Valen's eyes couldn't get any wider if he tried. But he wished they could, since he wanted to take everything all at once in his vision.
When was it, the first time he saw an amusement park?
Ah, yes--it was in a family movie. It was sparkling, and colorful, and for a child like him, it looked like a paradise. When he saw how happy the child in that movie was, going with his parents and siblings, Valen was even more convinced that it was a paradise.
Because the old man in that tall building where people went to pray every week told him he'd get what he couldn't get in this world in paradise.
As he watched the movie alone in an empty hospital room, Valen thought it wasn't bad then, even if he died. Death wouldn't be so bad if he could spend it with his family in an amusement park, would it? And it became his spell every time the pain in his wrecked body became unbearable.
It's okay, it's fine, it's not bad.