"Stop stretching your sorrows even when they're not meant to be. Keep them to yourself. Sharing has led your fears into even darker abysses of despair. You shall not pass your fears unto them."
Every night, these words are whispered in my ears like a cold breath and cause every cell of my body to fill up with cold fear. I've kept it to myself ever since. This is the only fear that I dare not speak to someone about. Even in my silent prayers, my heart reluctantly spatters the fear out in front of the One; it shouldn't be like that.
I can hardly keep myself together since I'm going to enter high school. Our wealthy family of seven people shifts a lot. I have to perpetually remind myself that I'm going to meet some strange people, but not as strange as myself. Today is my first day in the city of Elster, located in the country of Intra.
'Alright, Shelly, get ready. You aren't here to sleep all day. Move yourself a little.' My father's here to wake me up, again.
'Let me get some sleep, won't ya?' I reply, with an evident disgust at being awakened when I finally felt a touch of a woman in my dream.
My father looks at me for some time and finally says.
'O, sweet dreams they're, aren't they?'
'How did you know?' I cry and get on my feet as if I just took the strongest coffee sip of my life.
'I've passed from the same age. Don't forget it. Now get up.'
I nod and he finally leaves.
My feeble mind is still devoid of a little understanding of the dream. What fears lie within me that I don't even know about, and why don't they stop?
The freaking stairs are so noisy in our new house that I can't even go downstairs to get a midnight snack. O, the misery!
I descend from the same stairs that woke up the whole lot last night and finally sit at the table with a rather confused countenance. I don't realize what I'm showing somebody until they mention it. So my elder sister damned my day with her voice; I detest it, but at the same time love it.
'Trying their all, are we?'
I stick out my tongue. She stands up from the chair and I know what's coming.
'You little pie-'
'Alright Emma, no need to get your blood boiled so early in the morning. And you Shelly, get ready, your father's sitting in the car. He wants to talk.'
My whole journey felt like a decade: for I was rethinking all of the stuff that I had done in my already labyrinthine life. I stumbled upon something strange, a car. It's ours, alright. No need to worry then, at least this is what I thought.
My father's face was off, for a reason I didn't know.
My father starts the car and stays silent for almost half of the trip until I realize that my sister's not present.
'Dad, I think we forgo-'
'Son, what's the matter?'
'Wha- nothing, it's nothing. Everything's fine.'
'You may lie to me for the time being, or perhaps, forever, but you can't keep this going on with yourself.'
I realized he was in my room last night when I had the dream.
'Since you know, there's no use lying,' I sigh.
'I don't know, father.'
'You may not be able to tell yourself what actually is that you're going through, but, son, keep yourself together in all circumstances. That's the only thing I'd say.'
I nod and the smile on his face returns.
'Now let's go back to get your sister.'
A catastrophe occurred upon our reaching home; Emma was crying at the top of her lungs, pitying her unworthiness, perhaps, while I stood chuckling as father consoled her and apologized.
'I can't believe you did this pop,' she said while sobbing. 'You better not do it again.' Said she, finally sitting in the front. Father still consoling her.
I finally reach my school with little to no hopes or expectations. I felt like young Pip for a moment. No idea about what's going on; just like my view of myself and life. Now, as for the school, it is one of the most prestigious institutions in the country, with several campuses all around the globe, with millions of students graduating every year.
'I'm going to be lost in the millions.' I thought. As I was contemplating what I read about the school and to what extent were the reviews true, a girl stumbled upon someone's foot and almost hit me in the face. From thereon, I shall tell y'all exactly what in the actual torture I had to go through.
I get hold of the girl, she smiles and, wait! Did she just go away?
'Are you alright? Wait!'
She doesn't glance back. I don't bother.
'What a weirdo.' I think.
But I realized something. She— she's peculiarly beautiful.
I can hardly get over the fact that I just met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life.
But I also realize that I'm good alone.
I pass through tons of people on the way whilst also grabbing no suspicion. I realize that nobody knows me here and they probably don't care, so I give up.
I reach the classroom and there are faces full of will, wit, hope, and love. This is all going to be about 'I' only. Behind all these faces, seemingly sweet and kind faces, lie cunning and villainous fact machines from all around Intra. Ready to betray for a mere mark on the paper.
Beside my seat, I find another guy lying with his head on the desk and perpetually moving his leg at little intervals. Usually, people do this in anxiety, but what was he anxious about? My wonder caused me to make the move but I stopped halfway since I was also anxious. I tried again and almost bit my own tongue.
'Hey.'
No reply. I felt genuinely insulted.
'Hey mate, you alright?'
