"Geiyra,..." he corrected, "... you know for yourself you can be capable of great and frightful things. Please help me help you not turn to the girl we are scared of." he pleaded with eyes that long to see her happy.
For the first time in her life, a person outside her family also wants her to be happy. Hard to believe hearing this from a man he barely knew but she wanted more, now that nobody will.
After all, Lord Derktse and Sir Herelph were a good company of each other. Although it's only been recently that they were planning to acquaint the rest of the members of the family with each other. It's good to know that family allies care like this.
It wouldn't hurt if they continue being good with each other in Lord Derktse's name.
But she still wants to mourn.
"I want to know Iuliān. I've been thinking about my sister ever since I was in the tower. We did not come home together and she wasn't home for days, I want to know. I still can't stop thinking about what I did to her." tears started to fall as she did in the stone tower.
"Geiyra,..." he sighed seeing her tears and he started to give in. "Do you want to regret what might happen to you if what I'll tell you will make you benumbed to yourself?" he doesn't want to deprive Geiyra of what happened but he doesn't think it's time. There's too much going on inside her head already.
"I'll be fine," she said with hesitation in her voice, "You're here to keep me in check. Just... call me by my name. That usually works. Or... hold my hand. My mother knows how to calm me down — sometimes," she said as he reminisces and she cried once more.
"Shhh, there, there." he began to panic seeing her bawling. She's such a baby talking about her mother but this is a baby you need to keep the emotion at a threshold, 'Oh this is not happening' he thought to himself.
He hugged her and was reluctant to caress his hand along her spine but he did it just to calm her down.
"Geiyra, I'll only tell you about your sister after we make a bonfire," he said to her still hugging her. He doesn't know if it's in any way comforting to her but he doesn't how else would he do it otherwise?
She nodded as he feels his warmth. To Lady Geiyra, not being alone today is enough for her.
Iuliān could feel her breathing. She pressed her head into his neck feeling almost fuzzy inside.
When she is finally breathing a little slower, they decided to camp. They then picked up the branches and twigs in their arms and went back to where they came from.
Iuliān is getting his memories and thoughts sorted so that whatever he might tell her will be enough not to get her irked or too sad. She's already feeling ever so miserable so he doesn't know if telling her more sad things is good. Of course, it's not, he thought to himself.
To add, it was rather not a pleasant memory for him remembering what happened to Lady Radelaine. He's thinking about telling her other stories than with it about her sister.
"What do you remember happened when we were in the palace?" he asked as he two grinds wood against each other and blew its smoke at the same time.
"Everything," she said straight away not even hiding from him her predicament. She was aware of what she did and how she wanted to shut her sister up by choking her.
Forbye her will and freedom were not of hers alone.
When he paused grinding the firewood from the surprise at what Geiyra said — unsure what it entails, the fire developed, so even from the shock, he continued to work his fire.
He rather did not expect an honest answer to such a difficult response she have.
He got curious, "Did you want- sorry I shouldn't ask." he was quick to reflect that the question can be rather too personal or that the answer is very straightforward that asking it would be insulting.
"Did I want to do it, is what you were going to say," she said knowing for a fact that it was the reason why her being vicious is an understatement.
Iuliān doesn't know if he's going to nod or say no to her. It's difficult to read her to know what would be appropriate to say to her.
"I'm inhumane, Iuliān. I wanted to see people die." she looked straight into his eyes saying those words like she wanted him to know how any word that may describe her is a euphemism.
She wanted to see if it'll scare him away. She wanted to know if after this he'll have the stomach to still help her out. Almost like she's testing the waters.
Iuliān saw how desperate she is, that she be understood. Right away he knew that although what she was saying could all be true, she liked snapping people out of their souls, it was only for a moment. She loathes seeing the aftermath as much as other people did.
Like what she said is not to be affright, Iuliān began his story about her sister, "After what happened in the banquet, you both were carried into a carriage and out of the palace. Different carriage though, but yeah, you were both unconscious..." he said ignoring what she said.
"You may not listen to me, but you know what you just heard Iuliān." slightly irate by changing the course of their conversation, she didn't let Iuliān get away from it.
"Do you want to kill me now?" Frustrated by her sudden confession to try and see a reaction from him, he knew now how true her words are, but he doesn't want to continue her talk when it can be the beginning of her unleashing whatever it is that comes out of her hand.
Confused by the reaction she got from him, she said, "No." she expected either a comforting one or a disappointing response. She can even hardly think about killing anybody right now, certainly not Iuliān.
He sighed in exasperation. He's trying his best to keep the passion in her emotion toned done, but she's going at it again.
"Don't you think I wouldn't know that by now? Phraselm probably realized that after seeing you on the ground throwing a tantrum like a child..." he paused trying to reduce the intensity in his voice. "If your thoughts and senses weren't there when you were out there hurting people thinking only of revenge, regret won't be with you but with confusion."
As calm as he can be, he added, "Geiyra, you can not let yourself be in a situation where you allow yourself to be too sad or too angry. I know you are in a difficult position right now but try and remember what causes you to do unspeakable things."
Silence deafened them.
There's too much going on and is hard for Geiyra to keep tabs on what to look out for even if there's only one that matters — her being in control.
She wanted to bawl her eyes out again but she didn't want to see him getting frustrated at her. She regrets telling him those things.
"Do you still want to know what happened to your sister?" he said after the stillness as he thought of something that might give her relief.
"I thought telling me that won't be good for me." She looked at him with her eyes so red and her chest tightening trying to hold her tears.
"I know now that it's something you can take," he said and she nodded.
Looking at her holding her tears got him worried again.
"I don't know from then what happened to you but your sister was brought into Sir Herelph's manor in Little West town. She had bruises on her neck so the person who cares for the sick attended to her bruises and then we were advised to bring her home on the third day since she's well enough." he leaned his back on the tree and looked at Geiyra with eyes telling her that that was the story.
"That's it?" she asked, waiting for something worse.
"That was what happened, I was only against telling you this because I didn't want to bring her up." he faced the ground hoping she won't see the lies in his eyes.
She nodded and closed her eyes so swollen she could hardly look at them.
The fire lit a little glow around them. It made its way up to the sky. Iuliān couldn't help but stare at the sparks that leap in it. His heart pounding from worry and fear eases ever so slightly. He hoped it did the same thing to Geiyra.
It's a lie that he felt he needed to say. He lied telling her that that was the only thing that happened to her during her stay.
There's more to the story than what he said but it's something that she can't know given the circumstances they are in. There are so many things that needed resolution for now. It can wait.