Loving someone.
"Sometimes it makes you happy, sometimes it makes you hurt."
But with Kenzo Yamamoto's case, being hurt happened most of the time. Loving her made him feel alive, but at the same time, she made him feel almost dying.
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KENZO walked away and didn't wait for Senthie's reply. He hopped into his car and switched on the engine and started to drive.
Thinking about her made his heart clench. He was breathing hard, gasping for air. He squeezed his chest hoping it would lessen the pain.
That was expected. He wasn't surprised. But why did it hurt so much? Was it because she never said it back?
He held back his tears as he stopped the car and parked it at the corner of the driveway to calm himself. He rolled down his window, hoping to breathe in the fresh air. But he wasn't himself to think that there would be fresh air on the highway. Before the smoke and pollution could push their way through his window car, he rolled it up again to close it. He leaned back his head and shut his eyes for a moment.
Several minutes had passed when he decided to get his act together. He took a deep breath and started driving again. He reached the building where his condo was located. He went straight to his unit and pressed the lock code to open the door. As soon as he was inside, he unbuttoned his top, undressed, and went straight to the bathroom. He pulled the curtain sidewards, revealing the shower area. Placing a hand on the wall in front of him, he let his face fall forward as he turned the shower on. The water splashed across the back of his neck and shoulders. He took a shower to lift his mood. He would always do this whenever he felt down.
He had to try harder. He held up for almost two years, he could do it for another year. No, he'd love to make their relationship last until she could say those three words to him, then he would do it--he would ask her to marry him.
It was 10:47 PM when Kenzo decided to get out of the bathroom with only a towel on his hips. His hair was still wet and beads of water were dripping on his bare shoulders. He grabbed another towel to dry his hair. His gaze went to the bedside table and saw his phone blinking. He sat on the edge of the bed, reached for his phone, and saw two messages from his girlfriend.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I just didn't feel good, maybe because I didn't chew the steak well. But I'm fine now. Hahaha. Btw, Can we meet tomorrow? I have something important to tell you." - Sent at 9:52 PM
Her apology made him smile, though he knew It was a lie. Senthie would never feel sick because of food. Kenzo shook his head and read her next message.
"Are you asleep?" - Sent at 10:46 PM
Kenzo replied at 10:48 PM.
"Sorry. I was taking a shower when you texted me. Sure, let's meet tomorrow. You okay at Cafe-tea-Ria, 8 AM?"
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The shop was not that busy today and only a few customers were to be seen inside the coffee shop. Senthie was sitting at the window side where the view of the street outside could be seen clearly. Holding two cups of coffee, Kenzo approached her and gave the one in his right hand. "Here's yours. I ordered your favorite, hot choco mocha."
She thanked him and smiled at him sweetly, making his heart melt. She was beautiful, the way her dark green hair complement her porcelain skin, matching her big almond eyes with the green contacts she was wearing, Kenzo felt a blush forming on his cheeks. She was adorable just by doing nothing.
He didn't know when he started to have feelings for her, it just happened. He tried to stop it, 'coz he knew that he would just get hurt if he chose to continue it, but before he knew it, he was falling hard for her.
Kenzo pulled the chair to sit across from her and took a sip of his coffee. "So what is this important thing you have to say?"
Holding her cup, Senthie made an awkward smile and turned her gaze outside. "Uh, the weather is nice."
He stared at her and furrowed his brows. "I'm pretty sure that's not the thing you wanted to say."
She laughed nervously. "Uh... You know... Uh... You see.."
He knew this behavior.
Kenzo cut her off with a stern tone that made her look him in the eyes. "I know you never hesitate like this unless it's about that certain thing."
He turned his gaze at his cup on the table to avoid her eyes and continued, "so, no. Don't say it. I think I know what you're going to say."
Senthie seemed to be surprised by what he said because she remained silent for a moment. Until she firmly said, "no, I have to say it."
"I'll leave if you do," Kenzo warned her, clenching his knuckles as he pulled himself to stand. The metal chair screeched against the floor.
She replied right away. "I need to say it."
Kenzo held back his tears and turned his back, ready to leave. As soon as he took a step, a hand stopped him.
"Kenzo, please." Senthie was holding his hand tightly.
He tilted his face upward to prevent the water in his eyes from falling, but the corner of his eye let out a drop of tear that he was holding back when he blinked. He took a deep breath and wiped the tear using his free hand.
"Okay." He sighed at his pathetic state and turned to face her. "I just can't say no to you."
She let go of his hand and thanked him. They took their seats and let themselves cool down a bit.
Senthie was the first one who broke the silence. "To confirm what you're thinking..." Her eyes didn't meet Kenzo's when she began, but when she continued, she decided to look him in the eyes. "Let's get back to being friends only."
How could she say that straight? Didn't she consider his feelings? But maybe, that was for the better.
Now that the words came out of her mouth, Kenzo couldn't help the tears from falling.
