Who are you Pina?

When I was sixteen, one of my professors sent a letter to my father saying that a The lady should not behave like I behave in her class. All I remember is that I was a friend with guys. We used to laugh hard and joke around with each other. I supposed What she meant by that is that I should not be around men; I should be sitting in a corner,never speak unless spoken, or maybe what she meant by that is that girls should behavea certain way. I also remember the same teacher sending me home for wearing sneakers and not thestandard two-inch black shoes. First of all, we cannot afford it. Secondly, sneakers are more comfortable.I know that it must be the policy of the school that I should be wearing their standard uniforms. Sometimes some people do not understand that not everybody can afford the standard that they want.Isn't education supposed to be for everyone? not just for those who can afford to buy uniforms or reach their definition of standard? Or isn't education supposed to be more than just two inches of black shoes?I did not give the letter to my father; I threw it away. The next day she was looking for my guardian, and I said I did notgive the letter. She asked me why, and I said, "Because I really do not understand your reason for wanting to see my parents, and I believe I did not do anything wrong. And if I did, can you at least tell me so I have an idea?" Her face turned red, and she sent me home again. Was I wrong for wanting clarification? oh well. I did not go home; I went to the bookstore and spent my whole day trying to read as much as I could. I was not able to afford to buy books before because my mom only gave me enough money for transportation. Every time I have free time, I always go to the same bookstore to read books. At first, the saleswoman will tell me I cannot stay there and that if I want to read books, I need to buy them. My persistence paid off. She got tired of telling me every day that I could not be there and just told me to at least put the books back on the shelf, which I always did.After a few weeks, I became friends with the lady at the bookstore. I told her what happened in my class and why I spend more time in her bookstore. "You know, I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to go out, explore, and tell the world what's really out there." She looked away as she was saying that. "But my father wanted me to be an artist. He told me that the world is a dangerous place. I sat down, I bowed, and I tried to be what he wanted me to be. I tried. One night I was laying down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. It was like I snapped out of reality and decided to pack my stuff and leave home." She smiled at me. "That was the best decision I ever made. I did not become a writer, but at least I am surrounded by books every day for the rest of my life." Then she looked straight into my eyes. "What I'm trying to say is that sometimes people think that they are puncturing our little bubbles and that they are preparing us for our future, when really they are froisting upon us their own fears and limitations." I fell into deep thoughts about what I really wanted to be. Do I really want to be a flight attendant? Is that what I really wanted to be?The next day, that professor didn't show up, and instead, a student teacher is the one who is looking after us. It stayed like this for a few weeks until a new professor came. Nobody knows what happened to her. On the bright side, I don't need to worryanymore on how I will take my guardians on her.Days pass by, and I don't spend as much time at the bookstore as I did before. I am still friends with the lady, and I sometimes spend hours and hours talking to her. She told me that her name is Pina, and she also taught me how to crochet. It is such a nice feeling that only I did not found a good books, and I also found a good connection. "Ate Pina, my semester break is coming. I will not be able to see you, most likely, for more than a month. Me and my mom are going on vacation"She did not say anything, but I can see that she got sad. "It is ok, ate Pina; I know you will miss me, but I will buy you a lot of pasalubong." I walked toward her and started teasing her. "Oh well, that is good; you keep on messing up my store!" she said in a joking manner. I said my goodbye, and she gave me the sweetest smile I've seen and waved goodbye. After almost two months of vacation, the first day of school arrived. I am excited not only because I will see my friends but also because I bought a lot of stuff for Ate Pina, and I know she will love it. After school, I went straight to the bookstore, but she was not there. It was a different lady; I've never seen her before. "Hi! Where is ate Pina?" She did not speak for awhile and was just looking at me with full sadness in her eyes. "She's gone." She looked down."When is she coming back? Do you know?" She shook her head. "I am afraid she is never coming back. She got hit and run." I dropped the plastic bag I was holding. I felt a shiver down my spine and weakness in my knee. I lost my balance and fell to the floor. The lady ran towards me to make sure I was fine. After I heard the news about Ate Pina, everything went surreal. Next thing I knew, I was walking home, still shocked. I looked at the plastic bag I was holding. It was the stuff I was supposed to give to Pina. Tears started to flow from my eyes. It felt like something was stabbing my chest as I remembered her last goodbye and the way she smiled at me. I wish I knew it was the last. I should have hugged her or at least thanked her for giving me a lot of wisdom and lessons. One of the things she told me that I will never forget is that I am the writer of my own life; don't let someone else hold your pen. Make conscious choices every day that align your actions with your values and dreams. Choose whether the sentence ends with a period, question mark, or exclamation point. Most of all, don't be afraid to change your path when you must and keep moving forward. She also taught me that one of the happiest moments in life is when you learn to let go of what you can't change. The past cannot be changed, forgotten, or erased. However, the lesson learned can prepare you for a brighter tomorrow. Those are the words I am longing to hear from my parents. I tried to get her information from the bookstore, but they did not give it to me for security purposes, which I understand. I never knew where she lived or what her whole name was. I only knew her as Pina, and I only knew her by heart. She wanted to become a writer but never had a chance, and I know she could have been amazing at it. After a few weeks of processing my thoughts and gathering strength, I was able to visit the bookstore again. This was my last visit. It brings back so many memories. I was sixteen, and Pina was forty-five. We shared the same thoughts, the same pain, and the same dream. I promise myself I will write about her. I will forever remember her recollection. I wish I had known you more. I did not have a chance to say my last goodbye, and now, after eight years, I still have no closure or peace in my heart. It is like a book that has no ending. Same question in my mind: Who are you, Pina?