The festival was the next day. The moon in the sky was almost not even visible. This time, I didn't feel a void in my heart. There was a full tide in my heart and I knew the tide was for Vic. It seemed stupid to fall for someone whom I met only a few weeks ago, but was it only a matter of a few weeks? Or over two centuries? I could feel a sharp pang in my heart every time I tried to breathe. It was hard to grasp everything that was going on in my mind. What sort of sorcery was this? When did I get so attached to Vic? I only met him two weeks ago, and now it feels like I have authority over him. As if I know he's mine, and I want him to have the same attitude towards me. Why was it so hard to let go of him? What was it that kept me going back to him time and again?
"Why? Why do you have to be like this, Vic? What did I ever do to you? Why did you make me fall for you if you only wanted to leave me in the end like this? Just like everyone else- you- you turned out to be the same, Vic. You're not a symbol of love, no- but a big symbol of pain, Vic… Pain…" I mumbled through my cries. I didn't even realize when my crying turned into helpless wails. My heart hurt. I felt hopeless. It was true, just like the approaching new moon, my heart was filled with nothing but darkness. Everything brought me pain. Everytime I would think of him- his eyes, his touch, his smile, his hair… the way he held me, helped me get better, supported me… it all only made me cry more. It felt like I didn't know this Vic at all. But on the other hand, why did I even want him that bad? What was this connection? Was he my fate, after all?
"Moon? Moon is that- is that you?!" Vlad's voice made me turn around.
"Vlad?" I sniffled and wiped the tears off my face.
"Moon! What are you… doing here? It's- it's pretty late."
"Why? Does Vic own the river bank too, that I can't visit it anymore?"
"No, no, I- I didn't mean it that way. I meant- you usually don't come out at night like this. That's why I asked."
I remained silent, looking away. Dione was right. She was alone even in a family, and Vic didn't have a family. Now I could feel the pain Dione must have felt. For the first time in a long while, I felt like I was really alone… In need of someone to make me feel home. Someone, with whom, I could make a home. Someone who's hands I could hold, someone who's shoulder I could cry on, someone to laugh and cry with. It was evident Caleb was not the one. Anya was right about him all along. All that glitters is never gold. Caleb was a fleeting love. And maybe, I was only his attraction, after all? Not love, no- because if I really was his love, he would care. But he never cared. But did Vic care? Why was he gone, then, if he really did?
"Moon," Vlad came up to me and put a hand on my shoulder, "Calm down, Moon. I understand what you're going through, but trust me, so is Vic, and-"
"Oh please, Vlad. You don't have to prove his innocence to me. He probably doesn't need it as well. So it doesn't matter."
"That's- that's not true, Moon. Vic was hurt too. In fact, since he came back this morning, he has been-"
The sound of a loud clash interrupted Vlad, as he shot up immediately.
"Vic!" He said, and ran. I was confused, but terrified at the same time. "Vic?" What was this even about? I got up and ran after Vlad, and when I reached their home, I was shocked.
"VIC WHAT THE HELL?! I TOLD YOU TO STOP DOING THIS!" Vlad's voice thundered, as he walked around the room full of broken vials, containers and spilled liquids. I slowly walked into the house, every step almost breaking my heart. I could feel myself getting ready for another meltdown session, but then I saw Vic. My heart sank as soon as I saw him. His face was pale, and his clothes were covered in dust. Blood was dripping from his hands making a small pool on the floor. He looked fragile and broken, but he was still struggling to fight his ego.
"Vic- AH!" I took a step forward and stepped on a glass shard. Upon hearing my voice, Vic turned towards me in utter disbelief. For one moment, it felt like he wanted to throw away his ego and run up to me and cry in my arms, but then, his eyes flashed his anger.
"Moon? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? DID I NOT TELL YOU, VLAD, TO NOT TALK TO RANDOM PEOPLE?! WHY IS SHE HERE?!"
Vic's words tore me down. But I couldn't afford to let my ego win anymore.
"Vic, please, stop it. I can't do this anymore… please."
