After Jace has left the room I feel eyes on me, I turn to find that James is carefully studying me. I look at Scar and see her eyes fluttering as she is fighting sleep and I know that she is very close to losing the battle. "Scar get some rest we are all here for you and we all love you. I'm probably going to go visit Mama Bear and I'll be back later, ok?" She holds her hand out to me and I take her hand between my hands, and I squeeze her hand gently.
"Please don't tell Mama Bear, I really don't want her to see me this way...I didn't even want you to see me like this..." She looks so sad and embarrassed, and I feel sad that she would feel embarrassed because she is still beautiful and all I can see is one tough strong ass girl. Before I can reassure her and give her a hug and tell her that I won't tell Mama Bear, Jace comes back into the room followed by Cam. Cam comes to me and gives me a hug that almost makes me cry he has always been like an older brother to me. I watch as he shakes hands with James, "Cam this is James, James this is Cam. He is like an older brother to me just as much so as Jace is. Cam James is...I guess to put a title on it.... James is my boyfriend." He looks at me and then he sizes up James and instantly I see the protective older brother look creep into his face.
"Well, it is nice to meet you, James. Ella and I may not be blood siblings, but she is very much a sister to me, and she is a very special person, Jace told me what had happened at the apartment. Ella why the hell didn't you tell Jace and I anything we both would have done something to take care of the situation? James, I respect you hugely for being there and taking care of my sister." He nods his head in approval and I feel as though I dodged at least one bullet. "Ella, it doesn't matter what Jace, or I have going on please don't not tell us something like that again, ok? Family sticks together." He gives me another hug and I am relieved that Cam is not as angry as Jace had been. Jace also approaches me and hugs me closely, "You are very important to our family I know that it isn't easy to always open up to us, but we really wish that you would. You can trust us, anything that we would do for Scar we would also do for you. I am sorry that I got so upset when you first told us what happened, but I felt so guilty and angry that I was not able to be there and to be able to protect you. James thank you for what you are doing for Ella. You have done us a great service of protecting her." This makes me feel much better I mean I have always thought of Jace as somewhat of an older brother and it really did scare me that he reacted that way but in true family fashion he wasn't mean, but he opened up and explained why he had such an intense reaction.
I really am sorry guys. James has stayed with me ever since it happened, and I just didn't want y'all to have anything else on y'alls plate. I am glad that I see just how much of a family that we are. Unfortunately, I gotta head out and go see my Mama." I give them a small smile and I watch how Jace goes to the side of Scarlet's bed and kisses her gently on her forehead and walks back to us, "I'll walk y'all out." As he speaks, I see an emotion cross his face and I don't know how to read it. Just as we turn to head out of the door the door opens startling us all. Scarlet's doctor walks into the room and I can feel the anxiety in the room just shoot through the roof. I notice that the doctor has a look of concern on her face.
"Well, my goodness you have a full room, Miss Scarlet. Hello everyone. How are you feeling today? How is your head? Do you need anything for the pain?" Scarlet thinks about her words for a second before she responds to her doctor. In a barely audible voice, she responds to the questions from her doctor.
"My head hurts pretty bad but I don't want any more pain medicine, it makes me too sleepy, and I don't want to sleep anymore. Honestly I really just want the feeding tube removed it is uncomfortable so if we could do that, please I would be really appreciative." Her eyes flutter again telling me that she is once again fighting sleep and that she is very likely close to losing the battle.
"Well unfortunately Miss Scarlet we need to leave it in place for now...we have finally received the results from your most recent MRI and unfortunately the results aren't what we had been hoping for and we have had to change your care plan." She gives all of us an apologetic look.
My heart sinks in my chest and I look to Cam to see that he looks absolutely devastated as though he just received news that she wouldn't be ok. Next, I look to Jace, and I see that he is holding his breath and his eyes are red and glassy which tells me it is taking everything in him not to break down. James is beside me in a second holding me around the waist, he must have seen that my legs were wobbling. Collectively our eyes all fall on Scar's doctor waiting for her to finish giving us the bad news.
