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Chapter 10 (A Song for Winter), and Chapter 11 (Ackerman Power Awakening) are already available for Patrons.
A moan of excruciating pain escaped from Eren's lips as he found himself helplessly tossed to the dire for the fourth time by Annie. Despite the intense agony coursing through his body, he managed to catch a glimpse of Annie swiftly enclosing her arms around his throat and arms, locking him in a suffocating chokehold. With each passing second, Eren's struggle to draw in a breath grew increasingly arduous, his chest constricting mercilessly as time slipped away. Meanwhile, Jaime, positioned at a safe distance, observed the brutal brawl unfold before his eyes while fervently engrossed in his art book, seamlessly capturing the chaotic scene with every stroke of his pencil.
Usually, Jaime would be the only one to train with Annie every time they had to train in hand-to-hand combat. It had been like that for over a year now, and no one else was brave enough to throw hands with Annie; many people even questioned Jaime why he spent so much time with Annie, saying she was as cold as ice. Many avoided her for that reason, but Jaime was never afraid of her; sure, she could get quite brutal in her training. Jaime had been on the receiving end of her fists and kicks quite a few times, but the same went for Annie; Jaime quite often was the one who threw fists instead of her.
Jaime knew Annie could be quite cold sometimes, but he had seen how soft she could sometimes be; while she had a taught skin, Jaime believed her heart was warm and soft.
Jaime was very happy to spend time with Annie. He had tried to train with Mikasa Ackerman since she was the other one who could give both Jaime and Annie a run for their money, but for some reason, Mikasa often ignored Jaime; he didn't know what her problem was, since to his knowledge, he had never insulted her, or done anything to earn her ire. Jaime had asked both Eren and Armin if he had done something wrong, but neither knew how to answer him.
Today, when Mister Corpse-looking Shadis had ordered them to train in Hand to Hand combat, Jaime had been looking forward to fighting with Annie again, but Jean had wanted Jaime to train him first; the latter had agreed with him since Jean wanted to join the Military Police, Jaime knew how important it was for Jean to know hand to hand combat.
Personally, Jaime didn't understand why Jean would want to go to the Military Police; Jean didn't strike Jaime as lazy or as someone who could turn a blind eye to certain things that Military Police tend to do. Some of the military police were even worse than some might even realize; Jaime really wished that the day would never come when he saw Jean amongst them, not amongst the military police, but amongst the officers who let slide certain evil things, like giving information to kidnappers on the location of valuable people, so they could kidnap and sell them as slaves.
The mere thought of these monsters made his blood boil; Jaime clenched his teeth. Those monsters weren't people; they were worse than the Titans. He could almost feel the pain, the ropes on his arms and legs.
Jaime escaped his thoughts once he heard Mikasa yell out 'Eren' for the tenth time just today. Jaime arched an eyebrow; he didn't understand why she was so fixated on him. Sure, she was his sister or something. Jaime wasn't sure what their relationship was since Mikasa didn't look similar to Eren, not even slightly, but it wasn't hard to understand that she valued his life more than she valued her own life.
While Jaime didn't understand why Mikasa was so fixated on Eren, he couldn't help but envy him, the way Mikasa looked at him, a look of love and caring. Jaime didn't understand how deep Mikasa's feelings went for Eren, but her eyes reminded Jaime of his own mentor in a way.
Jaime remembered the many times he had wanted his mentor to look at him with caring, to show pride, but the look and words never came; his mentor left him the moment Jaime told him that he wanted to join the Survey Corps and never bothered to look behind.
"You're just like the brat, if you're expecting a farewell hug or loving words than you will be disappointed Jaime. I don't have any of these. If you want to be Titan food then so be it,"
Jaime forced himself to stop thinking about him; it had been almost two years now, he needed to forget. Jaime knew there was a chance he would never see his mentor again; their paths were way too different.
Jaime watched as Mikasa tried to help Eren to stand up, only for him to yell at her, telling her that he didn't need help; Jaime frowned at that; sure, Mikasa could often overreact, but Eren was being an asshole to her, Jaime watched as Eren walked away from Mikasa, only for the latter to follow after him. Once again, Jaime couldn't understand what was going through her head.
