Chapter Thirty-Three – I'm Making My Own Rules, I'm Choosing My Own Muse
"Is it my imagination, or have you gotten better since I last heard you sing?" August asked while handing him a cup of coffee.
Rusty had been busy checking out her place while she got busy with the coffee and, so far, he had come to the conclusion that his old acquaintance was still perfectly capable of turning any space into her own. The studio was small and cozy; there were flowers in a small vase on the table, and on the wall were a few posters featuring rock'n'roll stars that must have been brought over from her old place. There was also the familiar guitar in the corner, and he remembered how he had tried his hand at plucking the strings, but never getting too far. As opposed to him, August was more than adequate at making the stringed instrument behave under her fingers. Regardless of how much he had insisted that she should pursue that hobby in a more organized fashion, she had always said 'no'. He was one to talk. He was hiding a lot more than she was.
"Yeah," he eventually replied, tearing his eyes away from the vestiges of their shared memories. "I'm actually studying with a vocal coach. Her name is Meryl May, and she's amazing."
"For real? That's so cool." She sat by his side on the sofa, folding one leg under the other and resting her head against her palm, elbow resting a mere inch away from his shoulder. "What caused the change of heart? I though your dad had said 'no', and that was that."
Rusty shrugged. "Do you really want to listen to my life story?"
"Why not? Unless you have somewhere else you need to be." She angled her head and looked at him, the shadow of a smile quirking her lips.
"Not really." He was supposed to be away all weekend, so it wouldn't hurt to hang out with August for most of the day. Also, there was the matter of postponing the inevitable, which involved getting questioned at length by Maddox and the others.
"How did it come about? You getting the vocal coach?"
"Maddox, unlike me," he said pointedly, "is gay now. He has a boyfriend, sorry, fiancé, and it was because of that guy's mom that I was forced to take lessons."
August laughed. "It sounds like the kind of story you'd go through. And? Any regrets?"
"Nah, I told you, she's awesome. I mean, she's hard on me and everything, but I like to learn from her. She's really good at what she does."
"I wasn't talking about the vocal coach." August's eyes shadowed slightly.
Rusty pursed his lips for a moment. Wasn't she full of questions now? "If you're talking about Maddox and his fiancé, which I think you're hinting at, no. What regrets? I wasn't crushing on my bestie, if that's what your pervy mind keeps telling you."
"I believe you," August said honestly. "But forgive me if I feel the need to needle you a little more. It must have come as a big surprise that your bestie, as you call him, who got an awesome ass because of fucking girls a lot, turned out to be hot for a boy."
"Well, first of all, it's not just any boy. Do you know Jonathan?"
"I have to admit that I wasn't particularly curious about him. I just got here, remember? I just read in that little gossip rag about them. Well, I was actually reading about you, and they were mentioned, Maddox and his better half."
"If you knew Jonathan, you'd understand. That guy is, I don't know, perfect or something." Rusty shrugged, growing more and more uncomfortable with this line of questioning. It wasn't because he was nurturing some unrequited love for Maddox – that had never been so – and the simple fact that, because of August now, he was thinking more and more in terms of that elusive word, was a clear sign that he was losing control of the narrative, so to speak.
"Ah, I see. Perfect. So not like you."
"August, what the hell do you want me to tell you? I've never crushed on Maddox. He's my bestie. My bro. And even though we measured our dicks once, that didn't mean anything."
August let out a noncommittal grunt, probably only to irk him more. "What are you chasing nowadays, Rusty Parker? It's not your bestie, I get it. That's all for the better, by the way. Just as you say that you're seeing him as your bro, he must see the same when he looks at you."
"Chasing? Why should I be chasing after someone?" he asked, feeling that familiar irritation growing, when August was trying to do that whole mumbo-jumbo soul-searching crap.
"I didn't mention a person. You're the most restless guy I've ever met. You never sit still, because there's something better you haven't found yet."
"Well, if you're so keen to know," he said, "I'm actually chasing a cat boy." Dragging August away from dangerous topics that he didn't care to talk about, by using half a truth, was one way to go. "There's one at Sunny Hill. He has a tail and claws and everything. He's very sexy, too."
"Ah, I see. Where does that leave Matty? Or is it good that you don't have to chase him?"
