in a dark room illuminated only by a light coming from a hanging light bulb, a strange contraption with a gun attached to it can be seen, a figure is seen pacing around the device while looking at a set of papers in one hand and a book in the other, and after a while of looking at the papers, he exclaims.
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"I've done it! it's finally done." I exclaimed while looking at my first and hopefully last creation I haven't decided on a name for it yet if I survive this then I'll be sure to name it. I could call it Chekhov's gun or even Schrodinger's gun but, if I don't survive I'll let whoever finds my body decide on a name for it.
I put down my diary and papers, I proceed to sit down on the chair I place the device on my head while making sure to point the cold and hollow metallic barrel at the center of my head.
see this contraption is relatively simple. a gun that has a strap connected to a trigger it is placed in a way so that any slight movement of the strap will cause the gun to fire. this strap is connected to a motor that is linked to a radiation detector that will provide energy if even a slight amount of radiation hits it it will fire the gun placing a bullet in my cranium.
"Now if I die it truly is god's plan," I say as I look at the grimy mirror in front of me. a self-deprecating chuckle escapes my mouth as I look at the miserable state I'm in bloodshot eyes, dirty unkempt hair, skin as pale as snow, and a disfigured face.
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'Whatever' I thought to myself as I turn the device on effectively placing the trigger in god's hand. as I wait for the gun to decide my fate. I carefully look around the room so as to not accidentally kill myself with the gun. papers scattered everywhere lead containers filled with some of the most radioactive materials known to mankind I chuckle " this apartment will surely be uninhabitable for years to come" I say to no one in particular.
only to be interrupted by a blinding light that goes off temporarily robbing me of my vision. after a couple of seconds of trying to get my vision back, I look down confused and dazed only to see that my white lab coat has been dyed with the beautiful crimson color of blood.
'so god did pull the trigger' I say as I look at the mirror and then I begin to tilt forward as I plummet to the ground with a thud. I start to feel sleepy, "my eyes feel heavy," I say but before eternal sleep could embrace me I crawl toward my diary with half of my head attached I look into the pages filled with writing I flip to an empty page as I scribble something with my blood before my head hits the ground.
this fall causes the diary I was writing in to flip open to the first page.
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when I was young I used to be quite bright, I used to run around with friends playing games and doing stuff you would normally expect 10-year-olds to do. well, that was until an accident happened which left me disfigured, it was quite unfortunate really, I was walking down the street when a drunk driver hit me with his car that wasn't what disfigured me though, it was the skidding on the asphalt with my face that sealed the deal, it was quite a miracle I survived.
I was bedridden in the hospital for a long time but after getting out surely everything would go back to normal right? I would get to play with my friends and I get to tell them a cool story right? well contrary to young ME's beliefs a kid that looks like a living representation of a ww2 veteran's worst nightmare would have a hard time making friends.
that made me sad but so what, I still had my parents and a younger brother who was 3 at the time, and that was true for a while.
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they had another kid, my younger sister, she was very cute, and everybody in the family loved her very much including me.
my parents were very religious and always talked to us about how god has everything planned out and so my brother and sister started becoming religious unlike me who was really slaking in that department.
my parents started doting on my younger siblings way more and since I wasn't all that much of a devout follower, it felt like I was slowly becoming invisible to them.
but that didn't bother me I knew that they still loved me, even if they forgot about my birthdays, even if they always sided with my sibling, even if they started beating me up for every minor inconvenience. right? I will always remain their oldest son. and so I always went to sleep with these thoughts in mind, but I always told myself that I was overthinking it.
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I'm currently 17
this monotonous cycle until one day while sitting in the cold. in front of my parent's house as I have just been told to sleep outside because I keep talking while asleep 'due to my lack of religion' according to them, and surfing through my phone that I bought with money I saved from various part-time jobs. I found a random website where people write and make novels so I went to the website and started reading a couple of novels that seemed interesting.
that was when my obsession with novels began this was mainly due to the fact that if you can't live the life you wanted you can always create it. after reading hundreds of books, however, the stories I enjoyed started becoming stale.
