I found myself in a very familiar place when I opened my eyes.
What is this? I was supposed to be laying on my bed at home. And...
"What am I doing here again?"
I mutter so to myself as I take a look around my surroundings. Or more like, the lack of surroundings in the first place.
That's right, I somehow found myself back to the white empty space like last time.
"No way...! Did I... die again?"
If so...
What? Why? How? When? How come!?
HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?!!!
I had a little sudden mental breakdown.
Wait. Let's calm down. Calm. Down... Breath...
"Huu..."
Alright, let's analyze the situation. Rationally.
Don't panic just yet me!
Okay.
What did I do before I wake up here? Let's see...
After I treated Myka and Lana to coffee we separated uneventfully. Then I had a look around a few shops and bought a couple of snacks and some toys I thought the kids would like.
I then excitedly went back home just in time for lunch. I recall mom and dad surprised I was back so soon.
Hehe, they must've thought I wouldn't come home at least until after lunch. Mom even briefly interrogated me if I treated the girl, Lana well. And dad also brought up things I 'should've done' like treating the girl to lunch for example.
Did they seriously thought I was out on a date?!
I clearly remember my face heating up because of their antics. And thinking to myself if that was what it actually felt like to have your parents probe your love life.
But it wasn't even a date!
I shook the thought off of my head.
My thoughts are getting side tracked.
Focus!
After I flail around a bit to get my point through that what they're thinking really isn't what it is. I finally succeeded in dissuading their thoughts of my suppose 'date'.
I even briefly remember the kids mimicking me when they thought I was being funny.
I then explained to them what really happened when dad asked what I went out for then.
As I was recalling to them what I did for the day, at first they had the expression of pure happiness reflected in their eyes, which I surmise is because they thought they would never ever have a chance to listen to their precious son talking about his day excitedly like this before. And I am glad I am able to provide them with this small happiness unlike me being unable to do so for my own parents in my previous life.
As I continued on my tale they very visibly froze up when I got to the point of me going to the High Temple for the baptism ritual. And immediately right after, concern and anxiety and maybe even panic can be visibly seen written on both of their faces... Understandable.
But I continued talking feigning ignorance of their concerns, but as I went further and further their expressions only got worse and worse. Pity, hurt, self-blame, I think even self-hate and indignance. I don't like seeing them like this.
But they have no reason to be feeling that way at all.
I decided to skip on a few small insignificant details and just went straight to where we were finally about to use the kiosk.
And when I told them when it got to be my turn, mom hid her pained stricken face behind dad's back when a pain filled stray tear managed to escape her eye lids all the while also slightly covering her ears in what seems to be fear. I couldn't see through what dad is thinking or feeling no more as he hid his expressions when he bowed his head not even able to look at me anymore.
Even the kids started hugging them and asking what's wrong at some point.
But when I told them I found out I got the fire magic affinity, they just gawked at me baffled. Their expressions were golden. And after a good minute when the incomprehension, confusion and surprise finally started to click together in their heads their faces had a complete one eighty.
Mom even practically flew my way for a tight hug while tears gush out of her eyes no longer of pain but in joy. I thought I heard a sob and I don't mean just mom's and when I looked the way it came from, I saw dad literally bawling as he desperately tries to stop the tears with his polo sleave to no avail.
Even I felt my eyes turn moist at this scene.
I can't help but admit it now.
I am loving this family more and more by the day. I can't help but think at some point perhaps I won't be able to live without their love anymore.
Its kind of scary. I am getting scared that this happiness might suddenly be taken away from me like how it had always been.
And by that time perhaps I would finally totally wallow in absolute despair.
The kids excitedly jumped and clutch both of my arms while mom is still hugging me. They energetically bounced up and down saying how their brother is so cool.
I can't move, so I can only joyfully laugh at the situation.
Mom and dad then decided that the day was way too special to spend at home so we all went out together as a family for the first time to celebrate my baptism. We didn't come back until late into the night when we all are so exhausted we all headed straight to bed right after coming home.
"Hmm~ that's right, I went straight to bed after changing into more comfortable clothes."
So what the heck is wrong?
Don't tell me I died in my sleep without me knowing? Did a meteor crush into our house?
I can't have died of exhaustion, right?
THAT CAN'T BE!
Oh come on! You can't be serious right? And I just managed to get magic and all...
Also, right after the happiest day in my life since being reincarnated?
"Urgh!" As I was grumbling like that to myself in this spotless empty space...
*Gggggrrrrrrr!!!*
This whole white space suddenly started shaking as if an earthquake is happening. Just that, it wasn't just the 'earth' shaking but including left, right, up and down. Everywhere started shaking!
"!!!!"
Shoked. I immediately dropped to the 'ground' or more like curl up on the spot I'm in because I'm not really sure if this place even have an identifiable 'ground'.
What's happening?!
"Hello?!!!"
In urgency, I shouted so loudly trying to call out to anyone. Because, isn't this supposed to be heaven or something like that?
The shaking was so intense it can easily be a magnitude seven or more in the Richter scale.
"Mr. An---Gel?! ArE yOu... tHE---ere?!" I continued to shout amidst the shaking of this whole space.
If you are isn't this the best time to come out? I'm feel like I've been put into a blender here!
