It must have been hard. Most when you wanted someone to just hold you and show you the way, but no one was there. Not a single soul.
It must have been saddening, when your closest couldn't comfort you how you may have wanted or needed to be comforted.
It's okay, that they couldn't understand you, your feelings still have value.
You may not be okay, but it's okay, you couldn't give your 100% or even 90% it is okay, you have next time. You have your times and its totally okay to give your least best, but do try your hardest to give your best next time. You can cant you?
I believe in you.
It is totally okay if you made mistakes, or did wrong, do beat your self up about it.
Do analyse your mistake, and your feelings, Mistakes always have a deeper lesson than shown, look into your mistake, learn from it and implement it in your future, but refrain from beating your self up even in the future from the past that you or no one can change.
If you have learned to not give and absolute damn about feelings. You are not alone.
I hope you learn to find comfort within your self and your environment, i hope you get fond with your values and happiness you can bring your self and see the opportunities you have, with just your self.
Be your self, love your self.
— here for you.