I woke up with a start. Confusedly I tried to look around, but I found I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't even move a single muscle. I was stuck in place as if I were rooted to the ground. My head wouldn't move, no matter how much I tried. There wasn't even a twitch from my fingers.
Not again. Fucking sleep paralysis. Hopefully, there won't be any demons again. At least for now, it seemed that this time it was going to be a quiet one.
One of the worst sleep paralysis I had was when it started with a little girl's voice mumbling something as it approached step by step until it had reached the side of my bed. I remember how it pressed its hand on my chest, pressing down so hard as if it wanted to crush my torso. At that time, I felt like I was suffocating. Not a fun experience, let me tell you.
At least I could breathe properly... Wait!
Why couldn't I breathe? W-what's going on? Come on…! Breathe!
…
W-what the fuck was happening?!
I-if I were able to breathe properly, I would probably hyperventilate about now. No, I would probably just scream right now if I were capable of doing so.
This didn't feel like normal sleep paralysis.
Was I still dreaming...?
I would fall back on one of my reality checks. However, there was nothing I could do. I couldn't see. I couldn't bring a finger to twitch or my eyelids to flutter. The only sensation I had was the one under my feet. I was standing in this featureless darkness as I remained breathless, waiting for change.
…
The unfeeling and unmoving darkness was better than what followed. I unanimously decided.
It...it made it difficult to even think properly with t-this sensation. I could feel it all, how my legs are being elongated and then shrunk again.
It wasn't really pain. It was an uncomfortable itch penetrating my entire legs from the skin to the bone. An itch that couldn't be scratched. Like a million ants crawling underneath my skin. The sensation moved onto my torso and arms to my neck and head in a span of a few hours.
My imagination with this sensation was running wild. In the end, I couldn't help but imagine all kinds of insects crawling over my face and into every hole they could find. The probably worst sensation was when the crawling sensation entered my head as the imaginary insects made a journey to my brain.
I didn't know how long I was standing there unmoving until I could finally see again. Let me tell you I was not prepared.
I had once read that the unknown was the scariest of monsters. Back then I had agreed to it, but now I would rather not have known what played with my body as it saw fit.
Maybe the unknown was scarier, but it didn't make a difference when the monster I could see and the monster I couldn't see were terrifying me to death either way. Both would induce the maximum amount of terror I could possibly feel.
An eldritch abomination scrutinized me with its gigantic eye as it tapped on some hologram with its tentacles. I felt my eyes itching away, but I didn't know what happened as there was no reflection for me to glean anything from, and frankly, I was afraid to know the answer. What was it making out of me? What kind of twisted Frankenstein Monster was it making out of me??
I-I... what wouldn't I give up just to wake up in my bed again? I could only sob in my thoughts. Unheard by the world, as I was not allowed to make a sound.
.....
"Tada." A floating eyeball with swirling tentacles around it said excitedly. "Isn't he a hunk?! Perfect for being the object of her affection! You know, for our little overseer."
"What?! I already told you I already finished making her personality. The gap moe of her being a slut is already perfect. If I made her love someone, she would be too pure!"
"Exactly! I have been thinking-" "No way, you? Thinking? Sensational!"
"Shadup! As I was saying, I have been thinking about your character a lot."
"No shit-"
The eye tentacle monster raised its tone to not be interrupted again. "You aren't creating a gap moe character!"
"What?! Of course, I am!" He protested.
"Nah. You are creating a succubus who is a slut. Which is pretty standard for any succubus, regardless of her appearance, but if-"
"If she was madly in love with someone, going so far to suppress her instinct for immense lust as a succubus for that special someone..." The humanoid with a distorted squid as its head interrupted the flying eyeball before going silent as he thought about it.
"You would create the greatest gap moe character!" The flying eye finished for him as it bobbed up and down in excitement.
"Better yet, if they were already married…" The squid suddenly exclaimed as he perfected the idea in his mind.
"Now you get it! Vanilla for the win-"
"… and your character will be an unfaithful husband that hates her for being forced to marry her!"
"Wha-? Ho-hold on for a minute-"
"Yes, I can see it in front of my eyes. The royal prince of the tomb, to spite his forceful marriage, lives his life indulging in debauchery!"
"Nononono. St-stop! He is an angel! He wouldn't live his life like that!"
