Why do I feel so cold?
I opened both my eyes and this time my blurry vision finally managed to make out what was in front of me. It didn't help at all though as no matter where I looked the same scenery remained there. All I could see was an empty white space surrounding me.
Where am I? How did I get here? What happened to me? Is this a dream or something real?
When I try to move, my body feels like lead. I can barely turn my head or even lift my fingers. As much as I tried, only my eyeballs moved. The rest of my body remains immobile and unmoving.
I looked back in front of me when a light suddenly appeared from some unknown direction. My heart started beating fast when I saw what was in front of me. Something coming out from the blinding white light. No. There were many of them, it seemed like a black shadow but in human shape with different colors glowing in one part of their bodies; the heart.
White. Burgundy. Indigo. Green. Purple. Magenta. Gray. Amber. Brown. Turquoise. Cobalt.
They were moving towards me but their steps made no noise. I know they are not alive; they don't look like any living creatures. Not even close to it. They are just...
'Come with us. You are dying. Before it is too late, let us take care of you and we promise we won't let anyone hurt you anymore.'
The voices came together, almost harmonized. Each word being spoken is accompanied by a different kind of glow. And it sounded very familiar but at the same time completely different. Some of them sound human, others sound otherworldly.
What the hell is going on? Who are they? What do they want? How can I trust them? And why would I need to be saved if they are the ones who got me stuck in the middle of nowhere?
My vision became blurry once more. I knew my mind wanted to accept them because there would be something better if that were true but my own senses tell me otherwise.
Everything felt wrong. Everything felt unreal. Everything felt off. This is not right.
I did not give any answer. Only letting the voices keep echoing in my head. Closing my eyes, I waited for what would come next.
'Come. Come with us.'
Suddenly I could feel my fingers twitching. It's almost like I just recovered from being paralyzed. My breath was taken away when I felt how much pain was radiating through my entire body. My whole body aches like crazy. I don't understand what exactly was happening to me. It was really unbearable.
I did not wait long enough and I tried to lift my right arm, which took a lot of strength for me to do so. I looked at it and froze, seeing how pale and bruised my forearm looked. The skin seemed to have been swollen badly. At least that is the impression that I got from looking at it. Like someone put a whole bunch of ice in it.
What?
I could hardly believe my eyes so I tried to lift my other arms then focused my vision on the rest of my body. I was a bit surprised to see myself in a state of naked.
Carefully I touched my face. When I felt my fingers on my skin, I could feel a strange cold texture between my fingertips, a stark contrast from my normal warm skin. "What... happened?"
'Now you are on the verge of death. Wake up and come back to us.'
I frowned when I heard those words.
"On the verge of death? But how...?"
I shook my head trying to get rid of those negative thoughts, as much as possible. "N-No! No way! There is no way I'm dead! You must be joking! Everything doesn't make sense here! I need to wake up and get back to my normal life! Whatever that is!"
'Do you think everything will be the same as before? That you will still have someone who cares about you? Do you really think there's anyone who would still love you after everything you have done?'
"But... I-"
'Look at you. You think everything is going back to normal if you go back to your pathetic self? Without parents? Friends? People? Anything? If so, you are mistaken!'
"I..." My voice trembled as my eyes teared up slightly.
'Don't you get it?! What good will it bring you if you went back to your miserable life? Don't you understand how painful it is? If you go back there, you are no different than your younger self!'
I could no longer handle those questions anymore and I buried my face into my palms. Tears rolled down my cheeks while I sobbed softly.
"I-I didn't mean to. . I never mean to kill them, I swear! I've already made a promise to him, that I... that I will never hurt anyone ever again...!" I yelled between my shaky breaths.
'But don't you remember how you ended up in this situation? Aren't you curious how you died?'
"No, I... Don't..."
Those voices scoffed at me. 'How could you possibly forget? If so, then let me show you.'
<<10>>
I looked down when my body felt warm and it already got covered with white clothes. I raised my head slightly and stared directly at the small pond in front of me. It was peaceful. Nothing seemed disturbed by this calmness around. There wasn't a single person around the pond; just the water itself however seeing this makes me feel uneasy. This place...
The sound of bushes rustling brought me out of the trance of fear. I glanced back and found that there was someone hiding behind the bush. I gulped.
I should leave. No, I need to leave right now!
But my body couldn't move when someone appeared right beside me. This caused me to freeze in my spot while glancing sideways. My eyes landed upon a person's figure that was standing there.
The figure had long white hair, wearing what appears to be a white dress. I couldn't see her face clearly because of the bangs covering her eyes, only her side profile can be seen as she stood there. A small figure with a huge smile adorning her face. Her hand reached out into the bushes in front of me.
"Shh..." She said, placing her index finger over her red lips.
"No need to be afraid. There is no one else here but me. You can come out now." Her voice sounds gentle and soft, almost like she's trying to comfort someone.
As soon as she uttered that sentence, there was a moment of silence before the bushes started shaking violently and someone emerged from it.
