[Bing Qing's POV]
*PAH*
"Urgh!" A groan escaped my mouth while I held my now red hand with my other one.
"Pathetic. Again." I heard my father's cold words while I crouched down to pick my wooden sword.
Picking my sword, I quickly felt my hand aching from his earlier hit, but I held in my complains and started to swing my sword again.
A few hours went by and I was standing on my wobbling legs while my arms trembled to the point where I couldn't even maintain them straight for a single second.
*SIGH*
"This is enough for today." I heard my father saying and dropped to the ground in exhaustion.
*PANT*
*PANT*
*PANT*
Panting heavily, I stole a glance at my father just to see him walking away as if not caring about me.
'It hurts…'
Seeing my father being so aloof and indifferent towards me hurts me deeply.
Although I am 12 years-old now, I still haven't gotten used to be around him.
*TAP*
*TAP*
*TAP*
"Qin'er." A soft and feminine voice called me before I was enveloped in a soft sensation.
"Mom." I recognized her in the same instant as she hugged me.
"Ah, I'm sorry mom, I'm sweaty right no-" I was going to say that she shouldn't hug me now, but was swiftly cut off.
"Hush. That damn man… Making a child train this much…" I heard she speaking with anger before she scooped me up and took me towards the bathroom.
Although I was embarrassed by being carried by her, I said nothing and just enjoyed one of the few moments we have alone without that man intruding in our lives.
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*SWOOSH*
*SWOOSH*
*SWOOSH*
"Look, look, it's goddess Bing."
"Oh, goddess Bing is training again? It must be good to have that much passion."
'No, it's not passion.'
"Passion? Who wouldn't have passion for something they are talented at?"
'Talented? Do you know how many hours I spent suffering from training? How many liters of blood, sweat and tears I shed doing something I am "talented" at?'
"Now, now, everyone! Let goddess Bing train alone. Can't you all see that she is bothered by your presence? Shoo, shoo."
"Eh? What a party-popper…"
"Hey, let's go man."
"Yeah."
*SWOOSH*
'No…'
*SWOOSH*
'I am not…'
*SWOOSH*
'Talented…'
"…"
I stopped swinging my sword and stood still on a training arena.
I let the cold winds of the mountain I'm in wash over me as I looked towards the sky.
The sun was showering the Earth with its sunlight, but I felt as if I was inside a dark well, suffocating.
"Qin'er." I heard my mom calling from behind me.
I quickly turned towards her while throwing my sword away.
"Mom! I said for you to not get out of bed." I swiftly approached her and helped her walk.
My mom is a beautiful woman. She has silk white hair, 9 fox tails and a voluptuous body that didn't fail in seducing every male she has met until today.
However, recently she was hit by a mysterious illness which made her body frail and weak to the point she could barely walk for herself.
Looking worriedly at my mother, I helped her to go towards a nearby bench before sitting down.
"Why did you come here, mom?"
After she sat down, she patted the seat nearby her indicating for me to sit.
Not refusing her request, I sat down and looked at her eyes.
"Qin'er, I…" She trailed off with sadness in her eyes.
"What is it mom?" My heart started to speed up. I have a very bad feeling about it.
"I… I…" She struggled to get her words out of her mouth, but she couldn't form a single sentence. Her hands trembled, her shoulders seemed so frail that they couldn't carry even the burden of a feather on them and her complexion was that of someone trying to say something, but having a lump in their throat.
"She will be put in cryogenic sleep. She is dying." I heard those cold words being said with the voice I hate the most in this world.
Turning towards the source of the voice, I see my father indifferently looking at us while having his hands behind his back.
Gritting my teeth, I decide to ignore him and turn to look at my mother.
"Mom, is that true?" I asked with a bit of hope that it was just that damn man trying to scare me.
Sadly, it was not.
My face dropped when I saw her looking down and nodding her head while spilling some tears from her eyes.
My heart clenched and I felt a suffocating feeling coming over me.
I didn't care for anything else and hugged her tightly.
"…"
Nobody said anything, not even that man.
We spent around half an hour like that before being interrupted.
"She needs to go." His cold words brought my mind back to the problem I tried so hard to ignore.
"W-"
"Qin'er, promise something." I heard my mother saying in her usual motherly tone.
Turning towards her, I saw a beautiful smile on her face making me feel even sadder, but I mustered a twitching, crumbling and weak smile before answering her.
"Anything, mom."
