"Nelly, you've gotta stop looking at me that way."
A chuckle pierced the air. "I don't know what you're talking about, ma'am."
I scoffed and started to peel the avocado I had earlier asked Nelly to wash. She had protested when I insisted she'd have to wash all the vegetables for me, I wasn't her maid and I had to make sure she was aware of that fact. I mashed the avocado in a bowl with a metal fork before adding the chopped vegetables.
"Can you get me one lime from the fridge?" She handed me the small fruit and i squeezed a little of its juice into the mashed combo. I added a pinch of salt and stirred the mix. I tasted it and nodded my head in satisfaction before putting it in the fridge. That lime juice was the real deal. My one-person audience watched me keenly as I wiped down the kitchen island.
"What are we supposed to eat with the guac dip?" I understood her underlying demand. She wanted me to make some chicken melts and I would have, if I wasn't so tired. It was the second day of staying late at work to write log-ins, exhausted didn't quite qualify how washed out I felt.
I glanced at her and shrugged. "Whatever you want to eat with it
There's wheat bread in the fridge, you can spread the guac on it."
"Wheat bread?" She gave me an incredulous stare. "So you not gon make us some toast with eggs, bacons, cheese and all that good stuff?"
"Nope."
She scowled at my deadpan expression and stared at the bowl of guacamole in the fridge. "Damn, I think there's a pressing need for me to learn how to cook." She closed the fridge door with an extra amount of force, then turned with that funny look on her face. "Anyways, back to what we have saying. Don't you think it's time you fessed up?"
I glared at her briefly before walking out of the kitchen. "Nelly, I don't want to talk about that."
"Too bad, I do. Now start, cos you're just wasting your time. Look at me." She pointed at herself and I raised my brows in question. "I don't have a job, I'm gainfully unemployed. I'll wake up by 8am to take Kayla to school, then come back and sleep or do whatever the fuck it is I want till 3pm when I'd have to pick her up. After that, I'll take her to her piano class and come home by 5pm. And that's the end of my day. I don't need to sleep a lot of hours at night cos I would have already slept multiple hours during the day." She pinched my cheeks. "But you? You're in a whole different ballgame. You need to go to work early and stay active till 10pm. So like I said before, you're wasting your time."
She was right. I really was wasting my time. "What the fuck do you want, Nelly?"
"You already know. Just tell me how it's been going?"
I groaned and slapped her hand away from my cheeks. "Girl, nothing's been going on. I've been saying it all night." She gave me a wary look and I knew she hadn't accepted my explanation.
"So you're trying to tell me that you've been with your boss all these days, all alone at late hours and nothing has happened?" I stared daggers at her, what did she mean? "That's so fucking boring."
My brows furrowed in mild annoyance. "Fuck you mean all these days?" I raised two fingers. "It's just been two days. Two fucking days. Monday and today. You're making it seem like we've been meeting all year."
Her lips twitched at the edges. "That's an invalid point cos you could literally meet someone at the bar by 8pm and get pregnant for them that same night." Perplexity flooded my countenance and she nodded solemnly. "I've seen it with my very eyes, mi amiga."
"Mujer estúpida." She laughed at the insult I hurled.
"I'd be devastated if I was in your position. Being alone with a man and he doesn't make any form of advances?"
I shrugged in nonchalance. "Maybe he's just a decent human?"
My friend made an tsk sound and wagged her finger in disagreement. "Men are not decent creatures, they're beasts. And what makes beasts, beasts is their reaction to preys." I gave her a blank look. "Again, I'd feel terrible if I was in your position cos I'm way too sexy-." Her fingers trailed down her body, deliberately slow. "To be ignored."
My eyes followed her hands down her body and I shrugged. "In my opinion, you look pretty basic." That was a bloody lie but it filled me with inexplicable joy when Nelly was flustered. I made an exaggerated show of yawning when she gasped and started walking towards Mikayla's room. "Goodnight, vampiro. I'll see you tomorrow."
I didn't see her the next day before I left for work. At work, Madison kept on pestering me as usual and I kept fighting her off. As usual, my actions were all in vain.
"Madison, I'm really busy at the moment. Mon Dieu, you're quite unbearable." I complained for the fiftieth time that hour and she chuckled.
"True, I can't dispute that but I think unbearable is better than overbearing. Don't you think so too?"