It was a boy. His skinny body was trembling violently and he had his eyes clenched shut tightly. He slowly walked in our direction, seemingly hesitant to open his eyes while hiding something on his back. Once he was closer to us, he slowly lifted his head and stared at the lady. A familiar pair of scarlet eyes.
"M... Mother."
The lady smiled again before she bent down, wiping the blood on her son's cheek. "Can you show me what you are hiding there, please?"
With hesitation, he placed whatever he had hidden behind him and showed them to her. It was a small sharp dagger filled with red liquid.
"You shouldn't have taken it from your father, my dear. You could have lost it." The lady sighed.
"I'm sorry mother..."
"I forgive you since you have done a very great job. What a good boy you are." She pulled him in her embrace and stroked her son's hair repeatedly.
The boy only kept quiet. But his eyes kept staring at the behind of his mother. I followed his gaze and turned around, shocked by what I found there.
The beautiful pond from earlier had become nothing more but a dried up pool of blood covered ground where nothing remained, leaving only a few pieces of rotten flesh and bone. All of the bodies were scattered across the ground, surrounding three figures in the center of it.
I took a step backward and almost stumbled over my feet. I looked down and saw a girl who was in a gruesome state. Blood had dripped down onto her shoulder and was dripping down to the ground. Her uniform was soaked in blood. My shaky hand went up to cover my mouth in shock when I saw her face.
"...Iris...!" I finally managed to whisper. Quickly I tried to reach out to her with my hands, wanting to help her. However Iris grabbed onto my collar and pulled me towards her, I gasped in surprise.
She opened her eyes, revealing two violet orbs inside that looked rather frightening. Her nails dug deeply into my collar as her grip tightened. Her breathing was fast, almost hyperventilating.
I watched her with terror in my eyes, unable to utter a single word.
"Murderer," she muttered between gasping breaths. "Why aren't you dead yet?! No! Just kill me already so I can at least stop pretending to be friends with a killer like you!"
"I-Iris..."
Suddenly Iris vanished as soon as I called out her name. Her presence was gone as quickly as it had come.
I dropped to my knees, staring at the empty spot where Iris used to be. The realization of what had just happened struck me hard in the chest.
"This... it's not possible..." I mumbled quietly, barely audible. "That's impossible..."
'You need to remember. Those humans you care for, were also the same humans who killed you. Because of their selfishness, you're the one who has to suffer. Because of their greed, they took your life away from you. Why? Was it because of your previous sin? Right, it would be unfair to not punish you. After all, you deserve this.'
"I-I did that for a reason. I never meant to do such cruel things to them."
'For what kind of reason? Didn't you do it to survive? You wouldn't kill them if they didn't start it in the first place. You were only defending yourself, am I right? You wanted to protect no one but you.'
I lifted my head, blinked at the reddish sky. "How do you..."
'Of course I know. After all...' A hand touched my left cheek and drew my attention away from the sky. I moved my gaze towards the same woman from earlier. '...I'm the one who made you, my son.'
My eyes widened in disbelief. "Mother? You're still alive?"
'Of course not. Physically I'm not here but I'm always right by your side.' Mother brushed my head with a sweet smile painted on her red lips.
'Now tell me. What will you choose? Will you go back? Or will you give your life to me? If you go back, the same thing will happen again but if you choose the latter, I assure you that you will never suffer again.'
The smile on her lips disappeared as blood trickled down her chin. Slowly, tears flowed down her cheeks.
"Enough with your bullsh*t. You think you can trick me again? I'm aware that I'm the one who killed them but you're the one who gave the knife. For seven years I've been living miserably but my life has only gotten better because of Iris."
I gritted my teeth. "She was the first person to approach me even though we were just strangers. She was the one who gave me the courage to live once again even though it was difficult for me, and most importantly, she was the one who helped me find my humanity and you dare to insult and use her to fool me?!"
The rage within me was growing with every second, my fists were clenched tightly together, and the veins in my neck were popping out.
"Iris is my precious friend. I won't let you take her or use her, or whatever the hell you're trying to do. I will fight you until the end. Heed my words, mother."
I pulled out the sword in my hand from her body. I didn't know where and how it appeared but now its hilt rested against my palm. Blood stained my hands as the hilt became slick with it.
"I will be the one who gets my revenge for what those killers have done to me. I won't stop until they pay for all the sufferings they inflicted on me, even if it might cost my own life."
She fell and sat on the ground, letting out a soft chuckle even though the blood was running out from the corner of her lips.
'A pure soul is like a clean, spotless cloth. But with just one drop it will stain the white fabric. The stain flowing slowly, hiding the pure beauty and bringing forth the opposite soul. A filthy, tainted soul that can't hold any good emotions for others. A corrupted soul full of sorrow and darkness.'
Her smile widened when she stared at my face. There's a black tears falling down on my right eye which I didn't realize has changed its color. The color of death.