Like any good doctor does she looks at each of us making sure that she makes eye contact with everyone before she continues speaking. At this point my legs are ready to give out on me with anticipation of what she will say next, I am very thankful for James for he is fully supporting all of my weight at this time. It also surprises me because I know that I weigh a decent amount and he does it as if I weigh nothing and holds me upright without even struggling.
She takes a deep breath as if she knows that the news that she is going to give us is going to be hard to swallow which in turn makes my anxiety grow. "Well unfortunately her MRI is not looking as promising as we had hoped that it would. The original plan had been to monitor her for the next 24 hours and then she would be allowed to go home. Now we have her results back from the MRI...there really is no easy way to say this, but unfortunately, we have come to the conclusion that she will need to stay here for further tests and observation for at least another week. The hope is that in the week that she is here we observe that she is getting better. The results from her MRI show that she has some concerning spots on her brain that we aren't too sure about. We don't know how bad the damage is or what the damage will affect if anything at all. Either way we would feel better if she stayed with us a little longer. We are hopeful that her in a couple days we will be able to take another MRI and see some improvements. I am truly sorry for the bad news we had been hoping for much better results." She again makes eye contact with all of us leaving me for last and she holds my gaze slightly longer than everyone else as she turns to leave the room.
I notice that I had been holding my breath and it all rushes out as if I have been punched in the chest knocking all of the wind from my lungs. I breathe deeply feeling the prickle in my eyes knowing that I am just seconds away from crying. Scarlet looks as though she has been told that she is going to die, I wish that I could comfort her but at this moment I am so shattered that I don't even know how to comfort myself. I walk over to the side of her bed and give her the biggest tightest hug I can manage without causing her to be in more pain. I feel the tears begin to stream down my face and I can hear that she is fighting the urge to cry by holding her breath as she does when she is not ready to show people her true emotions.
"I whisper in her ear because I know that I can't force my voice out at more than a whisper and I really don't want anyone to hear my voice wobble because she is the only one who has ever truly seen me break down, "It is going to be ok Scar. I love you sister stay strong and focus on getting better. We are all here for you and I won't be going back to the apartment till you are there with me. Please get some rest and don't let this knock you down, you are so strong, and I will be strong for you and with you. I gotta go but I promise you that I will be back very soon." I squeeze her again because I need to feel that she is still here with us because this all feels like a bad dream, the worst dream I have ever had in my life. I walk back to James, and he gently uses his thumb to wipe away some of the tears still on my face. I take one more look at Scar and she speaks to me, "I'll be fine El go see your mom I will see you soon. I love you."
I see her eyes flutter and I know that she is very close to sleep because I could hear it in her voice. Her eyes shut again and this time they don't open, I know that at this point in time that she has lost her battle against sleep and part of me feels a bit of relief for she doesn't look like she is in pain as she sleeps. It comforts me to great lengths to know that she can escape some of the pain at least for just a little while. Jace walks to her bed and kisses her hand before leaving a sweet gentle kiss on her forehead before he walks to the door with us. He looks as if his whole world is crashing down around him and that he has no way out.
Jace walks us to the elevator and my heart feels like it is going to burst I want to comfort him so badly I just don't know how to. Finally, as we are in front of the elevator waiting for the doors to open to whisk us away from the ICU Jace turns to me and I can see in his eyes how truly broken he is from the news that we have all just received. "My boss called; he said that if I don't come back to work tomorrow at least for a few days that he will fire me. I don't want to leave her, but I don't want to lose my job either. Please be here with her as much as you can be, I'll make sure that your rent is paid that way you don't have to worry about it while you are out here."
"Of course, I will stay Jace I don't plan to go back until she is coming home with me. As for rent don't worry about it Jace I will figure something out. You just go work and take care of your business; I'll be here when you get back." I give him a hug trying to comfort him at least a little. As I pull back from the hug, I can see that the usual mask that he wears is firmly in place. I hear the ding of the elevator and James and I turn to get on the elevator, just before the doors close, he says one more thing to me, "Well I have already talked to your landlord and paid your rent for the next 3 months. I knew that you would refuse my help. Have a goodnight."