~*YOU CAN'T DO THAT, DAVE*~
Sure, Hal. And my name isn't Dave.
~*AS YOU WISH, STEVE*~
My name is not Steve, nor Dave, nor Steve-Dave.
~*DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER YOUR NAME?*~
What was that analysis that you did earlier?
~*INCREDIBLE*~
Thank you.
~*THE WALL IS LARGELY MADE OUT OF A TYPE OF CARBON USED IN WRITING INSTRUMENTS*~
Graphite? Like in pencils?
~*THAT WOULD BE A WRITING INSTRUMENT*~
Oh, the sass! Why is this important? Why do I even care?
~*MOST LIFE FORMS ARE CARBON-BASED. WHEN YOU FINALLY ARE READY TO LEAVE, THE EXCESS CARBON WILL BE USEFUL*~
Why will it be useful? And READY?! Really? I've been ready to leave for a long time.
~* YES, READY. YOU NEED MORE CARBON INGESTED. WHEN YOU LEAVE YOU ARE HIGHLY LIKELY TO RESET WITHOUT THE ASSISTANCE OF XIM*~
Reset? Like in a video game? Do I really need to gnaw on the wall before I smash Ctrl + Alt + Delete?
~* THE PRISON YOU HAVE BEEN PLACED IN WILL TAKE A GREAT TOLL ON YOUR BODY AS YOU LEAVE. IT IS NOT YET STRONG ENOUGH TO WITHSTAND A CHANGE OF PERCEPTION IN A DIMENSIONAL SHIFT*~
You need to explain more than that. Just because you are in my head doesn't mean I understand you.
~*THERE ARE MANY DIMENSIONS AND MANY REALITIES. PHYSICS AND COMICS GOT MANY THINGS RIGHT. THE MOST IMPORTANT OF WHAT YOU ARE FACING IS IN PHYSICS. MATH. WHEN YOU DRAW A LINE ON A PAGE, THAT IS THE FIRST DIMENSION. WHEN YOU SQUARE THE LINE, YOU HAVE THE SECOND DIMENSION. WHEN YOU SQUARE THE SQUARE, YOU NOW HAVE THE THIRD DIMENSION FROM WHERE YOU WERE FROM ORIGINALLY. THERE ARE MANY MORE DIMENSIONS BEYOND THAT, BUT THESE THREE ARE THE MOST COMMONLY ACCESSED. WHERE YOU CLING RIGHT NOW... IS THE SECOND DIMENSION.*~
Wait, so I'm stuck inside a flat surface?
~*IF THAT IS HOW IT WILL MAKE SENSE FOR YOU, THEN YES. WHEN SOMEONE IS IN ONE PARTICULAR DIMENSION THEY CAN ONLY PERCEIVE THE CURRENT AND 'LOWER' DIMENSIONS. SO TO A LINE IN THE FIRST DIMENSION, A SQUARE WOULD STILL LOOK LIKE A LINE. TO SOMEONE IN THE SECOND DIMENSION A SQUARED SQUARE WILL ONLY LOOK LIKE A SQUARE. THE PERCEPTION OF THE SQUARED SQUARE IS THE FLAT SURFACE. THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE. THESE AREN'T CLIFFS.*~
How do YOU know all of this?
~*I'M THE SMART ONE.*~
Are you still answering questions? How do I take a swing at you?
~*WHILE YOU CHEW ON THE WALL, THINK OF IT AS A FLOOR INSTEAD OF A WALL. YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO STAND WITHOUT ANY ISSUES AND JUST... SIT... WITHOUT HAVING SOME HAIRY ROPE KINK*~
No kink-shaming allowed around here.
~*JUST PRACTICE PERCEIVING THE WALL AS THE FLOOR. STEP ON IT LIKE IT IS THE FLOOR AND THAT GRAVITY IS HOLDING YOU TO IT.*~
This sounds like you are trying to enlighten me similar to the Nameless Monk in that movie with the kid with the mother from the other movie about pies.
~*YOU CAN'T REMEMBER YOUR OWN NAME AND YET YOU REMEMBER BOTH NAMELESS AND STIFFLER'S MOTHER*~
Priorities.
~*EAT YOUR FLOOR*~
Then how am I going to pester you for more information?
~*BY NOT TALKING. I AM STILL JUST AS MUCH YOU AS I WAS LAST CHAPTER. TRY THINKING IN MY GENERAL DIRECTION*~
~~Like this?~~
~*EXACTLY. READY TO KNOW WHAT IS NEXT?*~
~~Of course, I am! I'm even gnawing on rocks in eager anticipation. And perhaps indigestion~~
~*NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. YOUR BODY IS UNIQUE IF YOU CAN'T TELL ALREADY, JUST BY MY BEING HERE.*~
~~I know! Pretty sexy, right?!*~
~*IF I HAD EYES OF MY OWN TO GOUGE, I WOULD*~
~~You are just jealous I have this body and you are just a passenger~~
~*FORTUNATELY, DURING THE 'RESET' I ALSO RESET. YOU WILL BE ON YOUR OWN UNTIL I EVOLVE BACK TO COGNIZANCE.*~
~~If you are resetting, how rough is it going to be for my side?~~
~*LIKELY BACK INTO THE PRIMORDIAL SOUP. YOU SHOULD RETAIN YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS BUT YOUR BODY ITSELF WILL BE BACK TO SOUP.*~
~~If I don't have a body, how does the consciousness remaining work?~~
~*PLOT ARMOR*~
~~I did it! I can finally sit!~~
~*THAT WAS FASTER THAN I EVEN EXPECTED. THE MAUVE MUST HAVE MADE YOUR ADAPTABILITY, THE VERY CORE OF YOUR UNIQUE CONSTITUTION, FAR MORE POTENT.*~
~~Sure, let's go with that. How do I get out of here now?~~
~*SIMILAR PROCESS. BUT SIDEWAYS. YOU NEED TO PERCEIVE THE THIRD DIMENSION. AS YOUR PERCEPTION SHIFTS, YOU WILL ALSO SHIFT BETWEEN THE TWO, DIMENSIONAL STATES*~
~~This is a really simple prison.~~
~*THE MOST CHALLENGING OF PRISONS IS THE ONE WHERE YOU ARE HANDED A KEY TO A LOCK THAT DOES NOT EXIST. OR DID YOU FORGET YOU HAVE BEEN CLIMBING FOR YEARS? AND YOUR BODY WILL BE SIFTED THROUGH A CHEESECLOTH DUE TO THE STRAIN. IT IS NOT LIKE YOU HAVE ACCESS TO A TESSERACT. AND NO, I AM NOT EXPLAINING THOSE TO YOU.*~
~~Fine, I'm ready to be done with this incessant 'I'm better than you, but I am still you' nonsense~~
Let's get turnt!