'It's no way a father should treat his daughter.'
"Dad," I say back when he calls my name.
"Why don't we take this inside?" Mom asks, I can tell by the look she is sending my way that she is trying to not end this in a total disaster but I think things just turned the wrong way. I don't know what to take inside anymore.
Maybe I should have picked to come when Dad was not around because except for him, yarrow and Mom seemed happy to see me and I am happy to see them too.
I raise my head to look at Kai and he offers me an encouraging smile.
We entwine our hands in one another before we step inside a house that I used to call home but that really wasn't and just feels not it either.
Not because of anything but because my home is with this man holding my hand.
We walk inside, dad is already in the living room in a seat they set a little far away from the fire pit holding baby Sumac in his arms.
"Do you want something to drink?" Mom asks but I shake my head.
I realized then that it's very possible to feel like a stranger in your own family's home.
"Water is fine." Kai says beside me and walks to take one of the seats with Yarrow following behind."
"So is it true you got engaged?" Yarrow's question makes me look over to my dad and he also looks at me.
We hold each other's gaze and stop when Mom walks back into the living room with Kai's water.
"Thank you."
"Oh, it's no problem." She takes the seat beside Yarrow in front of us.
"What I told you is true, Sam got engaged," Yarrow says to my mother.
My mother's gaze moves from my eyes to the ring on my fourth finger before shifting back to my eyes.
"Oh."
"Now you owe me my grand mom, I told you it was her?" I frown at Yarrow's words.
"You bet on my engagement?" He looks at Mom and then shrugs.
"Mom wouldn't accept that it was you but when I heard the name of the man, I knew it was you."
"I didn't even know you were that interested in me or that the news got here?" He winks at me but I just shake my head. "I really don't know what's worse now."
"Oh, I kept my tab on you." I shake my head unbelievably.
"You didn't want us to know about your engagement?" Mom asks and I try to not take the sadness in her voice but I can't help it. I shake my head again. "It's not that," I shrug my one shoulder. "I think I preferred to have brought the news myself."
I checked in with Leila and Lucas but it didn't occur to me to say anything to Yarrow or my family till now. I would have said something to Savannah if I knew where she was but obviously, no one does and it's when it hits me that I haven't questioned how they feel.
"Mom."
"Hmm."
"Am sorry about what happened to my sister." She looks sad instantly when I say that. "Oh, sweetheart it's not your fault."
"No one has heard from her?" I ask but when she starts crying again I realize I might have brought a subject that I really shouldn't have.
"Am sorry, I shouldn't have asked." She sniffles as she tries to keep her cries in control.
"No sweetheart, it's not your fault in fact…" she stops and sniffles as she looks at Dad before bringing her eyes back to me.
She gets on her feet and I think she is just leaving for a moment but then she walks around the coffee table that was between me and her and comes to knee in front of me.
What is happening?
"My sweetheart am so sorry." I watch tears filling her gaze and she sobs there on my knees.
I don't know what is happening.
Am taken by surprise by what is happening that my brain doesn't know how to function anything anymore.
"I am so sorry, after…after what we did me and your dad the other…w..we've regretted it every second of the day, and then your father did an investigation of the man that took advantage of you a…and we found out it was all lies." She stops and lets out a broken sob making me feel for her.
Oh my God, they did what?
Yarrow never told me that.
I raise my head to look up at him but his gaze is lowered so is Dad's.
I turn to Kai beside and he nods his head as he understands.
"We…we were so embarrassed so heartbroken and then when we confronted your sister for it, she got so mad and in the moment. Y…your sister turned out to be a different person…" her sobs are so heartbreaking.
"We are sorry sweetheart, we are very sorry." I got on my knees and held my mother as she cried.
She kept mumbling about how sorry she was as she filled the living room and the whole house with the sound of her cries.
Eventually, baby Sumac also started crying, their combined cries filling the whole house.
Dad had to step out with baby Sumac and I kept comforting my mother until she calmed down.
I don't know what was happening.
Dad came back alone, probably after feeding baby Sumac and getting him to sleep.
"Ivy, come on let's get you to rest."
"No." She shakes her head moving out of my arms at the mention of my dad's suggestions.
"No, Barney. Am not going to lose my daughters for the sake of your pride, please apologize to her. I told you so many times that what we did was so unfair to her. He told us the truth and we would not believe it but we've found it out ourselves." She points her index finger at Kai and I turn to look at him confusedly.
He told them what?
What is happening?