Jaime, engrossed in his thoughts, was jolted back to reality when he sensed a rhythmic tapping on his forehead. Startled, he turned in bewilderment, only to find Annie, wearing an impish grin, cheerfully knocking on his forehead with her index finger. As though his mind was a door, she playfully inquired with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, "Are you there? Is anyone home?" Her words dripped with playful taunting. Intrigued, Jaime couldn't resist but let his curiosity succumb to Annie's endearing charm.
With a mischievous glint in his eye, Jaime playfully taunted Annie, "Ohh, is that a joke I heard from you, Annie?" A wide grin stretched across his face, illuminating the air with his infectious energy. Annie, however, couldn't resist rolling her eyes, a playful defiance that belied her genuine amusement. As she averted her gaze from Jaime, desperately attempting to conceal her burgeoning smile, he couldn't help but catch a glimpse of that telltale flicker of mirth dancing upon her lips.
"You know you're getting better at it, Annie. In no time you will be as popular as Reiner." Jaime teased while pointing at Reiner, who was busy talking with Krista; Jaime's amusement grew as he observed Ymir standing at Krista's side, sending intense glares Reiner's way for simply existing in close proximity to Krista. A chuckle escaped Jaime's lips, pure entertainment derived from the unfolding dynamics.
"Like Reiner," Annie's voice dripped with disdain as she spat out her words, her offense palpable. With a firm resolve, she declared, "I will never change; I'm as I am." Her eyes flickered mischievously as she playfully gestured towards Reiner with her thumb, a knowing smile dancing on her lips. "If you want a Reiner, then he's right there. I'm sure he wouldn't mind getting to know you better," she divulged, leaving a teasing hint of possibility in the air.
"Hey, just a joke. I would have never wanted you to change," Jaime quickly exclaimed, his hands raised in a gesture of innocence and protection. Annie's eyebrow arched gracefully before she gracefully closed the distance between them, encroaching upon Jaime's personal space. As his heart raced, Jaime felt a delightful warmth emanating from his chest, ignited by the intensity of her gaze. Her eyes, a mesmerizing shade of crystal blue, mirrored the purity of gently flowing water. Despite the underlying steel in her countenance, there was an enigmatic tenderness that Jaime couldn't fathom, further enhancing her exquisite beauty.
"Never, why?" Annie questioned, looking directly at his purple eyes.
"Because you're good as you are now. Sure, getting to know you is like breaking a boulder with my forehead," Jaime continued, earning an eye roll from Annie.
"But that makes you 'You' cold like winter on the outside, but warm like the sun on the inside." Jaime finished, feeling embarrassed to say such words; he knew he wasn't good with words, especially when talking to girls. Hell, Caven used to make fun of him, saying he had no idea how to talk to girls.
As Jaime locked eyes with Annie, he couldn't help but be captivated by her radiant beauty. Her eyes, shimmering like pools of liquid sapphire, held a depth that pulled him in, melting his heart like warm caramel. "God, she's beautiful," Jaime thought. Looking back at Annie, he saw her eyes had widened in shock. At that very moment, a surge of panic washed over him like a chilling wave crashing against his trembling body. Anxious beads of perspiration formed on his forehead, evidence of the dread that gripped him. His throat felt dry, and a nervous knot tightened in his stomach as he silently fretted, fearing that his unguarded thoughts, like a misguided arrow, might have escaped his lips once more, echoing his earlier blunder with Shadis.
Jaime, his voice quivering with unease, hesitated before blurting out the question apprehensively, "D-did you hear that?" The unexpected stutter caught him by surprise, and in that vulnerable moment, he yearned for the earth to miraculously split open and offer him a merciful escape. Meanwhile, Annie, her gaze thoughtful and contemplative, regarded him quietly as if weighing her response. Her silence mounted an air of intrigue, leaving an indelible sense of anticipation hanging in the atmosphere.
"Hear what?" After a few moments of silence, Annie questioned, her eyes turning back to the normal blue ice-cold eyes that everyone was familiar with, especially Jaime.
Jaime couldn't help but mentally sigh in relief, thanking the gods that he hadn't actually said that out loud and made a fool of himself.
"Nothing, must have been the wind," Jaime answered 'wisely' with a grin that Annie thought was incredibly stupid looking, but at the same time made her smile slightly in amusement.
