I was going to be sick. My stomach lurched as I stepped forward, the stage blank, an open canvas for me to paint on.
"Whenever you're ready Amina, I'll read Egeus' lines," It was a short paragraph primed between my fingers. Barely two sentences but in Shakespearean English it might as well have been a fully fledged monalogue.
I knew this text, this play it was one of my favourites, but the words, scattered across the page as I stared at them. I would make a fool of myself and everyone would see me for what I was. A fraud, putting on a brave face when what lie beneath the surface was a terrified, little girl.
As I stood there, my throat dry, my eyes dragging over the waiting faces, the giggling groups who saw the flush on my face, the shaking of my hands. I felt bile rise up, how awful it would be to throw up in front of everyone. I wasn't afraid of public speaking, but I was afraid of scrutiny.
My mind would not rest a thousand thoughts tearing through my mind. I remembered the scene too well, but before I had been bright-faced, having rehearsed for the role for weeks on end. I didn't know he would be the one decided who made it in. I didn't know people could be so cruel.
Breathe.
"I-I," my eyes caught Zac's the forest of green, stoked the need in me not to fail. It was what they wanted to show me my place, but even then, getting the role was falling into their trap too. It was only when I saw the wicked smirk spread on Ruby's face that I felt the need to try.
Perhaps it was pure spite the drove the words out of me high and clear, I didn't even need to look at the page. I had gone over the words so many times in my mind, I had stared too long, stammered for the last time as I cleared my throat.
I did not let go of his torrential gaze, I stared him down. Zac Valentine would not make a fool of me.
"I do entreat your grace to pardon me," my gaze flicked over to Ms Thatcher who smiled softly, her smile more encouragement that I held close.
"I know not by what power I am made bold, Nor how it may concern my modesty, In such a presence here to plead my thoughts;
But I beseech your grace that I may know
The worst that may befall me in this case,
If I refuse to wed Demetrius." The refusal was clear and crisp. The words tumbling out of me, with more conviction than I ever had before.
Mrs Thatcher read her lines with a smile, and slowly there was a sprinkle of clapping, Cheery was leaping up and down, her smile bright enough to light the sky on the darkest of nights, "Whooo go Amina! That's my friend," and she said it with so much love I almost caved.
I smiled softly. I felt the eyes, they would not leave me as I exited the stage.
Ruby's shoulder shoved against me as she made her way up the stairs, "Watch it," she hissed. But I said nothing. I would not let her ruin the moment of pride I had. I had not messed it up, and even if it meant they got what they wanted, whatever contrived plan they had. It didn't matter to me, because I had performed. Even if it was a few moments. It meant he hadn't destroyed that part of me.
"I'll be surprised if you don't get the part after that," it was an odd admission from the quietest of the group. Marcus appeared genuine, though there was no smile to accompany his words, "It was clear and precise. And I-"
His words trailed off, he did not finish the sentence as Felix voice raised through the auditorium, "I vote for Cheery to be Titania," he had a devilish welded on his features, his arms lifting Cheery from the ground. She shrieked as he swung her around in the air, "A Fairy Queen sounds about right."
Her cheeks flushed, "Mr Rodriguez, as much as I love suggestions" Mrs Thatcher's voice cut through, "You should keep the dramatics to the play. Ruby was just finishing her audition."
"Sorry Rubes," he set Cheery down, a small grin revealing the dimple in the side of his cheek. Cheery was as red as her name sake, shuffling over to me, "I change my murder list. He's right at the top. I swear it, he never knows when to, stop."
"Yeah," I murmured not missing the way she ground her shoe into the linoleum floor, sneaking a glance at Felix when she knew he wasn't looking. "
The auditions continued, bright voices filled the auditorium. In those moments when eyes were only on the performers, I felt comfortable free even, just to watch to enjoy being someone else for a few precious seconds.
"The roles will be announced tomorrow," Mrs Thatcher announced after the auditions were done.
"You're getting that role," Zac whispered to me, convinced of his own words.
"I don't want it." I shot back. "We'll see."