"I knew you'd be here, you always go into this pub whenever we have a bad match" a familiar gruff voice came from my back.
Gustav Fernandez, aka Vanguard 'the Wall'. We have been teammates for more than a year. I'm sometimes quite jealous of him since he has a moniker. People just call the strategist of the team, or something like that, nothing concrete by the CoA community. Can't blame them though, I don't have any skills that stood out, except for my strategies and tactics, which unfortunately didn't do any help to our most recent series of matches.
"Here to blame me for the loss too?" I replied without looking.
"You know the fault lies in the whole team we lost back then, not just on you, right?" after pondering for a second, he continued. "Though you are the one who suggested our battle plan, so it probably is mainly your fault."
"Not helping," I said irritably.
He sat next to me and ordered the same bottle of rum as mine, before continuing.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm getting replaced too you know," he said gruffly.
"So, you know about the news?"
"Yeah... The management wants to build a new team from scratch. Now that our contracts are about to expire, nothing is going to stop that from happening. I'll probably find another team eventually though. There are always many teams who change their roster after the AC tournament concludes. And if it doesn't go the way I want, I could always easily join any tier 2 pro team with my experience.
"Well good for you"
"Not planning to join me this time in team hunting?" he asked a little surprised.
"Probably not," I said curtly
"That's surprising. What do you plan to do?"
I looked up at the lights of the bar, it was dim, with a good ambiance. The main reason why I love to drink at this place. It is quite relaxing.
"I'm not sure myself, probably retire? I'm getting too old for this shit," I replied tiredly
"What! Why? I thought your dream was to win a second AC before you retire?" he replied a bit shocked.
"We didn't even qualify for it this year. I'm already 27 and my skills are already rusting because of my age and diminishing drive to improve myself. I can't wait another year just to play in the tournament." I reasoned.
"So what? You plan on quitting CoA just like that?" he said with a hint of aggravation.
"...I'm not quite sure myself." I pondered as I shook my shot glass.
After a short while, I continued.
"When I first started CoA, it was the best thing that happened to me. I worked hard, and I'm motivated in playing to improve, I also found close friends online while playing and formed a team. We eventually won the AC with that same team. After that though, it's always full of pressure. Pressure in being a title holder, as 'THE' very first AC champion, is unsurmountable. The pressure of always being the captain of my team is also getting too hard for me to handle. You need to work extra hard in keeping your team together and prepare battle strategies with the coach against your opponent. You also always take the blame whenever your team loses or plays badly. Frankly, I'm getting tired... But you already know how hard it is since you were also a captain back then before we teamed up."
"Yeah, if it weren't for your team, we would've been the first AC champion. I still resent you for that you know."
"If you want to resent someone, resent that girl who destroyed you guys at the finals."
"Argghh, don't remind me. It was fucking humiliating getting soloed back then by a player 3v1, especially in the finals. I had nightmares from that match for weeks. That girl is a different kind of monster." He shivered.
"I get what you mean. I know it all too well playing as her teammate... Though her drive to win during that first AC tournament was entirely on a whole new level."
"Yeah, I noticed that too, as if her life depended on getting the cup. Never seen a player that determined to win before. It's such a shame she just quit though. I've always wanted a revenge match with her."
"...A shame indeed."
That girl has been always secretive even when in-game. She always uses a voice changer and sometimes even ignores us like she's an entirely different person. When the tournament ended, she didn't even go online a single time in CoA and also never responded to our in-game PMs. Something must have happened after that tournament. I hope she's doin' fine wherever she is now.
We transition into a comfortable silence for a while, slowly taking our shots. Until he suddenly piped up a question.
"Do you really plan on quitting CoA?" he asked genuinely.
I pondered for a moment. Thinking about what to do from now on.
"Probably, I mean, what use is there for someone as untalented as me? We both know CoA is different from most of the other strategical e-sports. Skills are what matters in CoA. Cheap things like strategies won't win against pure raw skills. There are monsters out there that defy logic and completely ignore tactical advantages. You know, I'm not as good as those monsters."
"I completely disagree, I won't let anyone talk shit to my rival like that, even if it is you doing the shit talk."
"Heh, thanks man, that means a lot..." I smiled at that.
Another silence, a lot shorter this time before Fernandes suggested something.
"I think that it's a waste for you to leave the pro scene completely though. Why not try becoming a coach so you could put that big head of yours to use?"
His suggestion hit me like a truck.
Realization begins to dawn on me. If winning my second AC tournament as a player is impossible, why not use my strategies and leadership into building a team that can win it for me? Why not use all my experience and knowledge in the game to recruit players full of potential to become monsters in the game?
My heart pumped fast and loud like a bass drum. This feeling, it has been so long since I last experienced it. I barely remember it from when I first built the team Paragon from scratch. A dream. A vision. A desire to create the strongest team that will shake the world of CoA.
"You know, you do say good things sometimes." I grinned.