My mom and I spent our time together in the house quitely, I scribbled and scribbled tons of drawings, my mind was torn apart from these events, my mind is slowly loosing it's sanity but what made me still kept on held bent over, the reason why I never take to initiate to be insane and loose control was him. Be that as it may, it's what my heart yearns for.
The night is coming, this looming fear gnawing my heart it's there ever seeking to me when he's coming home, I want to escape, I want relief myself of this painful tragic life, I want to see the vastness that the world can give it may not bee literally but something to look for, something to keep me to stay, a reason to cling my hands unto.
I want to hear your voice one more time,your voice that calms the burning passion that has also ignited my heart, I want to spend my time with you alone, let our smiles be contagious of our days together, let the happiness swallow our days together, I want that for us both yet fate follows us with these bad omen, I want it to end.
"Please, can someone end it all"
The scream of agony, the creaking door from the scratches of my mother makes, her teeth clenching from the pain, moans and grunts as she is being pushed by the force of my father's pace of drive in her. They continue as if I were an object displayed. It's not as if mother doesn't notice me, I locked myself in this room of mine thinking that I'm safe from father's hands of lust, desperation and madness. Lust that is fueled by anger and stress, the frustrating will to live to get money, I know it. He wants money to the point he hurts us, to the point where he lost his own sanity. I remember one year ago his smile, free and kind. A father who tattoos that had respect.
"Fuck" he says.
I ran of my room wanting to go outside, I'm sorry mother but I can't seem to find peace in this chaotic house. He stopped when he sees me running towards the door, her face covered in dry tears were somewhat saying relief. As if she was saying go wherever your path carries you, he stood up stopping himself from raping her continuously,she grabbed his legs with all her might as i successfully opened the door.
"Damn Bitch let go!"
He swayed her away thumping herself on the floor, he clicked his tongue.
"Damn Brat where will you go huh?!" He screams.
I ran and ran, fastly running towards the tall buildings that are businesses, I pass by through some restaurants, stores and such, this was a town but looks like a city than a town, the sounds of engenes from cars, the loud noises of people, the sounds of music rolling in the air, there were different things that I saw, my heart clenches, my tears flowed because I needed to continue running from the past that I remember.
"Hey Dad can you get me that?" I said while pointing at those toys in the toy catcher in the arcade. There are plushies and teddy bears as well and there were many people playing games. Some even dances on tile games, some shoots accurately in that zombie game,some people shoots the ball correctly in the basketball game.
"Of course" he smiled
He was thoroughly and calm than now, he eagerly wanted to catch the toy that I want for myself and he got it successfully in one try.
"Here your toy Dino"
"Yay!"I jumped in happiness "Does Papa love Dino?"
"Yeah"
"Carry me!"
He obeyed it, he carried me gently and I was happy. He had a soft smile back then, it was last yearw before things got hazy for me and mom. He had tattoos that men praise it, the women look at him and me with lustful eyes although it's for him not me. To be honest he was way more handsome with his soft smile and attitude, his tattoos didn't mean like he was a bad guy he just wanted these kind of art on his body, cause it was cool.
"You're like a princess with those eyes Zen"
"My eyes?"
He nodded "It's very similar to the color of trees, emerald and the green sea, your eyes mesmerizes others too, they also have a hint of blue shades so it's like seeing the world full of green and blue altogether when seeing your eyes"
"Do I?"
"Yup"
"Plus your hair is black and fluffy like mine it compliments your eyes, your eyelashes too are long, your lips are like mine too haha almost a carbon copy of me"
The only difference is that his eyes are Amber, I always look at it when I had the chance, it's so beautiful.
"Tokito!"my mom shouts.
"Oh hey! how'd it go?"
"I got it! I won the raffle and got some groceries from winning lucky huh?"
My mother has a unique red hair,green eyes she is very sexy as well, men sought for her my father said. She was very cheerful and modest as well.
We also go to amusement parks together.
"Look MaMa!can we ride that next?" I said looking at the ferris wheel with sparkles.
"Sure! Here we go!"
We had gone to swimming on the beach.
"Here!" He splashed seawater to her.
"Ah wait! that's unfair!hyaaahh"she splashes back.
What I was doing was digging under the gravel covered in wet sand , I dug up to pile the gravel wanting to create a castle, I put up some gravel together as a base then covered it with wet sand along with my bucket, there I built my sand castle.
We had picnics together.
