Alex woke up abruptly, again. He had another night filled with nightmares but he couldn't quite remember them in the morning. He woke up feeling anxious again, sweating and shaking, sitting up in bed in panic. It took him a good couple of moments to recognise that he was safe and in his own apartment. As always, he followed his strict morning routine consisting of strong coffee, exercise, a crappy protein bar, and work.
This morning he deviated from his strict routine most surprisingly. As he exited the elevator, he hesitated. He turned left this morning, taking a slightly longer way round to his office, passing by the staff kitchen, storage room, and lastly through the large shared office. He wouldn't admit it, of course, but his mind wandered back to the girl with black curls several times this morning already. It was a stretch to expect anyone else in the office at that time, especially that girl who he wasn't sure belonged to his department at all. Ben did mention a new addition to the team but she seemed too young to be the one. Alex suspected that she was someone from another department that needed some help from the 'Specials' as it often was. Part of him wondered if the feeling of anxiousness and familiarity will return if she was around or whether it was a one-off occurrence. He wondered if it were person-specific feelings or whether he should be concerned about his health, mental or physical.
The shared office was empty, as expected at that time. The five desks had piles of crap on them, with the sixth desk soon turning the same with the new person joining. A messy desk seemed to be synonymous with their department.
Alex soon sat down at his desk, in his rather unimpressive office. He found himself doing more paperwork recently than any field work. Maybe for the better, after all, he was getting older. As he thought that, he wondered why he felt as old as he did at the mere age of 25.
Maybe because of the accident… he went through many surgeries, treatments, and physiotherapy. They all must've taken a toll on his body. Some days he was perfectly fine, but on others, it felt as if his body was crumbling underneath him. He didn't tell anyone. He couldn't. High fitness levels were a key requirement for him to be able to perform his job. He was too afraid that as soon as he says that he is struggling he will end up unemployed. He couldn't afford that. Not from the perspective of finances though. He was paid well enough and had plenty of savings. It was rather the fact that this job became his life. He had nothing besides it.
Well, he had Linda. Just barely though. Sometimes he wondered if he was with her because he genuinely liked her, or whether he liked the glimpse of normality that she brought. He shook his head quickly, trying to knock that train of thought out of his mind, quickly getting on with his work.
It was Friday evening, and Alex was looking for Grace in hope that she could send him the CCTV monitoring before she goes home.
"Is anyone up for a drink?" Ben asked in between the desks with few people responding positively. "Alex?" He directed his question to him. Alex looked up in surprise, caught off guard by the sudden question. It has been a while since they invited him anywhere. He always said no.
"No, I have a date." Alex was quick to reject the invitation, remembering yet another date with Linda.
"Rosa?" Ben spoke to someone behind him. Alex didn't have to turn around, knowing full well who entered the room. His insides twisted in agony as soon as he recognised the presence. He slowly looked sideways at the person behind him.
Ben's invitation also caught her off guard she widened her already big eyes.
"Thanks for the invite, Ben, but I'm going to be alright for tonight." Rosa rejected the invitation, and accidentally met Alexander's gaze who stopped and watched her. She quickly looked away and walked towards the desk beside Ben's. A truly unfortunate placement, according to Alex.
"Don't be a bore! Join us!" Ben urged her. She looked back at him and shook her head. Her curls bounced vigorously. Alex still stared at her unknowingly. His breathing became difficult as if his chest was compressed, and as if something was stuck in his throat. Alex realised that it wasn't how she looked. It was something in the way she looked at him. It was the subtlest microexpressions that didn't sit well with him.
"I need to finish this off tonight. Sorry guys." She waved them goodbye with a smile as they were already ready to leave. She spotted Alex standing by Grace's desk, still looking at her. He didn't have any business left with Grace who already handed him the information he needed and left with the others. He didn't want to admit it, but he was curious about the new girl. He snapped back quickly as her eyes landed on him and he hurriedly made his way back to his office.
He now knew her name - Rosa.
When Alexander was leaving late in the evening, he spotted a faint light in the open space. He walked across to peek inside, and he found Rosa's curls moving just above the computer screen. He contemplated checking on her, but he concluded that it was none of his business.
Tonight he had another date with Linda. He thought he would be more ecstatic about it, but he found himself more and more tempted to cancel it. He was tired. Not only physically, but emotionally. He just wanted to go home, lay down and mindlessly watch tv until, at last, he would fall asleep.
He got dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and jeans and walked through the office.
"Nice shirt." Rosa appeared in the corridor. She said it as sarcastically as she could, with a huge grin on her face. Her remark was met with Alexander's scowl. "Didn't think that would be your style."
"It isn't," Alex replied grumpily.
"Ahhh..." she nodded knowingly "you must've upset your stylist then." She remarked walking away.
Alex shook his head and left the building. He was going to see a movie with Linda. He was rather pleased with her deciding on that, he couldn't be bothered with any conversation today, and a movie was a good excuse to be silent.
And there she was, already waiting for him in the cinema. She welcomed him with a peck on the cheek. He was quick to buy two tickets and some snacks.
He tried his best to concentrate on the movie but he couldn't. His thoughts, once again, kept going back to case #713.
They were different at this time. He started to think if Cassandra, a girl from the case, ever went to see a movie in a cinema. Did she ever have a glimpse of normal life before she did all of the horrible things? Did she ever go on a date? Did she ever have popcorn?
Something about his thoughts made him question his sanity. Cassandra was a serial killer. But here he was, on his own date, wondering if Cassandra ever had a chance to experience normal life before she decided it wasn't worth it.
He snapped out of his thoughts as Linda squeezed his hand. She picked a rather gruesome movie to watch and she was now watching it with her eyes wide open and fear written over her face.
Alex found it interesting that normal people sought out the experiences like this, where they can see gory movies as a form of entertainment. He has seen enough in his career to not be bothered about the sight of blood on screen, or severed limbs, or even organs falling out of the butchered bodies.
He was more or less numb to anything involving defragmented human body parts.
Two hours later Linda pecked him on his cheek and left him standing in front of the cinema as she once again left in the cab.
That night he returned home feeling a relief as he stepped into his empty apartment. He was quick to fall asleep on a sofa.