Soon, Jaime and Annie started the friendly hand-to-hand combat fight; as usual, quite a few cadets would gather to watch them fight, and with every fight they had, the small audience would start betting on who would win.
As the friendly fight went on, Jaime couldn't help but notice something strange: Annie's fists had less strength in them. Whenever he received a punch from her, her punches always hurt, but this time, they had less strength, as if Annie was holding back, something that baffled Jaime; Annie was never someone to hold back.
Eren was watching the fight closely, along with Armin and Mikasa; Eren couldn't help but feel envy at the way Jaime was able to stand against Annie, something he failed spectacularly more than once.
Jaime easily dodged an attack before throwing himself at Annie, his arms around her right arm and throat in a tight chokehold, but not too tight, so she could still breathe. Annie struggled against his grip, but Jaime kept his grip on her, not allowing even the smallest window for her to escape.
The small audience watching held their breath, watching closely, expecting Jaime to win; Ymir was the loudest amongst them. "Don't stop, Midget, kick Her ASS!" Ymir shouted, earning a look of disapproval from Krista.
Bertholdt couldn't help but get increasingly worried. He expected Annie to escape his chokehold by now, but it seemed Jaime wasn't allowing her; he felt cold sweat rolling down his face. Seeing that Annie wasn't escaping his chokehold, he stepped forward.
"Annie, come on, you're stronger than this. Are you giving up?" Jaime whispered to her as his grip on her started easing, just enough for her to escape from him, but just as Annie was about to escape from his grip, a shout was heard in the air.
"Let Go Of Her. You Devil!"
"Huhh!"
His gaze shot upward just in time to catch a fearsome kick hurtling menacingly toward his unsuspecting visage. Acting swiftly, Jaime instinctively shielded his face with his arms, only to feel a searing pain surge through his limbs as the unforgiving impact redirected its force. The sheer power behind the blow was enough to coax a pained grimace from his lips, ultimately propelling him backward, away from Annie.
Jaime felt his anger rising up; he quickly stood up, ignoring the pain in his arms, ready to face whoever hit him, only to see that it was Bertholdt! Jaime was baffled. Bertholdt was never someone to show anger towards anyone, and it wasn't just Jaime who was baffled; everyone else was as well.
"Oii, Bertholdt, what are you doing?" Ymir was the first to voice out what everyone else was thinking, looking at Bertholdt with anger; the same went for Jean, who questioned why Bertholdt tried to kick Jaime.
Bertholdt ignored them. Instead, he walked up to Annie, who was still lying on the ground; she looked unhurt. Bertholdt quickly extended his hand towards her, wanting to help her stand up, only for Annie to accept his hand, but the moment she stood up, she used her other hand to punch Bertholdt in the face, sending him in the dirt.
"Who told you to intervene, Bertholdt." Annie spat, looking down at Bertholdt with fury. Jaime wondered why Annie was so angry; she didn't look just angry with him; she looked furious.
"Enough, Annie," Reiner spoke commandingly towards Annie while trying to help Bertholdt stand up. The latter had blood trailing down from his nose, but his face looked similar to that of someone who just lost everything; he looked defeated in a way.
Annie sent a glare toward Reiner; this time, her glare was tenfold. For a moment, everyone expected Annie to punch Reiner in the face, and from the way she made her hands fists, a voice spoke behind Annie.
"Annie." Jaime said firmly, now standing behind her, before daring to place his hand on her shoulder. The moment he did, she tensed slightly. Jaime expected her to get angry with him, but instead, her muscles slowly relaxed; without saying a word, Annie simply brushed off Jaime's hand and walked away from everyone else.
Jaime watched her walk away; he wondered if he could do something to help when he heard footsteps approaching. He turned just in time to see Krista running towards him while Ymir shook her head and looked displeased that Krista was paying so much attention to Jaime.
"Jaime, are you alright?" Krista quickly asked as soon as she hugged him; Jaime quickly hugged her back, never tired of hugging her.
"I'm alright, sunshine," Jaime said teasingly as Krista pulled away from the hug; she quickly blushed slightly in embarrassment; Ymir glared down at Jaime, looking pissed that Krista was blushing because of something Jaime said, especially with the triumphant smirk on Jaime's face.