I gave her a bored look. "If I wasn't so irritated by your presence, I'd have been impressed by the little wordplay you got going on." A shocked gasp fell out of her mouth at my next jab. "You know, if you actually used the same energy you invested in stupid gossip to do reasonable and profitable work, I'm almost certain "The man of your dreams" would have noticed you by now. But no, you'd rather fuck around and yap my head off. And that's why you're still unnoticed."
"You're so mean." I shrugged in response. "You're definitely the worst candidate for the role of a therapist, considering how toxic you are."
Damn, she sounded pretty hurt but did I give a fuck? "You want an apology, Madison?"
She stuck her nose up in the air. "That's the decent thing to do."
"True." She raised her brows, she had to know more was to come. "But you'd have to help me with something before I do that."
"Do you know how deranged you sound right now?"
I paused to think about what I said and couldn't help but agree with her. Desperation could make any sane person sound deranged. "I don't mind. So are you going to help me out?" She regarded me for a few seconds before nodding in acceptance. "Nice. I just need you to help me with the gala hosting." She started to shake her head and I held up my hand. "I didn't say you should host the gala, just help me with the hosting. I'll do the major work. You'll just be a helping hand."
"I'll think about it." She lifted her brows at me. "Now, the apology."
Shaking my head in humor, I did her bidding. We talked for a couple minutes before she had to leave for a session. Even though I had already convinced her to help me out, it wouldn't be advisable to ask her do anything concerning the food. That was a really crucial part of the hosting.
"Just brainstorm for themes." Her eyes lit up and I quickly put her on the right track. "Halloween theme is cancelled. Halloween and every other outrageous theme." I ignored her scowl of disapproval. The gala was my party to run, not hers. "I think that'll be all for now. Remember, the theme would affect the decorations and possibly even food. Choose wisely."
Nothing remotely interesting happened through the day. Not until my phone rang and I saw the caller. Sara Rodriguez. My face scrunched in confusion and I decided to wait that exact one out, she was probably butt-dialling me. When it rang the second time, I knew it was intentional, she was actually calling to talk to me. My heart rate increased substantially, why was she calling? I answered the phone with slight trepidation, did something happen to Nelly or Mikayla?
"¡Hola!"
I assessed her voice in a microsecond. Her voice was too calm for someone who'd call to give bad news, I'd expect frenzied greetings. Still, it was too early to conclude.
"Hola, mama."
"¿Cómo estás, Deborah?" I replied in the affirmative and she proceeded to enquire about Mikayla. I heaved out in relief, she didn't call to drop any bombs.
"She's good." I glanced at my leather wristwatch. "She'd probably still be in school by now."
Her hum resonated out of my speaker. "Do you have any plans this weekend?" I raised my brows in question although she couldn't see it. Why would she ask me that?
"Uhmm, no." Apart from breathing, sleeping and eating, I really had no plans for the weekend.
"Sorry, I meant Mikayla. ¿Tiene alguna actividad planeada para el fin de semana? Like her extracurricular activities or something?" That was the right one because I knew Sara would never just ask me if I was free, but Mikayla was her baby. She probably wanted to take her out for some activity.
"No. I can't think of any." I wondered where she'd take Mikayla to. Maybe a nice uptown boutique.
"Está bien. I and Alejandro would like to take her to Disneyland over the weekend. We'd take a flight to California on Friday and come back on Monday."
I blinked in mild surprise. At that point, I wouldn't mind being Mikayla for a few days. "Uhmmm, t-that'll be alright. She can go with you guys."
"Mikayla puede venir con nosotras a Disneyland." She told someone about my decision in the background in an excited voice, probably her husband. It sounded like she wasn't sure I'd accept her proposal. "Bien. So we'll pick her up from your house after school and bring her back on Monday. She will have to resume school on Tuesday. Will that be okay?"
Normally, I didn't ever allow my daughter to miss school unless she was ill but I wouldn't want to say no to Sara. "That's fine. I'll pack her a bag on Friday."
After a minute or thereabouts, the call ended and I let out a deep sigh of relief. At least, nothing was wrong with Mikayla or her babysitter. I imagined how Mikayla would react if I told her about her impending trip with her grandparents. She'd probably jump into my arm and squeal with joy before requesting to talk to her abuela. I tried to call Nelly around 7:30pm to break the news to them but she didn't pick up, so I put down my phone and got into my log-ins writing.
