I asked the question that no one had ever dared to ask.
Everyone at the table sat in intense stillness, complete and utter silence dragging on and lengthening the time. These seconds passed by like minutes, lasting much longer than it should have. It was so quiet that a single crumb of bread dropped on the floor from my plate, and it banged against the wooden ground like a Hammer smashing a nail into a wall.
I shuffled in my chair uncomfortably, folding my fist and bringing it to my mouth to cover my cough. My throat had never felt this dry before, it was like I swallowed all the cotton used on my bedding and ate it. Pearls of sweat bleed through my pores, and suddenly, this wide spaced room felt like a smoldering lava pit.
Cheesy and Sharp were exchanging awkward glances, both mouthing whispers of regret; Their eyes swerving across the adjacent side of the table, and then back to me.
This was between Mother and I.
She was silent. I was silent. My eyes were focused on hers, intently and solely at that moment, wanting to find something. To search for some sort of truth, some sort of revelation.
Mother's pupil's expanded, her eyeballs enlarging like two, round spheres that were gravitating towards a solar body, somewhere out in space. Lips screwed shut into a tightened pucker, two wrinkles printed tiny holes in the top of her head. Goosebumps pimpled all over my body as I watched how even the fur in her face had ejected up, turning into millions of minuscule white and gray furs that stood taller than any shoulder.
I couldn't back down now, it wasn't fathomable. The frustration was overbearing, overfilling, and I couldn't handle it anymore. Maybe Cheesy and Sharp didn't mind living in this disillusioned comfort zone, but not me. I was made for more, so I would ask for more.
I cleared my throat and repeated the question.
"Mother- it's just..." I paused, feeling my heart in my throat. Breathing in slowly, I decided to start again.
"Its just we've lived here for sooo long. For too long. We grew up in here, took our first steps in here, ate in here, argued in here, laughed in here...we've done everything here already. We get up every day, play Dratsmate, eat and..that's it. I want to go outside Mother. I want to climb trees and eat foods that are on them, not scuffle about in a garbage can, or scour through cupboards. I want to swim in rivers and and-" I raised my hands in the air, feeling the nervousness settle to the pits of my stomach.
My voice was getting shaky, but I continued, nonetheless.
"I want to experience the wild outdoors Mother. I want to see different places, taste different foods, meet other rodents like us. There's got to be more outside there than just vicious animals that are out to get at us rodents. There just has to be"
" Now you hold on one minute there Burrow" Mother stood up from where she was, the pink palms of her hands facing us as she rose them up in frustration. Mince had heard enough.
She gazed at me, watching me deeply in my eyes, not blinking. Not flinching. She just sat there, with the most infuriated expression. Upon laying eyes on her I hastily varied my sight down to my feet, regretful that I had decided to express my concerns with our situation. I felt something in my body shudder, a nervousness bubbling up in the pits of my stomach. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, resting her hands on the table.
"I knew this day would come." She admitted. Leaning over she rubbed the inner temples in the middle of her head, mumbling something under her breath. She straightened up in her seat with a face devoid of any sort of emotion.
"I understand your concerns, Burrow. . After all, you are at the age of exploration. In fact, when I was your age, I had gone through so much already." Her voice had gone to a steady pitch, surprisingly, she had been talking in a very calm demeanor.
"I've been through the greatest adventures in my youth, alongside Family and trusted friends. Uncle Buck, Aunty Ann, my cousins Fred, Rick, Sound, Smise and Jim. And most importantly, my best friend Peaches. And Andrew...." I sighed, rolling my eyes away when she glanced away for a minute.
Heeerreee she goes again, talking about her Family and their messed up past.
" All of us living in large logs, in tree roots or bunks in the forest. Abandoned buildings or trucks. Just living life the bunch of us, carefree, meeting up with other rodents" the corners of her mouth lifted up into a warm smile as she reminisced over memories of the past.
"Back in my early days, when I was about two years past the age of you all, I remember my best friend Peaches and I use to venture into this beautiful garden at the yard of a holding of this Giant that lived in the woods. Ohhh!! It was astoundingly beautiful. We had never seen anything like it. She had the most colorful flowers ever...bright orange yellow daffodils, soothing lavender buds, crimson Hibiscus. And the fruits trees she had in that yard. In fact, she had a huge peach tree that me and Peaches liked to raid. There were soooo many trees in her yard. Soursops, Lychee trees, Jackfruit, Star apples, June plums, strawberries...we would come home so stuffed, that we just collapsed onto each other and fell asleep! Ha!" she cackled.
"We used to tear coconut trunks from the rotting trees and use it as a raft to go down the water stream. Then we climbed to the top of the bridge and catapulted into the water. Simsy, Buck Buck, Dawn and of course Peaches and I used to swing from the vines that wrapped the roof of the forest. There was so much other species we knew too. All kinds of small animals living the same lives as us, just in different bodies. We all coexisted in harmony"
Her shoulders were relaxed now, and as she slumped back in her chair her eyes were wide with wonder, she was bright, glowing, like the Sun.