"I set it up so we can meet with him after the half-moon." Adam put his phone in his pocket as he talked.
"When is the half-moon anyways?" Sadly, I was out of food so I just played with my fork as I talked.
"Two days." Blake looked worried fiddling with a napkin, hell she had every right to be. No matter how nice your master is the half-moon isn't safe for a human.
"Shit," I said quietly to myself. I wasn't so much worried about myself as I was Derik. *What if I get too rough with him and hurt him? I probably won't kill him but I could break more than a few of his bones.*
"Careful, I don't want you cutting your lip so close to the half-moon," Derik gently pulled my lip away from my fangs which was more than distracting. Clearing my throat and looking at Adam, most likely a little red, I tried to think of something to say.
"I guess we'll see you around then." My voice was a little strained and I walked up to Derik's room with him a little behind me.
I sat in the window sill trying not to chew on my lip. It was always a little uncomfortable three or four days before the half moon but it was getting to the point I had to actively ignore it.
Which now that I think about it explains a lot.
*That must be why I've been so off recently. Why else would I be so touchy with Derik.*
I could hear Derik doing some kind of paperwork but focusing on him wasn't a good idea with my attention drawn to the buzz of bloodlust sitting in my bones so I watched the birds outside the window.
When he stopped doing paperwork he walked over to the window and leaned on the wall next to it.
"Are you hungry, your fangs are out," I pointed out gently tugging his hand until he stood in front of me.
"Yeah, I sent for a slave bring something up." He rested his head on mine with his arms around my waist. I tried to ignore his heartbeat and how good his blood smelled, which didn't really work but I didn't have so little control that I attacked him.
When the slave came in with his blood he didn't react, like he was in a trance. I knew what he wanted but it's not like I can let him feed from me so close to the half-moon, I'd bite him if he tried even if it wasn't on purpose.
Motioning the slave over I took the glass from him and held it near Derik's nose. He grabbed the glass from my hand so roughly something cracked and my eyes teared up.
But I just smiled at him encouragingly as he drank from the glass. When he was about three quarters of the way done with the glass he came back and stared at me confused for a second.
When he noticed me holding my hand a look of sheer panic came over his face.
"Hey, hey, you're okay. It's just a bruise," I lied soothingly and cupped his face with my good hand.
"I'm so sorry, god I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to I promise." He looked like he might start crying.
"It's okay, it's not your fault."
"I'm so sorry." He held me in a tight hug just like when I'd gotten back to the room at the Regional's. Like he was scared for me.
For a long time I just played with his hair and whispered assurances to him. My hand would have taken days to heal in the pet shop but since I heal faster here it would probably take less than a day.
"It's okay, I'm okay. Finish your glass, okay? Then we can do something."
He held the glass out to me and reluctantly I took a small sip before handing it back to him. Since he didn't seem overly motivated to move I gently led him to the bed so he was laying down next to me.
I swear it took him like three hours to fully finish the glass and he never left my side. It wasn't his fault, not even a little, vampires get twitchy around the half-moon.
I wasn't a human with little to no clue what was happening and he shouldn't treat me like I am.
"Look at me," the request left my lips before I'd actually thought about what exactly to say. Regardless he stared obediently up at me. "It's not your fault and you shouldn't act like it is, I, of all people, know it wasn't your intention to hurt me."
"Haa, I know, I just feel like crap. The last thing I want is to hurt you."
"I know." I made sure I sounded every bit as understanding as I was.
The silence felt more comfortable than it had before and I snuggled into his chest and closed my eyes. A light purr radiated in my chest. Even with how perfect the moment felt, something nagged at me.
Telling me that I should leave before I got the chance to hurt him. I agreed and yet at the same time, I couldn't bear to be away from him. I wanted to leave for his benefit but I felt selfish and wanted to be around him.
"Fall, what's wrong, you're putting holes in my shirt." A little shocked I checked where my fingers were to find deep gashes stretching across the fabric.
"Shit, I'm sorry." Quickly removing my hands from his shirt I stared up at him guiltily.
"It's alright, seriously though, what's up?" He rubbed my back gently as he talked.
"I'm just...worried."
"What about?" *How can everything he does be so perfect; he always reads me perfectly and speaks to me gently when I need him to. Like he always knows what would help.*
"The half-moon, I just...I don't want to hurt you." Somehow his shirt found it's way back into my fingers as I talked.
"Look at me." I'm not even sure when I stopped looking at him. "Everything's going to be okay, what happens on the half-moon is only the things you wanted to happen but wouldn't do normally. If you don't want to hurt me you won't, at least not much.
