~Epilogue
Today is the big day. The day I am officially twenty-one.
Looking back, there were many times in my life when I didn't think I would make it this far. In fact, I'd always wished for it. A life of feeling like I didn't belong, a life void of love or happiness? I never looked forward to it.
But by the grace of Mother Selene, here I am today. And my oh my! I have to say that I feel like I can finally conquer the world.
I stare at my reflection in the mirror, and for once I am happy with what I see. I am proud of myself, and how far I've come, and I am especially grateful for the change its made to my appearance.
I don't look sick anymore. The sheath dress that Amelia made for me years ago sits perfectly against my curves, my bosom filling the top half of the dress and my fuller hips spreading the fabric where it's meant to unfurl.
It's perfect.
As splendid as I feel, I'm still slightly nervous. Okay, more than slightly. But that's only because, for the first time in almost three years, I'm meeting Jacob again.
It's only from the abundance of his letters that I was able to get by without missing him to the point of actual heart break. I admit, the deal to stay apart has probably been one of my worst decisions, but it doesn't top the list as much as the other mistakes I've made in the past. I'm surprised I've made it through these years without falling to pieces.
Despite the agony of it all, I'm glad that I've made progress. I no longer have those intrusive thoughts, or the need to feel pain only to get by. Now, I am the provider of pain - not to myself, but to those who ask for it.
Becoming the Luna of the Moon Valley Tribe was monumental to my healing. Not just physically, but mentally too. The physical aspect was covered by my extensive training, but the mental aspect was from being surrounded by people who love me, who respect me, and who accept me for who I am.
I slip on the finishing touch to my attire - the ring Jacob gave me as a testament to his love for me, and as a promise that one day we'd finally be together. And today we'd be reunited.
I follow the aroma of freshly cooked food to the kitchen where Amelia leans over the pot Ralph is stirring, taking a spoon to taste. I find it amusing how, after more than a year being married, these two are inseparable. And I can't help but wonder if it's really Amelia who cannot keep her hands off the food, or if it's my nephew that's hungry.
"Hey!" I join them by the stove, and lean down to Amelia's ripe belly, "how's my favorite person in the world doing?"
"That's not fair!" Ralph protests with a pout, "he can't be your favorite when he's not even born yet!"
"Well, he will be, I just know it," I say with conviction.
"Alpha Ralph," we all turn to the voice of Emmet, who hangs shyly by the door, "the members of the Blood Moon Pack are here seeking entry."
My heart does a weird little leap when I hear this, but I try to maintain my composure, even though what I really want to do is spring into the air with glee.
"Ana, will you get dad?"
Nodding too quickly, way too eagerly, I set off towards dad's office, almost losing my footing on the carpet in the process. He looks up from what he's been occupied with on his desk, and it's as if he already knows what I'm here for just by looking at my face.
"Blood Moon is here?"
"Yes, dad."
"Tell Emmet we'll welcome them ourselves," he says as he stands up from behind his desk, lifting out an arm as he walks to me, then draws me into his fatherly warmth.
"Are you nervous?" he asks as he leads me towards the main door.
"Nervous?" I feign nonchalance and shrug, "why would I be nervous, dad? I think too much time has passed."
Dad chuckles when he opens the door to lead us outside, and almost as soon as we step out, I understand why he finds it amusing.
I can't seem to stop my body from shuddering as I make out the three figures standing atop the hill. But there's only one who catches all my attention. And he's standing there with one hand behind his back, a smile spreading across his lips so fast that I feel myself annihilated by the charm he radiates.
I begin running. Running so fast, the sound of my own steps seems to fade in the blur. But everything isn't blurry - it's only his face that I can see.
Like the only light in a dark tunnel, I dash across the meadow just as he runs down the hill, and I just about leap into his open arms. Ah, my zenith, and what feels like my very reason to breathe.
We don't waste any time with pleasantries, the only pleasant thing we both need is our lips fighting for dominance as I cling to him. The sound of the wind breezing through our hair gets lost to the sound of passionate squelching, and for a moment I forget that we're in the company of others.
But I don't care right now. All I want is to remain in his arms for the rest of the day.
For the rest of my life.
~
The birthday party my family threw for me is an intimate affair. We had already celebrated with the pack members last night with a midnight hunt.
I'm actually glad that it's just us. I just can't seem to stop blushing every time Jacob looks my way. In fact, I haven't even said much, and every time someone asked me a question or tried to include me in a conversation, I didn't catch it until it was too late and they'd moved on. Jacob too seemed lost in thought, but by the way he looked at me all evening, I know exactly what's on his mind.
