"Hey Amber, It's your birthday tomorrow, I hope you get lots of gifts! I'm sorry I can't come to celebrate your birthday with you, but I will always be by your side, remember that necklace that says sisters forever? We will connect that necklace together I promise! Happy Birthday Amber!"
I sent the letter to the mailbox and hopes for Amber to read it.
"Ivy honey?" "yea mom?" "can you come upstairs for a second?" "oh okay" My heart sunk, did she find the diary. No no no no no! NO! She can't find the diary! NO WAY! NO! I went upstairs. I saw mom with my diary in her hand. "Amber hun, what do you mean?" "oh mom it's for a script for school." "so your school is telling you to write stuff about self harm?" I sighed "honey you can always tell me anything you know?" "okay. well… i have been dealing with anxiety and i relapsed." "relapsed? relapsed in what?!" "self harm…" "oh so im a bad mother now?" "no your not a bad mother." "i have done so much for you and this is how you repay me?!" "no…" "you know what, i don't even wanna see ur face anymore, get lost"
That feeing starts to kick in. Now my mom knows about my health. Now i have a really good reason to hang myself. I cried for hours and hours. I went to my school building. Climbed the top. And texted Ellie and emailed dad that I love them. I put my phone down. Took a deep breath, and put one leg over the edge….