"Matty's in it for fun, as I told you." The way he was insisting made it all sound fake to his own ears. Yeah, Matty hadn't run away from him, always game, always ready for trying out things, and it had been such a breath of fresh air, that he didn't need to endlessly hunt something down, which was exciting, but also too exhausting.
"I think you should ask him, just to check," August suggested. "It really baffles me how you don't realize how easy it might be for people to fall for you."
Rusty rolled his eyes. "That's so chick talk. I take that back. You're not like a dude. You're exactly like a chick. You see love intrigues and romance and all that crap that makes your kind get droopy eyes and all everywhere you look. It's not the same for dudes."
"Wow, defensive much?" August teased him. "Now, you've made me curious. How do you juggle the cat boy and your special friend? Do they know about each other?"
"They do," Rusty replied, feeling that he was back on solid ground. "Matty's cool with it. Slicky, I mean the cat boy, he doesn't know all but knows something."
"You have the craziest love life."
"It's not love, it's sex," Rusty argued. "Well, maybe it's sex with feels, especially where it concerns Matty, because he's an awesome friend, and I like him in his clothes, as well as out of them. And I like Slicky, too," he hurried to add. "Although I've done next to nothing with him. I can accept that he's just teasing me. It's all right."
August let out a long, drawn-out theatrical sigh. "Man, that sounds so complicated. But I supposed you've always been a bit aloof like that."
"And what's that supposed to mean? And aloof? Come on, I'm not like that. I always pay attention to whoever's in my bed. Or I in theirs."
"Yes, as far as sex goes. Take off that blindfold, Rusty. You might not like it when reality comes biting you in the ass."
Where had he heard that one before? People. He shrugged. "I have no clue what you're talking about. That's what happened with us? I was aloof and didn't care enough or something?"
There was something in the way her face rearranged itself as she said the next words that left him without a real comeback. "No, you were just a kid. That's all." August stopped for a moment, fiddling with her cup. "And I guess, in retrospect, I should've known better."
"Great. You have regrets now," he said sullenly. "For the record, I don't."
August punched him in the shoulder. "Stop being so serious. We had fun. I told you. And I won't ever regret meeting you, because, let's admit it, Rusty, you're sort of unique."
"Sort of?" he quirked an eyebrow, a bit relieved that the tension seemed to be flowing out of their conversation.
"Totally unique," August corrected herself. "I can see you eyeing the guitar. Would you like to play?"
"Nah, I haven't touched one since then," he said. "But I'd like to hear you play, though."
"Only if you sing with me," August offered.
That was good, solid ground. That was one place where Rusty was convinced he wouldn't be accused of aloofness or anything similar. And he had always loved to sing when she was playing her guitar.
***
"Zoey," Matty said. Then, louder, "Zoey!"
"What?"
"You've been rubbing my arm for like the last half an hour. I'm afraid I'm starting to get a rash or something."
"Sorry, sorry," Zoey said and pulled away her hands. "Oh, damn, Matty, what are you going to do?"
He took her small hands in his and held them. Zoey, in her own way, was just trying to comfort him, and he understood as much. "It's not the end of the world. August, because I'm sure she's the mysterious woman, is one of Rusty's old friends."
"You mean, you know her?" Zoey caught herself in time and toned down her voice so that other people didn't start eavesdropping on their conversation.
After enduring a hefty lunch and Zoey's compassionate staring, Matty knew he had to convince his bestie – and himself – that Rusty being seen with a woman meant absolutely nothing. "I met her once, when I was shopping for Rusty's brother's birthday present. They seemed really fond of each other, although they haven't seen each other in a long time."
"Did they fuck?"
Sometimes, Zoey's frankness was difficult to see as a positive character trait. "Yes," he said, trying to sound as casual as possible.
Zoey groaned and hung on his arm again, bent on offering some more of her comforting. "I can't believe that floozy," she moaned. "She's trying to break your home, Matty."
"It happened a long time ago. Now, they're only friends," he continued the same thin line of reasoning. "And what home, really? You know that's not how things are between Rusty and I. I can't act like a jealous boyfriend out of the blue."
"But you are a jealous boyfriend," she insisted. "Come on, Matty, you know that's how you feel. Don't hide behind this cool, level-headed persona."