"...Urk!" I suddenly feel like throwing up because of dizziness. Although I'm supposed to currently not have a body.
HELP ME!
The shaking suddenly stopped just as I shouted like so in my head.
I took a couple of minutes to calm myself down and recover from the extreme dizziness. When I recovered enough to at least stop the spinning of my vision, that's just when I started to try and comprehend the situation.
The sudden shaking stopped completely as if it hadn't happened at all.
Taking a look around if there was finally someone looking for me, I found none.
They couldn't have actually forgotten about me, right?
"Hellooo~!" I shout praying someone would hear me and finally explain to me what is happening.
As I continued to look around, I found something did change in this pure white empty space.
"A dot?"
That's right.
There is now what seems to be a tiny black dot on the previously flawless white space. Like someone took a pen and intentionally draw a single dot there.
Curious. I went to where that dot is. Well, since I can't really feel a 'ground' to walk on, I practically swam to that direction.
What? The last time I was here I didn't really move from the spot I was in and that angel made me flew away so I was able to fly smoothly.
I don't know how he did that, magic maybe? But I can't do that just yet so this is the only way I could get to that dot.
What? I look ugly? Yeah I know! And there's nothing I could do about it so don't judge me!
When I reached the dot, I realized it was more of a tiny sphere and not really looks like a dot at all. It's looks like a tiny crack, like what would appear on a glass pane if you stab it with an ice pick.
It looked so small from afar but upclose it's big enough for me to maybe poke my finger in.
What could this be?...
"...!!!!!"
*bam* *bam* *bam!*
My voice got caught on my throat at the shock.
W-wh-what... What the heck was that?
As I was getting an even closer look at it I think I saw something pass by from within. So after tapping my chest to calm my heavily beating heart a bit, I took a closer look at it once again.
"It's just... black."
Yeah. It was just nothing but black, no more no less.
"Huh? Was I just seeing things?"
As I asked to myself like so it suddenly appeared within my vision.
...SYSTEM UPGRADING...
...
...
...
...COMPLETE...
...DOWNLOADING BETA VERSION...
...
...
...
...COMPLETE...
DO YOU AGREE TO PARTICIPATE AS A BETA TESTER?
YES/NO
"Eh? What? So suddenly?"
What update? What beta test? I don't know about either of these things.
No.
...
...
...???
Hey! I can't click the no option. Is that why it's deemer? I don't even get an option in this? Why bother putting this here then?
"Why do I even have to participate in this beta testing?" As I asked myself like so...
!!!CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION!!!
"Wh--- I-it just answered! It answered me?" I dumbly uttered, shocked.
"H-hello~?" I tried.
... Nothing.
Of course!
"I'm so dumb!" I smack myself on the face in shame.
Still, I really don't want to participate in this beta test or whatever it is.
THE SOLE PURPOSE OF THE SYSTEM IS FOR THE BETA TEST.
FAILURE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE BETA TESTING WILL RESULT IN THE LOST OF THE SYSTEM.
ARE YOU SURE?
YES/NO
"!!!"
This time I'm pretty sure it's actually answering me. But it looks like it has things it can and cannot answer.
"But still... This thing is practically telling me I can't refuse, huh?"
This time the dim one is the 'YES' option.
Well how can I refuse now that you're telling me this?
I then immediately clicked 'YES' on the first pop up question.
HOST'S PERMISSION CONFIRMED.
...INSTALLING FULL BETA SYSTEM VERSION...
...
...
...
...
The system is something gifted to me by the Goddess, I can't lose it like this.
"..."
Wait. Now that I think about it, I didn't hear about any of this from the angel at all.
"Did he forgot?"
Not that it matters now anyways. Since I'm dead again but still have the system, does that mean I'm going to get reincarnated again?
"...!"
Suddenly, a disturbing intrusive thought popped up in my mind.
Then an extremely depressing cloud formed in my heart. It unknowingly made me feel numb inside.
To part with them like this after just briefly feeling their warmth.
"As I thought, the Goddess actually do hate me doesn't she?"
That's right, she must've planned this. To make me believe I can finally have a chance at having a family and living a fulfilling life.
And then, just after my happiest moment she immediately took it away from me.
This is...
"Heartless..." I surprised myself at how cold that came out of my mouth.
I bit my lips hard, trying to conceal the tears from showing.
No, I mustn't.
That will probably what she would want to see the most.
"I. Refuse... Urk!" I bit down harder.
I'm so dumb. I should've noticed it all along.
"If it's going to be like this. I shouldn't have accepted this system at all. I should've refused even if that meant I would lose it earlier. I could have not answer it in the first place. It would've been better."
I muttered to myself deprecatingly to my previous choice.
...
!!!COMPLETE!!!
...SYSTEM RESTARTING TO START IMPLEMENTING THE CHANGES...
...
...
...
!!!WARNING!!!
...EXTREME STRESS WILL BE PUT TO THE HOST MENTALLY WHEN IMPLEMENTATION IS UNDERGOING WHILE CONSCIOUS...
...SHUTTING DOWN HOST'S CONSCIOUSNESS...
I initially glared just glared at the text appearing in my sight but then jumped at the message it says.
"W-wait!"
Was the last thing I was able to say before my mind immediately went completely black.