"You investigated your truth." By now she is poking her index finger on my father's chest angrily. "You knew the truth in your heart before everything else, you knew your daughter very well Barney, we knew better. All this time you were just in denial of how your anger and pride got the best of you but not anymore."
What is happening?
I think it's my first time seeing mom go beyond dad like this.
She is always been supportive, and they have always been together on everything.
"Mom, Dad," I say getting up on my feet.
"What is happening?" Mom turns to look at me and she looks so messy. I have never seen her like that before.
Her face is flushed, her nose is turning red and so are her ears. Her eyes are red.
And a few minutes ago she was just fine, what is going on?
"I... I really didn't come here to make things worse than it already was." I say slowly. "In fact, I don't.."I bite on my lower lip not knowing how to put my words.
Kai gets on his feet too and intertwines our hands, I look down at them and then up at him.
His gaze is on me, I drench every support and strength I can muster in his ocean-like gaze before I turn to my parents.
"I don't know what brought me here, I…I got engaged in the past two weeks. I know what you have to say or might think of me but again I don't care about it really, I...I just came to share this news with you, I missed you so much, I wanted to see baby Sumac. I-I wanted to see how you were. I wanted to let you know that I was also doing okay if you still cared. I…" I bite my lower lip feeling like I have reached the edge of breaking too.
Kai pulls me closer in his comfort and I cry for a moment in his embrace.
Before I pull back and look at my parents.
"We will go," I say to them.
"And please forgive me because I didn't want to make things worse than it already was. Am so sorry." I finish apologizing quickly and tighten the hold Kai has on my hand before I step to the side wanting to run, get so far away from here.
I wanted to go somewhere and cry my misery out to the world.
I could not break in front of my family like this.
Coming here was turning out to be the worst decision of my life.
We step to the side of the coffee table getting ready to walk out of the living room when we hear someone say.
"Wait." We stop but I don't dare look back.
"You haven't seen Sumac yet."
It's my dad.
What?
I slowly turned to look back to see if I heard him right.
"What?" I whisper to him.
"You said you wanted to see Sumac and you haven't seen him yet."
"Is that all you are going to stay?" Mom asks him but he doesn't turn to look at her, he keeps his brown gaze on me.
"No." He shakes his head subtly.
"Can you… spare me some time. You could take it as the waiting time for Sumac's nap."
I nod. "Sure." I let go of Kai's hand and wiped the tears from my eyes.
I guess the crying will come after.
We walk back to the seat we were occupying and sit right back.
Dad and Mom are standing where they still stand.
"Am sorry darling." I look up at Dad.
"I am so ashamed of the way I treated you the other night, as your mother told you. After receiving Trenton's message telling us your story I reflected on what I did an…and, and I did some investigation and realized that we were so harsh on you for nothing. We are so sorry, please forgive us, darling.
I will understand if you want nothing to do with us anymore because of what we did to you. That was no way for us to treat you. Every day since…, we live in agony, and shame. I am so disgusted with what I did, I know you don't owe us anything but like your mother said, I really can't let you go again without apologizing." I blink and blink but nothing makes sense.
"We've been living in so much shame that we weren't able to try and come to apologize for what we did." he shakes his head. "I know these are vain words and I will understand whatever you choose to do and I won't condemn you for anything if you want nothing to do with us because the way I treated you… There's no way a father should treat his daughter. I should have known better, I knew better I just didn't realize that your sister needed help and all these times were jealous of you. Am so sorry." I can't believe what my ears are transforming to my mind is what is being said.
There is a moment of silence between us.
"Now, after what happened with you, I learned of everything and my anger got the best of me again a…and I got into another horrific argument with my other daughter, she ran from home. She doesn't want to live with us. It makes me wonder what I did wrong or where I went wrong that I am being punished for."
"Did you find Savannah?"
I look at Dad but I am replied by Yarrow.
"She recently booked a flight to Ohio to our grandparents." I look at him but before I make up what to ask he continues.
"She said she doesn't want to live with any of us, that we chose you over her."
"What?"
When did all these happen? Why didn't anyone say a thing?
It suddenly hit me what Dad was trying to say.
It's after a long silence that I say in a small voice.
"Dad."
"Am sorry." He says and it makes tears run down my cheek.
My God, he is sorry. He asking for forgiveness.
"Am sorry too," I say to him but he shakes his head.
"Please don't be, you didn't do anything wrong, I did." I close my eyes feeling so overwhelmed.
The room is so full of emotions.
Am crying, Mom's crying and so is Dad.
Everything feels so bittersweet.
Kai pulls me closer to his chest and I cry on his clothes.
When did my family turn to this?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~