
when I'm nearby."
"No, that was…"
"Listen. This time, Nakamura butted in after I got there, so it worked out,
but do you know what would have happened without me? Hanabi might have
blown up, and you could have become a school joke. If that happened, you'd
be getting further from, not closer to, achieving your goals."
"S-sorry… So the reason you told me to wait till you were there was so
you could rescue me if something bad happened?"
"Obviously. If I just wanted to know you'd done it, I could ask the girls
directly afterward or find out some other way."
"H-Hinami…"
She was so kind…
"You're not starting to think I care about you, are you? Because all I care
about is my decision to help you achieve your goals, and I don't want all my
work to be wasted."
"Oh right."
"Plus, it's not just so I can rescue you. I want to observe how the girls
react when you talk to them, the kind of conversations you have, and your
conversational skills before I decide where we go from here. I mean, before I
decide who you become friends with and what kind of practice you do."
"You've thought through all that?"
"Obviously. If you're planning to take on a boss, you're not going to win
unless your level is high enough for whatever they're going to throw at you."
"That…"
I was completely sincere.
"…is exactly right."
…Honestly, whenever we talked about games, we always saw eye to eye.
"Okay, then. As far as next steps…take off your mask for a minute."
"Uh, okay." I did as she said, and my huge smile finally saw the light of
day.
"Try going back to your regular face again."
I followed her instructions.
"Hmm, I see. Your training is showing results."
"Huh?"
"Do you see it?"
"Whoa—"
She was holding out a hand mirror, and what I saw startled me. I thought I
was making my default expression, but compared to the last time she shoved
a mirror in front of my face, the area around my mouth definitely looked
firmer.
"Even two days made a difference. You must have been working hard.
Good job."
"Well, you told me to do it constantly."
"Yeah…you'll do fine. From now on, you don't have to do it all the time.
You can ease up when you're talking to people or if you get tired. And you
can take the mask off in front of people. Just be sure to check your mouth in a
mirror every now and then so you can learn how much effort you need to
keep it naturally firm, and then work toward constantly maintaining that state.
When you can do it without thinking, your training will be over."
"Wow, really? Okay, then!"
I was making progress, and I was determined to keep it up.
"…That's it from me. Do you have any other concerns?"
"Well…the thing with Natsubaya—I mean Tama-chan… It was like…
The way she was acting…"
"…Oh, that," Hinami said. Something was bothering her.
"If it's hard to talk about, you don't have t—"
Hinami interrupted me. "She's very stubborn. Or…sincere, maybe." She
still looked troubled. "She doesn't adjust her actions based on the mood
around her. She just does what she wants."
"Huh… That's unusual for kids our age, right?"
"Yeah. Her good friends like that about her, myself included. But she
doesn't get along with some people."
"I could see that."
Like I said, not many young people seemed to act that way these days.
"She especially doesn't get along with people like Nakamura who tend to
control the tone of a conversation."
Aha.
"Makes sense."
"They've gotten into little…conflicts many times. Hanabi's gotten burned
in the past, and she feels responsible. On the other hand, a guy like Nakamura
is obviously gonna think Hanabi should stop being so stubborn and just go
with the program for once in her life. It has more to do with his own pride
and stubbornness rather than malice, though… At least, that's how it looks to
me."
"Hmm. If that's the case…it sounds annoying."
"Exactly! If I'm around, I can smooth things over like I did today, but no
one else can handle Nakamura the way I can. Hanabi could be traumatized
again when I'm not watching. But I can't follow her around everywhere she
goes! …So it's a tough situation."
Hanami's emotions were slipping in and out of her voice, which was
unusual for her.
"…So even Aoi Hinami feels helpless sometimes. I thought you could do
anything," I commented nonchalantly.
"I can't do anything," she mumbled with that same sorrowful expression
I'd seen once before.
"Huh?"
"…Is that what you were expecting? There's nothing I can't do. I'll show
you one of these days that I can even fix the situation with Hanabi."
"R-really?"
She was back to her usual confident self… Was she joking? What a waste
of acting talent.
"But, I don't think T-Tama-chan would listen if you told her to behave
herself…"
"Right… Plus, I wouldn't want her to. It's rare for someone to wear their
heart on their sleeve the way she does."
"Yeah, she's pretty unique."
"Hanabi's heart is always laid bare, which means it's poorly defended.
Someone has to act as her armor. Someone has to come swooping and fend
off the attacks, or else her heart will get all torn up… Anyway, that's the
story with Hanabi."
"Huh."
I was nodding admiringly when Hinami caught me off guard with her next
comment.
"That's why I think you two might have surprisingly good chemistry."
"Huh? Really? Why?"
"…Never mind. For now, just spend the evening thinking back on what
happened today and what you learned as well as you can. You won't develop
very quickly if you're just following my instructions all the time. You have to
believe in it yourself. Okay?"
"Uh, um, okay."
"We good for today?"
"Uh-huh."
Hinami gestured for me to leave Sewing Room #2. She'd head home a
couple minutes later. I obeyed without protest…and only realized once I'd
left that a normie would have said, "Ladies first." I still had a long way to go.
* * *
I was lying on my bed, just starting to fall asleep. She'd told me to reflect on
the day as well as I could, but where should I start? Honestly speaking, my
experience points were extremely low when it came to relationships. If
someone asked me to come up with an analysis of today's events that went
beyond Hinami's, I couldn't do much more than turn tail and run.
Anyway, in terms of my own feelings about the day, I was surprised by
the power of that invisible monster on the battlefield of group dynamics: "the
mood." I had no clue how to fight that monster, or even if the word "fight"
was the right one for this situation. All I knew was that the battlefield
belonged to the wild-animal trainers—the people like Hinami and Nakamura
who were good at taming the invisible mood monster.
I had a mental image of Hinami and Nakumura facing each other in an
oval coliseum, trying to parry an enormous deformed monster in the center
with their chosen weapon and ultimately lead it to devour their opponent.
Nakamura had a whip, Hinami a cape. Neither laid a hand on the other
directly; in the end it was the mood that would kill them. Could I join that
battle? I sure couldn't picture myself there. I drifted off to sleep thinking
about all of this.
By the way, Hinami had texted me a very impersonal "7 PM, first to take
five matches wins," which led us to a set of friend matches. I won five in a
row. She still had a long way to go herself.