Written by- Silver Crown
Chapter-23 A Break
"Big brother is back. Yay..."
"Java big brother, I picked up these for you."
"Little brother, come. It might be heavy. Let's sister carry that bag for you."
Those welcoming voices of my siblings filled my ears to the brim as I came back from school. Their childish and immature welcome voices are causing me to smile uncontrollably. As one of my big sisters carries my school bag, I hold the hands of my younger siblings in each of my hands. A little girl with nose water dangling on her nose is running in front of me while holding my lunchbox in her two hands. She was the youngest, the eighth child. The youngest is holding the lunchbox above her head like a ring girl in MMA. Wearing an oversize loosely fixed shirt of my mother, she has a silly smile plastered on her face.
Holding our hands together, we walked into our shabby house under the bridge. After I go in, the surroundings change into a much bigger room. The room is spacious and it is giving me a quite familiar sensation. I looked around and found ten of my siblings standing at my front. They stood there and glanced at me with different expressions on their faces.
"You all didn't help a single time at the store. It's all me, I buy things from the suppliers and put things to sell. It's me who did all accounting and developed these stores to stand tall up to this day. Those chain stores are raised by my sweat and blood. Father and mother might be the owner on paper but all responsibility and burden are carried solely on my back. While none of you has spare time to help us out. You all are busy with your matters. Now you all want to grab a portion of it using inheritance right? On what ground? No, I don't agree. Even if the main store ownership contract is under Java's name, who cares? I wouldn't give a dam about it. You can take everything but don't touch the stores. I wouldn't give any of you a single piece of it. That belongs to me."
"Java we are not educated people like you. That money might be nothing for you but it was a quite sum for us. If we don't have this little bit of money, we can't start a business. Let us have it. Later when we are financially stable, we will give your share back. Okay? Our family needs this."
"Please can't you think of your nieces and nephews? Don't you still have some money you saved? You wouldn't be broke for forfeiting this little bit of money."
"Hay, stop arguing with me. I'm the eldest son. I will have a full share of my portion as stated in the law. Let's divide things according to the law."
Their heights are towering above me as they talk. They argued and quarreled with each other. With each word they spoke, they become more and more distant and become illusory. I tried to mediate them but my voice couldn't reach their ears. The words coming out of my mouth are drowned by their voices.
On my left, my fourth sister Si Si is holding my hand. However, all of a sudden some people showed up and pulled two of us apart. They forcefully dragged sister Si Si away from me.
"Brother help me. Help me. Let go of me I don't want to go with you."
I hear my sister crying and screaming for help.
'No, No, No, No...no.'
"Please don't. Not again. Move. I have to move."
I was rooted there unable to pull her back and unable to say any words like a mute. I stood there and watched the scene as she got dragged into the darkness slowly by them. I felt my strength was sapped away from my body. Unable to support my body, I fall to the floor with my knees first with a heavy thud.
I hastily extend my hands not to fall with the face. As two of my hands are backing up my upper body, my head drops due to the fall. At that point, I dazedly looked at the floor. From the darkness, Scarlet blood flows along the floor. The thin stream of blood reached my kneel. And it forms a small blood puddle before me. Along with the scarlet blood, some pieces of flesh appeared in my line of sight.
It was the severed fingertips of a human. When I probe the darkness where the blood is coming from, I saw a giant blood current crumbling toward me with big momentum. I hurriedly tried to turn back and run with all of my strength. But it was already too late. I got swept away by the giant wave and plunged into the sea of blood. I hold my breath and struggle to float toward the surface. As I swing upward in the sea of blood, hysterical screaming, swearing, loathing, calling for help, and some unidentifiable whispering voices appeared occasionally in my ears.
I swing four of my limbs using all of my strength. No matter how I tried, I couldn't reach the surface. A thin layer of mucus-like membrane is preventing me from breaking out of the surface of the sea. I hit and scratched the membranes with my hands multiple times but it does not tear up or break. It stretches like elastic plastic or rubber. Every time I hit, it releases the impact force back to me. Out of desperation, I try to grab a tiny dot of light shining in the sea of blood. How funny, why do I have the idea to grab the light?
I couldn't move my limbs anymore as I was suffocated. I think I gonna drown to death in a red sea. My body slowly dropped into the depth of the sea. I can see my two arms rising in my line of sight. My vision slowly deteriorated and went into complete darkness.
"Gasp...Huff, Huff."
As soon as I woke up from the strange dream, my lungs start to breathe heavily. Greedily inhaling and exhaling the air like a drowned person. I placed my hands on my face while panting heavily.
'That same dream again.'
Sticky sweats are oozing out of my forehead and some parts of my body. The cloth I'm currently wearing is wet in various places, drenched with heavy sweat. I look around my surroundings. Currently, I'm sitting on the bed. Alone in this cottage that has no door or wall separating the bedroom from others. A dim light is shining through the opening of the window, located on my right side. At the left side of the bed was a bedside table where I conveniently placed the water flask.
