A man with a shock of orange hair sat on his bed, looking out his window.
He wore a black suit that he had donned the day before but hadn't bothered to take anything off besides the suit jacket. He hadn't bothered to lay down, either. There was no point in sleeping. The sun had long set; he predicted it was almost dawn, and he finally understood why the adage, 'darkest before dawn' existed. At least, where its physics came from. He didn't know why he was looking out the window; he couldn't see a thing.
And it didn't look like there would be any dawn in Kurosaki Ichigo's life.
For the thousandth time that day, Ichigo's gaze was drawn to a picture frame, laying face down on his dresser. Stiffly, he reached out and made to stand it upright… but couldn't.
Instead he hunched over and held his head in hands.
"Yuzu…"
He didn't even hear the knock on his door. The door creaked open, and a tall, black-haired young woman stood there in shorts and a tank top. She held a pillow.
Their physical appearances were very different, but they looked equally broken.
"Ichi-nii…"
Ichigo hastily straightened. He cleared his throat. "Karin. Why are you doing up at this time?"
"I could ask the same of you. But we both know why, don't we?"
The answer hung between them; neither grabbed it, but they knew it was there.
After an awkward silence, Karin asked, "Ichi-nii… Can I go over there?"
This startled a laugh out of Ichigo. "Why the hell not?"
"Well, this is your house and I'm technically freeloading…"
Running a hand through his orange hair, Ichigo asked, "Would it have stopped you even if I said no?"
Mutely, Karin shook her head. She shuffled over to the bed and sat on the far end away from Ichigo. He looked at her oddly.
Without even looking at him, Karin read his mind and answered his silent question. "I don't even know why I'm sitting so far away. Maybe it's because Yuzu's gone. Maybe it's because I don't feel like I deserve comfort without her. Warmth." She laughed bitterly. "Definitely not happiness."
Unable to bear seeing his only remaining sister in so much pain, Ichigo made a ruse and motioned to the space beside him. "But I feel like I need warmth." He gave a small smile as Karin raised her eyes to look into his.
"You can't be cold, you still have your suit on…" Nonetheless, she went over and leaned her head against his shoulder. The scent of plums washed over Ichigo, and he momentarily lost himself in that scent.
Karin spotted the frame laying on the dresser, and reached out for it. "Is that – …"
Snapping out of his reverie, in a flash, Ichigo's arm shot out to keep Karin from raising the frame. The pain of seeing all of their family, whole, happy, and together would be too much for the both of them. Especially when they were the only two left.
But she stubbornly pulled the frame out from under his hand and flipped it over.
Ichigo covered Karin's eyes, but it was too late. He closed his eyes in pain when he felt Karin's tears against his hand.
With Yuzu gone, Karin seemed to have inherited her twin's share of tears.
"Idiot… That's why I didn't want you to…"
Ichigo tried to tug the picture out of Karin's hands, but she held on as if her life depended on it. He grit his teeth as he ripped out the picture frame from her hands. The momentum caused them both to tumble over on the bed as the picture landed on the ground with a crash. The frame was gone, as was the picture, and Karin began to openly sob into Ichigo's shirt, clutching the white fabric with both hands.
Ichigo silently held her, breathing in her scent, soaking in her warmth, and burying his face into her silky hair –
He stopped dead in his thoughts. Abruptly, he let go of Karin and got off the bed. "I need to change." With just the two of them left, the thoughts he had been repressing so well for so long were coming back, with a vengeance. Ichigo took off his tear-stained collar shirt and began to don a more comfortable shirt.
When he didn't hear Karin leave, he said sharply, "Oi. I'm changing. Go back to your room."
Her only reply was to curl up on his bed. Sighing, Ichigo took his shirt and shorts and said, "Fine. You sleep here. I'll go to a guest room."
Out of the blue, Karin questioned, "Why won't you sleep with me?"
Ichigo froze.
"We used to do it all the time, you me and Yuzu. I'll leave tomorrow, so let's just sleep in the same room, just for today."
Ichigo quelled what felt uncomfortably like disappointment. "You're a grown woman. You can sleep by yourself."
When he was about to leave, he felt arms wrap around his chest and hold him tightly.
"Please. Don't leave me. Yuzu's gone… and I'm…" Karin's voice grew smaller, as if she didn't want to admit it. "…afraid."
With her bare arms wrapped around his bare chest, her thin tank top the only thing separating his back from her braless breasts, Ichigo momentarily lost control of himself. Roughly pushing Karin off, he whirled around to face her.
"And I'm afraid of what I'll do to you if we stay in this room together! Don't you have any idea what you do to me?"