"Besides, vampire's are tough. A little bite isn't going to do me much harm." He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear his gaze unbelievibly warm.
"But... I've hurt people before, vampires, humans, people I hated, people I wanted to protect."
"You hurt people before because you were hurt in one way or another. I won't let that happen to you, this time everything's going to be fine. You've gone through half-moons before where everything was fine, right?"
"Yeah," I sounded doubtful, which well, I was. The last good half-moon I'd been through was over three years ago before my mother died.
After that with an owner or a vendor it was always terrible the best case being me on edge all night trying desperately not to let go of reason and attack someone I didn't want to hurt.
"It'll be like that. Well, maybe a little worse, but we'll both make it through without any major injuries." He was always honest about things, that not everything was going to be perfect but that it would be okay anyways. I could never bring myself to hate that about him, that even if it might make things worse he'd say the truth.
"Thank you."
"Always." He kissed the top of my head and suddenly I believed everything he said, that it would be okay.
*God, when did I become such a worried mess? Last week I'd glared at the people who could do anything they wanted to me and now I'm nervous I'll hurt someone.*
*I used to be so badass and now I'm weak and venerable, what the hell changed?*
"What do you want for dinner?" *Where did that come from?*
"I don't know, I basically love all food that looks like it hasn't been pre-digested." It was pretty true, I mean I haven't found a food I don't feel privileged to eat yet. Hell, I'd have been happy with bread.
"Well, what's something you missed most?" Derik started rubbing little circles into my hip and I purred loudly and my eyes closed involuntarily.
Red faced I tried to think about the question, which was hard with Derik distracting me. *God I missed tons of things, I missed steak and ice cream and soda.* I'm not going to say any of those things obviously, I was a spoiled rich kid and there is no way I'm going to ask for anything that expensive.
"Carbs, I miss all things carbs."
"So like, pasta, or pancakes or?"
"Damn, I have to choose?"
"I guess not, it sounds like a weird mix but if that's what you want..."
"You know what, I'll choose. I choose... pancakes." *Pasta is amazing but pancakes are like sweet and fluffy and the literal embodiment of childhood.*
And that's how the rest of the two days before the half-moon went, for the most part it was comfortable and teasing.
It got clearer as we got closer to the half-moon that we were both fighting our instincts but we still stayed close to each other for the most part instead of distancing ourselves like most masters did with their pets if they cared about them.
***
Staring at Derik from the window I could see that he stood up straighter than usual. He paced the room occasionally growling or shaking his head. His fangs were half out and mine were barely suppressed.
There's nothing humans can feel that's like the half moon, even if you won't lose control until dark you can feel it. Feel your control slip away and everything grates on your nerves like a hand saw. At first it's terrifying, then you'll stop caring. You won't realize any of your actions are wrong until morning and no matter how hard you fight you'll forget your morals until the only thing left is desire.
It's like a roller coaster, at first you're terrified then you don't care, enjoy it no matter how dangerous it is.
The only thing in the whole house making noise was the appliances, the fridge and the heater, making it almost impossible not to focus on Derik. Slaves were traditionally moved to somewhere safe while pets or a slave who'd seriously messed up stayed to take care of their master's blood lust.
Living through the half-moon was a ten percent chance out in the town or if your master was cruel. While indifferent masters usually gave people a fifty-fifty shot.
Masters like Derik or Adam, which I should mention you have a one percent chance of getting, usually give you a seventy-five percent chance.
That was the highest chance for anything that's not a vampire or a hybrid, and it was much more dangerous for a vampire than a hybrid. Even though hybrids would be far prefered as food we're tougher.
With Derik's heartbeat and breathing a constant nagging nuisance in my head I tried to focus on happy memories. There weren't a lot of happy memories that didn't lead to bad ones but I managed.
I thought about the day I met Derik, all the good memories we'd made. The day I met Adam, the Regional's meeting where I helped all those girls, the day Derik took me to Cristy's and I met Natalee.
When I ran out of memories I opened my eyes and looked out the window surprised to see it was almost sunset. Derik looked worse for wear, his fangs were all the way out and he looked deathly pale.
I wanted to go comfort him with the almost pained look on his face but it wouldn't be good for either of us if I tried. I knew with the barely suppressed buzz in my bones I should stay away from Derik as long as possible so he'd have a better chance.
The wait for sunset was agonizingly slow. Once the room darkened all my muscles tensed in anticipation and Derik looked like he was hardly holding on.
