It was a bright morning. The view from the window was really nice. I could actually see the whole Florida from here. I barely had any sleep last night. My eyes were sore from all the crying. I kept thinking about Xavier, Brianna and what they did to me at prom. Their lies ruined my life completely. I had nothing left. My self-esteem became low. I was slowly turning into a psycho. I couldn't take it anymore. The pain, depression and anger was eating me up. I wanted to end of all this. I took off the oxygen mask I had on as well as the drip and got up from the bed. I opened the door halfway through,stuck out my head a bit and checked my surveillance. The coast was clear. I escaped from my room and went to the elevator. The elevator couldn't take me to the roof top of the hospital. I saw a small door at the top floor which had a sign pointing upwards. I opened it and saw a staircase. I climbed the stairs and finally arrived at the roof. The wind blew harder up here than it did down below. It kept blowing my hair straight to face. I found a rubber band lying on the floor and used to pack my hair into a ponytail. It was too late for me to turn back. My mind was already up. I'm finally going to be free from this cruel world. No more tears. No more pain. Emotions will definitely meaning nothing to me anymore. All that will be behind soon. I can't wait to be with Grandma up in the sky.
Passers-by crowded the hospital. They were all staring at me. Some of them were taking pictures with their phones,some were murmuring while others yelled to get my attention. Claudia was in the crowd and so we're my family. Two police cars arrived and parked in front of the hospital. I moved towards the edge of the hospital, ready to jump and end my life.
"Jocelyn, please rethink your decision. Do you want to end your life because of Xavier? A guy who barely cared about you? Do you want Brianna to finally get what she had always wanted? Even though she does not want you dead,she will get what she has been yearning for"Angel me said
"Ignore her Jocelyn. She doesn't know what she's saying. We both no one cares about you. Just look at what Xavier did. You gave him your love and trust and he sold it for some cash. He never cared and was only pretending. They all have been. If you die now,they will only cry at your funeral and forget you within a week. No one loves you, Jocelyn. The only one who does is uo there,in the clouds above"Devil me said with a smirk on her face
"Don't listen to her. She's lying like she always does. Your family and friends still love you. You're mom,dad, Owen, Chloe,Coco, Claudia and Kenzie. Even Angela too. Look at them below,do you see how worried they all are? Do you want to leave them this soon? What about your mom? Do you think she will handle your death really easily? And Chloe? Will she ever get a chance to talk to her big sister when she's all grown up? Please Jocelyn, think about this. If not for anyone but for them. They are your family and they will ever let you down"Angel me said
"I don't care anymore. I've come this to go back now. I gave my all to love and what did it do to me? It stabbed in the back,left me wounded and to bear this pain alone. It even mocked me in the face and helped Brianna get what she wanted. I don't feel anything anymore except hate. My heart is shattered into pieces and neither one of them can be glued back. I have nothing to live for. Goodbye World. Maybe in my next life,I pray to be a different Jocelyn"I said
I closed my eyes, spread my arms out and was ready to jump. I was about to jump when something or someone pulled me from behind. I opened my eyes and saw Claudia. Owen was there with her.
"Are you crazy? Have you really gone mad?"Claudia scolded
"Maybe I have gone mad. What's the use of saving me anyway? You should have let me jump off and leave the cruel world. I gave it all had, only to be paid back with a broken heart. A broken heart Claudia! Tell me, what am I supposed to do now? Should I applaud Xavier's performance and lies? Should I go over to a flower shop and buy a beautiful bouquet for Brianna and thank her for destroying me? Tell me Claudia, what should I do? I'm fed up with everything and everyone"I said, breaking down in tears
"Jocelyn,you can't end your life because of someone who doesn't care about you anymore. You have me. You have us; your parents, Owen,me, Chloe and of course Coco. Do you want them to suffer because of this crazy step you're about to make?"Claudia said
"Think about Mom. If not for yourself but for her. Do you know the kind of trauma she will go through if you end up killing yourself? She will be devastated and shattered. Please Jocelyn, don't make a mistake that you will regret"Owen said softly
"You're brother is right. We all love you and wouldn't let you down. My mom once told me,'Where there is life,there is hope'. If Xavier doesn't love you, they're other guys out there who would be willing to take you as their girlfriend. You're like my sister,even though we aren't blood related,I still see you as one. You're an amazing friend. The best I could ever had wished for"Claudia said calmly
I looked at them and then the crowd. They were right. I gave Claudia a hug and allowed my tears to run down her shoulders. Owen joined the hug and managed to keep his act together. He slowly stroked my hair and eventually calmed me down. I held Owen's arm and walked back inside. We went back to my room. Mom and Dad were already there waiting for us. As soon as Mom caught a glimpse of me at the door,she quickly hugged me and broken down in tears. Dad stood there and didn't say a word. His eyes were watery and he tried his best not to let them leak.
The nurse came in and reattached the drip to my hand. She injected the drip with a sedative which made me fall asleep. I was kept under strict observation to avoid me making another stupid move. From that day onwards,I slowly turned numb. I wanted everyone and everything out of my life. I was discharged days later from the hospital and went back home. Dad parked the car in the driveway and accompanied me inside the house. Mom threw a small welcome home party for me and invited my friends over. I didn't look surprised neither was I happy about the party. I looked at the decorations,the pastries she made and the big banner which had 'WELCOME BACK HOME JOCELYN' on it. I ignored everyone and went to straight to my room. Coco was at my door, holding her ball in her jaw and wanted me to play with her. I ignored her and slammed the door right in her face.
I spent the rest of my miserable life in my room. I no longer came down for breakfast and dinner. The essence of food seemed like a waste to me. I drew down my curtains, turned off the lights and stayed in the dark. I laid on my bed, everyday thinking about that awful moment at prom. I locked myself up in my room and kept everyone out of my life. Even my adorable CoCo. Life had no meaning to me anymore. My heart had completely gone cold. No one or nothing can melt it.
"Jocelyn! Jocelyn dear, it's me,Mom! I brought you your favorite snack;milk and cookies"Mom said
Mom always did this. She never stopped persuading me to come out from my room and eat. She never gave up neither did I give in. She stayed at the door for awhile and ends up leaving the food in front of my door. I could hear from inside that someone was munching on my cookies. And that someone could either be Owen or Coco. I turned off my phone to avoid anyone reaching me. I was completely empty. I am living in a body had no use for anymore. I've turned numb to the world. I've become a robot. A lifeless being. I've become one with sadness and loneliness. I guess this the price you pay for falling in love.