"This is even better!! The angel goes against his holy creed by living his life in sin, while his demon succubus-wife is only faithful to him. Perfect! You're a genius. I will just have to change her outfit a bit. Oh, this is going to be great! Didn't know you were into gap moe too!"
"Please, no! That wasn't the background I was thinking about! The love of his life is so pure that it ended up making her turn away from her demonic side. She would then become the kindest succubus to have ever existed- H-hey, don't walk away from me. Give me my vanilla couple! This isn't gap moe, this is just straight degeneracy!"
...
Eh?
I didn't know if I could find comfort in it, but apparently, eldritch abominations spoke Japanese. Who would have known?
The only words I knew out of that conversation were tenchi and succubus. With tenchi meaning heaven or angel, right?
Maybe the angels are coming to my rescue?! Maybe they know these monsters kidnapped a human and were now out to smite them! Hopefully, they find me before these monsters irreversible changed me.
But what about the succubus? Are they trying to tempt the angels with their lust demons?! Angels, I know you can withstand their temptations! I now believe in you! I will even go to church from now on, I promise! Just save me!
My imagination was running wild, as it was the only thing I could use to suppress the terror of the incapacity of having my own agency.
…
So, I waited and waited and waited, but no one came. Even after what felt like days, no one came to my rescue. Slowly, the thought that the angels might have lost crept into my head, and I was beginning to despair anew.
Just as I could get even more depressed, the door suddenly opened to reveal that humanoid squid. It closed the door behind him and appeared to cast a spell at the door with butchered English.
Something about maximizing something. It somehow tickled a faint memory, but all this was quickly suppressed by my fear of that thing near me. This time, it came alone. I wasn't sure if I should like that.
To be honest, if it was in any other situation, I would have lost my shit that I just witnessed to be real magic as well, but the enthusiasm was greatly diminished, as it was used by my captors.
"Hello. I am Tabula Smaragdina, and you are going to be the love of my creation."
Great more butchered English, Tabula Smaragdina? Wait, that is awfully familiar- Iiiiee, please get your tentacles out of my face! I never enjoyed those hentais!
Eh, I mean I didn't enjoy hentai at all, ever!
Oh no, he is opening a hologram again. What was it changing now? I hope it was my hair. At least I wouldn't feel that.
Maybe something else? He was typing away on the hologram, which made me wonder, was that hologram magic or scientific based…? Goddamn, were you writing a goddamn novel?! He didn't seem to stop writing. It was like he was possessed.
Well, at least he wasn't touching me… That sounded wrong.
…
Man, he took his fucking time. I thought I was going insane while this stupid squid was typing away like he was in a movie, hacking into the mainframe of a server.
"And done! Now we will have to get you two married, and you can have your hateful, happy life! I am going to love how the others will tease him about it!" He then threw something at me which seemed to fuse with me.
Love? He said love, right? Sorry, not into squids! Or did it mean that it would love seeing me suffer? I should have taken that Japanese class they had offered in high school!
Before I could continue that thought, I heard the knocking at the door as the familiar voice of that eyeball screamed from the other side.
The squid vanished suddenly before the door glowed red. The door suddenly vanished before the flying eyeball flew inside.
It turned its body/eye around but couldn't find anything. It looked at me from all sides before opening the hologram these monsters seemed to love using.
"… Goddamnit Tabula! I can't believe he used that item to lock me out of his settings! Now I have to wait!"
The eye sighed before yelling some more and then left the room with a stomp. I think? It didn't really have legs, but I imagined it running out in a stomp. It seemed fitting.
…
Though, maybe it would be more appropriate for it to have its tentacles thrashing about, right? Oh, the two tentacle monsters were back… Wait, are they making me a tentacle monster, too?!
That would be…, well, depends on if my tentacles are going to feel like my dic- wait, no. Tentacles are usually the first thing the swordsman of the enemy party would slash off!
Either way! How about a mirror, you two ugly assholes?!
"Eh? Why do I feel like he thought something mean about us?"
Oh no, did the squid just answer me? I would have flinched, but fortunately, I wasn't able to move. It wouldn't be surprising if these monst- these beautiful creatures can read minds, right?
"He? Aren't you roleplaying too much?" The eye answered very handsomely with grace, I sincerely thought. No, I did think that a floating eye that somehow talks is very handsome, yes yes. Oh, is that a door? Interesting.
Eh? Wasn't that destroyed just a day ago, when was it repaired? Oh, they were still speaking.
