"The venue is beautifully decorated," is all I can say.
"This is definitely the fanciest event I've ever attended," Gisele says to me, giggling as we step inside the tent.
What she said rings true for me. I usually feel out of place at expensive functions like this. If I had made the same comment, nobody would think twice about assuming I was just sharing an experience, not joking.
I know Gisele means no harm, and anyway, there's no time to ponder on it. Before I can figure out what to say in response, or why everyone is staring at me like I stole something, I am being swept across the dance floor by a dashing gentleman.
"You're the most beautiful woman here tonight," the gentleman says.
Those are his first words to me, before he even introduces himself. It seems strange that he would lead with that. I am flattered, but it feels odd.
"Oh, uhm, thank you," I say to him. He introduces himself and kisses my hand. I quite like it. He makes me feel like I'm a princess in a movie. I feel myself blush and I can't hold in the giggles.
I don't know how to dance, but I like the way he makes me feel, so I agree to dance with him, anyway. I follow him to the dance floor. He places one hand on my waist and he joins the other hand with one of mine.
"I've never done this before," I confess. "I mean, I don't know how to dance. It's okay if you'd rather dance with someone else. I don't want to spoil your fun," I whisper.
"Just follow my lead," he says. He has a friendly smile, and he seems genuinely willing to teach me, so I oblige him.
We spin around and around in circles. I enjoy it far more than I had expected I would have. One moment I find myself chest to chest with a man I had just met, and frankly whose name I had already forgotten. Next thing I knew, he sent me spinning across the dance floor.
Just like that, I landed up in the arms of another man. He was just as polite, just as charming, as my previous suitor.
"Wanna dance?" he asked me. "Or we could sit and have a chat if you'd prefer."
Gisele must have used a magic makeup brush on me or something, I thought to myself. The men from the Knoon Pack have never desired me. I am usually made to feel that I am repulsive. I know my social status was a part of the reason, but I'm discovering now it may be the only reason.
It comes as a surprise to be fawned over by high-ranking wolves of other packs. I try to mimic how Gisele, or even Medeia, would react when receiving compliments, but it's harder than it seems.
I blush every time someone describes me as beautiful. It seems like a big word coming from anyone, but especially esteemed and revered wolves who can have any woman they like.
I feel naïve to believe them, but then I feel arrogant because why would they lie to me?
After 4 or 5 encounters, I take the advice of my latest suitor to stop over thinking. He tells me to fake it till I make it.
"You have something special, Anastasia," he tells me. "Even if it's just for tonight, enjoy hearing it and act like you know it. I promise you'll have a lot more fun if you do."
"Won't everyone just see through me?" I ask him.
"It's very rare that people are being totally honest about who they are," my suitor tells me.
"We're always trying to put forward the best version of ourselves. It can empower you, trust me. Just try it out. Everyone here already knows you're beautiful, anyway. All you need to do is act like you do, too."
He's right. How simple.
The other packs don't care about my Omega status. They only see me as Ana. So, I made a conscious decision to spend the rest of the night as Anastasia.
I dance, laugh and hear stories from other packs. I can't help but wonder how different things could be for me in any other pack. The person I could be free to become. The quality of life I could have had.
I notice I don't spiral at the thought of things which I usually wouldn't be able to handle on a typical day. Clearly, faking it has been the answer all along. From across the
dancefloor, I see Gisele smile at me.
I gesture to a nearby table with my thumb and she joins me.
"Ana, I am having the best time!" she squeals.
She hugs me tightly. I don't break free from her hold for once. I just embrace her, and it feels natural.
"I'm having the best time too, Gisele," I say to her. "Thanks for making me so pretty."
"You were already so pretty," she says. "I only helped you enhance what you already had."
I feel myself blush again. I can't fake taking a compliment yet. It's getting old, quickly.
"Anyway," Gisele says. "Do you think Jacob is acting kinda funny?"
"He's being so weird!" I say, without thinking about it. But as soon as I speak the words, I wish I could suck them back in and swallow them. I notice the look of curiosity on Gisele's face. I know we can't possibly be talking about the same thing. I have to think of a decoy quickly.
"Well, what do you think is the reason?" Gisele asks me.
I notice Jacob throwing quick glances at us as we speak. He's been watching me in this way all night long. I want to be honest with her, but I can't. There's no way I can explain
this to Gisele without making her feel shitty or causing a rift between us.
"Well, uhm," I begin. "I don't know. What do you think the reason is?"
"Oh, I've been bursting to tell you!" she squeals. "I really think tonight is going to be special for us."
"What do you mean?" I ask her. I brace myself for what I'm about to hear. My gut instinct tells me I will not like it.
"Well, I overheard Derek and Kimon saying the Alpha plans to take our relationship to the next level," Gisele says.
She's smiling from ear to ear as she speaks. She can barely contain her excitement. She goes quiet, so I assume she's waiting for a prompt.
"Okay," I say flatly. I realize my tone doesn't match hers, so I clear my throat and feign an awkward smile before I continue. "What's the next level, Gisele? Don't keep me in suspense here."
"Honestly, your guess is as good as mine," she says resignedly. I exhale a silent sigh of relief. Then she opens her mouth again to continue.
"We always spoke about moving in together after I graduated," she said cheerily. "I think he's going to ask me to move into the Alpha house with him. I'm always there, anyway. I basically live there as it is. It would only make sense."
I feel my heart break in two. I couldn't have heard that correctly.
"Move in together?" I ask flatly. This time I don't regulate my tone. "Are you sure that's what is it?"
"I'm pretty sure," she said. "I really hope so anyway. We're mates and I feel it's high time. I'm ready. If he's ready, then why not?"
I'm silent for a while. There's a high-pitch sound ringing in both of my ears. My heart is palpitating at desperate speeds. I feel like I'm on the edge of losing control, or consciousness. I'm dizzy and nauseous.
"Ana?" Gisele snaps me out of my catatonic state of shock.
"I'm sorry Gisele, I'm not feeling well at all," I say. "I need a bathroom. I think I'm going to throw up."
"Are you okay?" she asks. She sounds sincere, and it pisses me off. I want to yell at her to shut up and leave me alone.
"Yeah, I'm so happy for you guys," I say to her and I feign a smile. I hold back my tears.
"I'm just gonna run to the bathroom quickly. I think it's something I ate."
I run off into the forest before the hot tears spill down my face. All I can think about is how my night is ruined and I crave the feeling of cold steel splitting my skin open