The winds blows gently,my mom and father kissing together and we eat together. Our food being homemade lunches.
The winter snow falls, the sheer cold lets me tremble a bit although it's very warm because of my jacket and gloves, I built a castle on the front of our house since the snow is piling up. I hid from my castle waiting for my father to come home, I packed a bunch of snowballs and throw this at him. There he walks home and I threw one to him.
"What the?"
"Zen?"
"Hehe"
"Hold up I'll catch you!"
"No!"
I ran laughing away from him, unfortunately he caught me fast which was disappointing. He carried me into his harms hugging me gently.
"Okay time to go home"
I pouted "but I wanna play"
He sighed "But it's cold outside you can't play now"
I pouted more as we were welcomed by the woman of the house my mother with her delicious food that was made for that night.
It was a blast having those days for us three,but he couldn't hold it any longer till the day he bought alcohol frequently, his attitude to mother changed. Their battles of shouting to each other to the point he hit her with no regrets and assaulted her first time in front of me. I was devastated, the child that to witness those was me and me alone. I didn't resist the scene nor like it in a way, it is both horrific and disgusting. A sex with no consent, an uncontrolled force and eagerness.
"You brat stop running!"He comes closer and closer by second and caught me, I ran fast but it's no use for me cause he was fast such an unfairness between an adult and a child.
I struggled wanting to escape his grasps.
"Argh! You!" He punched me and it felt hell for me I continued on struggling.
"Let me go! You're not my dad!give him back to me demon!give me back my dad! You're not him! I want my daddy to come back!" I screamed.
"Tch"
I am weak at all, I can't force out myself on this situation, it's dire that I have to escape, I need to go to the most safest place I can find,I want to end it once and for all, for the sake of my mother I at least need to be safe. I know I'll be dependent on you Keith but I need to because that's the only option I can take.
"Aizen!"shouted of my mom, she quickly ran to us both wanting him to let me go, she successfully did it and I ran again I was against time but before I could know it while I was running there was an upcoming car coming towards my direction on the road, my mom widened her eyes in fright, my dad did also but was stunned.
"Aizen!" She shouted as she stride towards me catching my body covering me upon the crash of both her and the car colliding, the force made her and I flew to the road.
The one who drove the car quickly gets out of the scene as if panic, my dad watched us laying on the ground. My body was in pain, mom was unconscious, every part of me electrified with pain all over, my head hurts, my eyes starting to get hazy. I can't process at all what's happening.
"K-Kaguya?Aizen?"
I was stunned at what happened my wife trying to rescue our son in a blink of an eye, I stare at their body together, my wife was holding him, tucked in her gentle hands, they were covered in bruises, wounds and blood. This scene was not processed unto me, luckily one person in this neighborhood called an ambulance who saw the action, for I stayed stunned, I walked closer to laying bodies on the road, my body trembles, my mind in pure horror, my caressed my wife's hair with my son. My breathe seems to be unstable, I want to speak up but It looks like I would stutter.
"A-Aizen?Kaguya?Hey"
My son was conscious and held unto him gently and carefully not moving his body, he focused his gaze unto me, my eyes started to hurt, my head getting dizzy, look at this tiny body of my son covered in vile injuries that I made. Why did it get to this point.
"Dad...it hurts" he said in his weakly breath.
I gasped as my tears fall to his face, I cried and screamed, it is my fault it got this way, I was so stressed I couldn't focus on towards my family, I never thought of them being both gone in my life at all just this moment, I was a savage to them, an animal, a prick who deserves no one, I can't change a thing at all, It was my responsibility to take care of my son and wife I was the one who crashed into her life making her fall in love with me and made our son together fuck this I can't take this.
My son's eyes closed and I flinched, I threw myself into panic my voice seems to be stunned by this scenery, it was reality crashing unto me. I tried to avoid reality by drinking alcohol, by hurting then in the process, I could've made peace with them if i could have done it sooner, forgiveness is no longer in sight for me at this moment, only a nightmarish hell can wait for in the depths of hell.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH PLEASE HELP MY WIFE AND SON!!!" I screamed out of my lungs.
I want to disappear so that I'll suffer in hell, if they do manage to survive maybe they can carry on by themselves, I hate it, this life of mine, being fired by my boss so abruptly,being bluntly accused and talked in the back of my colleagues, this life is shit, I want to escape this life. I'm on the rope's end, I'm sure it's gotta be a hell of a price, I laughed to myself then I passed out.