'If you are talking to me, I don't speak Japanese!!'
Aaaand I am moving. How am I moving? Oh, there was a mirror in this room. Goddamn...
I am not gay, but that's one devilish good-looking mofo, especially with that halo hovering over his... over my head? What the fuck?
Oh, okay, it seemed like the squid didn't like the halo as it pointed at it and made it disappear.
My body suddenly spread its wings out that I didn't know I had... Wow, I really had that divine aura about me if it weren't for me standing here with nothing but my trousers, posing for two tentacle monsters.
I think I didn't like where this was going. A paralyzed angel trapped with two tentacle monsters. Wait.
Oh. Ohhhh. I was the angel! I was an angel? ... Didn't that mean I was dead?
Did they steal me out of heaven? Wait, no way in hell would I go to heaven. Well, I didn't know the requirements to enter, but I wasn't really special or even good. There were probably a trillion aliens cooler than me.
That I didn't even remember being in heaven was, for me, the clue that I wasn't truly an angel. Were they making me a spy? Oh, the two were leaving again.
…
Too bad I wasn't reincarnated, would probably have been better than being the plaything for those two. At least I could walk around this room now and from what I could see, I had to say this room was royal. Goddamn sheets looked more expensive than my entire apartment, but everything was also weird looking. Like I didn't have my glasses on or like this world had a lower resolution than it should have...
And the eye was back again. That was fast, only a day this time. I was barely able to enjoy my newfound freedom of movement.
"Here you go. Can't have you walk around in your underwear the entire time."
A silver armor with gold linings decorating the armor giving it a holy and pure feeling to it. When I stood in front of the mirror with my mighty armor, I felt empowered. Strength was coursing through my body.
It was intoxicating, to say the least, and it would have felt even better if I could use it, though it kind of felt off. Fake somehow. Not that I had experience with divine power coursing through my body. Still, it was like I was only imagining the power of the armor.
The eye left again, not saying anything. What was the purpose of me being here? Am I going to pretend that I live here in this room like a goddamn NPC?!
Maybe, maybe they would send me out to a war that they were waging with heaven? That was why they clad me in divine armor, right?
What kind of powers did these two monsters possess to create an angel out of a human that wouldn't be detected by actual angels?
The eye came in a couple of times more and gave me a lot of things like potions that disappeared inside a void that I somehow had access to if I focused on it. They also gave me a weapon, a holy-looking sword before it too disappeared inside the void.
It seemed like they were really confident in their puppetry.
The eye sometimes took my armor or sword and shoved some crystals inside it before typing away on his hologram. I would have loved to learn Japanese to understand what he was saying to me, but there was only so much my anime knowledge could help without context.
There wasn't much I could really do besides going through the few motions these monsters have allowed me to go through.
No doubt a precaution in order to control the range of actions I could perform by giving me a defining set. They would probably reprogram me if they ever saw me move outside the given boundaries. So, if I found a way to move independently, I would have to keep it a secret!
There were already some things I had figured out, for example my path could be influenced by these eldritch if they stood in the way. It seemed like they didn't want me to run into them.
One day, he entered before taking me outside of my room. It had been months already, and this was the first time I was exiting this place.
As we turned the corner of the most royal and expensive-looking hallway I had ever seen, we encountered what appeared to be a maid. Golden hair shimmering under the light of the hallway, her golden eyes giving off a kind feeling which was underlined by the slight smile on her face.
Admittedly, I was enchanted by her because, wow. It was like looking at a 3D anime character incarnated without it looking uncanny. Goddamn perfect looks. 10/10 would spread 'em cheeks on god.
I was standing in front of her, not moving until the Eye seemed to have realized that I stopped.
"First time I move him, and he is stuck! Just my luck. *Cough* I mean, why are you flirting with that maid? We need to hurry and introduce you to the others! Come now and you, [Step aside]. Good thing there are commands to get NPCs out of the way. No more blocking in tight corridors…"
The eye called out in butchered English, making the maid move to the side, giving me room to pass her. Well, I could have walked around her, but where was the fun in that?!
Oh goddamnit, I couldn't even turn around and check her other assets out! What was the use of eyes if I couldn't look?!
We walked for a while and came across another maid that appeared to be the sister of the previous maid and was equally beautiful. At least they had enough eye candy running around this palace.