Karin stared at Ichigo, wide-eyed like a doe. "What I – "
"Don't you know how much I want you?" His voice cracked. Feeling wretched, Ichigo didn't even notice Karin's shocked face expression turn into something akin to hope. Ichigo only focused on how he was having immoral thoughts about Karin on the same day of Yuzu's funeral.
'Technically the day after…' whispered a nasty voice in his head, one that had tormented him with its temptation through all the years.
He barely had time to gather his thoughts before Karin's lips were on his. When she pulled back, Ichigo stared at her in disbelief. She bit her lip, but looked straight into his eyes. "Ichi-nii… I don't deserve it, but I need warmth." Tugging at his arm, she said, "I need you…"
Ichigo was helpless to his younger sister's whispers as she pulled him back into his room.
His head went blank when Karin started kissing him in earnest. Her cool lips felt undeservedly merciful against his uncomfortably hot skin, and her tongue malleable as it touched his. He found himself kissing her back, ferociously, desperately.
A part of Ichigo wondered what his father and Yuzu – and his mother – would think about their illicit actions. But he resented them for leaving the Kurosaki family torn asunder. If his dead family members were the cause of this void in his heart, if he had his younger sister – all of her – would it possibly fill that void? A part of him knew that it couldn't, but it sure seemed damned close enough as his heart pounded, hard enough to explode out of his chest.
So he hungrily kissed Karin, who had hooked her arms around the back of his neck. Ichigo had a similar hook countless times when Karin was a child. Her rowdy declaration of victory was a ghostly echo in his ears, so different from her present shallow breathing and low, sensual voice. Though he knew it was wrong, he was terribly aroused.
They both fell on the bed, the mattress firm enough to bump Karin's hips against Ichigo's. Her breath audibly hitched, and Ichigo, thinking he had somehow hurt her, paused to look into her eyes, panicked.
If he had wanted to look at her to remind himself that she was his sister and he her brother, it was the wrong thing to do. Karin's lips, swollen from kisses – his kisses – combined with her confused face expression – one that Ichigo had found so endearing when they were younger – made her achingly beautiful in his eyes.
"Don't stop…" Karin said breathlessly. At the encouragement, Ichigo started his ministrations again, gently, still afraid of hurting her. Careful not to crush her with his full weight, he began to trail butterfly kisses down her neckline and collarbone.
Seemingly determined to do her part as well, Karin began to tentatively nibble on the tip of Ichigo's ear. He shuddered, and Karin must have felt his reaction as she gained confidence and tugged at his ear with her teeth before she let go softly blew into it.
Ichigo pulled her face to his for another kiss. Karin arched her back, grinding her hips into Ichigo's, causing him to groan against her lips.
He moved his lips back onto Karin's slender neck. As he sucked on her neck, Karin moaned, "Ichi-nii…"
Her low voice kindled a fire in the pit of Ichigo's stomach; he wanted to hear that nickname more from Karin's lips, uttered by her sultry voice.
Karin's legs wrapped around Ichigo's hips and he pulled her shirt off and began to run his tongue over a nipple, toying with the other between his fingertips. When he gently bit down on the sensitive spot, Karin gasped with pleasure, which in turn sent a jolt of exhilaration down Ichigo's spine.
He had long since stopped thinking, and was just moving his body by instinct, for what brought ecstasy to her and satisfaction to him.
Soon enough, save for Karin's panties, nearly all the layers of clothing separating Ichigo from Karin were gone, discarded haphazardly on the bed or floor.
Karin was wet, Ichigo could feel, wet with desire for him, and he wanted nothing more than to fulfill both their needs, just to fill the void. But his reasoning was flawed, and he knew that though the void existed, it was just an excuse to act out his love, a love that was disturbingly different from the brotherly love he had felt for the first half of his life. Ichigo had no idea what went wrong in the latter half, but he wasn't even sure if it was wrong anymore. Something that felt so good couldn't possibly be wrong.
But he paused long enough to whisper hoarsely, "If we go through with this… there's no going back…"
Karin looked up at Ichigo with gleaming eyes.
"I don't care."
She moved, and Ichigo felt the shell of her ear press against his bare chest. "Your heart is beating."
Shifting back up, she drew his head down to her breasts in turn. "So is mine." Ichigo could feel the ragged thumping of her heart. "I don't know about you, but my heart's beating purely for you now, Ichi-nii. You're all I have left. My only family. My only love."
She cupped his cheek with a hand and made him look at her. "I've dreamt of this for years." Even though there wasn't anybody in the house to overhear, they were talking in whispers. Karin brought Ichigo's face close to hers. "I never thought that it would actually happen." She gave him a chaste kiss which felt oddly right, even in that passionate moment. "This moment is worth being damned to hell for the rest of my life."
