It started to rain and wet the windows. Almira is alone at home because her sister still hasn't come home from campus. Almira pursed her lips. There was no warmth at all, a sense of loneliness seemed to pervade his whole body and mind, which was alone in his room.
It didn't feel like tears just flowed out, Almira felt fragile and her heart ached. Sometimes he hides the sound of his sobs. "Usually when Medina hasn't come home from campus I'm here with my mother but now I'm alone here," he thought.
Again, Almira missed her mother, especially when she remembered all the memories that had happened. "Mom, Mira misses. Don't leave Mira here alone," he whispered.
Almira does feel that currently, her inner wounds have not completely healed, and sometimes she wants to go to a psychiatrist for consultation. Not because of the loss of his mother but because the shadows of his former lover continue to disturb his mind.
Even though when at work he looks normal, he can even be said to be cheerful and looks as if nothing ever happened, but when he is alone his heart again feels excruciating pain. Tears that always testify to all of Almira's current heartache and broken feelings.
Missing everything, the caress and hugs of his mother when he was tired because of work at the office can also make him feel happy but unfortunately the caress and hugs now he can't feel again. Now he could only hug himself when this cold and loneliness approached him.
Almira also cannot lie to her conscience about her feelings for Agya. It's hard to forget the person who hurt him. "Agya, I've tried desperately to forget you but it always fails and when I try to stay away and forget all about you I don't know why my heart hurts even more."
"Please! Please Agya disappears from my mind. Don't keep hurting me like this" he continued.
Sometimes Almira hates her current situation. "Losing two people that I love so much. It hurts! Yes, it hurts. Why do I have to go through all this? Why do I have to accept all this harsh reality?" Almira thought.
Because he never thought that behind his career which went smoothly in the last few years and his life which felt very perfect even without a father figure beside him since he was little, it turned out to have a very painful surprise.
Yes, maybe if you look at the past few years, Almira's life is a life that is quite dreamed of by women her age. Having a mother and sister who always loves and supports herself sincerely and some handsome and is always buying and also the only son of a successful businessman is every girl's dream and all that Almira gets. Even Ariana, who is her sister, is envied by the perfection of her life.
But now the people he loved the most had disappeared. She had to lose a male figure when she was in deep love and she also had to lose her mother when she still didn't feel enough to give her mother happy.
Indeed, at this time he did not lose everything because Medina was always by his side and also his favorite aunt would always be there when he needed it.
"I feel alone when I have to lose the people I love. There are still many good people around me," he thought, starting to realize that he was still surrounded by good people.
Almira can only cry when she feels that everything feels unfair. At the age of 22, he felt that the burden he felt was quite heavy. Although he has often encouraged himself to keep trying to live a normal life as usual without this drama of tears, always when he remembers those times it only makes him feel down again.
"Until now I'm still curious why you canceled our wedding even though the preparations were ninety-five percent," he said.
"Your attitude is very kind and sweet, and always patient when I sulk, it's not clear which makes it difficult for me to forget you just like that, even though your actions have been really bad to me and my family," said Almira remembering Agya's face.
Almira only wanted one clear reason why her ex-boyfriend just broke up. "If you don't mean it and I'm not the woman you want but why have you been present in my life for years providing entertainment and jokes that made me love you even more? Is it because of your parents? Doesn't your mother want a daughter-in-law like me? Or what?"
Since having a relationship with Agya it feels okay. Agya's family also accepted Almira even though her mother initially didn't approve because Almira was just a girl who was born into an ordinary family while Agya's family was a successful businessman family who was quite famous in her city. But Agya once said that she had convinced her mother that Almira was a good and right son-in-law for her.
After getting the blessing of her future mother-in-law, it's the opposite, Almira's family can't accept Agya as their future son-in-law, especially Alda's mother. For some reason, when she was alive, Alda felt she had a bad feeling about her daughter's relationship with Agya.
"It turns out that Mom's hunch about you was true, if only I had listened to your mother's words and obeyed her, my heart wouldn't hurt this much. Why do you have the heart when I have instilled trust in you but instead you waste it even if you just destroy it."
"Now I just want mom to come back even though it's impossible but I want to hug and I miss mom's kisses. I miss the advice you gave me."
"I'm sorry, ma'am because in the past I often didn't listen to Mama's words and even ignored the advice that I gave. Now, Almira is sorry, Mom," he continued.
It's true what people say, regret always comes too late. Almira is an obedient child, but for some reason, when her mother advised her to break up with Agya, Almira didn't want to listen to her.
At that time, Almira's love for Agya was great and she didn't want to lose Agya because she thought Agya was the best person. If you remember Agya's attitude, she likes to ignore and sometimes acts indifferent. "I should have never fought for you, if I knew it would end like this, I would have listened to your mother's advice to break up with you."
Right now he felt empty. The sinking of the love he felt made him sink into the deepest wounds. Although he no longer hopes to be reunited with his former lover, he hopes that both Agya and himself will be able to find their respective life partners in the best and right version.
"I hope that you get the type of woman you want and hopefully I can also meet the right man, of course, who loves and cares for me sincerely."
"Even though at this time I am still hesitant and afraid to be close to men again. My feelings and my heart have been closed because of the wounds you gave," she whispered.