"What if that's exactly who I am?" Matty shot back.
Zoey sighed. "You wish. I wish you really were, but we both know it's not how things are. Right now, you're bottling things inside, and frankly, if I were you, I'd throw some dangerous objects in Rusty's direction the first moment I saw him."
"Xpress is usually talking out of their asses," Matty pointed out. "And, in the end, what's the whole scandal all about? Rusty being seen with a woman, a woman who I know is his friend. It's really absurd to get your panties in a twist over speculations thrown about by a bunch of nitwits imagining themselves keyboard warriors. Also, really, Zoey, getting all jealous and turning into some sort of accuser would only work against me." He stopped for a moment, a little breathless after his tirade.
Zoey appeared to ponder. "You're so smart, Matty. So much smarter than me. Of course, Rusty wouldn't take well to being on the receiving end of dangerous objects and accusations. And you know what?" she said and stared at him as if she had just realized something really important. "I think that's why Rusty likes you so much. Because you're so frank and not judgmental at all. However," she added, "you need to discover if he spent the night with her."
"I'm not going to ask him. It's his business. If he volunteers the information, that's fine. Otherwise, I'm not going to grill him like the freaking FBI."
Zoey grabbed one of her knees with both hands and appeared appeased for a bit. Then, she suddenly turned toward him once more. "Should Rusty go back to chicks and forget about dicks, I think you should have someone to fall back to."
"What? Are you suggesting I become a two-timer?" Matty asked. He fiddled with his straw for a bit.
"He'd be first to have done it," Zoey protested and played with her napkin, bent on turning it into a piece of art with little to no success. "You wouldn't be in the wrong. Also, there's nothing wrong with a bit of flirting. I'm not saying you should go dick-hopping all over the campus. Just have someone, you know, you'd enjoy to do a little bit of making sheep's eyes at."
"Sheep's eyes?" Matty shook his head and released a deep sigh.
"Liking Rusty doesn't make you blind to all the pretty boys around, I hope."
Blind, no. Matty hated how his mind moved on its own accord to the mysterious dark stranger with a knack for singing opera in the middle of the night, in front of half the campus. That kiss was still on his mind, whether he liked it or not.
"Matty?" Zoey waved her hand in front of him. "Are you still there? Who are you thinking of?"
"No one," he replied hastily.
"Then why are you blushing? O. M. G., there is someone else besides Rusty!" Zoey swung her body back and forth, gripped by excitement. "Who is it?"
"No one!" Matty repeated. "All right, so maybe something did happen last night."
"When we were all chasing you, trying to unmask you?" Zoey asked. "Tell me you're not thinking about some weird sado-masochistic play with one of the Implacables. I'd never live it down. I might begin to question the validity of our friendship for life."
"No. And they were all masked and dressed in black. However, for your peace of mind, there would only be one of the Implacables I'd ever get into a questionable relationship with."
"Who?!" Zoey shouted, and Matty had to shush her.
"That's you, dummy," Matty said with a sigh. "By the way, I noticed the help. Thanks a bunch. Although you're pretty crazy for doing this, and I need to tell you that."
"Talk about the cat boy calling the fake cultist black," Zoey retorted.
"Point taken," Matty admitted.
A short silence followed. "Well?" Zoey asked. "What happened last night?"
Matty hesitated and then whispered, "That guy, you know, the singer… he kissed me."
"Wow," Zoey said slowly and began smiling. "Was it good?"
"Pretty good."
"Oh gawd, I'm swooning. Catch me 'cause I'm about to fall. That guy is totally dreamy. Wait, was it better than when Rusty kissed you?"
"I didn't think of making any comparisons. And it also happened pretty fast. He used his cape to shield us from view, but he did kiss me. Only for a moment, though," he added.
"If he managed to get your knees to buckle and caused a storm of butterflies in your stomach, he's a dreamy kisser, too."
"I didn't say any of that. Gosh, you really like embellishing things, don't you?"
"You don't have to tell me. The look on your face says it all. You enjoyed getting kissed by that guy," Zoey said triumphantly. "Then, that's great. You're a masked hero. He's a masked hero. I'd say it's a match made in heaven."
