"Axel! Sign my boobies!!!"
"Feuer I want to have jungle fever session!"
"Axeellll. I love you!"
"He looked at me!"
"Please! Give me your autograph! I am ready to suck your....."
Ladies and Gentlemen let me present you Axel "Feuer" and his fans. Bunch of degenerates and youngsters surrounding blondie dude looking quite brutal aka german barbarian style. When I first heard his songs I have thought that it was just a rip off from Scooter and Rammstein. Even more shocking was when I saw his concert which seemed like a bastardised combo of Scooter and Rammstein. Crazy artistic performances and Eurodance movements. Piece of shit! How could he do that with my childhood music and favourite bands?!
But seems that life had more shit to offload on me. If shit music combo wasn't enough I had to deal with constant stunts of our Rock star. Let me tell you what I had to face in a last day or two.
Overdose, 2 times. Overdosed hookers, 3 times. Minor fight, 1 time. Fight turning into a brawl, 4 times. Helping to save hooker that got thrown out of a roof to swimming pool, 1 time. Telling drug dealer to back off....way too many times, I stopped counting on 10th or 20th. This is not really my job but fucking manager-slave master-pimp of Axel requested that I will act more like personal bodyguard rather than just simple scarecrow. Thanks to my popularity and memes. Trauma Team just offered me more money and good break after this case. So now instead of just walking around with other Trauma Team guys I have to babysit, literally babysit, that moron.
Ah, I forgot to tell you something about Axel "Feuer". His real name is not Axel and he is not european. Axel's real name is Karl Schreder, from somewhere in mid-west. The only European thing he has is that his grand-grandpa was runaway SS-man that hid initially in South America and later on moved to US. He got scouted for his brutal-manly looks and singing skills. Got new name and started climbing musical Olympus with the help of his manager and record company. So just another hyped up star with fake bio.
Now I am bodyguarding Axel going for a party at some luxurious mansion. Axel brought to party not only me but also at least 20 kilos of drugs. Name it and you will find it there. Cocaine, check. Heroine, check. LSD, check. Mescaline, check. Designer marks. Ecstasy? ha are you kidding me? Europe is professional when it comes to this stuff and Alex ordered special delivery of that crap. So after our arrival Alex started acting like a give-away machine and started throwing people with drugs. Party got more lively and now you can see it slowly turning into good old orgy. But for me it is turning into pain in a neck. Axel got himself some new bed-friends and now their gang of boys and girls are going to have some fun in one of guest rooms.
Standing near this room I keep checking surrounding and monitoring Axel's health. Moans and groans started becoming so loud that I had to move to nearest window just not to hear those sounds. In case I have health monitoring devices will warn if something really bad will happen. So far I just got reports stating that client is having combo of drugs, viagra and muscle relaxants. In the beginning that used to make me worry but after a while I just got used to this.
While I was looking at people having fun I heard a group of people moving towards me. I got prepared for anything to happen and readied my handgun. However, it was just a bunch of guests going to join orgy.
"Hoho, look at that! Guardian Angel from Trauma Team is here. Alex didn't lie that he got ways to heaven and now I believe him even more. First it was Angel Dust and now Guardian Angel hahaha."- said their leader and his words just irritated me while his sidekicks-asslickers just laughed at his speech.
"I wanna see if he is really up to his reputation. Mamo go and beat him up. I want to have some warming up show before jumping into a gang banging." - said their leader and pointed me to a big Animal bodyguard.
"Come on Eli, let's just get in and have some fun."
"Don't be a killjoy Kerry. What can be better than blood and sex? Momo, now!"
Animal rushed at me like a fucking battering ram. I had to twist my body trying to evade getting punched right in face. Momo however showed that he has a lot of experience in hand-to-hand combat so next moment he made quick kick to my leg. I have activated Kerenzikov and Reflex Tuner to avoid being forced to fall down on my knees. Dumb Animal however just kept throwing punches and kicks followed by cheers of audience.
Enough. I had enough of this. I am not a fucking gladiator or slave for entertainment. I blocked his attack using subdermal armour in my hands. Then I have made a quick move and got behind Animal. With all my anger I kept inside for the last couple of days I swing my leg and kick him right in a balls. Bodyguard fall down and screamed like a little bitch with high-pitch voice.
"I am not done with you yet." - I said with chilling intonation. - " Have some more."
So I kept kicking him right in a balls till he passed out and I released all my anger on him. However, I have a feeling that there is still some left. I got closer to main instigator of this fight.
"Don't fucking anger Guardian Angel." - I kicked Eli in similar way to his bodyguard, right to his balls.
"Every time I meet such cunts and dumbs like you I try to kick them right in balls so they don't reproduce and don't pass their dumb genes." - I said while landing my final kick on his balls. Eli just keep screaming and trying to cover himself.
People just kept laughing at that and started joking about whole situation. I finally felt at east. All anger and fury is out of me. I really needed that pressure relief session. I saw a guy with a cigarette and wanted to ask for one. Ron told me that after good fight or sex you must have a cigarette.
"Hey, spare me a cigarette?" - I asked him.
"Not a problem, take one" - he opened cigarette holder with Kerry Eurodyne on it.
"Wow, you must be ex-Samurai? Famous Kerry Eurodyne?"
"Hahaha, that is first time in a while when people call me ex-Samurai first and not Oh my god Kerry Eurodyne." - he laughed at me and I just smiled at him.
"Let me light it for you." - he takes out a revolver shaped zippo and lights a cigarette.
"Don't worry about beating the shit out of Eli and his fighting bitch. Things happen at such parties and he will be actually happy about possible popularity hype."
"Mr Eurodyne don't you mind to give me autograph since you are one of few people that have known Johnny Silverhand."
"Oh so you are big fan of Johnny. Not a problem, for such a good show I will drop a message to other ex-Samuarai members and we will send you shirt with our signatures. Just remember to remind be about that. Now I am going to join a wonderful orgy. Wanna come?" - Kerry said with a teasing tone.
"Nah, I got a job to do here. Have a good time and thanks for cig?" - I said with apologising smile.
"Ah your loss. Ok, everyone lets go and have some FUN!"- Kerry roared and cheering gang of sexaholics rushed into a guest room.
Well. Not a really bad day. I released my anger. Had a cig with a living legend and soon will receive Samurai shirt with autographs. Yeah, not a bad day. Buuuuuuut, just let me kick Eli and Momo one more time.
A.N - hey guys sorry for delay. just had some bad hangover and sickness but here is second chapter out of three about Markus and showbiz life. Another one will come soon depending on your reaction on this one.
my pat reon account. -> (pat reon.com/AbiDaulen) Come and support me there!