I was not sure why these monsters would need maids? Couldn't they have magic take care of the cleanliness of this place? Well, they were tentacle monsters. I am sure the beauties weren't only for cleaning…
We walked for a while until we arrived at a giant imposing gate with an angel and a demon depicted on the two doors. I chose to ignore the detailed statures stationed in the hall in front of the door. Not because they looked like they would jump me and terrified me, but because of reasons.
The gate slowly opened, probably to enhance the dramatic effect of the admittedly impressive gate. As we stepped inside, I couldn't help but shudder as I looked at the numerous monsters that had gathered around and talked with each other.
Strangely, there were some humans gathered here as well that clearly stood out from the rest, which almost gave me a heart attack for two reasons.
First, they were standing still unbothered by the surrounding monsters, second; they were goddamn beauties…
Oh. Oh…! Holy shit!
I finally knew who they were! These are the homunculus and those were the Pleiades, Sebas…!
Goddamn! I was not an angel. Well, I was, but I was foremost a fucking honest-to-god NPC! What the actual fuck! I wanted to hyperventilate, but I couldn't!
My creator walked me to the other members of the guild. There were many players gathered around, which meant that it was still early in the game. I should probably call them Supreme Beings in my head from now on.
Didn't want to slip when we arrived in the New World, couldn't have the other NPCs getting angry with me because of my 'disrespect'. The New World…
Fuck me sideways, I was going to become an actual angel! Might as well be a god in the New World! Oh, I liked this. Maybe it wasn't that bad to be the plaything to these mon- Supreme Beings after all!
There he was!
The man, the myth, the legend, Momonga-sama!
Shit. Fuck my life. Seeing him made me realize something. Nonononono, that couldn't happen. He would change my waifu's settings into loving him! Please Momonga, have mercy on my soul, and don't take away my waifu!
It was alright when you two didn't exist, but now that she was real, it would break my heart! I-I had to find a way to talk to them or change the settings myself!
Maybe, if all hope's lost, then I would have to seduce her in the New World somehow…
Ah, shit. Not in a million years would I be able to subvert her programming, but maybe I could spend some quality time with her. Reasons like Momonga would appreciate an experienced woman or something.
Though I was pretty sure she would be dead set on giving Momonga her virginity. Even if she conceded, it would probably break my poor little heart. She would probably ramble on how much she regretted her decision afterward. Maybe even kill me for it.
Sigh.
I felt like crying! Could you blame me? There were A-tier waifus surrounding me and they would only have eyes for a skeleton who couldn't even do the deed!
I could only hope that one of them was programmed to like me. If my settings are like that penguin, then I was doomed, especially since I seemed to be stronger than that cleaner! I would be a genuine threat to Nazarick. Although due to my time in solitude, my thoughts were jumping from one topic to another, I was still trying to focus when the Supreme Beings spoke.
"Oh, there he is, Hermorah's new creation!" Though even when focusing on their conversation. How was I going to figure out anything if I couldn't understand them?! Weren't there any English translations to turn on!?
[English Translation On]
Eh?
"What is he called Hermorah?"
I-I could understand them! Was this my cheat power? Did I have a system? System on! Game on! Status- oh, something popped up. Nice a level 100 NPC. Inventory! Items, nice.
Looks like I had a basic system, but was it the game's system or my own system?
The inventory didn't show me anything I hadn't known was inside. I was not about to test whether I could take them out, but I guessed that was the case.
Probably shouldn't pull anything out of my inventory when surrounded by a bunch of Players. Maybe that wouldn't be that bad if they decided to lean into my quirkiness. On the other hand, they could just scrap me for malfunctioning, calling a GM to report a bug before I got reset, and then put me back into the game.
Who knew if I could keep my consciousness and memories then?
"… and that's about it with his jobs." My creator finished explaining. Stupid me spacing out! Well, I could look it up again on my status screen later.
"A bit weird to have a literal angel in a tomb of monsters." Someone interjected.
"Victim is also an angel!" My creator defended. You go my simp!
"He is a fetus, but yours is a grown-ass ikemen. What is his backstory anyway? It has to fit otherwise make him a fallen angel or something-"
"Nope, that won't do at all! He is an important part of my creation's background!" A voice sounded out, coming from someone who had just teleported into the throne room.
There she was, my waifu! Then that ugly squid had to be Smaragdina. It's been a while since I read the novel and looked at the side characters that were the Supreme Beings, but now after realizing that I was in Nazarick, he did resemble the drawing of him.
