"You're ready to go?" He asked as he heard her walk in.
"Yea" Mariah tried her hardest to seem as if this was just a simple walk and not something else. She feared if she thought it to be something else, her defense mechanism would suddenly take control over her and that would be too bad for both of them.
Henry showed her around. From her windows the night seemed beautiful and alive, only now did she really feel first hand how alive the night could be.
The lights seemed brighter in person and the streets appeared busier. The streets were more crowded than they were during the day. It was as if life began at night.
Mariah was busy moving with the rhythm of the wind, she caught the wind with every hair on her skin. Her heart was beating faster than it ever did. She felt a sense of fulfilment and a ting of happiness and contentment.
This was freedom.
A hand suddenly took hers in, bringing her back to the reality that she was not in a fairytale movie.
"Do you like ice cream?" Henry asked.
Mariah laughed in spite of herself.
Sheer confusion was plastered on Henry's face.
"No, I do not like ice cream"
The confusion on Henry's face deepened, he had never met anyone who did not like ice cream.
"Why?"
Mariah laughed " I don't know, I just don't like it. I think it's overrated"
Henry moved his mouth like he wanted to say more but then decided against it "what then would you like to have?"
Mariah thought for a while "I have no clue, let's just walk over to where those things are being sold then I can make my decision"
Henry laughed. Mariah's hand was still in his. It was the perfect fit.
As he led her away to get a late night snack, they spent every minute talking about all the things that existed in their lives excluding friends and family on Mariah's part.
They talked about politics, war, strangers, gossipped about their neighbors, talked about movies and so on. There was a happiness in her heart that she had forgotten how it felt until now. Until now that the wind caressed her skin, now that she found a symphony in the blaring sounds of cars honking and screeching, now that her fingers are intertwined with Henry's. Now.
Mariah did not want the night to come to an end. Though she finished several rounds of street foods, some with names she could hardly pronounce, she still wanted to continue this walk with him. It was as if, as long as it was with him, she was willing to walk a million miles.
However, time was not in their favour, Henry decided to call it a night when he started noticing that people were starting to get fewer on the streets so he led Mariah back to the building.
"I had so much fun," Mariah said when they entered the elevator.
"I'm glad you did."
Mariah was leaning against the elevator walls, she was sizing up Henry with her eyes until she realized she wasn't doing just that and it became relatively hard to look away from him. And to have him staring back was another steamy event taking place.
The sound of the elevator moving was the only thing they could hear other than the thumping of their own hearts. Mariah's breathing became heavy as her chest tightened while she stared at the simple boy standing right in front of her. Her body craved to feel the smooth caress of his hand, his tongue against her ears and his teeth sinking into her neck trying to bite off her skin.
Mariah stifled a moan at the thought of having her waist grabbed so tightly by Henry's firm hands. She imagined how savagely he would take her right here in the elevator with the risk of being caught.
Fuck.
The distance between them started to disappear slowly as they were both taking small steps towards each other like magnets attracting iron. Mariah felt an electric current rushing through her and a pull towards Henry that she was unwilling to wrestle with.
All her notions against relationships and entanglements were all flying out the window with every step she took, nothing in the world seemed to make more sense than her sexual thoughts about the boy becoming a reality.
They both stopped walking when the distance between them was barely a finger apart.
"You are so beautiful," Henry confessed.
Mariah was not one to fall for such words and she paid them no mind, what she wanted desperately was for him to close the distance between them, however, he was busy tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
Mariah did not have the time for soft touches. As she was about to take his lips with her own, the elevator doors opened with Adonis standing right in front of it.
He had been staring at his phone, but hearing the doors open, he looked up from the screen of his phone at the two people who were devoid of distance between them.
"Were you guys making out in the elevator!?" He asked out loud.
Mariah mentally facepalmed herself at his stupidity. She was suddenly getting annoyed at everything. She did not bother saying anything, she walked out of the elevator and went straight to her apartment, slamming the door behind her.
Her sudden anger was more directed at herself.
What was she thinking?
She had tried to kiss him no matter how many times she reminded herself that she always ruined the lives of everybody around her. It was etched in her bones the idea that she did not deserve the love and affection of anyone.
It surely wouldn't be a hard fit though, she thought that when he eventually sees her for what she was then all these pretence would come to an end.
Pretence.
There was not another word she deemed worthy to describe the feelings Henry might have for her. He had no idea the kind of person she was. He must've built a construct, an idea of the type of person she was and soon when he realizes that she can't live up to that, those feelings would come crashing down.
That aside, how could she have possibly tried to kiss him?
Her depression started with a kiss. Her decision to resort to self harm started from a kiss. And now, the next guy that presented himself on a silver platter was still going to kiss him. It was as if she had not learned any lesson from the nights she stayed up crying out her eyes, or the blood she had to hide away from her family, or the conversations she shared with the counselor at her high school.
Love was not meant for her.
Mariah fell on her bed, cuddled herself as the tears streaming down her eyes ironically besoothed her. It was the only thing that was not ephemeral in her life.
Pain was always so constant. And in her darkest days, it was her comforter.
And the soft melodious whimpering escaping from her lips lured her to sleep.