Well hello there you probably heard of me from some other bullshit my friend wrote, I don't remember much, but all I know is the writers are dicks. They put me in here, and guesswhat I cant get out.
Anyways if you don't know who I am like the loser you are I'm connor Wagner yes, "The Connor Wagner" the guitar guy from "The Double West". Yes this is my dumb double D player best friend TJ Wilson. That bitch can play, not cards but with his, well you know what I mean. We were a band for 3 months and got platinum, and got the fun stuff. Alright I gotta go get drunker bye, well you'll see me.
"Hey uh buddy y'know where anybody coouuuuld bre hgiding noooow, Ohhh thats where TuTuTJ is, he goota be in his room" I say. I walk over there with a heiniken in my hand. Knock knock knock. Hey T T T TJ. you in here? I Say. i open up the door and see the sex thriving, TJ has a blind fold on. I bet she's hot, but she's a bit heavy. Open up your eyes dumbass. I say. TJ takes it off and changes his face to terrified. "OHHH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GET OFF ME MRS WHALE". She says. "No" and lays down on him. "CONNOR HEEELP" TJ screams.
I go running over to him and push her off, she grabs me as she's falling off and pulls me on TJ. I land on his dick. Every sound stops. We both look at each other and Scream "AHHHHHHHH GET THE FUCK OFF" the Whale lady grabs me by the hair and shoves me on his dick. I grab the beer bottle off the table crack it and stab her in the guts. Okay if you knew how big she was you'd see it didn't do anything. So i do it repeatedly until she lets go. She falls back into the wall and punches me in the face, i drop the bottle onthe bed and tj picks it and slams her against the wall and stabs her n the neck, and says. "My dick cums at a cost". We look at each other and start saying "we never saw this". I say. I didn't see it, but I'll remember the taste, always". (foreshadow)
Tj puts pants on and walks out there, I come with him. He puts his hand on a guy's shoulder and says. Hey buddy, heres 10,000 dollars in my back pocket please go clean that uh mess up in there" He says backs. "How bad will it be"? TJ says. "Worth 10k"
We go out and we see a kid looking to be a freshman on his first day. Me and TJ look at each other and say. "Showtime" TJ says to him. Hey buddy how you doin' the kid says good. TJ says. I see you got that needle in your hand there, you're debating if you're gonna use it.