Ichigo felt the same and conveyed it in three words and one action. "I love you." and he kissed her, first chastely, then deeply.
With no more trepidation, he drew Karin's panties down and slipped his fingers into her moist entrance, watching Karin's face, mesmerized as her expression changed from one of earnestness to one of euphoria. He plunged his fingers deeper, grinning despite himself as she gasped.
All thoughts of guilt about committing this sin right after Yuzu's funeral were temporarily blown away as Karin moaned and slid against his fingers in pleasure.
He pulled his fingers out, wet with her juice. On instinct, he put it to his mouth, and it tasted exquisite, a whole new side of Karin he'd never known – never dared to even imagine. In order to taste more, he began to lower his head to her womanhood, but Karin roughly grabbed his hair to to pull his head back up to hers and gave him a taste of her lips once more.
She gasped his name. "Ichi-nii… I need your warmth…" Their bodies were both plenty warm now, so Ichigo took it to mean what she said next, "I need you."
This was the last chance to back out. Once they passed this line, there was no return. Their lives would never be the same. Hell, they'd never be the same after any of this experience. So looking down into Karin's eyes and seeing the resolution there, Ichigo readied himself to enter her.
Karin, his cute but tomboyish younger sister.
Karin, his feisty but lost younger sister.
Karin, his stormy but beautiful younger sister.
Before he lost his nerve or either of them could change their minds, Ichigo plunged into the Karin he both knew and didn't know.
He winced at her sharp cry, and both wince and cry turned into sighs of ecstasy as he eased himself deeper and deeper into her.
Feeling how tight her walls were, Ichigo wondered with the small portion of his mind that still functioned whether it was her first time. It might have been; she was the type who would have staunchly opposed premarital sex. Or saving herself for that special someone, whom to his knowledge, she had never met.
But she was still giving herself to him. That spoke volumes about how much she trusted him. Of course she trusted him; she had known him all her life. He had known her for all of hers. And she loved him as a man, and that one thought wiped away everything else in his mind.
As their bodies molded to each other, they became one. In the course of a few strokes, they transformed from brother and sister into lovers, two halves of a whole. This was more than just sex; they were making love; love they hadn't been able to show for years, not only to the public, but to each other.
For the first time in ages, Ichigo showed a more playful side to him as he teased Karin, pretending to withdraw his manhood from Karin completely, making her squirm and gasp in protest and need, before he gave into desire and thrust into her again, groaning as he felt her contract around him. Karin cried out his name for him several times, and he answered with a growl and a harder thrust, addicted to her voice, to her body, to her.
The second time Ichigo teased Karin, instead of waiting for him to re-enter her, she yowled and dug her nails into his back and pulled herself to him, pushing him farther into her. With a power Ichigo had forgotten she had, Karin flipped them over so she was on top. Ichigo, intoxicated with this bliss, stared up at Karin, who was panting with ecstasy as she maneuvered up and down his length.
Finally, Ichigo was on top and leading their delirious euphoria once again.
They moved together as one, breathed together as one, and finally released together as one. Then they separated, panting.
After she had caught her breath somewhat, Karin rolled into her brother's arms. He welcomed the Karin he now fully knew and began to stroke her hair.
"Ichi-nii…"
"Mm?"
"You'll always be here, right?"
Ichigo held back a snort as he drew back to look at Karin, tucking a stray lock of tousled hair behind her ear. "Why the hell not?" The direction of this of series of questions seemed familiar, and Ichigo realized it had taken place when Karin had first entered the room. It was less than an hour ago, but it felt like ages; there had been so many revelations in between.
Karin snuggled into Ichigo's chest. "Well, because in all rights, I should leave tomorrow. I can't trespass on your hospitality any more."
Ichigo rolled his eyes; why would a brother willingly letting his younger sister stay with him be considered as trespassing? "What would you do if I said no?" Ichigo asked curiously. It wasn't like he could stop her from doing what she wanted anyways. Sister or lover, he knew Karin's true nature.
He could hear the pout in Karin's voice. "Kiss the hell out of you and ask you why the hell not."
Ichigo managed a twisted grin. "Getting kissed the hell out of sounds tempting. But what would you do if I say yes?"
"Kiss the hell out of you and continue on from there."
Ichigo drew Karin to his chest. "Even though the answer is obvious, since you're so dense, I'll break it down for you: I'll be here for you, steadfast."
The sun began to rise as Karin smiled and pressed her lips to his, keeping her promise.
As they began to make love again, the two silently agreed that they would confront the consequences later. Just one more day. A day more of pleasure and heaven, before they would be bumped cruelly back down into a lonely world that condemns incestuous relationships, where they would have to hide their love.
A cruel world where they only had each other.
But that would be enough.