"Smaragdina!" "Oh! Is that Albedo?" "She has a new outfit!"
"Hahaha. Yes, before Hermorah tells you about his NPC, I will have to inform you first about mine! The ultimate Gap Moe!"
"Here we go again." "Didn't he say this exact same thing the last time?" "No, it was the Greatest Gap Moe, even if it was a bit lackluster."
Honestly, I didn't know the majority that were present, but to be fair, most members of Ainz Ooal Gown weren't really introduced in the series.
"Albedo. The older sister of Nigredo…"
"Just her name gives me the jitters." "Yeah, I just had a flashback."
"… and the younger sister of Rubedo, who I am still working on. She is a demoness who holds the title of Guardian Overseer-"
"Please, just inform us about the changes you made. Besides, we know her background settings already." Someone cut him off, which pissed me off a bit. I knew how she was in the anime and in the novel, but it would have been nice to refreshen my mind about her settings.
I knew the wiki had it written down, but I had only read it once or twice! I know. How could I call her my waifu if I didn't even know her settings by the word?? But I was too busy in… studying other research about her.
"*Cough* I made a lot of changes, but basically, she isn't a slut anymore and fell in love with someone to who she devoted her life. Driven by her love, she begged her creator, me, to let her spend more time with her target of love. Too eager to fulfill her desire, her creator, I again had decided to grant her wish and arrange a marriage between her and the holy angel of Nazarick!"
"I already told you that won't happen!" Hermorah stupidly interjected. What are you doing you dumb eye!? Let it happen! This was a sacrifice I was willing to make!
"Too late, buddy. Besides, it is my creation, I could change it however I liked. Oh, and your character's backstory will be changed too. The others have already agreed to it."
It seemed like the other supreme beings knew that would happen. I kiss your hearts, you beautiful Players. I knew gamers were the most generous.
"You can't do that! We said that everyone has the liberty to create their own NPC! You can't take him away from me!"
"Hehe." "That's what you get from stealing my scrolls!" "And my orbs of cursed knowledge." "I want my pathfinder back, Hermorah!"
"Alright, I will give everything back and even repay you for your outside camps I blew up!"
"No can do! It was already decided, your NPC is now my- I mean the property of the entire guild." Tabula Smaragdina said smugly, and the others agreed with him, even though some muttered something about Tabula hoarding all the NPC levels.
The eye slumped to the ground in defeat.
"Now, now. We agreed that today will be the only instance that we change some aspects of his background that you aren't allowed to change afterward. We will be checking. And Hermorah, please give us our stuff back." Momonga calmed the others down with his words.
"Ah. Come on! Could have let us tease him some more!" The others didn't disagree with what Momonga said. They had obviously talked about this already.
"Okay, let's get these two married before everyone pulls out their data crystal so we could increase the possible input for his background setting!" Tabula urged them on, and they quickly formed two lines towards the throne room in front of which Momonga stood with the staff of Ainz Ooal Gown that didn't seem to be finished just yet.
Hermorah begrudgingly stood next to me in front of Momonga as my best man, while I looked at the skeleton. A slight commotion arose a moment later.
"Oh, that's her new outfit?!" "Oooh, me likey!" "Woof woof!"
There were some shouts and howls that made me realize these Supreme Beings were goofy af, though I couldn't disagree with their words. I was able to turn around and saw Albedo in a darker dress that almost looked like lingerie, just with more class walking down the aisle with Tabula.
Kind of fast to get married already, but I didn't mind being married to that absolute bombshell of a woman.
Might have to be careful of her outlook on humans outside of Nazarick. Didn't want to befriend someone only for Albedo to kill them out of jealousy or something. At least she was better than Narberal and could pretend to be a person with morals.
Albedo then stood next to me as Momonga held his speech that he had obviously written down before. After Momonga declared us husband and wife, we turned to each other and just looked at each other with no one moving in for the kiss, since you know kissing equals r18.
"Aww. Wasn't that nice? At least, they got mar- " "Alright, let's change his settings." Hermorah couldn't even finish his sentence. Hello, we had a moment here!
The other supreme beings approached me and Albedo. They huddled together to look over Tabula's shoulder to give their input one after the other into my settings and into the settings of Albedo, and after everything was done and finished, I wasn't sure if I should be content or depressed.