All the books started to feel unoriginal and uninspired but they still generated money for their author's. this was the reason I started making my own book. a child who would most likely be kicked out when he turns 18 needs something to support himself.
the book wasn't anything special it was based on a world where monsters and awakened humans existed, the main character was a kid named Cole Redfield and his sister Claire Redfield who were talented kids that comes from a family of commoners nothing all that special happens after that just fight, power up, fight, friendship, power up, romance between Cole and his heroines while Claire remained the 'ice princess' that she is and, boom I created my self a money printer.
despite the novel being so bland and generic many people loved it, something about character interactions feeling real or something like that, and the fact that Cole and Claire worked together rather than one being boosted out of his mind while the other acted like a damsel in distress.
not like I cared, to be honest, I just wanted to do something that would make me money since my parents have already started treating me like garbage. they do do talk to me sometimes though but it was mostly just to sneer and talk about my appearance.
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I'm currently 18,
my parents kicked me out of the house, top-tier parenting if I do say so myself. well on the bright side I did get a scholarship to one of the local universities though it was only a 50% scholarship ill just have to add another part-time job, so I got busy with life and started slowing down on the story uploads. little did I know that this would come back to bite me in the ass.
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I'm currently 20
here I am lying in a hospital bed with multiple stab wounds apparently one guy who has had enough of me not uploading anything on my novel came after me. he went to my university dorm broke in and stabbed me 3 times once in the stomach and once in the forearm after I tried to protect myself and once in the leg after I tried to run away.
thankfully my roommates managed to restrain him and called the police, while I was trying to stop the bleeding. thankfully I survived. though you can't imagine how shocked I was when my dad came to visit but turns out he wasn't here to wish me well he just came to recruit me to their church.
"If you were religious, god would have protected you from this!" he shouted as I called for a nurse to escort him out as he was being escorted out he didn't forget to send one last jab my way "I wish you weren't born," he said which caused the nurse and guard who were following him to look at him with wide eyes.
funny thing is it affected them more than it affected me because honestly speaking I didn't consider this man my father anymore so I told him politely to go fuck himself. which he didn't take well evident by all the curses he threw at me after. so much for being religious ey?
after my father left I picked up my laptop to go check out my novel not to complete it but rather to completely ruin it. so I started writing where slowly but surely I killed off the main cast. the novel was 5 years into the future from when it started.
so after a month of on-and-off writing, I published the final chapter where the main character and his last lover die together while fighting the demon king and his wife. it was quite enjoyable seeing the people who were still reading the novel rage and so I closed my laptop as I went to sleep.
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I'm currently 26
I finished college and cut ties with my family completely my brother and sister sadly turned into insufferable idiots after being with my parents for a long time so I decided to stop talking to them as a whole.
idiots aside, I'm now employed in a top research institute, and I also fell in love. she works at a local café called cross café. she is a bit religious but, she is a really sweet and overall nice woman.
she was the first ever to be a decent human being to me after seeing my face and I'm not going to lie that is what made me first fall in love with her.
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I'm currently 35
I'm now married to that girl who worked at the café and I feel happier than ever I guess life truly does come around after all.
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I'm currently 40
I was fired from my job because an idiot got careless and caused an explosion in the lab and pinned it on me. you really can't trust people I thought I learned this when my parents betrayed my trust but, I guess being with my wife has caused me to become a lot more trusting.
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I'm currently 41
I'm trying to find a job but I can't. no place I go to would want a guy who caused an explosion to work with them. other than that my wife is starting to leave the house a lot more often I think she has a part-time job to support us. she's so nice.
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I'm currently 45
she cheated. she has been cheating for the past four years. I saw her text messages. she told me that I wouldn't have been fired if I believed in god. she said that I was worthless now, and she said that she regrets ever getting married. you really can't trust anyone but yourself also, isn't cheating a sin? so much for being religious ey?
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I'm currently 50 was written in blood
though nothing was visible on this page since it was filled with blood. a lonely man could be seen resting on top of the diary with only one eye open since the other one was blown off by a gun that still smoking to this very moment.