It hurt him so much. He really loved her. She was his first love.
"Sen, we can, I mean... I can try again. I'll be better. Just please, don't break up with me," he begged, tears streaming down his face.
She bit her lower lip, her eyes were a bit red and teary. "You're more than better, Kenzo. I couldn't ask you for more."
"No! I left you for work all the way to Japan, and that was for almost six months, for goodness sake! Maybe, that is the reason why you feel like this. So, let's think this through, okay?" Kenzo reached for her hands on the table and held them tightly. "Come on, babe. Please."
Her hands pulled away from his grip. "You know very well that that's not the reason."
The sadness in her voice got him automatically defeated.
"I know you would understand since we'd expected this to happen right from the start. We were just being positive," she added.
She was right. This was expected to happen. This kind of thing already happened in the past, he was her fourth boyfriend, and all of them had the same ending. Kenzo knew this--he did this to himself. He was the one who convinced her to be his girlfriend. He was just being positive that someday she would learn how to love him too--though now, he thought that was just wishful thinking. Yet still, he was happy when she gave him a chance, and if she would give him another chance--he would gladly take it, even though he knew that another chance was lowly possible.
Damn it! That was insanely painful, yet he had to accept it.
Going back to reality, Kenzo accepted the situation and set aside his feelings. He took a deep breath and swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. "You're right." He faked a smile and held out a hand to her. "Hi, I'm Kenzo Yamamoto. Pleased to be your friend again."
Senthie looked surprised and gave a puzzled gaze at his hand.
"Does staring supposed to be an answer? Come on, shake my hand before I change my mind," he said, forcing a smile.
Senthie smiled and extended her hand to shake his hand. "My pleasure."
Still holding her hand, Kenzo squeezed it lightly and looked intently into her eyes. "But in case you have a change of heart..." He paused for a second and found her questioning visage but that didn't bother him and he continued--showing her the biggest smile he could make. "I'm still here, always available for you."
Senthie was the real deal and the hardest challenge in his life. He would be the happiest man in the world if she'd give him her heart, so he didn't lose hope.
He would never lose hope.
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Meanwhile...
SENTHIE's tears flowed on her face down to her chin, sobbing like a child. Sitting on the floor in the corner of her room, she took a tissue and sneezed her nose.
"I feel so bad for hurting Kenzo. I won't date anyone again!" she swore under her breath.
As she was putting away the used tissue in her hand, she noticed her phone on the floor vibrating, an unknown number was flashing on the screen. She stopped herself from sobbing, took a deep breath, and cleared her throat before answering the phone. "Hello? Who's this?"
"Am I speaking to Ms. Salvador?" the man on the other line asked. He continued right away when she said 'yes.'
"Hello, this is Liam Rivera, from Grand Mall Corporation, this is to inform you that we have decided to give you the opportunity to be one of the tenants in Grand Mall, located in Sta. Rosa, Laguna."
His voice sounded music to her ears, nodding her head with every word he said like syncing it to the beat. Her heart made somersaults and was pounding out loud like the beat of the drum. She was so happy that she had forgotten her situation a while ago. She never expected this to happen. Dreams really do come true, she thought.
Senthie was thrilled and couldn't hide it in her voice. "Really? Oh, God. Thank you! Thank you very much!"
"You can check your email for further information. We've sent you the details for your reference."
The call ended with her last words, "yes, I will. Thank you!"
She couldn't believe this. How was this possible? This was real, right? She wasn't dreaming? She pinched her cheek to check. "It hurts! So, this really happens in real life. Is this a miracle?"
Senthie couldn't contain her happiness. Cecile would be delighted to hear this good news.
She checked the email from GMC and forwarded it to Cecile. She'd been friends with her since High School. Their relationship was deepened and they became best friends. She'd support her in everything she did, Cecile also encouraged her to push her dreams and made her never give up. She was her best friend, her sister, and her business partner.
Senthie named her business from her name. It was called Fashion Sen's. Cecile didn't mind it. She said that it was okay since Senthie would be the one working her butt hard. She graduated from college with a degree in fashion design. They'd be selling women's tops and gowns. For the tops, Cecile found a factory that would cater their service to make Senthie's designs in real life, while for the customized gowns, she'd be the one who would make them.
Being a fashion designer was her dream since she was a child. She didn't know how and when, but it just popped up nowhere in her mind. She even remembered that time when her mother had seen all her notebooks, full of sketches on the back pages, she got mad and warned her to never do it again. It was a memory that she could laugh at at any time, and it was a memory that also made her sad.
Her mother didn't support her dream.
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Hello, Noomiells!
Thank you for reading this chapter. Hope you liked it. :D
What do you think of Senthie's decision? Do you think it was for the best to break up?
Did you feel bad for Kenzo?
Also...
Raise your hands if you were one of those students who loved doodling or scribbling in their notebooks instead of taking notes! Tell me about your experience when your mom found out.