"Enough of this, now Jaime what you have to say for yourself," Ymir quickly scolded him, looming over Jaime like a giant, causing Jaime to look up, to the point his neck got a little uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry, mom. I will be a good boy from now on," Jaime said teasingly, his smirk growing even more when Krista giggled and Ymir growled.
"What did you say boy?" Ymir demanded, leaning her head downwards towards Jaime.
"I said I can't hear you from down here,"
"Speak up, boy. I can't hear you from up there,"
Krista quickly got in between them, giving both of them a scolding look.
.
.
Jaime was sitting with Ymir and Krista as they usually did, eating dinner in the common room, while Eren and Jean had once again started a fight. Jaime found their fights to be funny and entertaining, but by this point, he was sick of them; they had become so frequent that people placed bets, and apparently, this was the 300th fight, so everyone wanted to see just how it would end.
Jaime just wanted to draw in peace. He didn't understand why both Eren and Jean seemed to have made it their life mission to fight each other the moment they looked at one another the wrong way, and it wasn't just them fighting; many cadets had stood up and were cheering for either Eren or Jean to win, adding to the already annoying loud noise.
Jaime glanced briefly at Mikasa; she was watching Eren fight with concern. Jaime couldn't help but look at her eyes once again; they were the same shed of grey and purple that his mentor had, and their eyes were very similar.
Jaime's attention turned to Bertholdt; he hadn't touched his food, his plate of stew was full, and his bread was untouched. Reiner was sitting beside Bertholdt, quite often whispering something to him. Jaime couldn't hear what it was, but he figured they were encouraging words; Jaime's eyes flickered at Annie's seat, and once again, she wasn't there.
Jaime quickly escaped his thoughts when Eren threw Jean to their table, which caused one of the plates to fly straight at Krista's face, splattering the stew all over her face and clothes, not to mention the slight cut on her forehead that quickly started bleeding.
"Krista!!" Ymir quickly cried out in concern, looking at the blonde girl from up close, using a napkin to cover the cut on her forehead, before quickly glaring at both Jean and Eren, who hadn't seemed to have noticed what they had done.
Jaime felt his anger rise up; without thinking, he stood up from his seat and marched towards Jean, who was ready to continue his fight with Eren and not apologize to Krista for being stupid. Both of them Were Morons.
.
.
"Oi."
A punch in Jean's stomach caused him to gasp loudly; he fell on the floor, holding his stomach while trying to catch his breath. Jaime quickly turned his attention to Eren, who took a step backward, opening his mouth to say some excuse; Jaime quickly grasped his tunic, raising him up in the air, before slamming him against the table.
The whole room was quiet, except for Mikasa screaming 'Eren' for the eleventh time. Eren looked up at Jaime with anger while Jean was still lying on the floor, breathing heavily, before slowly standing up with the help of a nearby table.
Before Eren could open his mouth to speak to ask Jaime why he intervened, Jaime quickly interrupted whatever he wanted to say. "Enough of this, Eren. Of both of you, look at what you did to Krista," Jaime shouted with anger; everyone's eyes turned to see Krista with the small cut on her forehead.
Both Eren and Jean looked guilty, but Jaime wasn't done; he was tired of Eren fighting Jean for simply having a different mindset. "Enough of your stupid fights. Eren, you tell me you want to go to the survey corps, yet you lose your control of such small things; how do you think you will survive out there like this?" Jaime spoke, and his words quickly got Eren angry, who stood up, getting to Jaime's level. Despite Jaime being slightly shorter, Jaime wasn't afraid of him.
"What did you say?" Eren demanded, his face getting slightly red from anger.
"You heard me; Jean has the right to have a mind of his own on what part of the military he wants to join; everyone has a mind of their own. Yet, that is enough for you to get angry." Jaime quickly pointed out that despite his words, Jaime didn't allow himself to get angrier; he didn't allow himself to shout at Eren; his voice was still calm and collected.
"Tell me, Eren, the mortality rate in the Survey Corps is 60% to 70% on every expedition. Tell me, what will you do if you see one of your friends die, because trust me you will?"