She looked at my eyes and lowered her head.
She kissed my forehead for some seconds before separating herself from me.
"No matter what, never lose yourself, okay? Can you promise this?" She asked with a seriousness never seen before in her eyes.
*GULP*
I gulped down in order to muster strength and fight against the lump that was forming inside my throat.
"Yes, I promise." I said while some tears ended leaking out of my eyes.
She smiled and kissed my forehead again before getting up and going away with that man.
(It will be her.)
I heard a mysterious and genderless voice saying in a low tone out of nowhere.
"It shall be done, my lord." I heard my father whispering while going away.
At that time, I didn't understand what his words meant and how they would affect me.
However, later on, I would come to curse that day with all my strength.
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15 years passed since that day and I'm now 30 years-old and peerless in my generation.
However, even though I had already achieved an impressive level of strength for my age, I wasn't happy in the slightest.
My mother had to still wake up, but no one was ever doing any effort in finding a cure for her illness.
I even tried to study medicine myself, but my "family" strongly opposed me and even banned me from reading any books of that matter.
I didn't know why, but whenever I think about the reason, my mind always goes back to that strange voice and that man's words back then.
"Young miss Bing, your father calls upon you in the main hall." I heard a servant saying it outside of my room.
Not answering anything, I simply opened the door and looked coldly at the servant.
The servant flinched before started to lead the way.
I kept quiet along the way and soon we arrived at the main hall of my "family's" mansion.
I didn't bother with ceremonies and entered without any previous warning or courtesy.
There, I saw my father smiling happily at a woman with a baby in her arms and a little boy near them.
They both had some of his and that woman's characteristics making it easy to guess who were the children's parents.
"What did you call me for?" My voice was cold and devoid of any emotion for this man.
His happy smile died down and he looked at me with his usual indifference.
"I already said for you to knock before entering, didn't I?" He asked in his strict tone, but it did nothing to me.
"If you have nothing to say, I will be going then." I said and turned back.
I felt his pressure increasing on me, but it has no effect in me, so I simply shrugged it off and walked towards the door.
"Are you sure you want to simply go like that? What if I told you I found someone who can treat your mother?"
I stopped moving and turned back towards him with the frostiest expression I have ever had on my face through all my 30 years of life.
"Speak."
I saw him frowning when he heard my words.
"This is not how you t-"
"S.P.E.A.K." I slowly spelled while giving off a deadly aura and a pressure that cracked the walls.
"Dear…" The woman started trembling due to being affected by the pressure, but her children were fine.
"Stop!" He shouted while glaring at me.
I glared back and didn't move an inch.
"Argh! I will speak, just stop it!" He shouted again while looking worriedly at his woman.
The pressure vanished like it was a lie and I waited for his words.
After seeing that the pressure was gone, he breathed a sigh of relief and looked back at me while concealing the rage inside his eyes.
"My father knew a good doctor and I met him when I was young. After some years of trying to know his whereabouts, I finally found his disciple who I happened to hit it off with. His master ended up dying around a decade ago, so his disciple is the best doctor I know of. I asked him if he could cure your mother and gave him the detailed explanation of her illness. He said he could, but he had a condition. He wanted his disciple, a 12-year-old boy to be taught to fight by someone of our family." He stated while looking directly at me and studying my expression.
"…" I said nothing, silently gesturing for him to continue.
"I agreed and he will be arriving here tomorrow. The teacher who I decided is none other than you. Bing Qing, you will be his disciple, Ye Chen's master." He said while getting up.
Although I didn't like the idea, if there was a chance of my mother being cured, then I wouldn't mind it.
I saw my father stealing a quick peek at the servant who brought me here and with my mana sense I saw the servant slightly nodding.
"You may go back." He said and shooed me away before starting to check on his woman.
'Pathetic.' I thought, but didn't spend a single second more in that room.
I quickly walked back to my room and arriving there, sat on my bed.
I looked outside my window and saw the beautiful moon hanging high in the night sky with the stars being around it.
*SIGH*
Sighing, I picked the medicine I use to sleep and swiftly swallowed it.
'Huh? The taste is differ…..ent.'
My vision started to darken and my conscience seemed to be slowly submerged in murky darkness that seemed to not want to let me go.
'Wh…a..t.........'
I lost consciousness.
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"This is Ye Chen, your new disciple."
"Ye Chen, this is Bing Qing, your master."
'I can't move my body...'
