I sighed a few times as I stood up at a huge door in front of me as my mind debated whether to open it or not. I could hear the music and laughter of those people behind this door, I composed myself and took another deep breath while gripping the doorknob and turned it but I still don't have the confidence to open it, I clenched my fist and dauntlessly touched the doorknob once again. It isn't my first time going here but right at this moment, I felt like it was.
I understand that I am not welcome inside because, from the very first place, I know that they didn't want me for him anymore, especially her. She loathed me to the point that she would forcefully push me away from her son, but I am still here making myself stupid and fool while hoping that one day, she would finally accept me as her son's girlfriend. I didn't do something for her to despise me this much and I don't have any idea why she hated me. I would have just let her go but she's getting too much.
She even makes up stories that Xander allegedly exchanged me for a woman who is more beautiful, rich, and wealthier than me. To the woman who is more deserving and worthy than a person like me. I violently opened the door of that room to get their full attention, but something caught my attention more. No, not something but someone.
His parents were not around especially Xandra, his older sister. Only his friends and cousins were there, but I didn't pay any attention to that. I just focused on my boyfriend with a girl beside him while they were both busy kissing each other that made me stilled in disbelief.
One of his friends tried to make them stop, and he succeeded as he pointed his pointing finger in my direction. I saw how stunned he was in his seat when he saw me now staring at him without any trace of emotion on my face. He looks at me in horror.
"Surprise." I trailed off as I avert my gaze at the girl beside him and vice versa.
I could hear nothing but my heart beats so fast as if horses were running inside it. Everybody's eyes were on me, but I still don't give a damn. I saw how he shoved the girl away from him as he walked towards me but I halted him right away using my hand.
It hurts. Yes, the pain I feel at these times is too much to bear. But even though it was painful, I didn't show it. I will never let them see me at this state. I will never allow myself to give them a chance to see me weak and vulnerable. To see how affected I am and hurt by what just happened at the same time.
I composed myself once again and gaze at him without any expression that can catch a glimpse on my face.
"Y-ynnah-"
"Stop." I cut him off. I don't need any explanation from him because what I saw was all enough to realize everything.
I am not a masochist just to ignore the fraud he committed and my mind was closed for his stupid explanations!
"Ynnah please-"
"I said stop! Are you deaf or just stupid?" I couldn't stop myself from shouting.
"Hey, miss! What's your problem with my boyfriend? Who are you to yell at him? " the woman he kissed earlier entered.
I sophisticatedly raised my brow and eyed her from head to toe. "Boyfriend huh?" I said as I glared at Xander who was now bent over. "Then he's all yours. After all, you're just a garbage collector, aren't you? "
"How dare you!" She was about to hit me when Xander stopped her from doing so.
"Don't you ever dare lay a hand on her!" Xander exclaimed which made her stilled in disbelief.
"What the hell, babe? I am your girlfriend but you are defending her against me?" She asked bewildered.
"So, you haven't told her yet that you already have a girlfriend which is me? Oh well, it's alright. I don't mind cause I don't care anymore." I gazed at her once more with my head held high. "I am Ynnah Francine Seung, his first love and his girlfriend since our high school days, but now his ex."
"What the hell?" The girl turned to Xander in disbelief. But Xander didn't pay any of his attention to her but to me.
I could see how his eyes went wide after hearing those words from me. "Y-ynnah no-"
"Let's break up. " I finally said before he finishes anything he was about to say as I turned my back to walk away. He was about to run after me but the girl stops him from doing so.
"What the fuck is she talking about?!" I heard the girl exclaimed it before I could finally get out of the room's door.
The moment that I finally came out of that room, the tears that I had been holding back from earlier came out.
So, he's been cheating on me all this time with that bitch behind my back? How dare him? He has the guts to do that fucking bullshit? Did he think I would chase? Fuck him! Not in a million times!
I didn't become foolish and didn't make myself stupid just to be cheated on! I did everything just to make his Mom accept me for him. But I guess, my foolishness will end up here. Right at this moment. Did he assume that I will chase him after he cheated on me? After making me believe that he will never find someone else because he already have me? Never! In his stupidest dreams!
My chest was so heavy when I left that place while my tears were starting to flow again because of the extreme pain that I was feeling right now and at the same time, it rained heavily. I don't care where my feet take me as long as I want to get away from that place. My vision is dimming because of the tears that blocking my sight, and the rain that pouring mercilessly. I look up at the clear dark sky with its raindrops dropping on my face.
Isn't it's odd? Crying under the heavy rain with a heavy heart? It's like I'm in K-dramas. But K-dramas ended up with a happy ending while my story ends in such a stupid way.
I chuckled at myself nonchalantly while realizing something. I'm totally a fool. I think I was being too silly.
My feet brought me to the park, it was a children's park. There were few people here enjoying the coldness of the raindrops pouring continuously. Some of them were children playing hide and seek while some were chasing each other. My tears dripped even more that you wouldn't notice because of the rain. I miss my childhood days, the ones you have nothing to worry about but studying, homework, and playing games until you get bored. No pains, no grief just pure happiness.
I noticed that I could no longer feel the raindrop on my body even though it was still raining. I look up and realize that there was an umbrella above me. I turned behind and saw the person who owned it. A man with its all-black outfit. I stared at his coal-black lackluster eyes which were he did the same. It's like a black diamond screaming a different kind of beauty despite its dullness.
But I have this weird feeling that those eyes weren't as what it seems to be. It was like a maze that you will lose if you'll stare that much into his gems. But before I lost in his stares I look away immediately and tried to compose myself and let out a deep breath.
"What are you doing? And who are you? " I asked as I recovered from our stares. I also feel a little dizzy and cold.
"It's raining, you shouldn't be here," he said without answering my questions.
I composed myself once again as I give him a why-do-you-care look that he doesn't also get. I wanted to be alone and I hate somebody's presence this time. But I don't want to be rude to him because I know he just wanted to help.
"You know what? You don't have to do this. I can manage myself besides I'm on my way home. " I spoke.
"You look pale, your eyes were tired. You're not okay and you can't go home by yourself. You look sick and anytime by now, you'll collapse. "
My mouth slightly parted.
Is he kidding me? I am just broken.
"You're kidding, right? I'm just broken not sick." I said as I turned my back and was about to walk away but my vision became blurry out of a sudden as I felt my knees wobbled. The last thing I knew was my sight dimmed and my knees haven't supported the body.
Then total darkness.
"Ynnah!" Suddenly, I woke up because of Liza shaking me on the arm to wake me up from my deep sleep.
I noticed that we were still on the train and traveling to Seoul from Busan. How long have I slept?
In my dream. I don't know but since that day I've always been dreaming about the same event that I should have forgotten for a long time.
The breakup that happened to Xander and me, and the mysterious man dressed in black from head to toe with his eyes were as black as a coal. His dull eyes which look like a gem and a confusing path of the unknown.
But all I wonder is why I can no longer remember his face every time I wake up. I only remember his coal-black lackluster eyes and his posture.
Who is he?