"TAKE HER AWAY! NOW!" He shouted to Vlad, but for once, Vlad refused and walked out. Vic was fuming. I somehow managed to get the glass shard out of my foot and threw it aside, but being unable to keep my balance, fell right into Vic's arms. Vic winced a bit, as he held me tight. His hands were bleeding more now. As soon as I managed to stand on my feet, I took his hand in mine to inspect the wound, but Vic rudely pulled his hand away and began walking out the door. I rushed after him, struggling to keep up because of my injured foot, but I managed to hold him by his hands. However, he pulled it away again and turned back to look at me.
"WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"
"I'M HERE FOR YOU, DAMNIT!" I screamed right at his face, and pulled his hand forward and looked at it.
"Why? You have your boyfriend with you now. You don't need me anymore, do you?"
"Shut up, Vic. SHUT THE HELL UP! I CAN'T TAKE YOUR CRAP ANYMORE! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, VIC? WHY?!"
"DOING WHAT?!"
"HURTING ME! WHY DO YOU KEEP HURTING ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND?! ONCE YOU WANT ME TO REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO BE, AND THE NEXT MOMENT YOU TOSS ME AROUND LIKE I'M A BALL! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"
"What is wrong with ME? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, MOON?! YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? YOU THINK I WASN'T HURT? No, Moon, I've been hurt enough."
"Hurt enough that you let go of me that easily?"
"Yes." He said coldly. I was silent. I let go of his hand.
"And… and why would I even hold you back, Moon? Who am I to you? No one… I'm no one." He said, looking away. I looked down, sobbing.
"That is not true. You know that it's not."
"Yeah? And why does it even matter? You have whom you wanted. Caleb. He's the one for you."
"Vic. Stop putting your words in my mouth. I never said-"
"Said what, Moon? That you had a boyfriend? Well you never did tell me that, did you? I mean, what could've gone wrong? I could've at least known that… that- I was… That you-"
"What? Why are you stuttering, Vic? Go on. Shoot the last bullet. I've heard it enough times now. You've told me already that you don't matter to me, and that neither do I, to you. What next?"
"I never said you don't matter."
"Oh, do I, now? And why is that so? Why do I matter, when you're absolutely no one in my life? Why do I matter when you know Caleb is the best for me?"
"Because you don't belong here, Moon. You… You have a life outside this world. You don't belong with me."
I scoffed at him, wiping the tears off my face.
"Funny. At one point, you make me feel like I'm the only one that deserves to be with you… that I'm the only one in your heart. Your actions make me feel like the happiest woman one day, and then the next day, you treat me like I don't even exist. Make up your mind, Vic. because no, even I can't be with someone who doesn't know how to stick to their vows."
Vic furrowed his brows and glared at me.
"I've never broken my vows. NEVER."
"Yes, you have, Vic. You've broken the vow of trust, love, and honesty. You did say you were a faithful lover, but all I saw was a cowardly man who ran away on seeing someone else near his… love."
"I… I did not run away. I only did what was right. You love someone else, Moon. And… you deserve to be happy."
"Happiness?" I scoffed, "So you would've given Dione up that easily, wouldn't you?"
"MOON!"
"TELL ME, THEN! WOULD YOU HAVE GIVEN DIONE UP THAT EASILY?!"
"I DIDN'T GIVE HER UP! SHE DID!"
"NO SHE DIDN'T! SHE COULDN'T HAVE, VIC! SHE LOVED YOU! WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS? WHY DON'T YOU EVER UNDERSTAND? WHY, VIC? WHY?! WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL?!"
"WHAT DO YOU FEEL, MOON?! WHAT? IS IT DEEPER THAN WHAT I FEEL?! TELL ME- TELL ME WHAT IS IT THAT YOU FEEL! SHOW ME!!!"
"You know very well what I feel. And YOU ignited this in me. I didn't want this, Vic. I didn't know I was ready for this… but YOU took me back in time. YOU reminded me of us… every time I touched you, or looked into your eyes… I saw us. I saw us being happy, smiling… Then why? Why do you have to be so cold now, Vic? Why?"