"I'm not going to do anything," Matty pointed out. "I mean, Rusty is, most likely, innocent of all those weird insinuations in Xpress, and here I am, planning to cheat on him. Zoey, I'm blaming you. Stop dragging me to the dark side."
Zoey giggled, pleased as she seemed to be of being accused of that. "But it wouldn't be you being a flirt and all. It would be Slicky," she said and laughed out loud.
Matty rubbed his forehead. All this banter with his bestie had both the effect of curing his headaches and then giving him new ones.
***
It had been a fine day, all things considered, Rusty decided as he was walking back to the house. He pulled out his phone, hoping for another distraction that would make his day even better. Matty answered on the second ring.
"Hi," he said, "how's it hanging, my dawg?"
"Eww, Rusty, I'm not a dog," Matty said playfully.
"Right. That reminds me that I still want to see you with a cat tail."
"That is so not going to happen."
"We'll see about that. What are you doing? Are you busy?"
"No. I was actually waiting for your call to see if you wanted to hang out."
"Totally. My place? How long is it going to take you?"
"You sound like you're in a hurry or something. I can be out the door in ten."
That immediate response was one of the many things Rusty liked about Matty. "Okay, okay, you don't have to hurry that much. I mean, like don't forget your panties kind of hurry. Actually, forget your panties. You won't stay dressed for long, once you set foot in here."
"I don't wear panties," Matty argued. "Just boxers and stuff."
"Hmm," Rusty purred, "that's so not sexy, Matty. I need to see you in some cute thong or something."
A grunt was the next answer. "Well, I suppose you'll have to settle for seeing me in the buff."
"I can live with that," Rusty said with a sigh. "Now, hurry, 'cause time's a wasting."
"Roger that."
Rusty was still smiling as he put his phone back into his pocket and walked into the house. And, surprise surprise, everyone was there as if they had been waiting for him. "Hello," he drawled and smiled, ear to ear, now ready for the confrontation.
Kane was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. However, he was grinning, a sign that the guy actually appreciated his little play at costumes and entertainment. "I'll be damned, Rusty. You had like everyone fooled. And who's that chick?"
"What chick?" Rusty asked, apprehensive all of a sudden. He turned to take in Maddox and Jonathan, half-turned in their seats.
Dex came up to his side and let his heavy hand fall on Rusty's shoulder. "Are you cheating on Matty, Rusty? Be careful what you say," he wagged a finger at him, "because I might feel tempted to hurt you."
"I'm not cheating on Matty, what the hell?" Rusty shook his head, as if there was water in his ears.
"Then, who's she?" Dex asked.
Rusty took in his friends, one at a time, until he reached Maddox. His bestie was smiling, too, but in a way that bore a question mark with it. "Ask Maddie," he pointed at him. "He already knows. But how the hell--"
"Xpress, as usual," Jonathan supplied the answer and sighed. "Wait, I thought that gossip wasn't true. And why should Maddox know?"
"Because Rusty told me about an old friend that had just come to Sunny Hill to continue her studies. I suppose that's her," Maddox offered promptly.
Rusty could appreciate Maddox's consideration in not telling the others outright what he knew about August. Apparently, some weird shit had gotten reported in Xpress. Fuck, he needed to see what it was. Had Matty seen it? What was he thinking right now? What the hell was going on?
"Maddie, you can fill them all in on August," he said hurriedly. "I need to shower. When Matty comes, let him in."
"As if we'd leave him at the door, waiting like a dog," Kane said with a snort.
"Sorry, let me rephrase that. Let him in, and tell him to come to my room directly. You are all forbidden to talk to him. Only I talk to him."
"Weird, possessive… hmm, what are these signs of?" Kane wondered.
"I don't know, and I don't care," Rusty said quickly. "Gosh, I can't believe this shit with August has made the front page just as I'm launching my career." The last words he said under his breath.
"Ah, by the way, your singing was," Dex said and kissed his fingers.
Rusty already felt irritated about Xpress and its shit. "Yeah, yeah," he said and waved quickly as he rushed up the stairs. He needed to do damage control with Matty. Half-way, he realized. Matty hadn't sounded angry or upset or anything. Either he hadn't read Xpress or he didn't care.
Still, that was one area that Rusty didn't want to leave in the grey. Matty had to know that nothing had happened between him and August.