"From today onwards, you two are master and disciple. Bing Qing, make sure to watch for Ye Chen's back as his master, okay?"
"Yes, father."
'My voice? This isn't me! I didn't say it! What is happening!?'
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*SIGH*
"That stupid disciple of mine sure can't control his thing, huh."
'He isn't my disciple!'
Looking at the bloody scene before me, I can't help but want to puke due to the butchered corpses and scattered organs all around the room.
'WHY DID I DO IT!?!? THEY DID NOTHING WRONG!!!! IT WAS YE CHEN, THAT BASTARD WHO TRIED TO R*PE THIS MAN'S WIFE!'
"He goes after other women even though he has me. *SIGH*"
Hearing those words coming out of my mouth, I snapped.
'SHUT UP! THIS BODY IS MINE AND YOU ARE NOT DOING AS YOU PLEASE!'
I glanced at a bloodied mirror and saw my expression split in half.
Half was smiling helplessly, like Ye Chen does this all the time.
The other half was showing despair, as if someone desperately wanting to free themselves from suffering.
"Well, I better clean this mess before our lesson."
Then, my body moved on its own and started to clean the room.
'No… this… i…sn't….m…..e…..'
My consciousness blurred and I gradually fell asleep.
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'What was I thinking again?'
'Oh… that is it. I was thinking about how to help my disciple, Ye Che-'
"Bing Qing!"
'What? Who is calling me?'
"What is it?" My voice sounded confused.
Why am I confused?
Wasn't I going to help Ye Chen?
"Currently, you are f*cked."
'What? What is this man talking about?'
"Basically, your disciple, Ye Chen made some deal or something with a being that he shouldn't. Now, you can be sure that after what happened there, he will never again be the same and I seriously doubt that it is going to be in the positive side of the spectrum."
'Being?'
'What be-'
*CRACK*
Suddenly, I heard a cracking sound inside my mind.
You attacked a child.
'What? I did no-'
You killed innocents for a coldblooded murderer's sake.
'What?'
You killed them.
Kids.
Elderly.
Everyone.
'No! I didn't!'
Even if you didn't directly kill them, what do you think that would happen to those children after you killed their parents?
Is this world a good place where they would be welcomed with open arms?
'No…'
What would your mother think about it?
'…'
My heart clenched as memories of my mother invaded my mind.
Sweet moments.
Fun moments.
But then, she sleeping.
Not waking up.
Then me turning into a monster.
Killing innocents.
Destroying whole lives.
'All for what?'
Ye Chen's sake of course.
'His sake? He can go burn in hell, for all I care.'
Why?
Didn't you care about him?
'NO!'
Then why did you do all of it?
'I…'
Why?
Laying down on a bed, I look at the dark ceiling of the room.
I don't even how I arrived here, at this mansion, but here am I.
'I…' Tears start to gather at the corner of my eyes.
Why?
'I don't know.'
Was that you?
'What?'
Was the one who committed all those atrocities and heinous acts, you, Bing Qing?
'NO! THAT WASN'T ME! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT WAS ME!'
Yes, that indeed wasn't you. However, it doesn't matter.
You did it, willingly or unwillingly.
'…'
What do you feel now?
'…'
Rage?
Hatred?
Helplessness?
'…'
Why are you trying to throw away the guilt?
'…'
You are guilt, and that is a fact.
However, it is also a fact that you can atone for "your" sins.
'…How?'
Isn't that obvious?
'What?'
Did you forgot the promise you made to your mother?
My eyes instantly widened.
'No matter what, never lose yourself, okay? Can you promise this?'
Tears started to leak out of my eyes and I clutched my pillow tightly.
The time to suffer has already passed.
You are free now.
Make peace with yourself and go after what is important.
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'What is important?'
No matter how much I think about it or anything else, my mind always drift back to the terrible things I did.
'Why did I-'
'Won't you make your swing~?'
Suddenly, my cheeks flushed red, my heartbeat speed up, my tails started to dance in a wilder manner, my ears twitched and my body heat up.
"Let's go~"
Looking forwards, I saw the man responsible for freeing me smiling in our direction.
His smile is so beautiful yet also so pained.
Why is that?
'Ah… He is also like me…'
However…
'He is trying to change.'
A small smile inevitably formed on my lips.
'Then, maybe…'
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'I can too.'
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A/N: Hello there, I hope you are having a wonderful day!
(Quick note: I will post today's chapter later today, so don't worry.)
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