My name is Kurosaki Arata. Just call me Arata. I'm thirty two years old. I have my own company. I'm rich but I'm an ex-convict. I did a crime.
I always come to the convenience store. I like to sit here for hours. To watch the house that I am interested in.
There was a boy I met almost a year ago. right here in this convenience store. He was a handsome boy and very friendly. It seemed he was not Japanese. He looked like a mixed blood. His eyelashes were very long. And his eyes were very beautiful with a light brown colored. Matches his golden brown hair. He was always wearing sweater and blue jean. He was tall and slim and had a narrow waist. He was about 6 feet 0.835 inches. But still shorter than me. I was about 6 feet 3.591 inches.
He was always looking at me, giving his gorgeous smile and trying to greet me. But I never returned the greeting. I remained silent. I really didn't have any confidence. I was too afraid to meet other people. Moreover, to be friends with them. What if they found my crime record? And left me alone? How could I face my life when people stay away from me and make fun of me?
I don't want people to look down on me. I don't want people to think I'm evil. But they didn't know what happened to my life. Why was I in prison? They don't have to know about it. Ah. It's complicated. I don't want people to treat me bad but I don't want they to know about what happened to me.
I want people to accept me as I am. I am alone. I have no one in my life. I have lost my father and I must find my mother. My father gave me a message before he died that I must find my mother.
Earlier, I didn't know where my mother was. I went looking for her everywhere. My father said that my mother lives in Sapporo, I don't know where my father got that information but he didn't know my mother's address. I suspected all his life, my father kept looking for my mother's whereabouts. I'm sure about it one hundred percent.
As soon as I got out of prison, I immediately looked for information about my mother. The civil registry office said that my mother had remarried and was still living in Sapporo. Due to confidential information they didn't give me her address. So I searched for my mother's whereabouts all over the city. I searched every corner of the city. I wish I could find her. And may my mother still love me. His only child. I still love my mother and I really need her.
Even though I've become a grown man, that can't change how I feel about her. I lost my mother many years ago. I have lost her love all this time. That's exactly why I need her more. I still need a mother's love, that's absolute, moreover my father is gone.
We used to live in Nagoya. My father and mother divorced when I was ten years old. My father took me with him to Tokyo. They divorced because my grandparents didn't like my mother.
The reason was my mom is not a good girl either. And my mother came from a poor family. My grandparents threatened my father. My father must divorce my mother, otherwise they will remove him from the list of heirs. Then my mother forced my father to divorce. My father was very angry at that time. He didn't want to leave my mother. He loved her so much. And also my mother but she was forced by the situation at that time. Perhaps it was complicated but I do understand now.
"Take Arata with you. I believe you can take care of him and raise him well. He will grow up to be a man like you. You are a good husband. I believe that. Arata will not grow well with me. Take him and never come back here. Get married again. Find a good woman who can love Arata like her own child," my mother said.
I still remember my mother was crying when we left the house. Leaving my mother all alone there in Nagoya. My father didn't want to look back at that moment, he kept walking while holding me away. I knew he hurt so much but he didn't have a choice.
But my father never remarried. He remained single all his life and raised me with great love. I know my father loved my mother very much. He proved it to me. He's better off alone than remarrying, My father said when I asked him why he didn't want to remarry.
Now I found my mother's house. I saw her got out of the car with a man. Maybe he was my mother's husband. He looked like a good man. Because I could see my mother smile and laugh at him. And the man's arms around her shoulder. I was very happy at that time to see that my mother was happy. She must have had a happy life with him. I believe that. At that time, I really wanted to call her and hug her but I'm not ready yet. I'm afraid that she will accept me or not. We didn't see each other for years. And I want to be sure it will be good for my mother if I appear in front of her. Because she already has a new family now. I didn't want my existence to be a problem for her.
About the boy, I wonder why he lives in that house. He always came and went back to the house. He seems like he stays there with my mother but I don't know what the relationship is with my mother. Is he her step son? Maybe. If it's true then the boy is my step brother.
I want to collect all the information about them. I have given an order to my employee to find the information. They still didn't get the information about the boy. They only have the information about the man who lives with my mother.
The man is Akana Akihiro. He is the owner of the famous beer company in Sapporo. He married my mother years ago. And they have a happy life. Now I have to wait for information about the boy. Why does he live with my mother? I hope my employee will get the information soon. If he's my mother's step son, then I will be happy to have a step brother. I will not be alone anymore. I always wanted to have a brother or sister even if they do not have blood related to me. I will be happy. I will accept them and get along with them. I wish.
And now, here I am sitting alone again. In front of the convenience store. On a cold day in Sapporo. Accompanied by a box of cookies and a cup of hot black coffee. I kept looking at the traditional Japanese-style house across from the convenience store. My mother's house. And the boy's house.
But I'm thinking now, what if the boy is really my step brother? I had been rude to him. I never replied to his greeting. Do I have to greet him back when we meet again? Do I have to be friends with him first? So, then it will be easier to get information about my mother and her new family and also about the boy. I'm attracted to him. I don't know why. I have never been attracted to someone before, moreover a boy. Deep down I want to know him. I admit it but I'm too cowardly to get to know him.
Actually I'm not a coward. Before I commited a crime and got in prison, I was easy to get along with. I had a lot of friends in Tokyo but soon after I got in prison they left me.
I think they are not friends indeed. For me, being friends will not be based on material need or money. A friendship must be based on feelings, good faith and genuine relationships on both sides. Without having to be littered with money frills or are you a rich person or not. Your friends must accept who you are. And never judge you.
I'm rich. I'm the heir of a telecommunications company in Tokyo. I own the company now after my grandparents and my father died. I'm rich but I'm lonely. It's not good to be rich but you don't have friends. I mean a true friend. If you have friends and they only look for you when they need you, and leave you when you need them, they are not friends. Nope! I don't need people like that. I need a person who accepts me for who I am.
So now I don't have any friends. I'm alone and only surrounded by employees. I live alone in Tokyo. And I don't have any desire to have a relationship with others now because I don't have confidence anymore. I'm too afraid to start a relationship with others. I bet they will leave me after they know my crime. Better to be alone and lonely than hurt by being left.
Then what should I do if I meet the boy?