Andre came into my office about an hour later and wordlessly went to sit in the couch after exchanging a word of greeting.
"Hello." That was all. I didn't even respond verbally, just a nod of my head. Excerpts of my last conversation with Nelly crept into my mind and I tried to push them out because the more those thoughts persisted, the more uncomfortable I felt. For some reason unbeknownst to me, it made me feel a little unattractive. It wasn't like I wanted him to make advances, but a little conversation here and there would be nice. His brooding silence made his kind act seem forced and I'd hate to be a burden to anyone, especially him. I contemplated asking him to stop waiting behind for me, I could do that when I finished writing what I'd planned for the day. I'd tell him that he didn't have to wait, I wasn't uncomfortable with staying alone in the building because I'd done it severally in the past. Besides, I had a penknife and a Taser gun in my drawer. I bought the penknife in some store and Nelly had gotten me the gun about two years ago. Luckily for me, I'd never been unlucky to have to use any of the weapons.
Nelly's FaceTime call interrupted my roaming thoughts and I was grateful for the distraction. I was super slow with the task at hand because of my divided attention.
"Bitch, you called." I frowned when I saw the bunch of curly hair at the bottom corner of the phone screen. Mikayla.
"Nelly, I've told you multiple times to stop cursing around her. Why don't you listen?" She looked at me with a bored look and I knew I had just wasted an ounce of energy.
"I'll do whatever the fuck it is I want, Dee. Besides, you're not one to talk. Kayla told me you said about 50 bad words in just one sentence. Personally, I thought that was illogically impressive." Of course, she'd snitch on me to her babysitter. "Why did you call before?"
"Sara called about 7 hours ago."
"Diego's mom?" I hummed in agreement. "Why did she call? Her husband died? It's about time."
Instinctively, I looked at the sofa Andre was sat in to see if he heard her callous comment. Luckily, he was preoccupied with his phone and I turned my attention back to my phone. My voice was reduced to a furious whisper. "Nelly!!! You can't say stuffs like that."
"Why?" Nelly had always been pretty comfortable with saying the most outrageous things. Obviously, death wasn't exempted from the list. "I can't share opinions anymore?"
I looked at Andre to be sure he still wasn't paying attention and nodded in satisfaction when I saw he wasn't. "Not when it involves the death of Diego's parents."
Nonchalance was evident in her shrug. "So why did she call?"
"She said she and Alejandro want to take Kayla to Disneyland on Friday. They'll be there all weekend and fly back on Monday." Nelly's lips twitched, she was awed by the news. "I know right. I was surprised when she told me. At first, I thought she was calling cos something happened to either you or Kayla."
Her brows quirked. "Why would you even think about that?"
"Cos we don't ever talk about anything that isn't Mikayla. And when you don't pick up for her to talk to Mikayla, then she talks you. Has she even called this night?"
Nelly's head bobbed in affirmation. "Yeah, she has but she definitely didn't tell Kayla about the Disneyland trip cos she isn't happy." My eyes widened slightly and she backtracked. "I mean exceptionally happy. She's just normal like a normal kid should be." I narrowed my eyes and she huffed in mild frustration. "You know what I mean."
I chuckled. "Maybe I should get home to tell her about it."
"Who's gon be awake when you get back from that dungeon? Definitely not Mikayla. She's even drifting off right now, it's way past her bedtime already." I nodded in understanding. "I think it's better you tell her now."
When I broke the news to my daughter, she was hella ecstatic as I expected. She was brimming with joy and I could feel her excitement radiating from the phone screen. For a split second, I wished I was the one talking her to Disneyland and not the Rodriguez grandparents. "So you'll call your abuela and thank her, alright?" She nodded frantically. "Está bien. That'll be goodnight cos you will be asleep when I get back home."
She shook her little head. "I won't, mama. I'll wait for you."
I chuckled softly and shook my own head too. "No, bebe. You've got school tomorrow, you need to sleep now so you can be active and attentive in your classes." Her whine of protest tugged at my heart. "Sweetie, I'm so sorry that I'm stuck at work. By the time you come back from your little trip though, I'll be done with this little situation."
She nodded and complained about the pizza Nelly ordered for dinner. I glanced at the unfinished work on my desk and cringed, I had a lot of things to do but I didn't have the heart to cut my baby off. So I waited for her to finish her rant about cheese before ending the call.
