I got to the hill rather quickly; it was only 10 minutes away from my house (it's the opposite direction of my school).
I sit down on the top of the hill, I think someone used to have a garden here. I looked up to the sky and I couldn't help but smile. I think it looked like I felt helpless. I reach out my left arm with an open hand and I line it up with a star and close my fist. I know that a star wasn't in my hand but it helped me feel the warmth I only get from this.
The sky always looks like a painting and the air blows across my face. I let my mind wander to a girl who paints the sky and I thought of her painting it with me.
The air makes the swings move, bringing me away from the fantasy. I can see them sway behind the trees. I hold my breath and I see no one there, which made me laugh a tiny bit.
I go back to watching the stars and I pick out funny shapes they make like I'm back in first-grade. I let myself think again. My mind blankly went to Luete. I have no honest idea why and then I remember what Tonya said about Ollie. It was gross, but kind of sweet. I couldn't feel that way about anyone ever, nevertheless someone I met almost two weeks ago.
I decided I should sleep on it. I can't think with a tired mind. I walk home thinking about why my thoughts alway go to Luete now. I mean her voice was more sweet than honey and the way her brain works is more fascinating than any English class I've ever had.
I walk into the front door and I can see that everyone is sleeping. I tip-toed as quietly as possible but made a little bit of noise. I go to my room as fast as I can. If I'm not quiet it will be my parents last straw. I got caught once and I learned to not get caught ever again.
I flop on my bed, biting my lip due to the noise it made. I pull myself under my thick blanket even if my room is boiling hot. I play a song that I want to listen to and put my head on the pillow. Closing my eyes before feeling uncomfortable and opening them. I don't want to be awake because my dreams are better than any reality I live in.
I clearly can't dream in my sleep at the moment so my mind goes to dream again. I think about the lovely lady, who looks like a goddess, that paints the sky with me.
With the sky painter in mind I let my tired eyes slowly drift away. I dream about a river and when I wake up to my alarm wishing I could go back to sleep.
I got to school an hour and 15 minutes after I woke up and the first person I saw was Katie. She was at her locker throwing in a couple books so I walked up to her and we started talking. I tell her about Tonya and Ollie's soon-to-be child, Sophie. She looked almost as surprised as my father. Katie met Tonya before when we were in elementary school and she definitely didn't look like someone who would raise a kid.
When Luete saw us she ran over with her signature soft smile. I couldn't help but to smile back; she always made me smile. You think I could fight off a smile when someone with the beauty of a goddess brings it right to me?
We don't have much time to talk though. Class starts soon and my first-hour class is across the school.
I didn't want to do much work that day, but the lessons were interesting I guess. For the first time I spent my classes thinking about these dumb, stupid feelings. I hate it. I mean I like the warm feeling I get but I hate her toothy smile making me show off my dimples and having her stay in my mind almost all the time.
I don't wanna be here, I thought and I also think I mumbled it a little bit to myself.
I desperately wanted today to be over and done with already. I mean lunch is always the best time of the day because I can see all my friends but it's too short. All the classes I have are long and boring, but we are watching a really good movie in english.
I watch the clock go by and I think Jack saw it in science class. When I got to lunch I waited for a little bit before someone got to the table. It was Luete, which I completely didn't mind, I just couldn't think about it... or feel anything about her. I'm too young and I don't have enough time for anything like that. Foolish. All of the emotions out there are foolish and dumb. I can't help the fact it's stupid and I can't help the fact I feel them.
I talk to Luete as we wait for Savanna, Katie and Jack. I happen to lock eyes with her and I never noticed how green they are, they look like a sea of grass. I never even saw her yellow-ish orange flecks of freckles placed all over her almost ivory skin. I smile.