"Maybe!"
I jolted awake, the thin sheet sticking to my hot skin.
"Maybe, you're going to be late, it's your first day!"
I stretched my neck and pulled my damp hair off of my nape, twisting it into a loose knot on the back of my head. It was too long now. I needed it cut, but Jamie liked playing with it, and I liked when he rubbed my head.
I swung my bare legs off of my twin size mattress that I had recently rearranged to the corner of my room, where the sun hit, so that it would wake me on mornings when I got little sleep. Which was nearly every night, despite it having been 7 years since the day I nightmared about.
"Maybe, come on, I'm making breakfast!"
I had laid out my clothes the night before. Not out of excitement, I felt acute apathy about the start of my senior year at Hernan High. I always laid out my clothes, knowing I'm not a morning person. I brought them with me into the bathroom across the hall.
The one thing I always made time for in the morning was a shower. The heat in Arizona in the summer was brutal, and I hated being hot. I hated being sticky from the dried sweat of my nightmares even more. Nate always complained that the 2 fans I kept on all night drove up the electricity bill, but since I had started working at the indoor climbing gym, Red Rocks, when I was 16, I had been contributing a portion of my checks to said electricity bill. He still teased me about it, but was more than satisfied with our resolution.
I turned the water cold and stood under the stream until the flush of my lingering fear had dissipated. Wrapping a towel around myself, I examined my eyes in the mirror. I would need a little concealer today. I dabbed the little applicator onto my skin and gently patted the area until the dark circles had all but disappeared. My green eyes were much more vibrant when you could see past the bags underneath them. I dried my too-long hair, and ran a brush through the loose chocolate curls. I let them air dry against my back, hoping the wetness would keep me cool until I got to school.
"Maybe, I'm not going to be able to drive you today if you don't hurry!"
I rolled my eyes in the mirror, but quickly brushed my teeth and dressed in a loose white top and fitted light blue jeans.
"Coming!"
I ran back into my room and picked up some strappy white sandals and my shoulder bag of the floor, tossing in a pair of tennis shoes and some track shorts and a sports bra. I actually fit into one of those, now. About damn time.
The toast and yogurt Nate had "made" were on the counter, so I grabbed them on my way to his car. He honked impatiently, so I slowed down and took my time locking the front door.
He leaned on the horn.
"God Nate, do you think the neighbors are up? Maybe you should do it one more time, just in case there's a baby not crying yet!"
He deadpanned in my direction.
"I have a meeting today at 9:15 in Pheonix, and you've just made me miss my morning coffee." He reversed out of the driveway and headed west towards the city.
"You didn't have to wait for me, the bus stop is a block away." And isn't nearly as obnoxious as Nate.
"I had to see you off! It's the last first time I'll be able to. Speaking of which, have you decided where to apply for college? Arizona State is a party school, but a degree is a degree, and you could come home to bore me on weekends!"
Nate was an architect, and my older half brother. He was doing a paid internship with some up-and-coming company, and wouldn't shut up about angles and support structures, but *I* was the bore?
"I'll apply wherever I can qualify for a scholarship, but I told you, I'm taking a gap year."
"If you loose momentum you'll never go back to school. You'll become a striper!"
"One of the girls who graduated a year ago is a striper now."
"Because she took a gap year!"
"She drives a Bugatti now." His eyes popped. I smirked.
"I could pay off your student loans! This was a great idea! Thanks Nate!"
He was grumbling under his breath as he pulled up to the school, but I caught his joking retort.
"You'll *need* the support once I snap your neck with your backpack strap."
I jumped out of the car cheerily.
"Stripers don't wear backpacks, they wear g-strings!"
His face went 2 shades past pink and into red. I shut the door and made a mental note to leave a search up on his computer for pole dancing classes.
"Hey!"
I turned around.
Nate grabbed my cheeks over my hair and lifted my face so I would look at him.
"I love you, Maybe. Being your Half Dad has been the best 7 years of my life, and I will love you always. Even if you're a striper." Half Dad was a term we came up with when I first came to live with Nate when he was 19. It was our compromise between friend and authority figure. It meant he was responsible for my wellbeing but wouldn't treat me like a child, and his value of my mental state and self-governance is how I survived those first few years.
He leaned in and kissed my forehead while I wrapped my arms around him and shut my eyes so he wouldn't see them tear.
"I love you too, Nate." I mumbled.
He released me and stepped back.
"But you're still going to apply for college." He winked. I smiled back at him.
"You're gonna be late for work, nerd!"
He threw his head back and laughed as he loped back to his running car and open drivers side door. As he pulled away he rolled the passenger window down.
"Have a great senior year, Maybe! See you later!"
I waved and shook my head as he sped away. I hoped he realized he was still in a school zone.