I got back to work and did I have a ton of work to do! Nelly and Kayla had taken a solid 30 minutes from me and without doubt, I knew I'd get home by midnight. So I started writing at the speed of light, I wasn't so sure I was giving very comprehensive deduction cos of how fast I was. I barely had time to think before I put my pen to the journal.
"So you have a daughter." A bass voice cut into my thoughts and disrupted the rhythm I'd created to do my work. I raised my head to look at the other occupant of the room and scrunched my face in confusion when I saw that he wasn't looking at me. He was still doing whatever on his phone and I wondered if I was hallucinating. Was I hearing voices? I shook my head and continued what I was doing, my brain was probably creating distractions to force me to stop the mental torture I was subjecting it to.Immediately I set my pen on my journal, the voice spoke again and I knew it wasn't my imagination. "Sorry, I got distracted by something here." I raised my head again and his green orbs were already staring at me.
"Huh?"
"I said you have a daughter?" It was a rhetorical question but I responded anyways, with two swift nods. "I had no idea."
"Uhmmm." What was I supposed to say? "Uhmm, well you do now."
He nodded slowly. "She sounds pretty grown." I blinked repeatedly, that meant he was paying attention when she was on the FaceTime call. I wondered how much of Nelly's morbid talk he heard. "How old is she?"
"8, soon to be 9. March 2nd."
He tilted his head sideways. "And you're 29, soon to be 30 next month." My jaw dropped to my feet and it seemed like he noticed my reaction. "You shouldn't be surprised I know that. I have access to every employee's file, remember?"
I nodded slowly. "Uhmm, y-yeah, of course." Either he had a super photographic memory or he purposely studied my personal data.
A moment of silence passed before he spoke again. "Judging from her age, you were 21 when you gave birth to her. So you probably were in college when you gave birth to her." I nodded with a skeptical look on my face. Where was he heading to with that? "Must had been hard being a single mom in college."
"I wasn't a single mom in college."
His eyes widened and he blinked several times. "Wait, you're married?" He shook his head in denial. "But you go by 'Miss'. Everybody in here calls you Miss Rodriguez."
I lifted a brow. "I said I wasn't a single mom in college. Last I checked, I'm no longer in college."
He used a few seconds to digest what I said. "Oh, so you're divorced?"
"No, widowed."
He gazed at me with a neutral look and nodded slowly in understanding. "Alright." I was very satisfied with his apathetic response. It was way better than the hypocritical show of grief other people displayed when they learned her husband was dead. "So right now, like now, you're a single mom?" I nodded in affirmation and chuckled inwardly at his deliberate stress on the word now. "So it's just you and your daughter. Who takes care of her when you're working? The lady you spoke to tonight? That's her babysitter?"
I had to give Nelly her full credit. "That's my friend thar helps me babysit my daughter."
Andre nodded slowly and scratched his beard. "Must be really hard for you, juggling full-time work and motherhood."
I shrugged and wrote a few things in the journal. Thank God, I was almost done with the day's work. "Well, Nelly has been beyond helpful. She's a real life heaven sent to me."
"I'm sure she is." He stayed silent for a while and I raised my head up. He looked like he had more to say but wasn't sure if he should. "But regardless, you wished you got more time to spend with your daughter right?"
My jaw ticked. Was he trying to call me an absentee mom? On second thought, I reasoned that his tone had no judgement in it so I answered him in a calm voice. "I'm pretty sure most parents would say yes to spending more time with their kid."
He stood and edged towards my desk. "You're swamped with work though. You barely even have enough break between your sessions. To be honest, your schedule is the tightest I've ever seen." Without meaning to, my skin flushed a little because of the adjective he used. Tightest. "As an employer, I should be happy that you have no time for your personal affairs, but now there's a kid in the mix." I scrunched my face in slight confusion. Was he talking about my Mikayla? "How about I allow you transfer some of your clients to other people so you can have more time to spend with your daughter?"
I considered his preposition for a minute, it actually sounded very wonderful. Same pay, less work, more family time. Should I accept it? "Thanks but no, thanks. I can't accept that. I'd already created a balance but the accumulated log-ins ruined it this week. I'm fine with working with all my clients." He gazed at me for a while and shrugged before walking back to the sofa. As I did the last few log-ins, I thought about the last emotion that had flickered in his eyes before the shrug. I recognized it because it was the same way I looked at Mikayla when she talked about her school.
It was the look of admiration.