***
It wasn't the easiest task to keep any pesky thoughts moving randomly through his head away. He knocked and waited until Maddox came the door. "Hi, Maddox," he said and smiled.
He was welcomed with a matching smile. And with being grabbed by the shoulder and guided toward the foot of the stairs to the first floor. "Sorry, Matty, Rusty sternly instructed us not to talk to you before he did, which means that I'm basically breaking our promise by opening my mouth right now. You know where his room is."
"Yeah, sure," Matty said, a bit surprised. He hurried up the stairs without looking back.
When he entered Rusty's room after knocking, he ended up face to face with its rightful owner. Actually, he almost crashed into the other, but he was soon engulfed in a warm embrace, while the door closed behind him, as if by magic.
It took him just one moment to realize that Rusty was completely naked and smelling of soap. Also, his skin was a little damp, something that did funny things to his knees. He would've liked to push Rusty back only to look at him, but that wasn't possible because he was being held so tightly.
Talking didn't seem to be the first thing on Rusty's mind, despite what Maddox had said just earlier, because a strong hand was at the back of his neck, angling his head for a kiss, which Matty welcomed avidly. Rusty's lips on his were warm and demanding, and they didn't have to insist much to get what they wanted. The following moment, Matty had his arms wrapped around Rusty's strong back, and he was melting into the kiss faster than ice cream left in the sun.
There couldn't be many people in the world who could kiss the way Rusty kissed, with so much abandonment and keen desire. Matty wouldn't believe otherwise if it cost him years of his life. He kissed back, and he could tell that he was being moved toward the bed, although he couldn't really say if his feet were still touching the ground or not. When they finally landed on the bed, Rusty released his mouth.
"Hey," Matty said, breathing hard already.
"Hey," Rusty said with a naughty grin.
Then, much to his surprise, he moved away, giving him more space than he needed.
"Has anyone talked to you?" Rusty asked, as he lay on one side, and only had a hand on Matty's belly as a means of remaining connected, physically-wise.
"No," Matty lied. "Maddox just pointed at the stairs, then at me, then at the stairs again. I have no idea what that vow of silence is all about."
Rusty seemed to be satisfied with that piece of information. "Good. I told them not to talk to you before I did."
"Why?" Matty pushed himself up on his elbows to get a good look at Rusty. "Did something happen?"
Rusty rolled away and grabbed his phone. Then, he showed the screen to him. "Have you read this piece of shit?"
Matty pondered for a moment. There was no point in lying. After all, there were already so many hidden things to juggle while in Rusty's arms, and he really didn't need one more. "You met August, I suppose," he said. Wow, he deserved an award for how steady his voice sounded. "By the way they described her, I could only guess it was her."
"Yeah." Rusty searched his face for a moment. He seemed slightly dissatisfied.
"I have no idea what they're making such a huge deal out of it, because I don't see what the problem is," Matty babbled.
"You're not jealous," Rusty said, apparently bent on ignoring Matty's comments.
"Jealous? Why would I be?" Matty asked.
"Right," Rusty agreed. "Because there's no reason."
"Wait, did you think that I'd throw some hissy fit over you meeting your old friend?" Matty asked cautiously.
"A little, maybe. But, obviously, that was in my head," Rusty said quickly. Then, he brought one arm around Matty's shoulders and pulled him close. "That's my baby dude."
"Rusty, is it just my imagination, or are you a bit disappointed that I'm not throwing a hissy fit?" Matty asked. Since they were talking about it, why not get it all out in the open?
"Not disappointed. A bit surprised. Obviously, I don't know you that well," Rusty said. "I mean, if I'd been going steady with some chick, I bet she would've had my head by now." He rubbed himself against Matty as if he was trying to make enough room for himself to be as close as possible.
Matty wondered about those words. Rusty was right about one thing. They both didn't know each other that well. This was an opportunity to ask him if he had spent the night with August, but he worried that a simple question like that would ruin what he had built so far. So, he embraced Rusty back, relishing his proximity.
Finally, Rusty brushed his lips against Matty's ear. "Thank you for the trust."
A wave of relief washed through him. He had made the right choice, after all. And he did trust Rusty, no matter what pesky thoughts were trying to worm their way out of him. Yes, calm and level-headed, that was him. And that was, also, as it seemed, the very thing that Rusty liked about him.