"I told you already. Because you have Caleb-"
"NO I DON'T, VIC! I DON'T!! What do you even know about me? What do you know about my life? What do you know about me and Caleb? Do you know how many times he made me cry? Do you know how many sleepless nights I spent, hoping he would come to me, and hold me for once? But I got nothing, Vic. NOTHING. I was the only one putting effort. I was the only one watering the flower of love. I was the only one keeping it safe. Caleb was never there. He was only ever there for himself. I was alone, Vic. Always. Even within a family, I felt alone. And for once- FOR ONCE, Vic- I felt safe in your arms. I felt like home. And… and see? Even this broke like a house of cards. Yes… Yes, I know I didn't tell you about Caleb. And that was because I never thought I would have to. I was conflicted about Caleb and I. Anya knew it all. She somehow told me days back that Caleb and I wouldn't last. But I didn't want to let go. I held on to the last string with all my heart, even though I knew my hands bled, and even though I knew I wouldn't get the same in return. And do you know why I did that? It was because I had never experienced love before. I didn't know it wasn't supposed to be a one-sided effort. I wanted to hold on because life without him seemed dark. But I realized how important this darkness was, for me to really find the light. And I saw it in you, Vic. I felt it in you. But no! You just decided to throw me away. Give me away like I was some sort of a charity item. Why, Vic? Why couldn't you hold on to me? Why did you feel like, after all these centuries… you could just… give me away like that? Did I mean nothing to you? Did Dione mean nothing to you? If my past was a past with you… then why did you not claim me in the present?
"BECAUSE I WAS SCARED, DAMNIT! I- I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOU… I DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM YOUR LOVE!" Vic screamed at my face.
"Then why did you care, Vic? Why did you tend to my wounds? Why did you make me feel this way? You could've just let me die that nigh-"
"MOON!" Vic shouted again, cupping his hand on my lips. I let a tear slip out, as I gently grabbed his hand and pulled it down. I noticed the tears flowing down his face.
"I-I would never, Moon. I would never. I've lived through hell, Moon, after losing you once. I wouldn't dare to do that again. I'd rather kill myself, Moon. But I'd never let anything happen to you. NEVER."
Out of sheer desperation, I held his face in my palms, and leaned closer.
"Then don't let go, Vic. Please… I beg of you… Don't let go. It hurts… It breaks my heart seeing you like this. You are only killing me more with this cold attitude. Please… Don't do this to me. Please…"
I stood on my toes and pressed his lips against mine. Vic shuddered as I kissed him, but he didn't resist. I could feel the tears running down his face, as he grabbed me tighter and pulled me closer against him. He cupped my face, the blood from his hands covering my cheeks. He was lost in the moment, and so was I. Neither of us was ready to let go, lest this moment was lost. When we both pulled away, absolutely breathless, Vic grabbed my neck and held me against the wall. He leaned closer and whispered into my ears.
"Don't you dare… don't you DARE hurt me like that again. You can rather kill me, but don't ever hurt me like that again."
I pushed forward and touched my forehead with his, crying, the same way he was crying.
"Shaanti-statra-undrux. Let calmness wash you over." I whispered. Just like my vision, Vic sunk to the floor on his knees, and hugged my waist. He held me like a little child and kept crying.
"Please, Moon. Don't leave me alone like that. I-I have been alone for so long. It's dark… really dark. You- you brought me back to life, Moon. Don't leave me… And if you do have to leave, don't make this any harder than it has to be… just kill me off and-"
"Shh, shh." I covered his mouth and looked at him, as I then pecked his forehead. I bent down to hug him tight.
"I won't leave, Vic. Stop pushing me away from you. It really hurts. I trust you more than anyone, Vic. My feelings are genuine. It hurts to see you give me up so easily. Don't let go, Vic… please. Please…"
"I won't… I won't let go…" Vic sniffled as he kept sobbing on my chest. I had never seen him be so vulnerable and emotional. It was funny how even I was so emotional at the moment. Truly, we both comforted each other. In moments of silence, we found our peace. We didn't have to tell how much we cared about each other, we could feel it with every heartbeat. Like the calm after a storm, Vic and I lay in each other's arms for the longest time. Nobody said a word, we only felt a surge of peace, and love from within.