The change was slow and painful, my vision sharpened until I could see every bead of sweat on Derik from across the room. My nails sharpened until they could easily draw blood and the skin around venerable parts of my body hardened.
My forearms turned dark black and scaly so they could block threats and the muscles in my back started to painfully stretch and contort.
My fangs sat uncomfortably in my mouth and my throat burned. I was so hungry. I could feel my back start to form wings and my shirt tear but I couldn't be bothered.
Like my eyes were magnetized to him I couldn't look away from Derik. My entire being seemed to be utterly obsessed with him and my wings twitched wanting permission to get closer.
Every single detail was crystal clear, his wings were bigger than mine and his scales a little darker.
Every muscle in my body moved forward a fraction of an inch every minute I sat there waiting. His eyes were glowing brightly and he moved so slowly it was hard not to race over so I could be right in front of him.
I could be there in a fraction of a second. But we both resisted, *why are we resisting, it couldn't do that much harm, right?*
Every part of me wanted him but something held me in place. I'm not sure what or why it could possibly be against having something my being desperately wanted.
Eventually his steps got faster until he was right in front of me. My muscles froze and strained against my will.
Growling loudly, he leaned down towards me. *God he smells good.* Without permission my hand shot out and grabbed his arm.
Like something broke he stopped resisting suddenly and bit my neck.
Pain flared at my neck and I tried not to shove him away or attack him. A tiny whimper came out of my mouth and to my surprise he eased up a little.
Suddenly I found my face close to his neck. His purring almost drowned out his heartbeat, almost.
I may or may not be drooling. I'm not entirely sure how my fangs got into his neck or how my legs got wrapped around his waist but he seemed far too distracted to notice.
The most amazing taste hit my tongue, it was sweet and rich, and creamy. It was like hot chocolate, drinking it was addictive and it was near impossible to describe even though everyone knows exactly what it tastes like.
My purring seemed to drown out every sound in the room.
I threw my hands around his neck and grabbed at his shirt trying to somehow pull him closer. My wings wrapped around him and my back hit something, not that I cared as I was still making sure Derik couldn't get away from me.
Savoring every mouthful it didn't occur to me that I might be taking too much from Derik for a long time. Carefully pulling my fangs out of his neck I looked at him concerned.
He seemed fine, you know besides the trance the half-moon put him in the second he tasted blood. Feeling more than guilty for not controlling myself better I wrapped my arms around him tighter apologetically.
When I set my head on his shoulder every muscle in his body stiffened and he stopped drinking from me entirely. Running one of my hands through his hair I kissed his neck gently trying to comfort him.
"I'm okay, just getting comfortable," He started drinking from me slowly but his purring was noticeably quieter and his arms were still painfully tight around my waist.
*Even on the half-moon he's worried about me.*
I rubbed circles around his wings; since my back was so sore I figured it might help him calm down. And it did, he relaxed most of the way again before he pulled his fangs out of my neck.
He set his head on my shoulder and I covered him with little butterfly kisses. The whole room was echoing with loud purring while I snuggled into him.
*Being around him is always so addicting.*
A little tickling feeling on my neck made me turn my attention back to Derik who was kissing my neck. Even though my face heated up it made me smile.
Without really thinking I grabbed his face and brought it gently to mine.
He growled possessively at me which didn't do much to discourage me. It was amazing, careful but passionate in a way that convinced me I was doing the right thing. Even if I wasn't.
I ran my tongue along his bottom lip and he seemed more than happy to let me. I can't really describe how it felt, it was needy but gentle and more a feeling than an action.
Like little butterflies floating around my chest while we were closer to one person than two. It was almost like no one could separate us.
He pulled away from me and breathed deeply. *Was he really worried I wasn't breathing? Hybrids don't have to breath nearly as much as humans. Well not that he knows but I don't need to breathe at all.*
I took the most sarcastic breath ever, yes you can do that you just need to try harder. When he stubbornly stood there just listening to me breathing a mischievous little plan worked it's way into my brain.
Trying not to smirk at him I nipped at his neck leaving it covered with little love bites. Basically vampire hickies, which I also left plenty of. His finally calming heartbeat sped up again.
I heard him growl at me. Chuckling I kept tormenting him until he pulled my head away from his neck and back towards his.
It was a little different than the first, less needy. It was kind and affectionate, leaving me with a warm feeling in my chest. If that kiss had lasted forever I would have been over the moon.
There was nothing else I could have wanted in that moment. Just as gentle as it was freeing it reminded me a little of swimming. Something you can feel but can't, less of one thing controlling another and more of two things working together.
Easily recognizable but also foreign.
And absolutely perfect.