After calming down a bit and settling down the influences of the nightmare, I feel my throat burning and dehydrated. I opened the water flask quickly and drank the content thirstily, mouthful after mouthful. Some water spilled from my mouth but I kept on drinking until my thirst was quenched. I wipe away the water sticking to my mouth using my forearm.
For a couple of minutes, I looked at the opening of the window as I recalled some parts of my dream. Then, I remembered how I fu@k up and end up becoming a labor disciple of this place. I hugged my knees and buried my face between them. I feel sad, miserable, and useless at the same time.
'What am I doing here?'
Tears flow down and wet my knees. I'm not the type of person who loves to cry and wail loudly. No matter how difficult life is, I try to bear the pain without showing anything on the outside and try to find something out of hardships. However, at this moment I couldn't stop crying. Like some sort of switch has been clicked. I cried and cried. Screamed my lung out for who knows how long. After crying to my heart's content, I got exhausted.
I found myself hugging a mattress like a ball in my embrace. It was soiled with my tears, saliva, and nose water. I couldn't care much about it as my thoughts are in disarray. Many random thoughts appeared and disappeared inside my brain. Shifting one topic to another without any coherence.
I didn't die at a young age in my past life. Even though the final moments of my past life and some parts of my memories are still hazy in my head, I can safely deduce that I lived up to 57 years or more on a planet called Earth.
If I added 13 years of this life, I might be a 70-year-old man. So, shouldn't I be a little more mature or have a little bit more tolerance about losing someone dear? Well, the problem is I'm an old soul in a 13-year-old child's body. My conscience isn't willing to shy away from guilt and responsibility. Yet, my physical body isn't strong enough to bear the emotional burden. I'm still a child physically. It's causing a glitch in my brain causing more emotional and irrational.
I look at the exact time via the device the sect provided. It is more than two hours before the appointment time.
I'm pretty much awake so I decided to clean up the mess first. After I finished cleaning a bunch of things and myself, I still have two hours left. I take my time to dress up and put the clock and meal ticket in my inner pocket.
My eyes are a bit red and swollen due to crying. I don't want to arrive early and wait at the place for a long time. Especially not with my red swollen eyes, it will be the same as announcing to everyone that I cried.
'In't that happening. Not on my watch.'
Nevertheless, I don't want to stay inside the empty house for the remaining time either. As I feel like staying alone in the cottage is a little stuffy and will not improve my spirit. Therefore, I decided to leave the cottage and do some clumsy yoga posts in my front courtyard. Trying to pass some time before going to the designated place for a group met up.
There are 84 Asanas or 84 poses of yoga. It's quite ironic that I can only recall easy 18 Asanas. Starting from 1-Shava Asana (Corpse Pose), 2-Padma Asana ( lotus pose), 3-Baddha Padmasana (lotus pose with hands crossed at back), 4-Simh Asana ( frog with open mouth and tongue), 5-Mahavira Asana(warrior pose), 6-Paschimot Asana (Seated Forward Bend), 7-Majari Asana( cat, cow pose), 8-Setu bandha Asana (bridge), 9-Kandhara Asana (shoulder pose), 10-Chakra Asana (wheel pose), 11-Tada Asana (mountain pose), 12-Eka pada Asana(one leg pose), 13-Trikona Asana,14-Upavishta Asana, 15- Parvata Asana, 16-Ardha Kurma Asana, 17-Bhrnga Asana, and lastly 18-Vaataayana Asana. That is all I can remember. The last one is the most difficult pose for me while others are relatively easy.
I tried all 18 poses. I haven't done this for ages, so my posture is a little stiff and shaky. It has no fluidity or flow as I perform a random pose that appears in my mind. There is still some time left. So, I decided to meditate on my usual yoga meditation. Sitting cross-legged on the ground, I tried to visualize seven Chakras in my ethereal body.
As usual, I don't feel anything strange. I don't feel like I am being empowered by mysterious energy or something. Maybe I'm doing it wrong or the Chakra system does not exist in this world. I shook off my eccentric thoughts. I don't care whether it has miraculous power or not.
Whenever I take breathing exercises and focus on the technique, I only have one purpose in mind. That is 'to get a tranquil mind'. What happened in the past or what held in the future, I keep them in the back of my mind in this breathing exercise. Henceforth, during this brief period, I am able to take a break temporarily from worrying thoughts that are constantly weighing me down the entire time.
However, it was simply a brief moment of luxury. I can't run away the whole time.
I have to wake up to reality as the clock in my inner pocket starts vibrating. It is signaling the appointment time is near as well as the start of another day I have to spend inside the sect.