He moved a little but then again got into his work. Perhaps he loved it.
'Alright, I hate this too. Feels like heaven for the extroverts, but hell for us. I can tell you're a little disclosed by the way you act.'
Still the same reaction. I give up.
I get my current book from my bag and think of reading a chapter or two before the class starts. I swear books are like water, they fill you up. You just need to get them into you, by acting like a good cup.
'It's good.' I hear a deep voice. I search around a little only to find my neighbor, still in the same pose, but talking. He finally raises his head and goes on with a verse from the book that I'm reading.
"Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two makes four. If that is granted, all else follows.' A classic indeed.' Says he, with a little attractive smile.
'Aye, I'm enjoying it so far.'
'The things that we enjoy the most hold the highest potential to destroy us.'
I nod confusingly.
'Myself Draco. Nice to meet you.' He says, with no sign of an introvert.
'Myself Shelly. Nice to meet you too.' I reply, with a rather surprised face due to the sheer strength of his hand.
[After 30 minutes]
'I say that Orwell's 1984 really puts into perspective the chaos that totalitarianism can bring.' Says Draco, deliberately.
'His simplicity is what intrigues me the most; and to be really, like really honest, its complexity is weird too,' I say, as deliberately as my new mate.
'Like, in simple terms, he was and is to this day, too good to be ignored.'
'I'd agree.' Replies Draco. He continues after pausing for a moment.
'Well, after all this interesting talk, I've got to say that you have an exceptional taste in books; which is quite like me. You find practicality in what you read, and unlike others, you don't just read books as a form of escapism.'
'Hmm.' I nod.
That was true. But, If I could diminish all the meaningless and crappy books of humans with no (seemingly) practical applications or lessons, I would never: for no such book exists (there are some exceptions) but one can find all sorts of lessons from a book, that is if they're able enough.
The bell rings and we're led to a huge hall by some big fore-headed muscular men with a sweet tone: which was so unlike their build. One would expect their voices to be more grave, but they were weirdly shrill. All aside, we thought we were going to get beaten up, but I remembered we were sitting in not only one of the most prestigious but also dangerous schools of Intra. Dangerous because in the previous decade, there had been almost twenty attempts to attack it, but none succeeded. It was like a castle, but uninvadable. Don't ask me the reason.
Now we're standing clueless in this grand hall with two huge windows which are said to be one-way, so they were. There was a huge door in the hall's rear that led to the classes and the one in front led to the other side of the school. I couldn't find much info regarding what lies there but I'm sure that the headmaster's office is there. It basically felt like hogwarts for a moment, if it wasn't for the windows and the front door.
Nonetheless, we heard a trumpet's sound to its fullest and I got scared, I didn't see it coming. A young man enters, seemingly feeble but nicely dressed, cigarette in his mouth with a cute cat on his shoulder. He stays still for a minute afterwards and scarcely moves a muscle. He finally shows a gesture as a punch and the door closes. The cat gets off him.
'He seems a little young.' I hear a voice.
Even though I spent my midnight searching up several things about the school, there was no picture of the headmaster, not even on the school's website.
'Welcome to Undalas, a school that needs no introduction whatsoever. So, we or rather I, Sinister Green, might as well get on the topic,' he finally says.
'You're free here. To do whatever you love. To seek whatever you find lulling. To tell or show. To have an opinion out of the norm. You won't be punished for it. You won't be punished even if you question the school's way or rather to be more precise, the staff's way of doing things. But, lads, you certainly don't want to go against the rules and regulations, for they're the backbone of our school and the reason why we're loved and hated the most in the country. It's the sole thing which we cannot, ever, compromise upon. We will give you a brief summary of the school's policies and regulations, which you have to follow no matter what.'
I was moved. Obviously not by the words themselves but by the headmaster's way. So simple, yet the power of moving masses in his voice, perhaps, moved me the most.
'Before that,' he continues. 'I'd like to say that the journey that lies ahead might get your head scratching. And I'm not talking about the school's journey and late-night studies and stuff; these are but minor things in the face of what truly lies ahead, and that is life. But, instead of trying to exclude yourself or escaping from the difficulties, face them. Remember, there's no greater defeat for a man to escape from the trials of his life. Now let's start.'
He went on with the same energy and kept all of us captivated by his fashion. Perhaps, this was all the beforehand speech's doing.
We listened to the rules attentively and whilst returning, I saw men's and women's eyes light up with passion and strangely, love. The headmaster had already built a fort of love inside them. I had not heard someone speak with the same love and the actual desire of getting students somewhere in their life. What an actual tragedy for our society.