Rusty threw one leg over his and began kissing him again. It felt a bit unnerving that he was still dressed while getting attacked like that. Once more, Rusty stopped and looked him in the eye. "I met August while I was grabbing breakfast. We talked and then I visited her place. That was it. That's the truth."
"Okay, you don't have to justify yourself," Matty said quickly.
"I think I do," Rusty replied with a small frown. "August thinks—never mind. I just want to be straight with you."
"I'm not sure I like the sound of that," Matty joked. What had August told Rusty? And about what? "I mean, the way you're humping my leg right now has nothing straight about it."
Rusty laughed and removed himself from Matty's arms. He was now on his feet, giving Matty a full frontal view of his male nudity. He pointed at him. "You hold that thought, because I plan on doing a lot more than just hump your leg tonight. And we'll see how straight you'll find it after that."
With those words, he turned on his heel, making a beeline for the door. Startled by the sudden move, Matty felt it necessary to intervene. "Rusty, where are you going?"
"I have to lift the vow of silence," Rusty explained. "Those guys love me so much that they are capable of ignoring you forever."
"I see. But don't you think you should put something on first?"
Only then did Rusty seem to realize that he was practically naked. Even the Mighty Thor was a bit indecent, as he had gotten bigger due to certain friction activities. Matty was certain he would never get over that nickname. Still, it had started to grow on him. Great, now he was thinking in puns. It had to be because of Rusty's proximity.
"Yeah, you're right." Rusty went to his closet, opened the two doors wide and then slammed them shut, as if he was trying to keep in some monster. He quickly grabbed a pair of sweatpants from a chair. "Good enough?" he asked, on his way out, while turning slightly for Matty to appreciate the state of things.
Maybe, at times, Matty could find it inside himself to be jealous. Because the sight of Rusty's naked torso was enough to make him believe that he didn't want that many other people to see it. However, for obvious reasons, he had to keep himself in check. "Yeah," he said.
Rusty walked closer and ruffled his hair. Then, he leaned over for a kiss and rubbed their mouths together for a while, until they both became breathless again. "Be right back."
***
He rushed downstairs, eager to go back as soon as possible. "Guys," he said quickly, "Matty's not jealous because he's a total baby dude, so you can talk to him about whatever."
"Sure," Kane said with a shrug. "Wait, does he know you're Rybalt?"
Rusty shushed his friend and looked up, as if to check if Matty was on the landing eavesdropping. "No, he doesn't. I'll tell him at some point."
"Why aren't you telling him that? It's a cool act you're pulling," Dex pointed out while having a beer.
"Yeah, but… I don't know. It's something I'll save for later." Rusty didn't want to examine what was keeping him from telling Matty about his secret identity and he wasn't in the mood to unpack that right now.
"Don't you think he should know? I thought you considered him a close friend," Jonathan said, turning toward him, Maddox's hand on his shoulder in what looked like an act of claiming possession.
"He's more than that," Rusty said.
"Really? Like what?" Maddox asked from behind Jonathan.
"He's my…" Rusty pondered for a moment, and then he understood it all at once. "He's my muse."
"What? That's so lol," Dex commented.
"Why?" Rusty bristled. "Because he's a dude?"
"No, because--" Dex began but he stopped abruptly.
Rusty turned toward Jonathan but saw nothing. Whatever had prevented Dex from yapping his mouth must have come from that side, but both Maddox and his fiancé seemed interested in their textbooks more than anything.
"Because you just say random stuff most of the time," Kane hurried to the rescue.
Rusty put his chin up. "It's nothing random. You're just jelly I make my own rules."
"And choose your own muse, apparently," Kane said under his breath, wiggling his eyebrows, as if he knew shit.
"Yeah, that too," Rusty said pointedly. "So, talk to Matty, but not about Rybalt, okay? Also, we shall not be disturbed for the foreseeable future. Good night! I said, good night!"
He walked away stiffly, ignoring the muffled laughter that followed him all the way up the stairs. Ha, they knew nothing. And Matty was his muse, in a way. Probably because being with him, sexy times and all, was so awesome that it made him feel as if he could fly if he wanted.
TBC