"I will kill the Titan that did It!" Eren quickly answered, almost head-butting Jaime.
"You ain't killing shit, Eren. If you lose control out there you will be Dead. Do you understand me? All is gone. Your life and your dreams. You tell everyone here how you will kill all the Titans, how you will avenge what happened in Shiganshina." Jaime spoke before his voice dropped to a whisper, only for Eren to hear.
"To avenge your mother, yet, you seem in such a hurry to die. For her death to mean Nothing," Jaime whispered, low enough for no one else to hear; his words caused Eren's eyes to widen, a gasp escaping his mouth.
"Think of the people that are still with you, Mikasa and Armin. What do you think will happen to them if you die out there. Think about the people you will leave behind, think of them, be thankful that you have such people that care so much for you. That you can call Family. Don't make the same mistake I Did. So listen to this, your life means to those around you, don't think for a moment that is something that you can just throw away without thought." Jaime finished before pulling himself away from Eren. The latter's eyes were as wide as plates, tears quickly filling his green eyes, rolling down his cheek, and falling onto the wooden floor below.
Jaime turned around and left the room, guilt quickly filling his body; he knew he perhaps shouldn't have said those things, he shouldn't have brought up his mother, but Jaime didn't want someone like Eren to just die out there; a headache quickly came, he felt like his head was splitting open.
Jaime remembered when he himself had made a rash decision, a decision that still lived with him to this day. Once Jaime walked outside, he took a deep breath to calm himself, but his memories returned to him once again.
"I'm Sorry. Please Forgive Me, Arthur. Gods Forgive Me, PLEASE."
Jaime fell on his knees, feeling the grass all around his hands, the moonlight shining above him, Jaime's breathing rapid, and the smell of blood on his mouth and every tooth. Jaime could see his little bro looking at him; he looked just as he remembered before his death. His right hand was cut off, bloody still dripping from his wound, his stomach cut open, guts dragging across the grass. Jaime knew what he was seeing wasn't real, yet he could feel the tears building up in his eyes.
"You are not... real." Jaime growled, trying to somehow get rid of him, he didn't want to remember that day. If only I was stronger, if only I Wasn't so Weak, Jaime thought, he could taste the blood in his mouth.
.
.
.
"Jaime!"
Jaime gasped after hearing the sudden voice behind him; all the hallucinations of his little dead bro disappeared, and only now did Jaime realize that he was lying on the grass, on his stomach. Jaime quickly looked upwards to see Mikasa looking down at him with a puzzled look.
"You alright?"
"I'm fine!" Jaime quickly said dismissively. As he stood up from the grass, he felt his skin felt itchy; Jaime knew he needed to wash his body before going to sleep.
Jaime turned his attention back to Mikasa to notice that she was simply standing there without saying anything, which felt a little awkward. "Mikasa, if you're angry with me because of what I did and said to Eren, then sorry to disappoint you. I will not apologise." Jaime said firmly.
"What did you say to Eren?" Mikasa asked, looking at Jaime warily.
"Nothing that shouldn't be said, I know that perhaps it wasn't my place to say it, but Eren needs to understand that not everyone thinks like him. Someone like him needs to learn self control, especially if he is actually serious about joining the Survey Corps. Why don't you teach him Mikasa, you are the closest he has to Family," Jaime pointed out; his words caused Mikasa to frown slightly.
"He doesn't allow me, he doesn't like me training him." Mikasa answered, feeling like she was failing Eren in a way.
"Bullshit, it's not about that. He doesn't like it that you babysit him," Jaime quickly pointed out; his words caused Mikasa to look at him, slightly annoyed.
"Babysit him?"
"Yes, this is why he tries to train with Annie. He knows Annie will be real with him, and won't hold back her punches. If you want to train him, you should make it clear that you won't hold back, that you will actually try to really teach him, and in these kinds of training. Pain is to be expected," Jaime explained; his words seemed to have made Mikasa think deeply. Eventually, a look of realization came to her face, and she looked at Jaime with a look of acceptance.
"Good night, Jaime."
"Huh!" Jaime couldn't help but be surprised; she actually seemed to have listened to him as she walked away.
Now that Jaime was alone once again, he wondered if he could have a talk with Annie about what happened during the friendly fight.