I can't sleep. I check my phone, and it's 4:30 A.M. I can't stop worrying about what is happening in our town, and I can't just let Jake be near violence. The only reason we moved here in this small town is because I want to control Jake's environment, until I am sure he can handle his tendencies in a right way. But I can't stop thinking whether I'm the one who brought him near his triggers.
I pull myself from the bed to sit, letting my feet touch the floor to feel where my slippers are. I wear my slippers, and I stand up to walk out from my room. I need tea. I take the pot to boil some water and grabbed one chamomile teabag beside the fruit bowl. After preparing my tea, I walk to our refrigerator and take out the pure honey I bought last week for my teas. I pull out the honey dipper from the container, while slowly rotating it to keep the honey from pouring yet, until it reaches my teacup.
"I love the smell of chamomile," I whisper to myself, and as I take a sip, I can feel the warmth into my chest down to my stomach, that feels like heaven to me. Suddenly I hear cats fighting outside the door, I almost drop my tea. Jesus Christ. I don't wanna bother opening the front door just to scare them off, they'll probably stop on their own.
"Oh fuck," I drop my tea on the table spilling some of the contents, I was shocked from the hard banging outside our front door. Seriously? Who bangs doors like that at almost 5:00 in the morning? I feel myself automatically walking towards the door, and as I was about to unlock the door, my own thoughts sink in more. "Who knocks like that, especially at this hour?" I whisper to myself that I almost couldn't hear my own voice. I feel my feet starting to get cold up to my head from fear and panic, and my heart feels like it wants to get away from my body from the rapid beating. I back away from the door slowly, and I flinch as soon as the banging starts again.
"Who's there!" I shout. More banging. I step back a little more, and I almost tripped when I feel someone behind me. I turn around and it's my son, "Who the fuck is that" he whispers to me, pointing to our door. He looks at me, then to the door. The banging stops for about five seconds, and it starts again. Jake and I both flinched. I hear my phone ringing from my bedroom, "I'll get it" Jake says.
When he returns, already answered the call and holding the phone to his ear. "Wait a second Mrs. Ali," Jake said. He hands me my phone, and I slowly put my phone against my ear whispering hello to Mrs. Ali, our next-door neighbor.
"Honey don't open your door okay," she says.
"Do you know the person outside my apartment?"
"No, but one of my cat's dead. My poor baby. I just saw her hanging outside my window, lifeless!" I can hear Mrs. Ali's shaking voice, she's crying. "Who does that to a cat honey?"
"Oh god," I cover my mouth with my hand, I'm starting to wonder who killed her cat. Is it the person outside our apartment? Or is it, no. No, jake won't do that. He even got a kitten now. He won't do that. Won't he? I don't know.
"I already called the police, don't worry now. Don't open your door!" Mrs. Ali says. I told her to be safe too, and that I am sorry for her loss. I know how much she cherishes those little kitties. They're like her family now.
I almost forgot about the banging from our door from worrying whoever killed Mrs. Ali's cat. I didn't notice when the banging stopped, but it did. I wait a bit more, staring at the door, waiting if the hard knocking will come again. It didn't.
Jake's sitting now on the sofa, looking tired and sleepy. I sit beside him, extending my arms to his shoulders to hold him.
"Are you okay?" I ask. "Yea, I'm just so tired. I don't have enough time to sleep now, I have class." He holds his face down to his hands.
"Oh, why don't you just rest today? Just take a day of absence." I suggest. "But I have a long test today."
"I'll just write you an excuse letter, so you could take a special test maybe tomorrow." I see Jake thinking about it, and maybe he really is tired today that he agreed to it.
"Thanks mom, I really need rest." He stands up from the sofa and starts walking toward his room.
"I'll take a rest now," he says turning to look at me, before entering his room. He vanished into his room, and I just sit here, no sleep at all.
When I hear a knock, I was scared for a second before the person behind the door speak.
"Police. Your neighbor reported an incident just a few minutes ago?" I walk toward the door. I unlock the knob before removing the chain to see if it's actually the police. It is. I close again, and I remove the chain to open it entirely. I move closer to outside, crossing my arms. I feel defensive around uniformed men, they intimidate me.
"Yes. There was someone banging our door continuously around 5:00 A.M," I tell the police.
"Do you know someone around this town that might've been the person who was knocking a while ago?"
"Yes, but nobody that I know have been here in my apartment."
"Okay. Your front doors don't have cameras, but I saw one on the entrance of the apartment building. We'll request for it to check who entered the building that time." The police said. I nod at him, and he said that I should lock my door, just for safety.
I close my door as soon as the police left. When I turn around, I suddenly feel like my head is empty. I haven't slept, that's why. I check the time and it's 6:30 A.M. Jake's still sleeping, so he probably won't be eating breakfast, and I'm too tired to cook and eat too.
"I should sleep now." I mutter to myself. I walk towards my room when I hear little cat noises behind Jake's room. Ah yes, Jake and I might not wanna eat, but this little kitten does. I open Jake's door to let the cat out. I reached for the canned tuna to feed the cat, since we haven't bought any cat food yet. I give her the food on the side of the kitchen. I watch her eat her food, I crouch down to pet her, "did Jake name you already?" I hear her meow as I stroke my hand petting her. I stand up and left her water beside the tuna she's eating. I enter my room, and I haven't felt this sleepy in a long time. I lie down and let my body relaxes to the comfort of my bed's mattress, so I let myself get lost in sleep.