I help Ralph clear the table while dad takes Jacob away to his office, to supposedly talk to him about pack matters that concerned the Blood Moon Pack. I'm not entirely convinced, but I scrub the clean plates with a drying cloth as if there's some competition for the sparkliest dishes.
I'm packing away the cutlery when dad calls me from down the hallway. Taking a deep breath, I straighten my spine and make my way to him.
I find Jacob waiting for me on the other side, taking my hand as we both face my father. He smiles as he sees the two of us, and clears his throat.
"Jacob has asked if it's okay for you to stay at his place for the weekend."
Only the weekend? I think to myself, shooting Jacob a questioning look then looking back at my father.
"I told him it's fine, but that I want you back here on Sunday evening."
"Uhm," I shrug, "I guess."
I'm trying my best to hide my disappointment. Here I was, thinking that there would be more than just a weekend. Regardless, I remove my hand from under Jacob's and reach the staircase on steps that are quicker than I would have liked.
I can hear Jacob following me, and expecting him to say something to explain just what the hell is going on, I steal a glance over my shoulder only to see him looking down. He still hasn't let me open the blue velvet box he gave me outside, and I wonder if it's just a prize to spend a measly weekend with him.
He remains quiet while I pack a small carrier bag with clothes for the weekend. Why is it only a weekend, when he promised me a lifetime of happiness? But I don't question it, because I guess I should just take what I can get, right?
Wrong. My heart feels like it's breaking into a million little pieces all over again. Surely I can't be so desperate as to agree to this nonsense! Then why am I following him out of the door after we've said our goodbyes, with Derek and Cynthia staying back when my brother offers to drive them home later?
I'm stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid for going along and sitting there patiently and quietly waiting for an explanation. He doesn't offer one, and I don't know why. It's just the bond that was formed years ago when we made love that has me believing that this is enough.
It's my heart and brain fighting to the death, with my heart claiming victory as we drive along the coast. Something is up, that much I do know, when Jacob steers us down the road leading to the sea.
The cat released his tongue at last, and as he pulls into a parking space, he cuts the engine and turns to face me. "Care to take a walk before night falls?"
"A walk?" Even though I feel it, my voice isn't as dispirited as I'd liked. I just can't seem to - to let him know how I'm actually feeling. "Okay."
He jumps out and rounds the hood, then opens my door and offers me a hand. I take it willingly, because what else am I supposed to do when I've waited this long to be with him?
Hand in hand, we make our to the pier. The air is cooler, salty, but pleasant still. The waves crash against the rocks, sending tiny droplets of water to land on our exposed skin. I stifle a shiver, and lean against the rails.
"You can open your gift now," Jacob tells me, leaning over the rails himself.
I frown as I reach into my jacket's pocket, and I'm about to open the lid of the box when Jacob's fingers wrap around my wrist to stop me.
"Wait, this won't do," he says as he takes the box from my hand and proceeds to kneel down on one knee.
"Anastasia Hemming," he looks up into my eyes, and I can already feel the tears starting to form, "Will you marry me and become my Luna?"
Jacob opens up the box to reveal a thin white gold band glistening with diamonds all around it.
Yes! I scream internally, unable to form the word on my lips. Yes!
I only manage a nod, the sob of pure happiness lodged in my throat and I might burst out crying if I have to speak. His face lights up with the brightest smile as he takes the ring out and slips it onto my finger where it joins the ring he'd given me before. He gets up and instantly wraps me up in his arms, lifting me off my feet as his lips find mine and I melt into him.
This is why he'd been tight-lipped all evening. He was nervous. He was so damn nervous and it makes me giggle against his lips.
"What's so funny?" he asks breathlessly, our foreheads connecting as he puts me back down on my feet.
"I wasn't expecting this."
"How could you not?" his eyes turn darker, "you know I love you, it's only natural that you'll become my Luna and we'll get married."
"You asked my father for a weekend only."
"No, Ana," he drops a kiss on my lips, "I asked him for a lifetime, but this weekend is only to make up for lost time."
"So why should I go back?"
"Because your father wants us to get married in Simi Valley."
Oh.
Oh!
I feel my cheeks heat up as Jacob's hands come around my waist, his fingers toying with the fabric of my dress.
"And I, my little fiery dove," he dips his head at my neck, his mouth tracing the very sensitive spot just beneath my earlobe, "couldn't wait any longer to claim you."
I giggle as he teases that spot that would make me his forever, and wind my arms around his neck, drawing him closer. There was never any reason to doubt him, and as he captures my lips in a more heated kiss, the promise of what's to come this weekend, I know.
I know what it's like to feel wanted.
And I could never have wanted to feel that way unless it was with him. Only him.