Isabelle's POV:
Isabelle walked away in a hurry, trying to swallow her tears. Her lip quivered, her eyes welled up, and her throat felt like it was closing up. She couldn't explain why exactly she felt so distraught. She didn't understand why it hurt so much.
Annette was telling the truth. Isabelle has made plenty of mistakes during the day. But it was their laugh, their mockery, that hurt her. She thought she escaped it since she came back to Ariadna, but it was instead concealed behind her back.
Isabelle wasn't sure where to go. She just wanted to be as far away from Cassian's study and royal quarters as possible.
She wandered around the castle until she found a darkened corridor that she was not fully aware of yet. Most importantly, there was no one there. She could enjoy the solitude without any prying eyes. Without guards or maids or any other castle workers.
As she followed it down, and around, and she went up a staircase and another she found a door. She pushed it open to be met by the cold and strong howling wind, the flickering lights welcomed her in a distance.
But she ignored the vicious weather, or that she was cold, and that water was falling onto her, making her hair and clothes cling to her. All the hair powder that was forced upon her washed off.
She needed that. She needed the quietness and escape from everyone. She needed the peace to organise her mind.
And what better place than a roof of a castle?
She sat on the edge of the roof, looking at the light at a distance. Even though she was alone, she didn't feel nearly as alone as she used to. But still. She grew closer to her maids and Samuel. They were good to her.
But she has lost all the hope for being close with Cassian. The tears run down her face. She didn't mean for them. She didn't want them.
She tried to be the best she could but her inadequacies have been pointed out almost all of the time. There was nothing that she did right.
But maybe she never was going to be given a chance. She knew of Cassian's and Annette's friendship. She saw their interactions. She saw how easily Cassian were to buckle down under any of Annette's requests. Annette mentioned wild strawberries and here they were the next day. She saw how he looked at Annette when she spoke of anything.
Isabelle was nothing more than an obstacle.
She didn't realise how cold she has gotten with only her dress on.
The stormy evening was grounding to her emotions and overwhelm.
She was panting, almost choking on her own tears. She wanted to scream on top of her lungs but nothing, no voice, left her lips.
The lights in the distance vanished in the increasing rainfall.
She was increasingly dizzy as her emotions grew in force. She shouldn't have been hopeful about Cassian. He was not Atlas, and Atlas was the only person that has ever made her feel important. She curled down on the cold stone of the roof, shivering more and more as the memories flooded her mind again.
Ever since she came to Ariadna she couldn't stop the reoccurring thoughts of Atlas. She buried him deep for a while now. She pushed him away enough to forget about him before the wedding. But being back in his home where he wasn't was soul shattering.
Seeing Cassian who was so similar in his looks but yet so different in his character was a continuous painful reminder of the reality.
Hours have passed before Isabelle's tears run dry. Her skin turned blue. Her lips quivered and teeth were chattering.
But she cried all of it out. She was numb.
She got up, feeling weak and exhausted. She didn't need to punish herself much more. It was time to retreat.
She came back inside, slowly walking down the king empty corridors. Evening has set as the oil lamps were dulled.
She walked looking at her feet, ashamed of being herself.
A pair of dark brown boots appeared before her. She looked up warily to be met by the pair of warm brown eyes that gave her a sympathetic look.
"Sir Asselin." Isabelle curtsied. Samuel scowled at her. "Samuel." She corrected herself.
"Where have you been?" Samuel asked with a sigh. Without a prompt he took his cape off and wrapped it around Isabelle's shoulders. "You're soaked."
"That's a good observation." Isabelle smiled at him. "I was on the roof."
Samuel's eyes showed worry but he didn't try to push Isabelle to tell him what was wrong. Instead he pulled the cape tighter around her.
"I think you should get yourself dry now. You're leaving a puddle on the floor."
Isabelle looked down and blushed in embarrassment, her cheeks barely gaining a pinkish hue. She nodded in agreement and started walking back. Samuel walked beside her, firstly in silence as he contemplated the right thing to say.
"Thank you for getting the anise hyssop today." Isabelle broke the silence at last. "I have not yet expressed my gratitude. You must've been going through a big struggle to get considering the weather."
"I'm fine. Although, I am concerned that you have made that journey yourself. It was not the most pleasant ride, regardless of the weather." Samuel furrowed his brows. "In the future, I am more than happy to run the errands of this kind on your behalf. Just say a word."
"It was rather freeing to be outside of the castle walls." Isabelle answered honestly. "I have enjoyed it much more than days in a dim room."
"I see. In that case, ride out to wherever you want and to your heart content." Samuel stopped once they've reached the final staircase leading to the royal quarters. Isabelle looked back at him and raised her brows. "May you have a good night, your highness." He bowed his head.
"Your cape?" Isabelle asked as he already turned ready to leave.
"Return it some other time. Shall I call for your maid?"
"No, thank you. I can manage myself perfectly well."
Samuel left as quickly as he appeared.
Isabelle hesitated before entering the royal quarters. She almost run to her room, daring not to look at the closed door of Cassian's room. It still hurt to think of him.