I often have nightmares, or had, since I suppose this is the last time I will have slept for the rest of my life. In these nightmares it was often that there was a theme of people leaving me, much like how it went in real life. No matter how much I cried, wailed, yelled for help or screamed, there was never anyone to hear me.
I was alone in the void, and I got swallowed.
I have never been good with relations, romantic or friendly. It's always been the case that I have creeped out many people, aside from a couple that I got to know via mmorpgs. I always kept to myself, and as long as I got to be away from others, I usually felt at peace. But it was lonely, knowing that not a single being would care if I vanished.
In the nightmare I would often die that way. Being unsupervised and young, I would find myself getting into dangerous situations, and then when I inevitably died a horrible death to my mistake. people would look at my body and either look at it in disgust or laugh.
I always felt that that nightmare would come true one day.
...
I felt something wet on my knee as I slowly woke up. With the sun still rising, I guessed it would be around 6-6.30am. I looked towards the strange sensation that woke me up, and found her licking my knee.
"...What?"
I pulled away my leg instinctively. She looked at me with a mix of confusion and worry, and reached out her arm towards it for what i assume is to keep it in place.
I could see a tiny bit of blood trickling off my knee, it could be that I scraped it earlier when I got drunk. Was it that that got her so worried, a small cut?
"I-it's fine, no need to worry. Just a small cut." I tried to assure her. But it seemed like either she didn't believe me, as she went and stared at my wound again.
Just by her gaze I could tell what she wanted to tell me, and I don't think she'll back out.
"I'll help." she said, as she grabbed onto my leg and continued licking my knee once again. It was a weird feeling, having this random person.. or animal, or something, wrapping her tongue around a cut. It wasn't painful, nor exactly uncomfortable, but it felt weird to me nonetheless.
But I guess it was fine if she wanted to. It's not like I care all that much about what happens to me. Instead, I petted her head as she licked me, which caused her to blush a little.
"Thank you." I said to hear. "It means a lot to me."
If only for a little while, I get to see someone that cares about me. It's more than I ever could have wished for.