At the engagement party, Haruki could not stop glancing at the couple. That was how it should be. He had a family to protect. His grandfather did not make a mistake when he went against all his family to choose him as an heir and he was not going to prove otherwise.
He was still young but that did not mean he could not consider a simple engagement so he could have a ring to constantly remind him that was in a union with someone he should respect. A union he should and would respect not the few hours of pleasure he gets from the multiple men and women he had been intimate with, the doctor included.
His mind which had been quiet since last night seemed to have finally awoken and he could not ease nor get rid of the feeling he felt. He met the doctor's cheerful gaze and he only got angrier with himself for letting the man sleep on his bed.
He was greedy for power, greedy for wealth, and his position as chairman and patriarch of a large family like his gave him enough freedom for that to happen. He maintained eye contact with the man even as the man began moving through to the other guests towards him with a plate of cake.
When the doctor got to Haruki's he slid smoothly into the seat beside Haruki and placed the plate in front of Haruki before saying, "I noticed you enjoyed it, if you want more, I will get it for you."
Haruki still deep in thought only got enveloped in his mind the more the man spoke even the light feathery touch on his arm before the man pressed his leg against his. He could describe them all in one word – comfort. However, comfort was the last thing he wanted.
"Don't you like the cake?" the doctor leaned even closer to him and his soothing voice was just like the one he heard when he went unconscious, the voice that pulled him out of the dream he loved.
He frowned as he could no longer maintain the blank expression he wore and with as much self-control as he could muster, he stood up. The doctor mirrored his movement and he gave the man a silent questioning gaze.
The man met his gaze firmly as usual as though Haruki had given him unlimited viewing privilege with a command to use it up in a day. "Is there anything else you want, I could get it," the doctor offered like a good subordinate.
Haruki holding onto his self-control shook his head calmly knowing none of these would have happened if he had not done what he did last night. Since he could not blame it on the drinks, he was trying hard not to blame it on the man.
When the doctor parted his lips to ask some other question now looking at Haruki worriedly, Haruki shook his head calmly once again before saying as calmly as he could, "This is not what I want."
Before walking away from the table, he added, "I'm going to the bathroom." His words and actions seemed weird and going to the bathroom was the only excuse he could use to leave aside from the fact that he was fighting back some really bad thoughts that could go wild.
The doctor did not follow him and when he got to the bathroom, he splashed a bit of water on his face before mopping it off from his face as he remembered when he was in such an enclosed space with the doctor for the first time.
He should be focusing on getting rid of any thought connected to the man but he could not forget the man's gaze. He would be a fool if he did not notice that he was giving the man more credit than any man should have around him.
First, he broke the rule he always warned his past lovers of and that seemed to be the moment he opened the door to the craziness he was feeling. He rinsed his hand thinking of going out to smoke a bit before returning to the venue to bid his farewell to the bride and groom.
There was a gentle knock on the door of the bathroom before it was pushed open and Hiroshi walked in. He paused a bit when he felt something was off. "Are you okay? You look a bit pale."
Worry, worry, concern, and much more visible in his eyes only made Haruki tremble slightly but this was not what he wanted. He never considered himself gay, he was simply bi and his adventures with men were to prove that he could have men throw their dignity out of the window to be with simply because of the power and wealth he had. He never wanted to throw his dignity away.
"I am sorry, I did not tell you about the wedding at the temple. I had no one else to invite and I thought Aki would be pleased to see you," the doctor did not hesitate to apologize when he guessed what made Haruki displeased.
"Why do you consider yourself any more important than you truly are?" Haruki asked. That was a question he wanted answered, what made the man any different from the other men he had seen? Beauty? No someone like him was not short of beauties around him.
The doctor seemed shocked by the question at first but his expression became calm and unreadable in only a few seconds before he responded, "I am not important, I am a replaceable lover and when I am not wanted anymore, you just need to say the word and I will be gone."
Haruki did not expect such a response and he could not hide the surprise that flashed in his eyes only for a few seconds. "I hope your behavior reflects your words."
The doctor nodded in pure acceptance causing him to feel a mixture of two distinct emotions, anger and satisfaction among a few ignorable feelings. He pressed his lips together before walking out of the restroom.
He sensed someone's presence but he was shocked when he met Aki's confused gaze. He walked to him. "I can't stay any longer," Haruki told him since it was to his advantage that he didn't have to go back to the venue to do this. "Congratulations on your wedding. Wishing you both happiness."
"Thank you," Aki responded with a tight smile.
Haruki who had so much on his mind to be bothered, said a few more words and left. Aki took a step forward to go after his childhood friend but Hiroshi was quick enough to block his part wearing his signature elder brother's scolding gaze Aki was used to but this time, it only made him angry.
"You slept with him, right?" Aki asked in disbelief as though he simply wanted his brother to correct his thoughts.
"I don't think you should be worried about that but about your guests waiting for you," Hiroshi told his brother with a brotherly pat on his shoulder.
Haruki who walked to his jeep called his aunt to set him up on a blind date before the end of the week.